Dear Natalie,

Happy anniversary. Not our anniversary, but the day when the 39 Clues all started twelve years ago. A million dollars for a clue? Bit of a surprise, huh? I mean, who's grandmother would offer you a million dollars and the chance to die? Yeah, Grace. But us kids took it anyway, kids as young as eleven and fourteen. Nasty surprises along the way too, Starlings getting bombed up.

I would remember the clue hunt, your ruthlessness…the times we almost got killed by your pathetic mother, the times we thought that we would loose. And who could forget the time when you told me you loved me?

That day was the best and worst day of my life. We were at the base of the cliff waiting for Amy and Ian to come back and see whoever had won the clue hunt. Your hair was free and you were wearing a totally hot outfit. You turned to me and said scathingly "Taking too long aren't they?" and the tone of your voice suggested that it was all my fault.

Something inside of me snapped and I wanted to kick your sorry butt and cuss at you for a long time. We were already fourteen by that time and you had grown gorgeous over the years.

"I love you" you said and I remember tripping and you helping me up. Then we were in each other's arms kissing each other like there was no tomorrow.

We won the clue hunt, thanks to Amy distracting Ian by fluttering her eyelashes. You went back to London and I never heard from you again. Then eight years later, I heard from you but not in a way I was expecting.

Mr. and Mrs. Vikram Kabra

Request your presence at the marriage of their daughter,

Natalie Elizabeth Kabra

To

Jonathan van der Gransen

4:30 pm at the Kabra mansion

Had to say Nat that it broke my heart when it came. I cried for a day and I went to a bar and got drunk. The next day, I woke up in my room my knuckles hurting and bloody. Turns out that I had punched the walls in my frustration.

Tell me Nat, did you really mean that? I mean, eight years without connection after kissing and you suddenly turn up engaged. Did you really mean that kiss or was that a distraction?

But you're not the one to blame, Natalie. I am. I should have hold on to you longer and harder when I had the chance for you to love me. I should have told you that I loved you instead of running away from you.

So Nat, I'll be going away for a little while. Don't go looking for me, alright? Don't make this hard. I left after the wedding with my heart shattered and in pieces. Nat, when I see you again…It will be harder for me to leave. And I can't bear to see your pretty face again without having to cry like a baby and scream like a girl.

Natalie, I love your amazing hair and your gorgeous smile and your sparkling eyes and your ruthlessness and your determination especially your bravery.

You'll be happy with that Jonathan whatshisname. You'll have kids and a house and a whole perfect life ahead of you. I just wish I could say the same for me.

If you get this letter, this means that I'm gone. And Nat, don't cry. I'm not worth it for your tears. Heck, I can't even tell you that I love you and keep up with you. But I'm sure Jonathan can. That's why you chose him, isn't it? You had to find a guy that would be devilishly smart and handsome and perfect. That isn't me. But maybe Jonathan is.

Do me a favor and smile and laugh during your wedding day. Pretend that nothing's happened and that I hadn't left you forever. Pretend you didn't get this letter. Pretend that everything's okay. Put up a façade for the sake of your fiancée, you family and the 695 guests you wacky parents invited.

Heck, pretend that I didn't even exist.

Natalie…I'll love you forever…That's why I won't see you again.

~Daniel "Dan" Cahill~