Nobody's Siren: a lie in three acts

by Sofricus Aurora Zakuro

for silver moon droplet's challenge . I'm through with telling lies--I've lived one, I've died one, and now I am one. Larxenecentric. Het, yuri. Lots of song lyrics

Nobody's Siren

Nobody's Siren

a lie in three acts

(for silver moon droplet's contest. i don't own the chars the game or the lyrics used. lyrics are from various songs, message me if you want to know)

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I've moved past telling lies—i've lived one, i've died one, and now i am one

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there's no once upon time but there was a princess.

(this is the first lie)

and I told it to myself.

"I am a princess," I told my mother. She was a pretty woman, I think (or am I lying to myself) with the kind of face that one's memory just glosses over until you can't remember their features at all.

And I was five, and beautiful, with golden hair like a cloud and green eyes like acid, and she agreed (lied) and told me I was. Cause I guess she just didn't have the heart to explain that I was just a normal girl.

you are young

life has been kind to you

you will learn

and then I went to school

I told the others I was a princess

and they said no, I wasn't.

They weren't lying and perhaps I am grateful for that. Or perhaps I am not.

But when Teacher-dear leant her face down near mine and said certainly, you are a pretty girl, with your golden hair like a cloud and green eyes like acid, but you are not a princess. you are nothing…

She was not lying in part—I was not a princess.

But to this day I wonder—

Were her last three words lies?

Was I nothing?

Am I nothing?

But whether or not I was nothing, whether I was someone or anyone or no one at all (though not Nobody, for that is what I am now) I grew. I grew out of princess-delusions (but truthfully, I never did. I was lying to myself and to my mother and to my teacher and to my friends when I said I knew I was nothing special) and into grades and careers and boys.

Well that is a lie.

See, I lied again. When you are a lie, you cannot help but lie.

Not boys. Boy.

Liamaru.

but I pretended to be happy

and as such I lived a lie

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i love you, relena

(that is the second lie)

and he told it to me

I was grown old past school and daydreams (I lie—I still dreamed) and all I had to earn my way with was my golden hair like a cloud and green eyes like acid, which were still beautiful (or so everyone said—but were they lying?) and so I frequented the pubs and the clubs and the dark hell-holes of society where nobody respectable would tread and all for the fickle pursuit of money

(well that is a lie

some deep-down part of me was searching for love)

but anyway

I went to the bars

so let's find a bar

so dark we forget who we are

and all the scars from the nevers and maybes die

and there I met him.

I am not lying (this I swear) when I say I had never met another like him. His skin was dark, the color of wood, but his hair was pale, the color of petals, and his mouth was filled with lies that purified you while they killed you slowly, and I loved him at first sight

(Another lie—I hated him at first sight)

I hated his cocky smirk and girly clothes and yellow eyes that seemed to attract girls with every blink or flutter of an eyelid

but he ignored the other girls

(a lie—he had nought but smiles for them, never words or promises but he did look their way)

in pursuit of me.

and he took me by the hand and praised my golden hair like a cloud and my green eyes like acid

and said I was beautiful

(did he lie?)

within a week

(I lie—eight days)

Liamaru had moved from "you're beautiful" to "I love you, Relena." I cannot count the times he said that but I know now that every single time (was a lie)

And all those "I'd do anything for you"s and "All I need is you"s (were lies too)

What more can man desire

Than love sir

More than love sir

and I should have known

and I would have known

but for he called me princess

(A lie every time those words fell from his lips, count the lies like hourglass in a time-turner, or like ticks of a clock, wrapping me further around his finger)

and I said those fickle words back

(I'd like to say I lied)

for many years

until nobody.

We fought often

My Lia and I

(I lie—this was our first fight)

and he called me scum and cast me out

(these were I believe his true feelings, but can you trust the word of she-who-lives-lies)

and I ran crying

swearing we were over

(a lie)

but alone from Lia I was more nothing than I'd been

life goes on

but I'm gone

cause I die

without you

and then I met him

it was another dark night, another dark bar, and I knew from the start it was wrong

(only a little white lie—i was fairly sure he was nobody respectable, but that never stopped me)

and he said "what's your name"

and I said "nothing"

(see, I lied, my name is Relena)

and he said

"well, I shall be nobody to your nothing"

he had silver hair and yellow eyes that flashed red when he was angry

and he spun lies akin to Lia's

more praises of my golden hair like a cloud and yellow eyes like acid

and how he was a prince and only I was fit to be his princess

(lies, lies, all LIES)

but he spoke no false I-love-yous

instead he told fairy tales.

Told of a woman they called the Siren, never forgetting to mention that she had golden hair like a cloud and green eyes like acid—but not exactly like a cloud, said nobody (so another little lie there, one I always overlooked) but rather in two spikes like antennae from the back of her head, and her skin was paler than mine, he said, and her lips rosier, and she had a purpose.

And she served a king, a king with silver hair and yellow eyes that flashed red when he was angry, and her job was thus: to seduce men into joining him by spinning sweet songs, until the men consented. And they became the king's loyal knights, and eventually he made the Siren his queen and all lived

(how I have loathed these words—no, I lie, I loved them once)

happily ever after

and this story was of course untrue

there's a fine, fine line

between a fairy tale

and a lie

but he asked "will you be my siren"

and I said "yes"

and I am not lying when I say I wanted it with all that was left of my heart

and he said here are my conditions

one you must give up any former lovers you have had

two you must allow me to rip out your heart

I didn't mind losing my heart (yes I did, how would I love without a heart—see, I cannot but lie) and he promised me if I did it bravely I could style my appearance however I wanted it.

And he took his red blades and sliced the organ from my chest as I watched (lies, I closed my eyes) and I thought and thought and when I opened them I looked as such

I still had green eyes like acid, but my golden hair was not quite like a cloud but stuck out in two spikes at the back of my head and my skin was paler and my lips rosier and I was the Siren

(And I avoid my mirror now)

(not quite a lie as I do now but back then I primped and stared for hours thinking myself at last a princess which was in itself a LIE)

and I went in this guise to Liamaru and said (lied) in a voice not my own

"relena has swallowed poison out of love for you"

and he cried tears (were they crocodile-tears of lies or of true love, but I like to think the former)

and I took an overdose of some unnamed pill later and was sick for hours (I lie, about thirty minutes) to try and make it true

to try and convince myself that I hadn't lied

No, no, not lied

Said she took poison she did

Never said that she died

But I know I did as Lia thinks me dead

but I remained in the land of the living

and as such I died a lie

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i am happy

(this is the third lie)

and I told it to myself and to so many others

Eleven men I took to Nobody's side

And the eleventh was Liamaru

They were all the same, telling me they were princes and they would make me their princess

(here too I lie—the ninth said he was a merman)

but I was cruel and heartless and condemned them all

of course, I always thought…

that they would become the loyal knights of Nobody

to serve me and him in the kingdom that would come

(or perhaps a lie

perhaps I always knew that what I was doing was not good)

One question haunts and hurts

too much

too much to mention

Was I really seeking good

Or just seeking attention?

but now I know

they became no knights but heartless minions of my Nobody

but then I thought

and after each one he praised me and lay by me and told me he loved me

(and so many lies every word a lie

did Nobody ever speak to me a single truth?)

and then he said

one more must you bring to my side

and then I shall make you my princess

(He lied)

and I no longer cared about princess

(yes I did)

but I loved him despite my lack of heart

(no I didn't)

And I agreed

(yes I did)

to one last seduction.

And he showed me a girl, a young girl with red hair and eyes like sapphires

And the part of me that once had emotions insisted that it was wrong, wrong, wrong

(No it didn't

Another lie, another lie

I was past the point where gender mattered to me—anything for my master, my Nobody)

and he said, "good nothing, good Siren"

and I do not think there he meant to lie

(but he did)

so the girl (kairi) became my target

she took longer because she did not go to the bars

because she was sort of respectable

and she was naïve

but I got her

got her in my trap like all the others I'd taken to Nobody

but hers required more lies

(so I wove my spider-silk thicker

enlarging the web with falsehoods and coating my tongue with the sweet acid of untruth)

and for the first time since Liamaru

(not a lie)

I was required to say "I love you"

(which was a lie)

And she was not as naïve as she'd seemed and she said it right back

(and to this day I do not know if she lied

I'm sure she did)

And we were in love

(no we weren't)

and I liked it

(did I?)

And I thought for a while, I even thought

That I might ask Nobody if I could have Kairi for myself

(I lied, I really did ask. He said yes, and it was a lie)

because about a week later she died her hair blonde

and I lay beside her knowing that it was over and she belonged to Nobody now

(no I didn't. I was naïve as she was, and did not know)

I am in the dark beside you

Buried sweetly in your yellow hair

And on the same day, it all ended

Kairi—now golden-haired—asked me if I would love her forever

(I lied yes)

She came home dirty and I asked her if she'd been to a bar

(She lied no)

And when I went to my Nobody I asked him if he'd gone to Kairi and if he had ever really loved me and if he loved her

(And he lied no-yes-no)

But the next day my Kairi was not there

And I cried

(Another lie. I cannot cry. Would I have, had I not been who I was, I cannot say)

And I found Nobody too late with my angel, but she was not mine any longer

He had woven her his fairy tale (lie) but this time the siren was called Lorelei and her eyes were blue not green

And posed her the same question he'd posed me

(Little white lie, white lie, he said "Lorelei" instead of "Siren" as I'd said before)

and with eyes aglow she said yes

And I tried to scream (no I didn't) as he ripped out her heart with his red blades and she closed her eyes and when she opened them her hair was thinner and lighter and her skin paler and her lips rosier and she was no longer my Kairi

(Do I lie? Was she ever mine?)

And that night I confronted Nobody

And asked again

I asked him if he'd gone to Kairi and if he had ever really loved me and if he loved her

And he did not lie.

He said yes-no-no

And I am but the twelfth in his heartless army

I watch him kissing Kairi (Naminé, now) and I close my eyes and yell at her in my mind

You lied, my not-love, you lied

And all I see is his lips touching yours

(but even this is a lie, because sometimes when I squeeze my eyes very tight I see the bars and Liamaru, and sometimes even the five-year-old would-be princess that I was)

And I care, I care

(No I don't—I lie)

I don't know if I speak truth or lie anymore

I can't remember

All I know is I watch Naminé from the distance

As he abandons her and finds another

I am vindictive, I do not feel for her

(and this I promise is the truth)

She avoids her mirror

(as I do)

and the lie-coated tongue of Nobody ensnares another victim

and that leaves me

who am I?

I am Nobody's Siren

the stuff of a fairy tale

that was really a lie

I am a monster that Nobody made up to ensnare little girls

and as such I am a lie.

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the end.