Mal looked around as he pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt, not bothering to button it up. On the wall of his quarters, he glanced at the date on the calendar. It had been a year and, if he remembered, he was sure she did, too. He opened the door and climbed out of his room to head to the kitchen.

Standing just outside, he peered in to see Inara sitting at the table all alone. As he watched her in silence, he noticed a lone tear trickling down her cheek, falling to the table top with a little splash.

"It was a year ago today," she whispered. His head jerked towards her, surprised that she was even aware of his presence. "It saddens me to think that she died for being such a great person." Mal walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass on his way to the table, sitting down and pouring himself a shot from the liquor bottle on the surface.

"Nandi was one amazing woman," he agreed and she smiled sadly.

"Did you know she trained to be a certified companion?" Inara asked softly, taking a unhealthy swig from her glass. She cringed as it burned down her throat. Mal smiled.

"Yeah, I know. She told me about her training and her fateful dulcimer incident."

"You should have heard her play it, though," Inara said, smiling as she remembered her friend fondly. "She was very good."

"Doesn't surprise me much," he said, taking a sip. "Smart woman, that Nandi. Got to admit, though, a mite difficult to understand at times," he commented with a smile and chuckle before taking another drink. Inara's head cocked to the side.

"What do you mean, 'difficult to understand'?" She leaned against the table, tilting closer to listen actively.

"Well, after we… well, you know… we were getting ready to fight. I was cleaning the guns and such. She comes in and tells me I ain't been truthful with her. Didn't have a gorram clue what she was talkin' 'bout and I asked her as much. All she said was 'about her feelings for you'. Never did get the chance to ask her again. Jayne got on the com and let us know the cavalcade was comin' for us." He lifted his head and started to chuckle until he saw Inara's face. She had turned deathly pale and her hand was trembling on the table. "Inara?"

"I, um… I think I've stayed up late enough," she mumbled. She set down the glass and made to leave, but Mal got there first, wrapping his fingers around her wrist and holding her still. Inara spun around to face him. "Let go, please," she whispered, narrowing her gaze, but he shook his head. "Mal…"

"I'm not letting' you go until I'm sure you're alright. You look like you're about to pass out."

"I'm tired."

"I mean you look sick, Inara. You ill?" he asked her and touched the back of his hand to her forehead. She seemed to stop breathing. "Inara?"

"I'll be fine as soon as I get some sleep." With that, she withdrew her hand from his and moved to the door of the kitchen, ready to head back to her shuttle before turning to glance at the captain. "You're right about one thing, though; she never seemed to finish her thoughts," she told him with a smile.

"How so?" he asked, returning the grin.

"While I was helping Simon with Petaline, she came in to check on the progress. She looked at me and she said… she said, 'Inara, I thought it was just him that…' and she trailed off. Never did finish her sentence."

The smile slipped from Mal's face as he stared at her. Inara gave a little half shrug, a shimmer of sadness in her eyes, before she turned again and left the kitchen, leaving Malcolm sitting at the table by himself.

Her words turned over in his head several times as he considered their implications. Suddenly, the truth dawned on him like some terrifying emotional reaver, tearing through his brain and ravaging his every thought. He looked at the door she had disappeared through in a moment of stunned silence before rising and following her back to her shuttle. As he stepped onto the landing, she turned to face him from inside her chamber. Mal's legs carried him quickly towards her door and she pushed the button that would allow it to hiss closed. As she reached for it, Mal sprinted the last meter and jumped through the door just as it locked shut behind him.

"That wasn't too neighborly or Companion-like, Miss Inara," he said teasingly, taking in a gulp of air. After a moment, he had regained his breath and stood up straight sighing as he took a step closer to Inara, who backed away similarly. He continued to advance. "You know, Inara… there was something else Nandi said that I've been thinking about."

"Really?" she gasped, forcing her voice to stay as even as possible. She continued to back up. "What's that?"

"Oh, well… as we were talkin' and drinkin' and when we started kissin' on each other," he said bluntly, watching his concealed amusement as she fidgeted uncomfortably, "she said to me, right before we started, 'I ain't her'." He watched her freeze for a moment until he took another step towards her. She stepped back once more and thudded against the wall that came up behind her. "Curious woman, wasn't she?"

"Yes…" Inara breathed out as he took one last step so he was standing less than a foot in front of her. She swallowed hard. "Curious," she mumbled, looking down until Mal's hand came to her face and palmed her cheek, tilting her face back up to his. He was much closer now. His eyes looked deep into hers.

"Supposin' she mighta been onto somethin'?" he murmured before pressing his lips to hers. She responded hungrily and pressed herself against Mal's body, her arms wrapping around his neck and holding him close as he kissed her. A little whimper of pleasure snuck past her throat and he felt it hum through his mouth. He lifted his face from hers and rested his forehead to hers. "Smart woman… she probably figured it out the second she saw you the next morning… after you saw me."

"It couldn't have been too hard for her to deduce," Inara muttered, her eyes slipping closed. "I can't remember before that day the last time I cried so hard. No one else even noticed, but for a woman who trained as a Companion…" Mal's index finger curled under her chin and lifted her face up to his, his wide, pained eyes locking with hers.

"I made you cry?" he whispered, snapping his mouth shut when another tear streaked her face. "Seems to be the thing I do best," he muttered, his brow furrowing with disgust as he released her and stepped away. Her eyes shot to his, wide with terror.

"Mal," she breathed out, her hands fisting by her sides as he stared at her. "Mal, I did everything in my power to hide the truth from you. And, if a Companion decides to keep something from someone, they'll probably never know until she decides to tell them. I didn't want you to know, Mal."

"Not hard to imagine why. I'm no where near your kind of man. You deserve someone kind and smart and someone who can take care of you and… and someone who's capable of lovin' you the way you deserve," he said, his lowering further with each word. He lifted his eyes once more to see her shaking against the wall, her eyes narrowed. "That ain't me, Inara."

"How do you figure?!" she screeched and his eyes shot up to meet her gaze. "You helped Nandi just because I asked, you know what needs to be done and when… Mal, you risked imprisonment and possibly death to save me from that bounty hunter at the academy. How do you figure that you aren't capable of love?" she asked. He exhaled sharply.

"How? Because if I did love you as much as you deserve, I'd fly to the nearest Alliance planet, drop you off and never look back. I'd give you a chance at havin' a real life instead of askin' you to stay here with me. I would have encouraged you to go back to your civilized life after we outted the Alliance about the reavers instead of being down-right giddy that you liked the idea of staying on Serenity. I WOULD GIVE YOU UP IF I LOVED YOU PROPERLY!" he yelled, his face growing more and more red by the second. Then, it softened and he lowered his gaze and his voice.

"But, I don't…" he mumbled. "I don't love you enough to let you go. I love you enough that it makes me a greedy and selfish man that doesn't want what's best for you, but what's best for me and that's havin' you by my side at all times, even if it's just to hear ya yell or criticize me. That's how much I love you, Inara… and it's not enough," he said, his voice cracking as he turned away from her and walked to the shuttle doors.

There was a soft thump and he turned back to Inara to see her slumped against the wall. Panic and fear rose quickly within him and he rushed back to her side, still worried that she might not be well. When he tilted her face up to his, her cheeks were flooded with droplets and a wide smile. His eyes narrowed in confusion as she reached out and pressed her hand to his face.

"I stay here, even though I'm little more than an extra person you're responsible for. The places you go, the people you do business with… they don't care that you have a registered Companion on board. All they care about is that you do the job well. You don't need me on board Serenity. When I left, your business was doing just fine without me, but I didn't resist when you brought me back on board and asked me to come with you. If I loved you properly, I'd leave you alone, Mal… but I can't," she whispered her voice cracking as she caressed his cheek, "because I don't love you enough, either. I love you enough that I'd rather be in your way and in the path of your insults and name-calling and danger than anywhere else in the 'verse."

Tears wracked her body as she stared up into his eyes before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, but as she moved away, he took her chin in his fingers and pressed their lips together, so soft and tender and gentle that it brought fresh tears to Inara's eyes. She let her fingers thread through the short hair at the nape of his neck, whimpering softly into his embrace. He hugged her tightly against him and continued to kiss her as his thumbs brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"Hell, I'll settle for an eighth that much of your love, Inara Serra," he breathed out, their foreheads resting against each others. His eyes opened a sliver and, as they were slipping closed again, he noticed the material of his shirt bunched around his elbows. He opened his eyes and looked down to see that his shirt had slid down his shoulders. Attached to the shirt were Inara's fingers. He looked up at her. "Inara?"

"Mal… please," she whispered, gripping shirt and sliding it further down his arms. "Please… take me to bed?" she asked of him softly and he pressed another kiss to her lips before lifting her into his arms. He moved to the bed, but the sight of the red satiny sheets made him pause at the foot of it.

"Inara… I just… I can't do this here," he said softly and they both knew exactly why, but she did not begin to rant or rave. She turned her almost terrified expression to him and gave him the weakest of smiles.

"Mal…" she whispered, biting her lower lip. "Could you… could you take me to… to your bed?" she asked him and he snapped his open mouth shut as it morphed into a soft smile.

"I should warn you… I don't have satin sheets, Inara. I don't have goose-down pillows or velvet curtains. I've got a worn, but warm blanket and two lumpy pillows."

"And you?" she asked softly. He nodded. "Then, I'll be fine."

He pressed the doors of her shuttle open and stepped through them, out into the hall, along the passage and through the kitchen to the entrance to his quarters. He went down first and stood at the base of the stairs as Inara came down, lifting her from the second step down to the floor of his room. She looked at the bed and smiled.

"I was in it before I decided to go for a drink," he told her, trying to explain its unkempt state, the sheets strewn about the mattress and the blanket hanging off the end. She turned to him and smiled.

"Mal… you talk to much," she whispered and pulled his face to hers, closing her lips over his for a minute. His hands came up to hold her shoulders, slowly moving up to tangle gently in her hair. "Mal?" she murmured ever so softly. He looked into her eyes and took a deep breath. So did she and, when she spoke again, her voice was barely more than a breath of wind. "Would you please make love to me?"

With trembling hands, he tucked his fingers into the collar of her long robe and slid the silky material down her shoulders, letting it pool around her feet as he stared at her, the satiny purple nightgown contrasting beautifully with her skin tone and overall coloring. As he stared at her, she stepped forward and slid the shirt off his torso, resting her hands on his chest while his hands cupped her shoulders. He pressed soft kisses to her collarbone and moved down to the deep vertex of the v-neck gown, kissing his way over the material to one of her round breasts. Her head fell backwards and she sighed. Smiling, he hooked the thin straps around his thumbs and slid them off her shoulders. The sheath skimmed gently down her body and, when it bared her torso to him, he swallowed.

Holding one of the globes gently in his fingertips, he pulled the tip into his mouth and kissed it over and over, making her tremble in his hand and mouth until it shook through her entire body. Letting go of the material, it joined the robe on the floor and he lifted her into his arms and placed her in the center of the bed, crawling over her and straddling her on his knees. He returned his mouth to her chest, letting his thumb flick over the first breast he had attended to while his mouth now catered to the other. The sensations seemed to be flooding her body as she shook beneath him.

"You're stunning," he whispered against her skin before moving a little lower to press kisses all over her abdomen. While his lips fluttered across her skin, his fingers pulled the scrap of lace down her legs and, with them out of the way, he lowered himself further. He could tell by the way she was shivering that she knew what he was about to do, so it thrilled him all the more when the sudden arrival of his lips against her southern entrance made her jolt with pleasure as if caught off guard. He let his tongue flick over the bundle of nerves just near her cavern and she twitched beneath him for several seconds as he continued to lave it. He moved as she moved, sensing through the tilt of her body exactly what it was she wanted him to do.

"Mal," she gasped when his tongue dipped into her channel and curled inside of her, making her groan and whimper against him. She twisted this way and that as he continued to move within her until her cries filled his ears and he ran his thumb up her center while sucking gently on the bundle, the tip between his lips where his teeth could graze across it. He did and she began to cry out his name over and over again as tremors ran back and forth through her body, her walls tightening around his tongue.

"Mal!" she cried out, her fingers searching for his hair to pull him back up, but he finished what he had started and, once the shivers began to subside, he lifted his mouth from her core and kissed his way back up her body, concealing his shock when she grabbed his face and pulled him into a desperate kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. She ended it slowly and smiled up, crawling out from beneath him and telling him to turn over. He gave her a brief look.

"Inara… you don't–"

"Let me, Mal," she asked him gently and he turned over, laying back as she reached for the zip of his pants. Pulling it down gently, she noticed that the slow revealing was of more and more skin. Her eyes lifted to his and he grinned sheepishly.

"Again, I was asleep before I decided–" His comment was cut off when she lowered the material and free his erect shaft from the confines of his pants. He sighed to have it freed, but the sigh became a grunt when she touched the tip with her finger. "Inara…" he whispered, but when he looked at her, her eyes were a little wider than normal and she was biting her lip. "Inara?" he asked again and she looked up at him, turning an amazing shade of scarlet.

"It's, um…" she trailed off and the knowledge of what she was trying to say made it jerk and throb a little more. She let her hand lift it's weight and bit her lower lip again. With a smile, she cupped his balls and felt their weight the same way, watching as Mal's eyes rolled into his head. He looked back down at her and, with a little smile, she pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of his manhood, the sensation both stimulating and incredibly beautiful. "Mal," she whispered and shifted her weight, crawling closer to him.

With a gentle movement, he lifted her thigh over his legs and let her superheated center rest just above his shaft. "Inara," he said gently as he kissed her. "I'm in love you, Inara Serra."

There! He had said it and she wasn't screaming. She smiled and nodded, whispering the words right back at him into his ear before stroking her fingertips across his temple. Slowly, she lowered herself a few inches and took his head into her. She felt stretched.

"It's kind of, um…" she tried again, but the words failed her. Finally, she took a deep breath. "You're large," she gasped out and slid a little lower onto him, watching him close his eyes for a moment. She lifted off of him and slid back down, groaning as his tip touched her inner bundle. Once more, she removed him from herself and, biting her lip, she sank down onto him lower and lower until his lengthy shaft was buried into her to the hilt. The skin of his hips against hers and the feel of his pubis meeting hers was intense. He leaned up and angle himself better and they both gasped at the friction the movement caused.

She was stretched in ever direction as his length filled every space within her. Wrapping his arms around her, he flipped them both over so he was above her. Immediately, he withdrew his entire manhood and rocked back into her, making her scream out. She called his name, several different gods and a number of Chinese phrases as he continued his long and measured strokes until she curled her legs around his waist, tightening them so he could no longer withdraw entirely, while her walls contracted around him, holding him inside of her. Sweat dripped down between her breasts and he leaned over to kiss the beads away, ignoring the sheen of perspiration that covered his entire body.

Inara began to grind against each of his thrusts as the increased in speed and pressure. Soon, Mal was pumping furiously into her, his balls slapping her bottom with each thrust. She began to tense and he felt a familiar tingle somewhere deep in his stomach as he neared his own completion. With a quick move, he hooked his hands under her knees and draped them over his shoulders. This new angle was all it took and his solidity slammed into twice more before she climaxed.

"MAL!" she squealed, her walls tightening in a vice-like grip all around his erection. The friction of half a thrust was all he needed and as he pushed back into the unbelievably tight walls of her sex, he own climax tore through him.

"I LOVE YOU! INARA!" he grunted into her ear as he thrust through his climax, lengthening it for both of them. They cried out and grunted a mite longer until they were so spent, neither had any energy left at all. As he rolled over so as not to crush her, he was about to withdraw, but she forced her walls to clamp onto him and turned with him, keeping him seated deep inside her as they lay there. The sheer bliss of him sheathed inside of her brought about another short orgasm only seconds later, exhausting them both.

Reluctant to withdraw from her, Mal used his toes to grab the sheet and bring it up over them both, pulled Inara's body flush against him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, thigh to thigh. He wrapped an arm around her and held her tight as they drifted towards sleep.

"Mal?" she whispered, running her finger along his jaw line. He smiled at her, his eyes closed.

"Yes?"

"I'm in love with you, too, Malcolm Reynolds." His eyes opened. Maybe sleep could wait a little longer.