Behind the Scenes - Crack!Fic series. A parody about everything that's going wrong with Glee.

This chapter:

Based on: The cut Faberry wedding scene. And the Twitter Riot that it caused along with Ryan Murphy blocking the Faberry trends as spams.

Sources: Tumblr, Twitter.

"Ryan, it's happening again," Ian uneasily said, his eyes trained on the display of his cellphone.

"Which beard do we have to hire for our actors again?" Ryan absently murmered as he was focused on winning this damn tic-tac-toe game. The computer was always one step ahead of him. He needed a strategy, a plan with continuity – ah forget it.

"No, not that. Though I'm still not happy with the choice of Captain Stupid for Dianna, but, oh well." Ian's voice got smaller with the last sentence, but he quickly cleared his throat and continued, "You see, Faberry is trending on Twitter again."

"Sounds familiar. Is it maybe something I should already know about but still ignore?" Ryan narrowed his eyes. He was so close to winning. Just one more cross at the right place.

Ian scratched his neck. "Uh – yes."

"NO!" Ryan yelled, hitting his desk with the palm of his hand.

Ian startled. "What?"

"I just lost! Again! I don't get it, why don't I learn from my mistakes?"

The door to the office flew open, revealing a distressed Brad.

"Heard the news?" he asked Ian and got a grave nod in reply. "How can they know that we cut the scenes? We're not even sure about that."

"I don't think that that is the sole reason for the Faberry Twitter riot," Ian thoughtfully said. Behind him, Ryan had started another round of tic-tac-toe, muttering, "I'll get it right this time."

Brad ran a hand through his hair. "So you mean they noticed the lack of continuity in Quinn's character?"

"Not only that," Ian replied, raising his phone where he was logged in on his Twitter account. "They say that Rachel's character is turning OOC."

"OOC?" Ryan looked up from his computer. "Her decision to marry Finn is completely in character. She's been Finn-obsessed since season one. Ha, and people tell me that I don't know how to keep continuity in my stories."

"Yeah, but what about her dream to get into NYADA? That's all we wrote about in the first few episodes of season 3 and now it's all about the wedding." Brad massaged his forehead. Logic was a painful thing.

"Speaking of the wedding, is Quinn now actually pro or against it?" Ian carefully asked Ryan who cursed under his breath as he had lost another round of tic-tac-toe.

Irritated, he looked up. "I'll decide that when the promo's already out and make a last change one day before the episode airs."

"But," Brad doubtfully said, "won't people notice the missing scene?"

Ryan turned back to his computer screen. "Pah, no one noticed the missing storyline of Beth in season two."

"Well, yes they did. That's actually why you dealt with it in the first few episodes of this season."

Ryan just growled. But maybe that was because he was losing again.

"What do we do now?" Ian asked. Brad just shrugged.

"We do what we do best," Ryan said from behind his computer.

"Ruin Brittana's storyline?" Brad offered.

"Change Quinn's character from crazy to nice to angry to supportive?" Ian added.

"Ruin Rachel's storyline?"

"Cut scenes with no reason though they've already aired in the promo?"

"Ruin the show?"

"Upset the majority of our fandom?"

Ryan stared at them two, his eyes unblinking. Then he absently stroked his bald head.

"We ignore all of them, of course," he said like it had been the right answer from the beginning. "Bitches will still watch our show."

Ian and Brad shared a wary look. In that very moment, the door burst open again, and an irritated Lea strutted in, followed by a nervous Dianna.

The short brunette walked up to Ryan's desk and slammed a stack of papers onto his desk.

"What's that?" the bald man asked in confusion.

"Your crappy script," Lea huffed. "I just needed something to slam on your desk. You know, for dramatic effect."

Ryan simply stared at her.

"Lea honey, we came here for a reason," Dianna gently reminded her from behind.

"Yeah, right," Lea said, crossing her arms. "I'm tired of shooting so many Finchel kissing scenes. I always have to crane my neck so much and it's freaking uncomfortable. Also, I want more Faberry scenes with not-so-subtle undertones of our sexual frustration."

Ryan still stared at her.

"Well, Lea," Ian started, "I'm sorry, but everybody loves Finchel."

"Yeah, and we already have two gay couples on the show," Brad apologeticly said. "Our show is still kinda mainstream, our main characters must remain straight."

Lea was about to give them a rant à la Rachel Berry when Dianna laid a soothing hand on her arm.

"Let me handle this," she softly said in her gentle voice, before she turned to Ryan with a glare.

"Why do you enjoy fucking up my storyline so much, huh? You can't just knock me up and then not deal with it in season two, and you can't turn me into a skunk-"

"Skank."

"Whatever, and make me look I've gone insane and like a baby-stealing maniac. And then you got me accepted in Yale, just so I can die on some road somewhere. And all that crap about magazines saying that we hardly know what we want at such a young age, and two episodes later, you want me to hook up with one of the worst impersonations of a teen jesus?"

The three men stared at her, speechless. Lea stared at her as well, turned on. But Dianna wasn't finished.

"And if I ever have to witness one Finchel kiss again, I swear I'mma puke on set. I'm against their wedding dammit, you can't just cut that scene out! Our Faberry fans need that scene for gifs and fan videos and manips and fanfictions!"

Dianna panted heavily in anger. Lea quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the office.

"Angry trailer sex, now."

Ian and Brad looked after them, somewhat lost before Ryan spoke up again.

"Did she just question my authority? No more screen time for her for the rest of this season."

"Does this mean that Brittany will get more screen time?" Ian asked.

Ryan blinked. "Brittany? Who's Brittany?"

"Santana's girlfriend. She only had one-liners in the last few episodes besides 'Heart'."

"That Asian girl?"

Brad face-palmed and Ian tried to remain patient. "No, though she needs more screen time as well. I mean the blonde girl, which Heather plays."

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Will she get more screen time in later episodes?"

Ryan scoffed. "Of course not, that's reserved for Finchel and other new characters who suddenly appear in the show with no pre-story."

Ian sighed. "Alright."

"Wait," Brad said. "We still haven't solved that Faberry problem."

"It's gonna disappear from itself," Ryan dismissively said, turning back to his computer. He needed to win this damn tic-tac-toe game. Just for once.

"I don't think so," Ian doubtfully said. "Quite on the contrary, I believe it will get bigger."

"We will only react when it's already too late and everything blows up in my face," Ryan muttered.

"Okay. Till then?"

"Till then, we'll keep shoving Finchel into their throats. If they think that season three is hard, just wait for season four. This show has potential for more fucked-up storylines."

"Erm..." Ian unsurely hummed.

"For example that Asian couple. It's too perfect. I'll let the dancer dude cheat on her."

"Okay..." Brad trailed off.

"Oh, and guys?" Ryan added, and the other two men in the room warily replied, "Yeah?"

"Next time Faberry or whatever it is called is trending, just block it as spam. And tell Dianna to stop trolling on Tumblr or fangirling over Lea. They need to look like outstanding heterosexuals."

"Okay." Brad and Ian suppressed a sigh of relief as they tip-toed out of the office.

"ARGH! I LOST AGAIN!"