Our latest case was hard. Not only was it a case of child abuse but it reminded me a bit of my own past.
Forensics has never ceased to amaze me. Not only have I liked my job, but also the people who worked with me. My current supervisor, Catherine Willows, who still had her motherly instinct (her daughter was currently pursuing high school, and she was one proud woman). Nick Stokes and Greg Sanders are like second brothers to me, they're fun on the job and ever since my marriage to their (and my) ex-supervisor Gil Grissom (now my husband), they have taken every opportunity available to tease and get out some information about the man. Newcomer Dr. Ray Langston shares a resemblance to my husband-attentive, thorough, studious, thoughtful and reserved. It kind of reminds me of the way Gil used to go about with his work (now he is in Paris, currently lecturing the young minds at the Sorbonne).
The call had come in around 11:30 pm as we had just begun night shift. Having pulled a double earlier on, I was exhausted. It was a high profile case and was just given top priority by Ecklie. Since all of us were assigned to the case, I hurried along to the parking lot to catch up with the rest of the team. Just in time.
"Hey there, where were you?" asked Catherine, questionably.
I was inwardly smiling, and perhaps it was beginning to show. "Call" I muttered and she shared a knowing smile. Leave it out to the team to figure it would be my husband, calling to find out where I was.
We got into our vehicles-I was riding with Nick and Greg in Nick's Denali, while Catherine was driving Ray in her's. I settled down in the passenger seat after giving Greg the 'death-glare' which sent him scrambling to the back.
It was a long drive (it took an hour to reach our crime scene as it was located in the outskirts of Vegas. Nick and Greg took the opportunity to ask me about my 'call' (I suspect they knew it was Gil).
"So Sara, who was it on the phone that you had to answer so urgently" asked Greg, giving me the puppy dog eyes that he reserved for such occasions.
"Yeah, Sar who was it? And how come you don't answer the phone as sweetly as you answered that call" said Nick. I knew they were up to something.
"That was my husband, if you must know. He was wondering if you two were taking good care of me. He was just surprised at the way I was pulling doubles. You know he hadn't heard from me in a long time"
"Yeah, we get it. If something happened to you, he would personally come to kill us, hide our bodies and get away with it" said Greg sarcastically. It was true. Gil had the tendency to be protective of me. It was no surprise when he had actually threatened the guys to take care of myself.
We finally reached the crime scene. No dead bodies, as we had come to know from the officer in charge. It was a clear case of Child Abuse, one that did not sit well in my books. I had always been a sucker at such cases; they would leave me emotionally weary. But it was a long time and it was time to face it.
Brass met us at the scene. The case involved two children who were molested and abused by a stripper babysitter, a step mother and her army general husband. The kids were in bad shape. By the time I had recovered from my initial shock, Catherine had already begun assigning us various jobs. She and Ray would be covering the interior of the house, Greg had already covered the perimeter. Nick was left with me to attend to the kids and to find out what we could about the neighbors.
As we finished questioning the neighbors we drove towards Desert Palms Hospital, to check out on the two kids. I felt a dull pain in my heart when I saw the two victims- bruises and wounds of every sought covered most of their bodies, they were frail from lack of nourishment and scared. It reminded me of my own abusive father. I was pulled out of my thoughts as Nick tried to gain the confidence of the two kids.
"Hi there, my name if Nick and this is Sara" Nick was introducing us to the kids. But even them I found the kids trembling just at the sight of us.
"Are you with the police?" asked Hazel, the younger of the two children.
"Not exactly, we find out the truth. We solve crimes and we would like to find out who did this to you" replied Nick.
"I don't think so" said Kayla, the older kid. It shocked me when she said this, but the reason became clear when she continued. "We keep telling everyone what happened to us, but all they do is shrug it off and pretend as if nothing really happened. And then is happens again"
The kids have been through a lot. "I promise I will end this. We want to know what happened to you", I said and even though I could see reluctance in their eyes, I found myself listening to a story similar to my own.
Hazel laid her head on my shoulder and started telling me what really went on at their house- Their babysitter molested and raped them almost every day in front of their stepmother (at the mention of this Nick suddenly got up and left the room. I looked at his direction to find him gone.), her father was a drunk and abused them. They were treated like crap, and no one noticed this. The clinic where they were usually treated thought these to be self inflicted or little accidents that happened at home. I was shocked.
As the two girls slept, I went to the doctor. This is where I found Nick, collecting the reports of the two girls. He looked shaken and as we headed back to the labs I asked him about it.
"Nick, are you alright? Is something wrong?" I hoped he would open up to me, instead he mumbled "Nothing" and continued to drive.
I always knew in my heart when something's not right, and I vowed to find out what it was.
Back at the labs I headed towards the layout rooms where the rest of the gang was rumored to be last. Nick had rushed off to the locker rooms after leaving me with the reports. I carried these to Ray who was working on evidence found at the scene. As I entered, he looked up and acknowledged me before saying,
"This should not happen to anybody"
I nodded. Some people in this world would do anything to obtain the joy and satisfaction gotten from their crimes. I placed the evidence on the table and began going through it with Ray.
It had been 2 hours and we spent most of the night going through evidence from this case, before a proper arrest could be made. But in the end we got the parents and their babysitter. Greg had managed to process the house and collect DNA suitable enough for the D.A. Atleast we can ensure that they will remain behind bars to dwell on their wrong.
I found Nick in the break room, emotionally broken. He had not done much to help with the case. When he had gone to PD to interrogate the parents, he had gotten so violent that Brass had so trouble controlling him. Or so I heard. His behavior towards Hodges when he had gotten the DNA results of this case and what I had noticed earlier at the scene was enough to know that something was wrong. He had reacted in the same way on similar cases and something was bothering him. So I decided to find out.
"Hey, Nick. What's up?" I asked him, noticing the sudden change in his demeanor.
"Nothing" he whispered.
"Nothing, Nick. I know that something is wrong Nicky. Please tell me, what's wrong"
"Its none of your business"
This was too much. Never before has Nick shunned me off or ever told me that it was not my business. I really can't let go of the fact that something is troubling him, so I decided to continue, even though I knew I would get the brunt of it.
"I know there's something wrong, Nick. Your behavior towards this case and many others like this is noticeable. You jumped at the parents, blown up at Hodges and even ignored me the whole case. What is it, Nick?"
Before I knew it, he was screaming at me, the whole lab had come to a stand still.
"WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW, SARA? IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS. NOBODY KNOWS MY STORY,ABOUT MY ALL THING IT WAS LIKE EVERY OTHER CHILDHOOD, PROBABLY EVEN YOURS. HELL, YOU'VE NEVER HAD YOUR BABYSITTER EVER MOLEST YOU BEFORE.."
Catherine had now entered the room with Ray and Greg and was looking questionably at me. Greg looked in shocked. Ray was emotionless, as usual. Nick continued.
"MY PARENTS SHRUGGED IT OFF LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. SURE THEY TOOK CARE OF ME, BUT THEY MADE ME FEEL LIKE SHIT, LIKE THE DIRTY ONE. YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THE CONDITION AT MY HOUSE. PEOPLE TAKE PITY ON ME FOR WHAT HAD HAPPEN. I WAS ONLY 9. I HATE BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY. YOU WOULD THINK I HAD A BETTER LIFE , COMPARED TO YOUR PEACEFUL CHILDHOOD, TOPPER IN EVERYTHING, HUH?"
Nick was glowering at me. So that was his story. Peaceful childhood, my ass. No one knew of it except my husband. So this was what's troubling him.
"You need to calm down" said Catherine. Wrong choice.
"YEAH RIGHT! YOU HAD THE MOST LUXURIOUS LIFE , WITH MONEY AND EVERYTHING. YOU NEVER FACED ANYTHING LIKE I DID. YOU NEEDN'T HAD TO WORRY. WHY, YOU WERE TREATED LIKE A LITTLE QUEEN. ALL OF YOU'LL WERE."
Now I had had it. This would have to stop. What I was about to say next had hurt me the most , but I had managed to let it go time and again. I had to face it ultimately.
"You think you're the only one with problems, do you? We all faced the difficult times in our life. Catherine had lost her Eddie, you think that's nothing? Why, we all lost Warrick, didn't we. It hurt us the most."
I could see him glaring at me, the mention of Warrick was more than a distant memory, his death still pained us. But I cut Nick again before he could start.
"How could you think my childhood as peaceful. You think you are the only one affected by such cases. Hell, these cases give me more that the creeps. Makes me think of my own childhood, anything but peaceful"- I could see Nick's questionable look as I continued.
"It was anything but peaceful. Why do you think I ran away from here after the Natalie incident, huh? The verbal beating between Catherine and I which landed my suspension. My DUI. Why? I was fed up, wherever I went, my past caught up with me in the form of ghosts and memories. It was terrible. I was abused by my father everyday of my life. He used to abuse and beat both me and my father. The fights, the yellings, I used to think it was the way everyone lived. After my mother killed my father I realized it wasn't. My mother was institutionalized shortly after. My brother was a junkie. I became a foster kid, whose father was stabbed by her mother. It always grew tough for me and it still is. I can understand Natalie's case and this and I know it is hard but sometimes you have to forget and forgive"
I ran out of the room. I could not take it anymore. Grissom was a comfort on this job and I learnt it all through my marriage with him. I didn't want the pity that would have come if I had told everyone. Gil helped me through it, and I wished he was here.
I was sitting in the locker room, where I had currently taken refuge. I was crying, but I knew it had to be done. It was not the complete story, but for now it would have to do. I heard someone enter the locker room.I was facing away from the door.
"Sara?" It was Nick.
"Sara, are you alright?" And Catherine.
I probably figured that the whole group had come, I got up to collect my things.
"Sara. I am so sorry. I did not know." said Nick
"You wouldn't have know. Look you need to calm down while taking up such cases. They hurt you sometimes but you will get through them eventually" I said as I turned to face them.
"Your crying" leave it to Greg to state the obvious.
"It's hard having gone through all this, time and again it keeps coming back at you. If it wasn't for Gil I would still be that emotionally unstable and destructive Sara that I had been" I replied.
Nick pulled me in a hug. "I'm sorry Sara, I know that I have hurt you. Will you forgive me? Please?"
"Forgiven" I replied, returning his hug.
"Since we are all friends again, why don't I take you all for a special surprise, my treat?". Leave it to Catherine to say the golden words. As shift had just ended and we left, I could help but think-We are a family. A family that always stays together. A family with pasts that could be dealt with, and new beginnings that could be savored and shared.