Be my Valentine

Disclaimer: I don't own... well... anything. Not Crowley, not Castiel... not even Charlie...

Summary: Dean is waiting for Castiel to appear on Valentines day but Castiel isn't showing up... Destiel.

A sigh runs through Dean's lips a he observes himself in the mirror. Everything seems almost grotesque normal. His hair, clothing and look are all the same as usual. And yet there's something different today, something in his eyes. The nervousness and the anticipation in his eyes, that wasn't there ever before. He never before even thought about doing something for someone on Valentines day so this is all new to him. But he got the best he came up with. It's not much, but it's simple and romantic, at least in his opinion. He couldn't ask Sam about it so he went to Charlie and she gave him her OK, this is enough for him even though Charlie is better at sweet-talking girls. After all, you can say that Castiel has a very female side. With him leaving, the bunker will be completely empty. Sam is out with some girl he met in the library, Charlie is nailing some girl and Kevin, well, Dean has no idea if he's with a girl too or if he's in some bar drinking the hell out of himself. In that case Dean probably will get a call in the morning, some barkeeper telling him to come pick the young man up. Wouldn't be the first time. With a last look at himself he forces down the feeling of, dare he say it, fear that's battling his stomach like it's third world war. He can't remember feeling this nervous, not even as he has his first time with 5-years-older Lindsey and he desperately tries to stay calm. There he was nervous but not like this. He shakes his head forcefully and grabs the picnic basket with the blanket and the food in it. Firmly he throws the door of the bunker shut behind him and places the picnic basket on the passengers seat before driving up the hill under which the bunker lies. He already made sure that there's a nice spot so he just has to set up everything perfectly. Or well, as perfectly as he manages. He spreads out a simple light-red and white blanket right next to a tree which gives the whole picture a nice touch but still allows them to see the stars. Castiel loves the stars. He loves looking up into the sky and telling Dean stories about heaven, god, angels and the stars. Next he places 2 beer on the blanket and takes then his seat on it after putting pie and chocolate onto it too. He glances at the flowers that are still in the basket. They're pretty simple, a couple of blue and salmon roses and some red ones, more red ones than the others. He shakes his head and decides to wait until Cas is here to hand those to him. Clearing his throat he looks up at the sky,

'' Hey Cas I uh... you know...'' He breaks off to scratch his neck awkwardly. They don't have a date after all, maybe he should just go back to the bunker and shut himself away with a movie and some Jack Daniels. They're not dating at all so this is a shot into the dark. Castile could react happy to his little love-proof or he could react bad to it and reject Dean. And, even if it may sound stupid, he rather keeps up the hide and seek play instead of hearing out of Castiel's mouth something like 'I don't care for you'. He's not sure that this is something he could take too. And honestly, there's a lot more he had to handle in the past. But alone the thought of Castiel rejecting him feels just... terrible. He looks around on the blanket again to make sure everything is fine before turning his attention back to the sky,

'' I just wanna say that I got a surprise down here so if you got the time... maybe you could just pop up...'' He looks around silently for some time but there's no rustling of feathers that would hint on the angel's arrival. A sting of pain runs through his body, a wave of insecurity hits him. Maybe Castiel doesn't want to get down to Dean. Maybe he knows what he has planned and is avoiding him now. And honestly who would blame him? Dean's not the easiest person to be with. Being his friend is already enough of a pain in the ass, being in any closer relationship must be hell just to imagine it. He shakes his head, he's busy, that's all. At least that's what he hopes.

'' Hey Cas, I know you're probably super busy doing your uh, angel stuff but... maybe you could come down here anyway...?'' He looks around again but still there's only silence around him, no sign of anything hearing him.

'' Okay... Well I'll just wait here so... if you got a free minute... you know. '' He settles a little more comfortable with his arms crossed behind his head and his back resting more or less relaxed on the ground while he keeps his gaze on the stars. At some point his thoughts start drifting off. Why is he even feeling this way for the angel? It's not like it was love on first sight or any of this crap. In the beginning he hated this feathery dick. Everything on Castiel was annoying him. The way he looked at Dean and could tell abruptly what the human felt, the way he was threatening Sam, the way he worked against Dean while he knew exactly that Dean was trying to help. The way he just was seemed to be enough to set him off. But in the end the small bit of interest he felt towards the angel won over the hate. After all, despite everything else, this man is still an angel. How often do you meet a frikkin angel? Their friendship surely isn't easy. There are far too many betrayals and secrets, Dean knows that. They probably should be talking more about things than they are but next to the pain and the betrayal there is so much more. And this is the reason Dean wants to try it. They separate more often than they should but in the end they always fight with each other instead of against. The hunter is aware of the fact that it won't be easy to built up something deeper than friendship with Castiel but he rather goes down trying instead of not trying at all. At some point he closes his eyes. Minutes pass and change to hours. As he opens his eyes again it's already getting dark, the sun started to set at the horizon. As he got here it was somewhat in the middle of the day. His eyes narrow as he sits up again, his hands in his lap,

'' Hey Cas, it's me again... uhm... I'm waiting here a couple of hours now already and... I know that I'm probably being annoying by now but...'' He breaks off again. The food wasn't touched by any insects, what a surprise. His finger softly glides over the heart-shaped box with chocolates in it,

'' You know Cas... it's Valentines Day... or night... and I got ya chocolate and burgers and beer... even a couple of flowers so... could you come down here for a moment? ...Please? '' Another hour he spends with silently sitting on the blanket and waiting for the angel to appear. Two hours and the night completely set, everything that's still giving light are the stars and the moon on the sky. A small, pained smile comes to Dean's lips as he turns his head away from the sky as if to keep Castiel from seeing him actually looking hurt. He should have known that this wouldn't work out. He should have known. But he still tried. He got himself into his mess of feelings, now he has to deal with everything that's on it.

'' ...Maybe not... Alright I got it...'' With a sigh he tries to push away the stabbing pain in his heart. Who would have thought it would actually hurt like this. This feeling of rejection. Well, maybe he's not made to be in love, to have a functioning relationship. If even Cas is ignoring him, this surely means something. Maybe he's just too messed up. He must be a lot more messed up than he thought. Another sting of pain running through his chest drives something similar to a sob from his lips. At a wave of anger he grabs the chocolate off the ground in the attempt to throw is far away from him but something stops him from doing so. Why should he even be mad? He should have known this was a bad idea from the beginning. He never managed to really fall in love. He thought he did with Lisa but it turned out that she was more of a hideout. Something he could hide from himself. She could offer him real love, he could offer her at least something similar to it but that's it. But with Castiel it's different. He doesn't has to change for him, he can be who he is. With all his mistakes. And Castiel still chooses to stay at his side. So why was he now stupid enough to even try to destroy this friendship they have? For his happiness? To satisfy the need in himself to kiss Castiel? Just because he loves him, maybe, it gives him no right to screw around with their friendship, with Cas' life. He has no right to put anything in danger just because he feels the need to fall in love with an angel. After all, he is just some messed up guy. Cas is an angel for crying out loud. He's not even halfway worthy to be with him. Shaking his head he puts the chocolate back into the picnic basket and grabs then the pie-

'' Dean. '' He stops in his attempt to put the pie back in and accidentally drops it as he hears a familiar voice behind him. Slowly he turns around, completely ignoring the fallen pie. His eyes meet with deep blue ones as he sees Castiel standing by close, a look on his face he can't identify. Awkwardly he looks down at the mess of 'meant to be romantic' articles and sighs,

'' Cas. '' He mumbles, not daring to look up at the angel in front of him. His heart is pounding in his chest, he hasn't been this nervous in, like, forever. Why is he here now? To laugh at him? To tell him that this is stupid?

'' I'm sorry...- '' Dean's eyes close. Here it comes. The 'I'm sorry but I don't feel the same' speech. Funny that he's now the one hearing it. If the women he told those words felt just similar to what he feels now, he really feels sorry for ever saying this. If he could, he would go back in time and convince himself to lie down on his damn bed and sleep through the whole day. To forget the stupid idea of doing this picnic. It would make things a lot more easy.

'' -I didn't get here sooner. I was not sure... if it would be appropriate to bring a present. And I still needed to find out what to bring. '' The hunter's eyes snap open and his head rucks up to look at the angel. Castiel pulls a small box with chocolates from his pocket and holds it out for Dean,

'' I think the proper words would be: Happy Valentines Day Dean. '' The hunter just stares silently at the angel for a few moments. His mind suddenly seems to be very slow at processing what is happening around him. Does this mean, Castiel is aware of what Valentines Day means and he wants to share this day with Dean? As in, date? Slowly a smile creeps up on his lips, his heart beating faster in his chest. He sits back down on the blanket and pats onto the spot besides him which Castiel soon takes. As soon as Castiel sits Dean grabs the flowers and the chocolate and holds them out to Castiel,

'' Uh, here...'' They exchange a look before handing each other their small gifts. They eat more or less in silence, or well, Dean eats in silence. Castiel spends most time with babbling more about stars and their meaning. Normally it would annoy him at some point but not today. Today, everything seems to be almost perfect. Almost. Something is still missing for the night to be perfect. Dean looks at Castiel another moment, taking in his posture. The angel looks completely relaxed, his body is sightly slumped and on his face nothing but peace. Dean cocks his head to the side as he notices how Castiel's eyes glimmer in the light the moon and the stars throw at them. It makes him truly beautiful, and it takes a lot out of Dean to not blush. He's not some schoolgirl after all. He's a grown up man so he'll keep control... eventually... With a closer look though, he throws the word control out of his head,

'' Cas. '' The angel abruptly stops talking and turns his head to look at the hunter next to him, a certain curious look in his eyes. Dean gives him a small, yet honest smile and places then his hand on the back of Castiel's head. Almost hesitating Dean pulls Cas' head closer while meeting him in the middle to allow their lips to meet in a gentle kiss. At first Castiel's eyes widen and his body grows rigid for a moment. Dean notices this but keeps his mouth firmly on the other while tangling his fingers a little in Castiel's hair. He smiles into the kiss as he feels the angel's lips moving shyly against his own ones. Dean moves his other hand onto Castiel's cheek while sitting up on his knees to allow himself to deepen the kiss slightly, his tongue darting out to ask for entrance.

As Castiel's lips part slightly and Dean's tongue slips into his hot mouth, he gives a small grunt while allowing Dean to explore his mouth carefully. Castiel's insides grow warm, a tingling inside his stomach causing him to place his hands hesitating on Dean's chest. So new, so unfamiliar, so wonderful. Slowly the angel allows his tongue to meet Dean's and a groan from the hunter makes him halt. The small fear that he's done something wrong only lasting for a few seconds as he feels Dean almost forcing his tongue to move against his again. The feeling of release takes place in Castiel's body as he picks up on copying Dean's movements.

As Dean's lungs scream for oxygen, he slowly breaks the kiss but leans his forehead against Cas', his eyes not opening once as he smiles,

'' Happy Valentines Day Cas...''

A little late Valentines day fic but I very spontaneously started writing this in the afternoon yesterday. I got my inspiration from this lovely picture here:

dysphoriass. tumblr image/110777145000

Just remove the spaces or if me putting in the link doesn't work, get onto my Tumblr, I reblogged it. The link to my dashboard you find on my profile.

Hope you enjoyed this small fluff, leave a Review and tell me what you think :)