DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters, places, etc.

**Author's Note** Yes, this one is very similar to "Bella's Chance at Happiness." Aside from the fact that Jacob is actually a wolf in this one, and this one is set from the moment Bella is deciding whether or not she should make a move on Jacob; but when she sees the car, and all that stuff. Anyway, the point is, I had a request for an entire Jacob POV fic for BellaXJacob, so, I figured, I'd post it.
If you review, please be kind. I know I've already done BellaXJacob, but, yeah.
Please enjoy to those who requested. :)

We pulled up in front of Bella's house, and we stayed there for a moment, side by side. Waiting. She looked as though she might be contemplating something - was she going to ask me something? Was she going to tell me something? But she wasn't looking up at me, her eyes were hung lower. I wanted to know what she was thinking, she seemed to have forgotten about me for the moment. What should I do? Should I speak, should I move?I was holding her in my arms, not tightly enough, never tightly enough, but it was strange. She was stiff. Then I felt it. It was so sudden, so soft, so unexpected. Her lips on my shoulder blade, pressing gently against my warm skin. Her hands were touching me, softly, carefully, waiting for my reaction. She knew what it would be. I waited for her to take her lips back, and I pulled her harshly away from me. Too harshly, possibly, because she looked up at me with sudden fear in her eyes. I just looked down at her, I wondered what my own expression would look like. But I didn't care. I didn't care how I must have looked - if I was desperate, or needy, or damn near pathetic, I didn't care.

Bella's lips had been against my bare skin, pressing down on me, wanting a reaction from me.
I didn't have time to think about why she had kissed me. I didn't want time to think about it. I just wanted to kiss her. My hands acted quicker than my mind, because they pulled her forward again, and I felt my face bend down to meet hers, my mouth drawn to hers without consent. I kissed her roughly, waiting for a response, but getting nothing. She kept her lips tightly shut, so I shut mine too and just pressed, not wanting to move them away. I felt her hands still lingering on my chest, still softly and cautiously. Then I stopped.
I pulled my face away, looking down at her intently. Her eyes were still scrunched closed, and her mouth was pressed in a hard line. Was she thinking about the blood-sucker? Did she think she was still betraying him?

I wanted to kiss her again. I wanted to pull her close to me, to hold her and to smell her, but my mind screamed at me to keep my hands to myself. That was probably the best thing to do, since she just looked up at me, a little timid, her eyes wide with shock.
"Jacob," she breathed. She said my name in a way nobody else could. I didn't know what it was exactly, but, all I knew is that it made me crazy. I wanted to push her down with a kiss again, but I really had to control myself. I noticed her hands were creeping away, so I put my own hands up to her wrists, holding them there against my hot chest. She was breathing heavy and her hands were trembling, but she didn't move them away.
"Bella, I -" but she stopped me. Probably for the best. Who knows what nonsense could have come out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly. Sorry wasn't exactly the word I was wanting to hear right now. Sorry wasn't something I wanted her to be, especially because sorry usually came with regret. And if she regretted what just happened, well, I would be screwed. I was barely controlling myself as it was.
"For what, Bells?" I asked, my own voice seemed louder by comparison. She looked up at me with tearful eyes; was she going to start crying again? She seemed to cry a lot these days, and well, I couldn't blame her. She'd lost the love of her life - even if he was a stinking leech, and now she was being tracked by some sadistic vampire. Because of that stinking leech. It was a lot to take in. But now, I think she was crying because of me. I hated the thought of that.
"I'm sorry," she choked out again, and I couldn't help but pull her up against my chest again. I noticed that her face was close to where it had been before, when her lips had kissed me. Did Bella know the effect she had on me?
"Bells, don't cry," I tried to sooth her, but she just broke away from the embrace, and looked at me with guilty eyes. She wiped the tears away with her sleeve, and tried to sit up straight. She didn't speak for a long time, she sort of just, sat there. Like she was intently thinking. What else could I do but wait? I didn't want to talk in case I made her upset again, so it was better for me to just sit there like an idiot, replaying that kiss in my head. After all, it might be the only kiss I ever get from Bella.

"Thank you for everything, Jacob," she said suddenly, shocking me out of my imagination. Her voice was so quiet I was shocked I had even heard her. She tried to smile, but it was weak.
"You don't have to thank me for anything, Bells," I said, smiling back at her. She just looked down at her lap, fiddling with her hands absent-mindedly. I wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers.
"No, I do, I'm, really grateful - to the rest of the pack, as well," she added, looking up at me suddenly. I nodded silently, not knowing what to say to that. After all, we weren't just doing it for her. We were protecting our boundaries. That's what we were born to do. I was just happy that I could protect Bella; even if it meant going days without sleep.
"But I'm especially grateful to you, Jake. You've become, someone very important," she said slowly, as though she was struggling to say it. I liked to hear those words slip from her mouth; that I was important. I'd never be as important as the leech, though. I knew that. I knew I could never take his place, even if I tried. Even if Bella let me try. Some dreams just don't come true.
"You know you're important to me, Bells," I said, looking at her sadly. She wasn't just important, she was special. She was everything to me. But I wasn't all of that to her, I know that. She just sat there, as though she didn't understand, looking at me. Was she waiting for more?
She was.
I leant in again and let my lips find hers; my eyes were closed far before I reached her face. In reality I was terrified to kiss her again, dreading the moment I'd feel her push me away and run from me, crying, rejecting, horrified at what I'd done to her. I let my lips linger on hers for just a moment, before I broke away and opened my eyes. She opened her eyes to me again, her beautiful eyes, staring at me.
She didn't look mad, or upset with me. She did look sad. But, then again, she always did. We got out together, and I walked around to her. She slipped her hand into mine instantly, her tiny hand buried within mine. She didn't look at me for my reaction, but she did speak.
"Will you be watching tonight?" she asked. She seemed uncertain again. I nodded, and bit my lip.
"Yes, I will," I replied. She clucked her tongue.
"You need some rest, Jacob Black," she said, trying to tease me, punching my lightly in the arm with her free hand. I just smiled; she still seemed to jittery to pull off being comfortable with me right now. She'd better not try to pass that kiss off as 'something that never happened,' because I know that's something I won't be forgetting anytime soon. Even if she didn't want to talk about it right now, I need to know what she wants from me. And even though I could just sit around and wait for her forever; I was anxious to know what her decision was.

She'd kissed me, she'd let me kiss her.
But we'd talk about that another time.
"It's alright, I don't mind watching over you," I replied to her joke, and I let out a short laugh. I didn't want her to think she wasn't funny.
"But really, you're probably so tired," she said, looking up at me with concern. I felt her hand grip mine tighter before she let go, opening the front door and letting me inside. I checked quickly, sniffing slightly. No vampires here. She hovered by the lounge, perching herself against it as she watched me check through the bottom floor.
"It's safe," I told her, smiling.
"Upstairs?" she asked, looking a little uncertain. Although I would have been able to smell anything from down here, I climbed the stairs regardless. I wanted to put her mind at ease. She followed me up, hovering behind me unnaturally.
"It's good," I told her, checking through half-heartedly. I would have smelt it by now. Those blood-suckers really know how to stink up a place. She let out a sigh, and I felt her hand take mine again.
"Thank you," she said quietly, and she took a step closer. She leant her head softly against my chest, and I felt my heartbeat quicken. Could she hear it? I could feel her breathe against my skin, faster than usual. Did she know what this was doing to me? Did she care?
As if she'd read my mind, she backed away from me and smiled bashfully.
"I should get going," I said. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should get going? Seriously, I didn't want to go anywhere! I was deathly tired, but Bella sure knew how to keep me awake. If I left now, I'd probably miss the chance at talking about that kiss forever.
"Oh," she replied, and she sounded as though she was disappointed. Before she had a chance to say anything else, I spoke again:
"Well I'll stay if you want, I mean, it's alright," it all came out in a hurried sentence. She just watched me speak, and nodded.
"Sure, stay," she said. I shot a look to her bedroom. She must have noticed, since as soon as I did, she pulled my arm and led me back down to the bottom floor and into the lounge room, where we sat side by side on the couch, watching a turned off television screen.

"So, that, uh, kiss," I began, but I hadn't thought of a way to finish that sentence. She seemed to have been expecting more, since she didn't reply right away.
"Yeah," she said after a while, and we didn't look at each other. I could tell she was avoiding looking at me, but, I think I was doing a pretty good job doing the same.
"So, we, um,"
"Yeah," she said again, before I had a chance to stop. I dared a glance at her, and she must have noticed, because she looked up to meet my eyes. She looked uncomfortable, and if I had to take a guess at what she was thinking, I'd say it would have been:
Run!
"I just-"
"I was just-" we both stopped. She let out a long sigh, and I scratched my head. What to say. She just kept cutting me off.
"Bella -"
"I'm sorry, Jacob. I just, I don't know what came over me. You're so good to me, and, I just, I really appreciate it," she cut me off again, of course. She was trying to explain it, but, really that made no sense at all to me.
"What did it mean?" I asked. I dreaded the answer, knowing it would be bad news for me; knowing that it was an accident, it was a mistake. I really didn't want it to be.
"I don't know," she whispered after a while. She didn't know. I didn't know. Did anybody know what was going on here. I thought if anyone should know, it would be Bella. She started it all, she'd kissed me.
"Why did you?" I asked quietly. I suppose she wouldn't know that either.
"I want to make you happy," she said softly. Make me happy? She was the most unhappy person I'd ever met; she should be trying to make herself happy before anyone else.
"What about you?" I asked. Of course, I wanted her to make me happy. I wanted that more than anything. But I wanted to make her happy as well. And I didn't think she wanted that. "What about me?" she asked. Sometimes she made no sense to me at all.
"Your feelings. Do I make you happy?" I asked. Why did I keep asking things that I did not want to hear the answer to. I really was stupid sometimes. She shifted uncomfortably, was she edging away from me?
"You do make me happy," she responded. I knew the answer to every other question. Why can't we be together, why can't you love me. Every answer was the same, and it all ended with the bloodsucker. It was all because of him.
How much more time would Bella need before she would be, well, Bella again? She'd come so far these past months, she'd almost gone back to her normal self, and I almost had her. I'd had her in my arms, I'd been kissing her, she'd been kissing me, that was everything I'd ever dreamt of. And one simple memory of a disgusting leech was stopping my dreams from coming true.
I knew I sounded really selfish. But I hated him. For what he'd done to Bella, for what he was still doing to Bella.
"Do I make you happy enough, for that?" I asked then. No. I suppose I probably didn't. She didn't reply for a very long time, but she shifted her head and rested it gently on my shoulder, her hair tickling my bare skin.
"I don't know," she said at last. She just needed time. And we had all the time in the world to work this out.
"Alright," I replied, sliding an arm up to hold her. I wanted to kiss her again, my lips were tingling at the memory of it, but I didn't dare move my face any closer to her. Being here for her would be enough for now, for this very moment, I couldn't go too fast or else I would screw everything up. I had to have control. She walked me to the door when I left. I'd decided to go home and take a rest before tonight. I was intent on watching her during the night-times; I couldn't bear the thought of her being attacked in the middle of the night while I was down in La Push snoring. I couldn't let anything happen to her.

When I got home I crashed right away. I was extremely tired, and even though Bella had been able to keep me awake cleverly with the kiss, I was much too exhausted to stay up any longer.
I'm fairly sure I dreamt of the kiss, or maybe I had just been thinking about it as soon as I woke up, and that was all that was left in my mind. It was dark when I did actually wake up, and the lights in my house were switched on. What time was it? I got up quickly and strode out into the kitchen. It was late, I was late for my shift to watch Bella. I ran out the door, phasing as soon as I did, and made my way to Bella's. I still couldn't stop thinking about the kiss, and I heard Embry laugh. Great, night duty with Embry - this would be fun. Not.

What was vampire girl thinking?! Embry thought with a laugh. I growled out loud, not wanting to talk about it. This was something that really sucked about being part of a pack. They had to know everything.
Oh shut up, Embry I replied, rolling my eyes.
Come on, Jacob. You haven't even imprinted on her, why are you wasting your time? he asked, suddenly coming into view. I growled at him. I really disliked this talk. Suddenly we heard Sam's voice.
Hey, you two, can we please focus on the task at hand. You're supposed to be looking out for the vampire, okay? And Jacob, please stop replaying that kiss in your head - we don't need to see it!
Where was Sam, wasn't he supposed to be resting tonight?
No, he's bordering tonight. Embry interrupted. Did anyone else actually think their own thoughts, aside from me?
We all do and you know it Jacob, now come on. Bella isn't going to protect herself. Sam said with a growl.
There's no sign of the leech coming anywhere close to here, what about the borders? Embry asked.
Nothing guys. Paul suddenly answered. Border patrol as well, huh.
She's backed off a lot, she's planning something though. Sam thought.
And Jacob - kudos. Paul scoffed, and I growled again.
I really did not want to talk about Bella tonight. The night seemed to go on like that, general talk until I accidentally let my thoughts slip and someone would make a wise crack about me and Bella. Then I heard it. The echoing scream from Bella's bedroom. I winced, wanting to block my ears. I knew it was just a nightmare, but it scared me just as much as her being attacked would. Except there was nothing I could do about the nightmares. I could kill a vampire, but I couldn't stop what was in her head. We all stayed silent until the screaming stopped. I wanted to phase back and comfort her - a thought that was met with laughter from a few of the guys - but decided against it. Bella wouldn't want me climbing into her room, half naked in the middle of the night. That would probably be just as scary for her.

She fell asleep again soon enough, and with permission from Sam, I phased back into a human and climbed up to her window to check on her. I wouldn't wake her, I just wanted to make sure she was okay. I slid the window open as slowly as I could, and fell onto her floor with a soft thud. She was tossing and turning, her brow pushed together, and she was mumbling something. I leant in closer.
"Jacob," she said, suddenly so clear I feared she'd woken up. But her eyes were still closed, her breathing still steady. I jumped back regardless, from shock if anything, and waited for her to speak again. "My Jacob," she went on to say, and I shrugged to myself. My Jacob, huh? Great, wait till the guys hear about this. Just more fuel for the fire. I leant in to smooth her hair down softly, I wanted to kiss her, but I resisted the temptation. I brought my hand back, and climbed back out through the window, phasing as soon as I hit the ground.

Oooh, my Jacob! Embry put on a girly voice, and I had to laugh.
That voice suits you. I remarked.
I wonder what kind of dream she was just having? Paul said slyly, and he and Embry roared with laughter.
Was she okay? Sam asked, interrupting the laughter.
Yeah, she was alright. I replied, grimacing to myself. Aside from her obviously dreaming about me. I wanted to know what she was dreaming of now. I hoped I wasn't part of her nightmares.
By the sounds of it, she wasn't having a nightmare, Jake! Embry joked, and Paul laughed.
Maybe you should ask her about them? Paul retorted. I just growled.

Why did Bella have to go and dream about me like that? Why did Bella do anything that she did, if she didn't want me. But, I suppose, she had no idea what she was doing to me, really. And she couldn't control her dreams. Still, I smiled at the thought of her saying my name.