Damn this weather, was all Hyde thought after removing another layer of clothing. People in Wisconsin were used to colder weather, but not when it's below 8 and snowstorms are almost always a constant. He peeled away another button up from himself as he bit Jackie's lips to keep their connection, smirking as he felt the petite girl's hands tighten in his curls. Jackie always said Kelso was all humping no substance, but Hyde had a style, passion, a heat of romance- which Hyde will deny before kissing her again- that always seemed to make her weak at the knees.
He put his hands back to her slim waist, eager to take off the turtleneck Jackie kept on during school. It's not like she looked bad in it- Jackie would make anything look good- but he'd rather see her than some sweater she got as compensation for her parents vacationing in Paris without her. And no, the seeing her part was not a romantic thought, not in the slightest. Hyde took his hands to grab the hem of the sweater and pull it over Jackie's head, taking little but subconsious notice that the shirt underneath wasn't like what Jackie would wear. The material felt too broken in, too loose, too... used. But it didn't really matter, not at all. When he brought his face back to join Jackie's, his blue eyes momentarily slipped open- just to see her- and was surprised to see the shirt his girlfriend was wearing.
Time froze- or at least Hyde did- as he stood back and took in the sight of Jackie wearing his Zeppelin shirt he gave her on her birthday. Normally Hyde would wait until Jackie would point out the fact that he was still wearing his sunglasses before taking them off, but today he put the shades to the side. Hyde ran his hand through his hair as a silent and bemused "Huh" escaped his lips. Jackie's eyebrows rose, clearly impatient and expecting her boyfriend to resume making out with her.
"Steven," Jackie elongated the name with her eyes still closed, "aren't you going to kiss me again? I mean, I know you don't really like doing what's expected of you, but you're the one who invited me here for sex this time." Hyde just stood still. Jackie opened her eyes- clearly frustrated- to look into Hyde's, noticing the glossed over effect they had. The brunette's eyebrows furrowed in concern as she brought her hand to Hyde's cheek.
"Steven are you okay? Do you need to talk about something?" Jackie started slipping into her own insecurity the more she talked, "Is it me? Do I have a pimple? Is my hair messed up? Oh my god, you're going to break up with me aren't you, Steven? Please just don't I'll work out whatever it is-" Hyde cut her off, covering her mouth without changing expression. He was hesitating, trying to compose the proper words- smart words? romantic words? caring words? any words- and stayed silent for several moments before removing his hand.
"You're wearing my shirt," he breathed. The words were so quiet he had to repeat them, "You're just... you're wearing my shirt." His eyes kept flicking between the Led Zeppelin logo and his girlfriend's heterochromic eyes. He swallowed whatever else his brain was processing, if his brain was processing anything coherent at all.
"Of course I am- why wouldn't I?"
"It's just," Hyde ran his hand through his curls, "you seemed so relieved when I told you you didn't have to wear it, so I thought you wouldn't. And I get it, really, I've had that shirt forever and that's not really your style."
"I mean I don't wear it when people will see it," she said, "but I always have it on when I'm sleeping and I like to wear it under bigger stuff because then most people won't see it. But I still wear it, and I like having it on." There was a silence between the two. Hyde stared at the apparently not so shallow girl with a softness no one outside Jackie knew he could express. The thoughts were constantly racing through his head. He never really gave gifts to anyone- he either never had the money or just didn't care about the people enough- but few people actually appreciated what he gave them. Of course Mr. and Mrs. Forman took whatever gifts he gave on birthdays and holidays with appreciative pats on the back and smiles, but that's just how the Formans were with him. The only other person he'd tried to give gifts to was his mom, who'd always respond with "Why would you give me this piece of crap" before chucking another whisky bottle at the wall.
But here Jackie was, wearing a t-shirt she would never wear if it wasn't for him. Hyde remembered what the brunette said at their first date. That awful- not really awful- date filled with so many- okay maybe one- regrets. He remembers how she so sympathetically, so... affectionately says "You're wondering, how can I open up to her, when everyone I have ever loved has abandoned me? Am I even worthy of love? Well… You are, Steven. You are." Hyde would never admit the truth to that statement, just like he didn't refute what she said and how that first real kiss meant something to him. What would have happened if he told the truth, he often finds himself asking, would we have been together then? would we still be? Why did I spend so long telling myself I didn't need this spoiled brat in my life? As much as he finds marriage to be a stupid institution and thinking about the future redundant, he can still see himself spending a lifetime with this girl, and oddly enough, so can she.
"Why?" his voice is so vulnerable, so not how even Jackie would expect it to ever sound. Hyde's heart breaks as he sees the empathy written across the girl's face. Hyde felt himself being gently pushed onto his cot. Jackie leaned in to kiss her boyfriend before cradling his head against her shirt, Hyde unconsciously breathing in her scent mixed with his: his new favorite scent.
"Because like you told me, I'm with you, and I really like that," Hyde can feel a smile stretching across Jackie's face, "and your shirt reminds me of it and how someone- someone who wouldn't hurt me- actually cares and is there for me. It's like a little shield protecting me. I always have you around, branded as yours, even if it is a secret." Another period of silence re-entered the room, but this one still carrying out words. The kind of words that can't be said aloud but still such well known concepts between the two. How much Jackie actually knows about Hyde's neglect- from her own experience; the fact that Jackie can take things without a dollar value and still cherish it; that Hyde's emotional walls are so obviously close to breaking down it strains him to keep foundation; the immeasurable amount of love that Hyde feels for the small brunette holding him with so much more care than his own mother did. Those were hard words to say aloud- things the master of zen hated for making him feel vulnerable- but still remained true.
"I... Jackie, I-" he still breaks off in fear of any future rejection.
"I know Steven," Jackie runs her hands through his hair, "I know how you feel and how hard it is for you to say it. But I love you. And it's okay. You and us- it's all okay."
"I still can't believe you wear my shirt."
"Yeah well, even if someone did see, I do look good in black," a chuckle vibrates through both of them. That's one thing that kept them more secure than Forman and Donna; how he and Jackie have such heavy baggage and can make light of situations in moments without really suppressing them. It's the thing that got him to l-care about her as much as he does. Hyde finally moves back from his girlfriend's chest, a smirk contrasting with eyes brimmed red.
"You don't look that good," and before Jackie responds, their lips collide. Hyde's moving his hands to remove his- Jackie's shirt but even as his hands are at her shoulders, he doesn't want to remove his lips from hers yet. The kiss is uncharacteristically soft and- dare he say it?- passionate. Even when they start to fuck, it's slow. Almost like making love, and it's weird, and it's different. But Hyde can'd bring himself to care. He just wants to feel their bodies together, keep any sort of life line that, yes, this is here to stay.
Wow literally everything I write turns to angst I am so sorry.
But I'm not in the slightest.