Disclaimer: This story is very loosely based on the Season One episode, Soup and Fish, even though I thought of the idea of Chatsworth's cousin long before seeing the episode a week ago. I do NOT own any of the fictional characters in my story. Not even Kate. She comes and goes as she pleases in my imagination. Enjoy!

"Mumsy?"

"Oh! Chatsworth, you nasty boy! You startled me!"

"Sorry, Mumsy," Chatsworth Osborne Jr. replied, looking down at the floor apologetically before continuing. "Mumsy, I was just wondering if my dear, sweet, disarming Cousin has made her arrival yet."

Mumsy, also known as Mrs. Chatsworth Osborne Sr. frowned, pulling her mink coat around her even tighter. "No, Chatsworth; she hasn't. I was going to send for Trembley to ferret her out. Where is he, anyhow? Trembley?"

Chatsworth daintily tapped his mother on the shoulder as she looked around for their butler. "Mumsy, perhaps I could go out and fetch her for you. After all, she and I have so much to catch up on. Stocks and bonds and things of that sort."

"Very well," Mrs. Osborne replied. "Find her and bring her here immediately. She is an Osborne and she shan't be gallivanting about with random peasants. She belongs here, under my supervision and guidance."

Chatsworth smiled and nodded. "Well, of course, Mumsy. I will bring her back here, posthaste."

"Well, don't just stand there, you nasty boy! Go!" she cried, literally shooing him away.

Again, Chatsworth nodded and dashed off.

"That Chatsworth. Always eager. Nasty, but eager," she said aloud to no one in particular.

"So, like, what do you wanna do today, good buddy?" Maynard G. Krebs asked his best friend as they sat in their usual place in the park. "We could go down to the ice cream parlor and get a sundae!"

Dobie Gillis looked at Maynard sadly. "Maynard, going to get ice cream takes money. And I haven't got a single red cent to my name."

Maynard looked down for a second before he looked back up and smiled. "Hey, Dobe; we could go to the Bijou. I hear they're showing The Monster That Devoured Cleaveland."

"Maynard, what did I tell you? I don't have any money. We can't go get a sundae and we can't go see a movie."

Maynard scratched his scrawny beard. "Oh. Sorry. There's gotta be like something we can do for two people who ain't got a red cent to their names. Or even a blue cent. Or yellow. Or green!"

Dobie looked at Maynard, exhasperated. "Maynard, enough!"

Suddenly, a young female figure emerged from the bushes and Maynard knew any ideas he came up with would be going out the window.

Sure enough, Dobie shot up from the bench as if he were on fire. "Hello, lovely breath of fresh air. My name is Dobie Gillis. Allow me to be your slave, your puppet."

The young girl grinned, her brown pony-tail bobbing slightly as Dobie took her hand in his. "Hi, Dobie. I'm Katelyn. Kate for short."

"Oh, Kate. Pure, sweet adorable Kate. Are you new in town? Allow me to assist you in any way you desire."

"You're a sweet boy, Dobie. A little kooky but sweet. Actually, I am new to town. But I'm not lost. I'm hiding."

"Ooh, Dobe; what if she's hiding from the cops?" Maynard spoke up. "What if she's like on the goat?"

"That's lam, Maynard. And there's no way this delicate flower could be in trouble with anyone," Dobie corrected. "May I ask who you're hiding from, my darling Kate?"

"My cousin. I know he's looking for me, but I'm just not exactly anxious about seeing him yet," Kate confessed, smoothing down her long khaki skirt.

Dobie nodded. "Well, then hide you, we shall. Come along, Maynard."

Suddenly, Kate tensed up as they heard a car approach. "No, we have to hide now!" With that, she grabbed Dobie's arm, who grabbed Maynard's arm and the three of them hid behind the bushes.

"So, like, who's your Cousin that you're too terrified to meet?" Maynard whispered as the car pulled in front of the bench and the young gentleman got out.

"Oh, Katie-Cuz; where are you?" A familiar voice called out.

Kate frowned. "Him."

Both Maynard and Dobie peeked carefully through the bushes to see Chatsworth Osborne Jr. looking around rather excitably.

"Chatsworth Osborne Jr.?" Dobie whispered, eyes wide.

"Like him?" Maynard asked.

Kate nodded. "Like him."

"Funny, but you don't seem all snobbish and rich like the rest of them Osborne cats. You're kinda homely and plain. No offense."

"No offense. I know. Unlike the rest of my family, I choose not to flaunt the fact that I have money," Kate replied.

Suddenly, Chatsworth walked around to the bushes and saw the three of them. "Katie-Cuz! There you are!" He grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her from her hiding place. "It's ever so good to see you!"

Maynard and Dobie stood up and joined their reunion. "Like, I bet you wish she felt the same," Maynard replied without thinking, receiving a sharp look from Dobie.

Kate held Chatsworth at arms' length. "You still look the same," she managed to respond.

"Might I ask whatever were you doing back behind the bushes with these riff-raffs?" Chatsworth asked.

"Like, she was helping this riff-raff. I lost a shoe," Maynard lied.

Chatsworth looked down. "Krebs baby, your tattered and sordid shoes are on your feet!"

Maynard looked down. "Oh! There they are! Thanks, Chatsy. You're like a real human being."

Kate bit her lip to keep from laughing. "Chatsworth, you never told me you had such amusing friends."

"That's because they're not exactly what I would call 'friends'; more like uncouth acquaintances," he replied distastefully.

Dobie stepped forward angrily. "Now, just a minute! Just a darned minute! Chatsworth, how many times have Maynard and I helped-"

"Well, would you look at the time?" Chatsworth interrupted, looking at his solid gold wristwatch. "I promised Mumsy I would have you back at the mansion ASAP. Come along, Katie-Cuz!"

"Uh, bye Dobie! Bye, Maynard!" Kate called out and waved as Chatsworth's little blue sports car zoomed away.

"Well," Dobie huffed. "How do you like that? 'Uncouth acquaintances'! Huh!

Maynard shrugged. "I guess it's better than being couth. Sounds contagious."