A Chat with Fang
Fang: Fangalishious!
Me: Fangalishious?
Fang: Yep!
Me: Why?
Fang: It makes me sound like a preppy teen fan-girl addicted to fan-fiction. Hmm, that reminds me of someone….
Me: Ok...Just be quite Fang.
Fang: -grumbles- Fine!
-Awkward silence-
Me: I heard Saint finally let you go…
Fang: -sighs- I wish, it's just a rumor though. Plus, she asked if I wanted to leave and I said -grows into indistinct mumbling-
Me: What?
Fang: I said that I didn't -mumbles-
Me: -clears throat- One more time, please?
Fang: -angry- I DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE OK!
-More awkward silence-
Me: Anyway, can you ask Saint to add some more on the Avian Flu story? It's my favorite and it hasn't been updated in a while.
Fang: Sure, why not. I kinda liked the part where I got extremely hyped up on NyQuils. From someone else's perspective at least.
Me: You know, humans are only supposed to take up to 8 pills a day, and only 2 pills at once every couple hours, not dump the whole fudgin' canister down your little bird throat!
Fang: Can we end this conversation?
Me: NOPE! I want to get at least a good page and a half to send to my editing team.
Fang: Who's your "Editing Team"?
Me: Uhh… nobody…
Fang: -crosses arms-
Me: A friend of mine who likes to read it when you and Saint have your little arguments like a married couple.
Fang: We are NOT a married couple, and nowhere close!
Me: You know, if Max moves on to Dylan, even for a little while, I'd be heartbroken and ready to die without Faxness. Life would have no meaning without fax, and I'd eventually turn Goth and end up like you in the Avian Flu when you kept on writing your "Notes" on the meaning of life.
Fang: Don't dare bring that up.
Me: Too late, I JUST DID!
Fang: GOSH! FINE!
Me: FINE!
-long awkward silence again-
Me: Fang?
Fang: Yes?
Me: …
Fang: What?
Me: …
-Short silence-
Me: Fang?
Fang: Yes!
Me: …
Fang: What!
Me: …
-Short silence-
Me: Fan-
Fang: WHAT!
Me: I just wanted to say Hi...
Fang: Ugh -sighs-
-Pause-
Fang: -groan- -pause- Why am I here, again?
Me: Saint offered a secret contest and I won, and the prize was to borrow you for a 24 hour period to have a nice chat to be recorded. She then shipped me all the supplies to keep you in here for that time, which included food and water, bird-kid proofed locks, door handles, door hinges, window bars, and an extra door just in case.
Iggy: -Randomly poofs into room with sparkly white clouds and starts feeling himself- How'd I get here and why am I wearing clothes!
Fang: Ig, all people wear clothes, and if you must know, you've been kidnapped by fan-fiction loving, messed up maniac. And Ig, why is your hair wet?
Iggy: I was taking a SHOWER! -Crosses arms-
Me: That explains the 'Why am I wearing clothing like a normal person?' question.
Iggy: Why are you here Fang? -leans against wall- And nice color for your room by the way.
Me: Thanks!
Fang: Anyway, Saint put me up in a contest that I didn't know about, which meant that this moron-
Me: HEY!
Fang: Excuse me, Lady Moron- Won me to keep me for a day as long as she kept log of all the stuff we did.
Me: -dials Saints number on home phone- Hi Saint; It's me from the contest! The one where you put Fang up for grabs. Yeah, that one! Anywho, do you think you can air drop some another crate of readymade bird-kid food -Fang glares- to my place. Yeah, long story short, Iggy got here while he was taking a shower and he got fully clothed and can't make himself go back. -Airplane noise, loud thump from outside- Thanks Saint! -Hangs up-
Fang: Who was that?
Me: Take a guess bird brain.
Iggy: Dr. Martinez?
Fang: Dumbass bird, ITS JEB!
Me: -sigh- You guys are pathetic. IT'S SAINT!
Fang and Iggy: OHHH!
-silence-