Maria Callas: User Guide and Manual
Congratulations! You have purchased the MARIA CALLAS unit! With the help of this manual, you will be able to handle the raging sex-bomb that is this unit
Technical specifications
Country Name: Colombia
Human name: Maria Callas. Will answer to "Maria", "Hermana", "Sexy", and "Le F.A.R.C's bitch" (Note: NEVER call her this unless you want your limbs torn off and your brain blown to bits)
Age: 21
Place of Manufacture: Bogota, Colombia
Height: 5'5
Weight: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS
Cup size: C cup.
Your MARIA CALLAS unit comes with the following:
One (1) very revealing military uniform
Five (5) revealing normal clothes
One (1) cell phone
One (1) set of traditional dancing clothes
One (1) handgun
Programming
Your MARIA CALLAS unit has the following traits.
Stripper: Your MARIA CALLAS unit is not shameful about her body at all and would be more than happy to do this job.
Prostitute: Your MARIA CALLAS unit can be very sensual and would make any man (and sometimes woman) feel like they've had the best night of their life. Please note that the MARIA CALLAS unit is a legal adult.
Bodyguard: don't let this ridiculously hot piece of ass fool you. She has to be tough in order to handle the drug cartels and the like she has to deal with. Plus she certainly knows a way around a gun…
Spy: Like with the bodyguard trait, you wouldn't even expect her to be this. Not to mention that she would certainly do anything to get the information.
Model: the MARIA CALLAS' how body is the type of body that other models would envy. Not to mention that she likes to show off her clothes and well… her body. The corporation is not responsible for anyone dying from loss of blood through the nose if they see this unit modeling.
Removal of your MARIA CALLAS unit from packaging.
Though your MARIA CALLAS unit is normally very sociable, she can easily slip into a horrible mood if you wake her up in a bad way. As such, here are some failsafe ways to make sure you don't get a bullet in your skull.
Simply cook a Colombian dish, or make Colombian coffee. She will immediately rip through the box and ask for some. While she is eating/drinking, you can reprogram her.
Get a Shakira CD and play it at full volume. She will sing along to the song, and then you can program her.
Have the FRANCISCO SALAS unit just knock on the box and wake her up.
Reprogramming
After you have unpacked your MARIA CALLAS unit, you can reprogram her to the following modes:
Social (default)
Slutty (default)
Annoyed
Snarky
Gran Colombia (locked)
Le F.A.R.C (locked)
Your MARIA CALLAS unit's default modes are Social and Slutty. Both are rather simple to understand. Your MARIA CALLAS unit likes to talk to people, and possibly sleep with them. She will talk to you a lot and will be extremely flirty towards you.
Annoyed mode is attained when she is placed with a LUISA RODRIGUEZ or ANA ORTEGA unit, more often when with the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit. She will try to act like she normally does, but will take time to glare at the unit that has offended her. Just buy her a new outfit to put her back into default.
Snarky is attained when placed in the same room as the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit. As these two don't get along, they will be very annoyed with each other and will point out flaws in the other's personality. To get her back to normal, buy her jewelry or a new outfit.
Gran Colombia mode is unlocked when she somehow gets into an especially bad argument with both the GABRIEL RAMIREZ and ALEJANDRO MORENO units. She is much stronger and will be extremely protective and bossy around the ANA ORTEGA unit. She will also try to boss you around and will threaten you with a sword if you don't listen to her. In order to snap her out of this mode, you need to have the ANA ORTEGA unit yell at her, shocking her out of the mode.
Le F.A.R.C. mode is probably one of the most dangerous modes. This mode is unlocked when she is made fun of or mocked because of certain happenings that have happened to her country. She will go off and surprise attack everyone, not even feeling sorry and has in some cases even killed people. The only way to get hour out of this mode is to have the FRANCISCO SALAS unit talk her out of this mode.
Note: the LUISA RODRIGUEZ unit does not cause this mode since they both are used to each other's taunts by now. It is if any other unit insults of mocks her.
Relationships with other units
LUISA RODRIGUEZ: these two rarely ever get along, ever since the MARIA CALLAS unit took over some of her islands. They do not like to be in the same room as each other, but have toned down the hysterics and violence since they have a peace treaty.
ALEJANDRO MORENO: These two have a complicated relationship, with the Alejandro Moreno pretty much hating the MARIA CALLAS unit even though the latter doesn't. The MARIA CALLAS unit is actually pretty worried about him and his country.
GABRIEL RAMIREZ: the MARIA CALLAS unit actually has better relations with this unit than the ALEJANDRO MORENO unit. They are both social around each other although sometimes the GABRIEL RAMIREZ unit will get annoyed by her, but not often.
ANA ORTEGA: This is also another rather complicated relationship. The ANA ORTEGA unit is rather uncomfortable and even scared around the MARIA CALLAS unit. However, the MARIA CALLAS unit will feel protective around her, but will try to seduce her nonetheless.
FRANCISCO SALAS: Probably the only unit she wouldn't try to sleep with, the FRANCISCO SALAS unit is sort of like a "Sassy gay best friend" to the MARIA CALLAS unit. Since both have rather complicated relationships with their twin sibling, they have a lot to bond over.
Cleaning
The MARIA CALLAS unit is capable of cleaning herself, however is more than open to the thought of you taking a bath or a shower with her. In fact, she would encourage this. But do this at your own risk.
Feeding
The MARIA CALLAS unit can feed herself, but will flat out refuse if you want her to cook for you, unless you ask very nicely and she gets something in return.
Rest
The MARIA CALLAS unit is a late riser, and it is best not to wake her up. Besides, if you even go in her room she'll probably have a new lover in there with her.
FAQ
Q: My Unit has disappeared!
A: She is probably out and about doing who knows what. No to worry. She'll come back.
Q: my Unit keeps on trying to have sex with me! What's going on?
A: this is rather obvious, isn't it? Her sex drive is always in motion. You'll just have to deal with it.
Trouble shooting
Problem: Instead of a MARIA CALLAS unit, you have gotten a small girl in maid's clothes that is rather polite and not perverted at all
Solution: oops! We accidentally gave you a chibi!Colombia unit. She is very shy and rather innocent. If you don't want her, then call customer services and send her back.
Problem: My unit keeps on trying to take care of me, making me food and asking where you're going. She is also being very motherly in general and is starting to get annoying. What's going on?
Solution: It seems you somehow unlocked the hidden Motherly mode the MARIA CALLAS unit has. She will see you as more of her child and will be very, well, motherly. We don't know what triggers this. However, the simplest thing to snap her out of this mode would be to kiss her on the lips. That'll snap her right out of it, but will cause her to go after you even more to sleep with her.
End notes
With enough tolerance to sexual advances and plenty of hot men around, you will be able to live a somewhat happy life with your MARIA CALLAS unit. We hope that you are able to enjoy your time with her.
AUGH, DONE. FINALLY. Autumn asked me to write this for her OC for Colombia and I decided to do it because I'm a good big sister. Man, I hope I didn't fuck up on this… Dios mio… so tired…
Maybe I should do some more of my characters…