Funny little one-shot inspired by a...strange conversation. Takes places sometime during Will's apprenticeship, and the title says it all...

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing...yet

"Finish your food, Will," Halt ordered.

Will glanced at the lumpy oatmeal that was his breakfast and felt queasy. "I'm not that hungry," he decided, eying the bowl warily as if it's contents were about to slop onto the table.

"There are starving children living on the streets!" Halt pretended to look shocked at Will's selfishness. "They would give anything for food, no matter what it was."

Will blinked in complete innocence, asking in a perfectly confused voice, "Then why don't you give my breakfast to them instead?"

Halt shot his apprentice a glare from across the counter top behind which he was stirring a delicious looking pot of coffee. Will took the hint and picked up his spoon, prodding the substance in what was, from Halt's point of view, an overly-dramatic way.

Shaking his head slightly, Halt headed over to a small table in front of the fire and settled into the chair with his favorite drink to read through some reports. There was silence for some time, while Halt read depressing accounts of deaths and pillaging and Will gloomily forced down his breakfast. Just when Halt thought that the silence had become a little unnerving (or maybe it was these rising death tolls), Will turned and spoke up.

"So, Halt," he started, in a tone the old Ranger knew very well. His apprentice wanted something, and was going to attempt to get it by first complimented Halt on his haircut and shave. Then, he would mention something related to what the boy's wish was. Finally, when Halt didn't show any reaction, he would ask what he wanted and persist until Halt gave in. It had worked with that infernal lute.

"Did you try a new look this morning? Your hair's looking very...strapping today."

There's the first step, Halt mentally checked off. He did nothing past shoot a suspicious look at the boy and give a noncommittal grunt. Will plowed ahead.

"I've been working really hard lately, haven't I, Halt?"

Check number two, Halt sighed inwardly. His apprentice really shouldn't be so obvious in these things.

Will frowned at Halt's lack of reaction. Deciding to just risk it, he suggested, "Maybe I deserve a day off, don't you think?"

And there's the ridiculous request, Halt thought a little smugly as he prepared his most condescending face. The Ranger raised his eyes to meet Will's eager brown one's, and asked mildly, "I guess Alyss would be a little disappointed if you didn't show up."

Will gaped, a blush rising to his cheeks. He was in the awkward half-stage with his friend, Halt saw. The boy knew Alyss was special to him but was absolutely terrified of anything happening.

"W-what are you...," Will stopped as he realized something else. "Does that mean I can go?" His eyes lit up and Halt almost, almost, felt guilty as he snorted and returned to his report.

"When pigs fly," he threw out, liking the term.

Will, on the other hand, looked a little confused. What did pigs have to do with this conversation? He asked as much and Halt fixed him with that annoyed, 'what-a-silly-child-you-are' look.

"The day those swine soar through the air is the day I let you out of training for a date with a girl," Halt said patronizingly.

Will scowled, embarrassed by the jibe and angry at Halt's refusal. He opened his mouth to argue, but Halt cut him off with a firm, "No."

Will stopped eating his breakfast, deciding that it wouldn't help Halt's decision, and carried the dishes outside to begin his chores. While he seemed to have dropped the subject, however, a harebrained scheme was working its way into the boy's mind. Well, that is, a swine-brained scheme...

"So, you want me to...what?" Alyss stared at the excited boy in front of her. Clearly Will had been training way too hard; his head was filled with silly notions about flying pigs. Or maybe that old Ranger Halt had finally cracked and taken Will with him...

"C'mon Alyss, just drop this rock when we step outside, and then we can-" here Will stumbled a little "have..dinner...together."

Alyss smiled a little. "Alright, Will. Just go get Halt. I'm sure the pig's gonna run away soon."

"Of course not, it'll probably sleep through the whole thing!" Still, Will rushed out of the trees and took the porch steps two at a time.

"Halt!" he called, sticking his head around the door. The Ranger in question was watching his coffee brew with barely stifled eagerness. Now he tuned irritably towards the door.

"What?"

"Come quick! It's a flying pig!"

Halt couldn't tell whether or not Will was being funny. Thus, he followed the bouncing boy outside and automatically looked to the sky. There wasn't even a cloud in sight.

"I don't see anything, Will-," Halt started. He just wanted to get back to his coffee.

"Just wait, it was right there!" Will insisted. "Went soaring through the sky!"

"Will," Halt growled. "How many times do we have to talk about lying?" But the words died on his lips as a sudden high-pitched squeal of fright was heard.

Halt looked to the sky once more in something close to fascination. A pink bundle, suddenly clearly distinguishable as a pig, tumbled head over heels through the air. At one point in its "flight," its four legs spread out completely in a mock representation of wings. Then, as soon as it had appeared, the pig sailed over the cabin and out of sight. Only Will knew that Alyss was waiting with a soft landing for the animal and a few treats to calm the poor thing down.

The act seemed to have worked: Halt was rendered speechless.

"Well?" Will asked eagerly. Halt looked at him dumbly. "A pig flew. Can I have tonight off?"

Halt shook his head, but not in denial of Will's request. It was more in disbelief. Either he was going crazy or pigs had started to fly over the past few days and Halt hadn't received the notice. The thought that his apprentice had tricked didn't come to mind just yet; Halt didn't think Will to be that influenced by Gilan.

Will continued to look at his master imploringly, sticking out his lip a little. Instead of telling Will to act his age, Halt waved a hand dismissively in permission and turned back to the cabin, ignoring Will's whoop of joy. Coffee, Halt decided. Coffee will help.

Study your pigs for wings, reposition your trampoline just in case, and grab some popcorn for the show!

So, that was fun :). I have an idea for a sequel, but only if you all want to read more. Reviews are much appreciated!

-Dodo