Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy.
Chapter 1: Undetermined Emotions
Warnings and Disclaimers: First of all, Harry Potter is not mine and I claim no ownership of it what so ever. I make no profit off of this and do not intend to ever use it to claim such means. Second, there is multiple malexmale (slash) pairings and one almost femxfem realtionship so do read with that in mind. This will eventually progress into the most intimate of all the acts and often references masturbating so if you're against that, read with caution as well.
This was bad. Draco knew that, butwhy did he keep telling himself that? After his last encounter with Potter at Madam Malkins, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the boy. Only half an hour ago had he realised why.
He was in love with Harry Potter.
Gah. It even sounded stupid and wrong in his head. Draco shook his head, trying to get rid of the ridiculous thoughts. Finally, he arrived at Platform 9 ¾. He was just about to board the train when Harry Bloody Potter and his usual group of friends arrived. Draco could feel his heart rate doubling in speed. Before he could hide, Potter spotted him and glared at him. Draco tried his best to glare back at him before quickly fleeing onto the train.
Harry watched the boy run onto the train, wondering why Malfoy had not come over and taunted him about something or another. Well, whatever, he thought. Malfoy would be Malfoy. Still, there was something not quite right about how Malfoy had glared at him. It seemed... half-hearted.
Maybe it was because his cronies had not been with him? But Malfoy had given him a very vile verbal beating last time they had been alone.
Malfoy was up to something. He always was and this time it must be horrible. He gave up a chance to make fun of Harry, for Merlin's sake! Not that Harry liked having Malfoy taunting him and sneering at him, mind you, but it was just very odd that he hadn't. Malfoy must be up to something before the school year had even started, Harry thought angrily, and he was determined to find out what it was. End of story. With renewed determination, he climbed the train behind his friends.
Draco knew he had prefect duties, but he just couldn't convince himself to go fulfill them. He was lying down in his seat across from Theo and Blaise, who were playing a game of chess. Pansy was at the Prefects meeting and rounding up all the first years, even though she had seemed a bit out of it before. Now, more than usual, she just kind of drifted off into space and stared at some random spot on the wall. He guessed she was tired, she had told him she had had a very busy summer and hadn't gotten too much sleep. Crabbe and Goyle were pigging at the snack trolley, as usual. Draco wrinkled his nose disdainfully at the thought of them.
He slowly drifted off to sleep and the first thing that popped into his head were bright, green eyes and messy black hair. Thankfully, before he could get much into that dream, the door opened, making Draco start. Pansy stood by the entrance. Draco sat up and Pansy came and sat beside him quietly. Before Draco could say anything, Pansy looked blankly out the window, face mulish and thoughtful.
"So, anything interesting happen while on duty?" Blaise asked, looking up from his game. They had been playing for over an hour now.
"Nothing, really. The first years were as bratty as usual. The meeting was boring as hell. We were just discussing about new restrictions and regulations for the new term, and Granger were blabbing on about how to take on and use your positions properly. She needs to cool down; she acts like she owns everything," Pansy answered, and her tone remained flat.
"Hmph." Blaise replied in agreement.
Draco lay back on her lap and she absently stroked his hair. It was true that they had dated for part of their fourth year, but then she had realised he was gay. She had known about it for two weeks before telling him that he was gay and breaking up with him. Afterward, they had of course remained close friends, and now they shared an amazing secret he wanted no one -especially Potter-, to know about.
They did lots of things together, like pick out the hottest guys in magazines and such. Draco was really glad that he had such a close friend at times like this. He would probably tell her about this Potter... thing.
Draco was glad that Pansy still did things that were slightly intimate like this with him. That way he could take his mind off Potter and focus on the calming hand threading through his hair, and as long as he didn't imagine it was Potter's hand... Aww, fuck. There it was, again. Draco squinted, shutting his mind with his eyes half-closed. He finally got rid of Potter's image of him carding his hair, pulling it before he lowered his face and—no. It was gone in almost an instant. This was easier than Draco thought it would. Slowly, he drifted off into dreamland. Hopefully to dream about something that wasn'tPotter.
Harry had met up with Luna and Neville on the way to a seat, and now he was staring blankly out the window as Luna read the Quibbler and Neville played with some odd plant that Harry had failed to listen to the explanation of.
Hermione and Ron came into the cabin a few seconds later.
"Hey, guess what? Malfoy's not doing prefect duty. We saw him sitting in his compartment with the other Slytherins." Ron said excitedly.
Harry sat up immediately, curious. Malfoy was not one to give away a chance to show off the powers he has over others as prefect, seeing how badly he had wanted it last year.
"What did he do when he saw you?" Harry asked.
"Nothing, actually. He was asleep." Ron said indifferently. "Not usual for him, is it? I mean, why wasn't he out bullying first years? Isn't that a hobby of his?"
"Dunno," Harry said, but his mind was jumping with possibilities of what Malfoy was doing as he formulated a theory. The fact that Malfoy was sleeping meant he was tired. If he was, then he must've been doing a lot this summer. Had big plans, Harry thought darkly. Also, the fact that he was not out bullying younger students meant he had larger things on his mind, right? So since Malfoy alwaysgoteverythinghewanted, he must've just moved onto "bigger pastures", meaning that... that was it! Malfoy was a Death Eater. Harry just knew it.
As he was thinking through his theory, Hermione tried to answer Ron's question, "Maybe he misses the glory of the Inquisitorial Squad. Maybe being a prefect just isn't enough for him."
"I don't think so," said Harry. "I think he's a—"but Harry never got to finish his sentence as the door opened and a small girl handed him and Neville each a small letter
"Hmm, I'll tell you when we get to—" Draco stopped mid-sentence as the door to the compartment opened, revealing a small 5th-year Ravenclaw they all knew to be Andrew Aberson, and Draco was glad that he had moved his head from Pansy's lap.
Everyone was looking at the boy, except for Theo who was plotting his next move against Blaise.
"I was told to give this to a, uh," the boy looked down at the letter quickly. "Blaise Zabini," he said the last part rather quickly.
"Thank you for remembering my name," Blaise said with an endearingly sarcastic voice and a pleasant smile. The boy blushed andhanded the letter to him.
"You-you're welcome," he said quickly, bowing slightly and slammed the door shut with a clang.
"Well, that was loud," Theo commented, looking up from the chessboard. "Oh, and checkmate," he said, smirking slyly. Blaise cursed darkly.
"What will this make, your third galleon?" Blaise said spitefully and Theo nodded vigorously, smirking at him.
"Yes, on this train trip. But you still owe me sixteen from over the years." Theo smiled teasingly. "One for each year you've been alive."
"I am never betting with you again." Blaise said, handing Theo a galleon.
"If you say so. By the way, what's in that letter?" They all looked from Blaise to the letter in his hands. He then held it up and read it aloud.
"Dear Blaise,
I would be delighted if you would join me for a bite of lunch in compartment C.
Sincerely,
Professor, H.E.F. Slughorn." Blaise recited placidly.
"Interesting. I've heard of him somewhere before..." Draco started, but trailed off, trying to think of where he'd heard the name before.
"Yeah, my dad said he used to teach Potions back in his day. Wonder why he's back?" Theo ventured.
"Don't know. But if he's the Potion's teacher, then that must mean—"
"Professor Snape is Defence Against the Dark Arts professor!" Draco exclaimed excitedly, getting up from his seat a bit.
"Yeah, he probably will, won't he?" Blaise said, a smilelifting uphis face. Soon the same smile was on all their faces.
"We should go congratulate him after the feast," Pansy said brightly, coming out of her trance at the moment.
"Yeah, well I should probably go see what Slughorn wants." Blaise said and walked out of the compartment.
AN: So, that's it! Tell me how you like it, I live to know! I didn't put the meeting with Slughorn in here and it won't be in the next chapter, either. Nothing important to my story happens there. I really like the Theo/Blaise pairing so I think I'll stick with it and maybe even do a different fic of it ;). Theo really doesn't get enough attention in the books. Isn't Harry just silly! He's just so hard-headed. What do you think of Draco, too 'emotional' for the Ice Prince? Chapter 2 will be posted sometime this weekend or next weekend.