Metal Gear Broken: Crack Eater

Rating - PG-13

Violence, Mild Cursing, and Suggestive Themes

Summary: Deranged Minds, A completely messed up Universe that doesn't make sense anymore. AU,

AT, and AR. Contains Drabbles, and things a little longer than a drabble and IS A crack fic.

…Beware.

ZeUbermensch: Mission Crack Eater,

Commencing in...

3

2

1

Forgot to sync my watch...

Zer0: Darn it, Uber!

Snake eyed himself in-front of the mirror. He was curious. He wanted it to try it. If he just got Otacon's glasses just this once. Quickly tip-toeing out of the bathroom, he eyed the computer room, and spied a nerd and his computer. Hal was sleeping on the computer chair downloading some episodes of a unusual looking anime that earned looks from Snake; A kind of guy that wouldn't care about what you do in your free-time. But this worried Snake. It was girly, pink, and they were all wearing Maid dresses. Snake quickly took advantage of the situation.

Snake sure did move like a snake, every step he took was well placed and silent and at a very considerably fast pace. Snake examined Otacon's face. His face was peaceful. He snatched the glasses off of his face, Snake made a mad quiet dash for the bathroom. He got the glasses on and looked out of it for the first time. Snake muttered a quiet 'Wow'... to his head. He put his hand on the mirror, and he found his reflection was taking off his shirt, Snake quickly took off his too. He got up on the bathroom counter and found his hand was on his cheek too. Little did Snake know that he was basing it with his own reflection. He shouted 'DAVE, OH DAVE! MAKE LOVE TO ME GENIUS LOOKING BAD-ASS' in his brain and was making out with the reflection.

"Gr... you taste like glass..." Snake grunted quietly. Snake snapped out of the trance, He quickly jumped out of the bathroom and into the living room which was by the Den. Snake could see clearly now. He felt like a new man. Snake quickly felt like his life was a high-definition First Person Shooter. He ran into the fridge, and got the chocolate syrup bottle and held it like a Scorpion SMG with a Vertical Grip. Using the index finger and the thumbs, he squirted The bottle on a sleepy Hal's face. "AHH!" Snake had no shirt on, and had chocolate syrup drooling out of the corner of his lip, and syrup was all over his rib cage, and Dave also had syrup all over his neck. Hal banged his head against the Table as he fell out of the chair and knocked himself out. "CRAP!" Dave shouted, One of his Huskies were alert to the bellow. In fact it was the ONLY Siberian Husky that survived while Dave was out for Shadow Moses. Dave didn't come back for a couple weeks. Let's say that. Snake quickly got a codec call. It was Para-Medic, if Hal hadn't concussed right now he wouldn't of answered her frequency.

Para-Medic: "Acoochy-Coochy-Coo!"

Snake: "Huh? Listen. My friend just concussed. What do I do?"

Para-Medic: "Oh yeah, I forgot you're not a baby. Uh. Go to the Survival Viewer."

Snake: "OK, Bitch Don't-you-eat-that Healingson. I'm not Big Boss, nor is this Snake Eater. Seriously."

Para-Medic: "Alright, Tic-Tac dick. How about you try to wake him up your self?"

The Call Ended.

Snake picked up Otacon, and got him in a shower in nothing but boxers on, and leaned him against the wall and got the shower hose and sprayed him with Hot-Warmish water. Otacon fell down on his butt and Awoke. Snake sprayed him square in the face, quickly washing off the syrup. "You got concussed. I got you in here to wake you up." Snake was still wearing his glasses, but Otacon didn't see. At least... Snake hoped so... "Thanks." Otacon murmured confused. Snake got the Glasses on Otacon, and Snake walked out winking to his own Reflection. Otacon saw the brown stuff all over Snake. "That damn husky" He muttered

A\N (Author's Note): I know this is way too long for a regular drabble. But I had this idea in my brain for weeks. So much crazy ideas that I didn't write down, I regret doing so... But this is the only Idea that got caught in the safety net. Reviews would be nice also. Believe me, it's gonna be more broken along the chapters also.