Flames
It's at times like these, John, when I wonder what's going on in your head. My lips on yours, moving together, pressing kisses to your lips and tracing your jaw line with my own fingers. Our skin, pushing closer together, while I'm grasping the hair at the nape of your neck to keep a hold on my sanity.
These moments drive me mad, John, but I wouldn't want anything else. You gasp my name quietly and I open my eyes to see you looking up at me with your eyes heavy with lust and your hair in a state of disarray. I can feel your pulse in your neck, beating fast and weightily. Your pupils are blown wide and I realise that there's no way I could ever understand you.
To be lusting after me, of all people, when anyone else would be repulsed or intimidated, is obviously a sign of you being driven insane – whether by these moments or others, I don't know, but I hope to God that you stay like this with me.
I'm only just beginning to understand what my leaving did to you. The mere threat, the slightest possibility, just knowing you could leave me at any time, is terrifying. I have gained a colleague, a friend, and a lover for the first time in my all too lonely life, and losing it is unthinkable. I shake with fear when you walk outside to do the shopping or go to work; what if you decided to ask Sarah out? Surely she's the more logical partner for you – someone in your own profession, and someone of the opposite gender. You're mad.
I'm too logical for someone as impulsive and natural as you. I'm a machine and you're just you, so how can I compete? The one person you should hate and you decided to love him.
Fuck, I love you. Against all odds, I love you. I don't even have 'friends', plural, but somehow I manage to love you immutably and keep loving you, even after every possible kiss, word, and touch has been shared and every possible experiment has been carried out. With you, there are no limits. I could never grow bored of this.
"John..."
A/N - This is a very, very short ficlet thing, because I haven't uploaded to either of my 'proper' stories for about a month. Or two. I don't even know. Basically, I am very sorry and I have a few ficlets for anyone who wants them. Still no proper stories though. Sorry about that.
Jess