Confused? me too

This is AU...Things are happening with Ashley and well lets see where it takes her.

I am new to this site and haven't written any FF for a long while so bear with me, hopefully u guys enjoy either way let me know :) It should stick to Ashley's POV but I may switch it up but I'll let ya know.

I don't own SON blah blah But I do own Kate and any other characters I choose to throw in the mix J

Someone once told me 'never regret anything that ever made you smile' and I am a total believer in that sentiment, I am but things that make you smile are not always good for you, for instance Krispy Krèmes make me smile and we all know how good they are for you or alcohol I know I smile just for the sake of it when I've had a few…..

Okay blahhh, I do have a point to my inner ranting, I swear I do, so as I was saying that same someone also told me that I would do exactly what she always did one day go back because that's what girls in love did, was forgive and go back; now that statement I was a definite non believer in, along with probably most other people I knew, no way would Ashley Davies ever be walked over because I am too strong a person for that or I'll be the walker and then I fell in love or at least I think I did or maybe it was just infatuation I'm still not sure.

Oh yeah sorry I keep saying someone when I should be saying Jen, Jen is my oldest bestest friend we were attached at the hip, finished each others sentences that sort of thing, well that was until she got serious with Jake, he was the guy she always went back to whether he cheated on her, screamed at her, hit her, he could do anything and I mean anything and she still went back.

You know I really miss her; we don't get to see each other anymore, we talk once in a blue moon but we can't visit at all, I don't even know where she lives, she ended up pregnant at 17 and then a year later had to move away because Jake beat her so bad he put her in a coma for a week, it was the last straw so going back is not always the best thing to do. Okay now I am making this all seem dark, it's not like that my situation is totally different I would never let someone hit me, Never! But as you can see it's messing with my head, I am going into total meltdown.

"Yo Bitch" Now that, that is Kate, she's the new bestie, not that she's that new anymore we have been inseparable for about 6 years now, we meet in college.

"Ummm remind me again why I gave you those keys?" I look up from my cereal, my bowl of chocolaty goodness ummm mmmm….anyway I do my best to look mad at her intrusion, it won't work but it doesn't matter because I don't mean it.

This is where she plays the wounded part, giving me the kicked puppy face before she smiles

"Be nice I brought starbucks" she slides mine across the breakfast bar, yayyyy internal dance for me anyone whoever brings me a Mocha, has my forgiveness I really think that is the only reason I gave her my spare key, that and because of the time I left the house without my keys…In my boy shorts and wifebeater I might add

yeppp Mr James always smiles at me now, he's my neighbour he let me use his phone to call the locksmith and wait in his apartment until they arrived.

I look up and see Kate laughing at me "Have you finished your little daydream now you weirdo?"

I get up to put my bowl in the sink and cringe to myself before I utter the next sentence "soooo ummm Alex called me" I try to make it sound as up beat as possible.

I hear her Coffee hit the bar before she speaks, not hard I'm just panicking

"Ashley" it's her warning tone so I turn to face her

"What? it's no big deal" and it's not a big deal, not anymore; things feel different this time, I feel in control.

She shrugs and sips her coffee; she's trying to pretend like she doesn't want to ask questions.

5..4..3..2 "So what happened to Candice?" see didn't even get to 1

"They broke up" We all knew that one was coming, it was never gonna last.

"oh my god you went there last night didn't you?" she screeches

"No, what do you take me for?" I say loudly, I don't shout

"Oh okay my bad, but your going tonight right?" she casually asks while pulling her hair over her shoulder and smelling the ends, she always does that. She knows the answer.

I hang my head "I'm suppose to be" I reply quietly because to be honest I feel like a complete and utter idiot, I know I'll go if not tonight then another, even though I don't really want to it's like its habit to me, it's been just short of 5 years but now I don't have that whole excited butterfly feeling in my belly that I had only 9months ago when I would get the call but still there is something pulling me there.

"There is more to life then sex, Ashley"

"Yes I know Kate" I'm only using her name because she's using mine and making me feel bad, sad face for me! But she is right however the sex has always been awesome, sexual chemistry is through the roof! Now that I think of it that may be the only chemistry we have, sex hasn't been that great for me with anyone else…well there was that one time

Huh.

"you wanna talk about this later?" she asks obviously sensing my unease and the fact I haven't even processed it through my head yet.

"Please. So what you up to tonight?" It's Friday you see…my favourite day

"Going to a bar with someone" kate then decides to leave me hanging and for dramic effect grabs an apple from the fruit bowl….. yes I have a fruit bowl I may like my sugar boosts but I can be healthy too.. I hear her make an appreciative sound after crunching her apple. I just stare wide eyed waiting while she gives me her toothy grin.

"She's just a friend"

I dramatically grasp my chest and grip the breakfast bar for stability "You're dumping me? Say it's not true"

"I'm sorry, it's not you its me" she sniffles and hiccups "you're the love of my life but I just need to focus on me right now"

"So what's her name?" I straighten up and we return to normal, we tend to do this a lot act like complete morons, but hey we entertain each other that is all that matters.

"Spencer"

"and she's just a friend?" I look at her disbelievingly

"She's blonde, you know I don't like blondes I met her at that training thing I went to last week"

"Is she gay?"

"yeah"

"Uh Huh" I'm sure you can sense my tone

"Will you shut up, I just need to get out there I don't go out enough and she said we should go out and anyway we talked she doesn't like blondes either" just for the record we go out all the time so I am not buying that oh and Incase you didn't work that out Kate is a blonde…"Plus I've still got that thing for Cassie"

Oh Yes Cassie, don't even get me started "Oh how is Cassie, still straight?"

Kate stands and grabs her keys "Very much so, which is why I need to get out there"

"Okay well you coming over before you go out?"

She nods "we'll have dinner before I leave don't think we are going out till about 9pm so we'll talk then"

"Okay well have a good day at the office honey" I shout after her as she leaves and then turn and make my way to the bedroom to get ready with a big smile on my face.

Kate is wicked, I love her; she is totally my wife, we laugh, we fight, we know what the other is thinking, she tells me what to do, I tell her what to do, she cooks me dinner, I don't and she cleans for me… we just don't have the sex haha which I am very happy for I mean we are both totally smoking but somehow I think I'll pass on that.