Okay, well, I did it again. Here's another story, oops. I promise I'm still working on MAIB and SAP. MAIB will be getting a chapter in the next week or so. I just really needed to get this idea started before I lost it. So yeah, prepare yourselves. This is another modern AU, and it's incestuous Elsanna. Chapters will hopefully be longer than previous stories, and this one might get a tad bit darker.

Also, forewarning: TRIGGERS AHOY. Panic Attacks and other anxiety issues abound. I will list trigger warnings in the little author's note above each chapter as they come. For now, nothing to severe here other than talking about panic attacks. Yep. Well, enjoy. Don't hesitate to leave feedback or comments.

Until next time,
Dex

Hold My Hand
Chapter I

"It's called a panic attack," The doctor said over her shoulder, scribbling something down on a pad of paper, and from where Elsa sat, it looked like complete chicken scratch. There was no way she'd be able to decipher it.

"Are they serious?" Elsa's mother inquired, seated beside her daughter in the small room, her hands balled worriedly on her lap.

"They can be," The woman replied softly, her voice was airy and gentle; no doubt do to Elsa's presence in the room. "But they are manageable, and so long as you are aware of the symptoms you will at least be able to know when one might come on."

Elsa wrung her hands out nervously, a tic, the doctor had informed earlier. The platinum blonde had never known why it brought her some mild comfort to fiddle with her hands, but this session had been quite informative so far.

"Try not to do that, Elsa," Idun – the blonde's mother – instructed. She had, for a long time, tried to rid her eldest of the habit. Elsa set her arms stiffly to her sides, silently wondering if her mother had some sort of sixth sense, and knew that the tic was something to be concerned over.

"Mrs. Alstad," The doctor turned to face them, crossing her arms loosely in front of her white uniform, "your daughter has a condition, and she can't help the nervous tic, so please be gentle about it." Elsa kept her eyes glued to the white tiles of the floor beneath her feet while her mother blushed embarrassedly at being admonished. True, the scolding was gingerly done, but nevertheless it was a scolding all the same.

"What other sorts of symptoms will her condition include?" Idun's lavender eyes scanned the face of their overseeing doctor, and the woman smiled.

"From what I've heard, it doesn't seem that Elsa's case is a severe one, but all the same," The woman turned her back to them for a moment and reached for a folder, opening it and pulling out a small rectangular leaflet. "This is a questionnaire that you should fill out with your daughter. I'll help us better assess the severity of her condition, and determine the best tools for monitoring her."

Idun accepted the pamphlet from the doctor's hand, and read it over. "Panic Disorder Severity Scale," She read aloud, and Elsa winced.

"The PDSS, mhmm," The doctor flicked her eyes briefly to Elsa, seeing that the blonde was still hanging her head low in silent thought, "Everything you find in the questionnaire is rated on a five-point scale, so from zero to four. Answer them honestly, and everything will be fine."

Elsa cast a sideways glance to her mother, watching as the brunette woman opened the booklet and began reading. She watched her mother's expression closely: the slight scrunch of the bridge of her nose, the tight line of her lips formed, and the rapid movement of her eyes as they scanned the pages.

"To clarify," Their doctor interrupted Elsa's focus, "it'll assess panic frequency, distress during her panic attacks, panic-focused anticipatory anxiety, her phobic avoidance of situations, as well as phobic avoidance of physical sensations, impairment in work functioning, and her impairment in social functioning."

Elsa hands immediately latched together once more, wringing out as they had done so many times before. She hated this, the whole situation. She felt weak, helpless, sitting in the brightly lit room under the harsh artificial lights, while her nostrils were invaded by the sterile smell of her surroundings. She just felt so small.

"Are there any symptoms we should look for?" Idun asked with eyes still on the leaflet in her hands.

"Some of the more common ones are easily identified," The doctor leaned back against the counter, her legs crossed casually as she continued to speak, "sweating, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, nausea, dizziness or light-headedness–"

Elsa listened intently, focused on the doctor's words, as she mentally checked off the list as it was rambled off. She had never realized that all of this wasn't just simple nervousness, or being antisocial. She recalled so many times before where she had been brushed off, with people just dismissing her reactions as her being less than sociable.

"–numbness, chills or hot flashes, and even a sense of fear or impending death." The doctor concluded, and Elsa balled her hands tightly into fists.

"Is there anything we can do? Medication, perhaps? Or therapy?" The distress in Idun's voice was apparent.

"There is, yes," The older woman replied, "but first we need to assess your daughter's severity level." Idun gnawed at her lower lip contemplatively, eyes flickering.

"I have a younger daughter," She began, and Elsa stiffened, "is she at risk of anything like this?"

Elsa's pulse raced. Oh God, please no. Not Anna. The doctor shifted in place.

"There have been studies that believe disorders such as these are hereditary, with some families having a predisposition for developing the condition," She strummed her fingers against her forearm, "siblings do carry a higher likelihood, but I wouldn't worry about it unless she shows symptoms as Elsa has." Idun breathed, and Elsa heard it, though she couldn't imagine how with the intense pounding of her heart in her ears.

"What sorts of things might…cause it?" Elsa cast her eyes down once again, shamefully, knowing she was causing her mother a great deal of heartache.

"Well, it isn't an exact science, but there are several things that have been known to factor into it," Idun stared at the doctor with rapt, unwavering attention. "It can be caused by stimulants – caffeine, or narcotics – which act as triggers," Elsa mused; she drank the occasional caffeinated drink, but she had never tried anything else akin to what the doctor had mentioned, "a lack of assertiveness as well; some studies have shown that individuals who live a passive lifestyle are more prone to panic attacks," The blonde gave pause; she was definitely the strong silent type, and most definitely avoided confrontation wherever she could, "it can also be brought about by pre-existing conditions or phobias," Elsa was not aware of previous conditions, but she certainly had her share of phobias, who doesn't? "As well as several other possible causes; I can provide you with a pamphlet on the condition itself, if you'd like."

Without a second thought, Idun gave a curt nod. "If you'd please."

Elsa was silent for the remainder of the visit; following a few exchanged words, and her mother receiving several more papers on panic attacks and anxiety disorders, they were ushered out of the room. Side-by-side, they walked down the hallway and re-entered the waiting room, where Idun excused herself for a moment and walked to the front desk.

On her own, Elsa shifted, eyes scanning the empty seats and play area in the waiting room. She had a lot to digest, and her mind was running a mile a minute, but her ever sullen expression masked the inner turmoil in the young woman's mind.

"Elsa," The blonde perked up, raising her eyes from the ground to her mother, "let's get going." Nodding, Elsa tucked her hands into her sweater pockets, and followed after her mother out the door.

The air outside was stale, thick and humid. When they'd arrived in the morning, her sweater was appropriate attire for the temperature, but since then a few hours had passed and it was sweltering outside.

"You should take the sweater off," Idun commented as she stepped around and unlocked her driver's side door, "it's much too hot for it." Elsa fidgeted, nodding and quickly pulling her sweater over her shoulders and off her body entirely. Her mother smiled. "Better, hm?"

"Yes Mama," Elsa smiled sheepishly back at her mother, returning the affectionate gaze with her own awkward one. Idun slipped into her seat, and unlocked Elsa's door – at the front passenger's side – with a click of a button. Hurriedly, the blonde slid into her own seat, folding up her sweater and laying it on her lap.

"Did you want to get something to eat on the way home?" Blue eyes met teal, and Elsa hummed consideringly.

"Could we get ice cream?" She asked, her voice slightly louder, as she felt more comfortable in the familiar vehicle with her parent.

"Sure baby, we could do that," The brunette replied, turning her key and starting the engine, looking back over her shoulder as she backed out and exited the parking lot. "We should get something for your father, and Anna." Elsa nodded.

There was a moment of silence, in which Elsa's eyes turned to the space between their seats, where her mother had rested her purse. The top of which was unzipped partially, revealing the two booklets which were nestled within.

Pearly white teeth sunk into the soft pink flesh of her lower lip, as Elsa gnawed absently. "I'm sorry for all the trouble," Her voice was meek, and Idun frowned without taking her eyes off the road.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Elsa," She assured, signaling her next turn, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a condition like this," Idun turned her head slightly and smiled, "the doctor said you're no different now, then when we came to see her this morning, remember." Elsa bobbed her head in a quiet nod.

If that's the case, why does something feel different now?

"You know," Agdar spoke, seated in his armchair with his eyes on the flashing TV screen, "staring out the window like that will not bring them home any sooner."

Anna scoffed audibly. "Shows what you know," She dismissed, "I can will them home if I want."

"Ah, yes," Her father chuckled, "with your powers. My apologies," He flicked through the channels, looking for something to watch, while his daughter jut out her lower lip and continued to stare out their living room window.

"I could have powers." She insisted, though her pout wasn't helping her any. Her father hummed a reply and settled on watching something on the Food Network.

"You could, I suppose," He answered absently.

"I could," Anna agreed softly, folding her arms on the backrest of the sofa, resting her chin on them as she watched cars whiz by on the road. She wasn't sure how long she'd been waiting, but it felt like forever, and she was about ready to call it quits when her mother's car rolled into the driveway.

Squealing loudly, Anna leapt off the sofa and ran to the door, causing her father to jump slightly at her sudden outburst. "Anna," He called after her, "calm down!" Ignoring her father completely, Anna skid to a stop in front of the door, and bounced excitedly. "Honestly," He droned, "it's like you haven't seen her in years, or something."

The lock clicked, and the door opened, Idun walking in with Elsa in tow. The redhead moved around her mother – greeting her briefly – and moved to throw her arms around her sister. Elsa's eyes flicked up in time to see a blur of strawberry blonde lunge at her.

"Ah–Anna, wait!" Elsa tightened her grip on the tray of Blizzards in her hands, tensing in readiness to be knocked down. To her surprised, the tray was ripped from her hands, as Anna leapt back inside the house and held the delicious icy treats above her head.

"They brought ice cream!" She cheered, jumping up and down on the spot.

"Anna," Idun spoke sternly, while removing her shoes, "don't bounce like that, you'll drop it." Immediately, Anna stilled, turning to face her mother.

"Sorry Mama," She smiled widely, "which one is mine?"

"The triple chocolate brownie one," Elsa answered, moving around her mother, "one of them, anyway." The redhead grinned and set the tray down on the nearest table, pulling out her own Blizzard, along with Elsa's, handing one off to her sister with a wide grin.

"How'd your appointment go?" She asked curiously, jamming her spoon into the chocolaty soft serve. Elsa held her own treat tightly and stared down at it. After two generous spoonfuls of ice cream, and no answer, Anna raised her eyes and stared expectantly. "Elsa?" The blonde raised her head at her name, and forced a smile.

"It went okay," Anna walked over, hooking one arm around Elsa's, coaxing her sister to follow her lead.

"Let's go sit upstairs," She smiled sweetly, tugging on their joined arms. Elsa moved with her easily, ascending the staircase and walking towards Anna's bedroom, where she was quickly tugged inside. The redhead kicked her door shut with her foot and stuffed another spoonful of her icy treat into her mouth. "Mmm–so," She began as Elsa made her way to her sister's bed, sitting. "What did the doctor say about the whole frea–erm, thing that happened?"

Elsa stuck her spoon into her ice cream, spinning it around the cup. "That I had a panic attack," She answered timidly, "and she gave Mama a bunch of booklets on the condition and there's a questionnaire I need to fill out and send back." Anna dropped unceremoniously into her computer chair, turning to face her sister as another spoonful of chocolate soft serve popped into her mouth.

"Do you feel better knowing what it is now?" The younger sibling inquired, spinning her own spoon around inside her cup.

"A little," Elsa answered softly, eyes on her ice cream, "but I'm not entirely sure how I feel." Anna raised her head, eyes on her sister's unreadable expression, and she frowned.

"Elsa, you know," Anna stood, walking over to drop down beside her sister, pressing affectionately into her side, "no matter what I'll be here. I can take care of you, okay?" The blonde smiled, but couldn't help but giggle.

"Anna, I'm twenty-one, and you're eighteen, I think I should be taking care of you." She insisted. Anna shook her head.

"I think the whole sibling thing makes it a two-way street," The younger of the two quipped, "so we take care of one another."

"Alright, fine," Elsa yielded, "and your ice cream is melting." Anna's teal eyes widened animatedly, and she quickly raised the cup, licking the rim of the mouth before pouting down at her now much more liquidy dessert.

The blonde smiled, freeing a hand from her own cup to reach out for her sister's, wrapping her fingers around it. "Here, let me…" Anna's eyes lit up excitedly as her hands slid down the cup, watching the blue light and frost that her sister's fingers emitted, flash freezing her ice cream back into a solid state.

"Thanks Elsa," Anna crooned, turning her head and press a chaste kiss to her sister's pale cheek, "saviour of my ice cream." Elsa smiled sheepishly.

"I try," She answered, gently pressing back into her sister's side, now digging into her own ice cream. The two sat together as they devoured their chocolaty treats, while Anna talked – and gestured wildly – about her day at school. Elsa listened happily, nodding when necessary, happily enjoying her ice cream.

"And that's when Kristoff broke his bicycle." She concluded and Elsa laughed.

"He's not hurt though, right?"

"Bruised his pride, I think," The redhead grinned, "but I told him he couldn't ride his bike down those steps. He never listens to me."

"Or takes it as a challenge, but you'd know all about that," Elsa bumped her sister gently with her hip, setting her now empty cup beside her sister's, on the bedside table.

"I can never turn down a challenge," The strawberry blonde insisted, puffing her chest and raising her nose high into the air, which elicited another laugh from the elder of the two.

"Yes, I know," Elsa grinned, "and how many times has that gotten us into trouble?"

"Once or twice, tops," Anna lied, knowing full well how much trouble she'd dragged the two of them into through their childhoods and teenage years. "But you'd always stick by me."

"I suppose that isn't entirely a bad thing," The blonde mused, turning her head to kiss Anna's jaw lovingly. "If you hadn't been dared to kiss me at Rapunzel's party…"

The redhead shivered, memories flooding back of that hazy night two months ago. She'd only had two or three drinks, at most, and Elsa, ever the good big sister, was trying to slow her down. When her attention had turned from drinks to games, the blonde was almost relieved.

She followed her baby sister like a hawk around the party, sitting beside her as they joined a round of Truth or Dare. It started out harmlessly enough, with a few mundane and downright childish dares being tossed around, so Elsa had settled into a fairly comfortable state.

That was, of course, until it came to Anna's turn. Kristoff, the redhead's so-called best friend (Elsa had been seriously questioning this at the time of the dare), decided in his drunken state that he wanted to see the Alstad sister's kiss.

After a bit of goading, and several pleas, Anna had easily succumb to the peer pressure and tugged Elsa into a hard, sloppy kiss. Between the loud wolf calls and obnoxious whooping, each sister managed to focus on the taste of the other's soft lips against her own.

When they broke apart, their cheeks were flushed and the entire party erupted into a roar of congratulations. That night Anna had become the champion of dares, and to this day her victory has yet to be topped.

But that wasn't to be their last passionate kiss. Rather, they shared a second together in the upstairs bathroom when they snuck away; a third in the garage of the cousin's house on their way out; and two more on the way home.

Since then, they'd shared several sober kisses, all of which have been kept secret.

"I love you," Elsa cooed softly, her cold breath tickling the redhead's hot cheeks. "So much."

"I love you too, Elsa," Anna replied softly, reaching down to tentatively brush the top of her sister's hand. Reflexively, the blonde flinched, drawing away from the touch. Undeterred by her sibling's usual reaction, Anna followed after and gingerly took Elsa's hand in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Lying back in the bed, both girls relaxed side-by-side, with their fingers still entwined; Elsa closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, while Anna turned her head to look down at their hands. "Is it selfish of me to like that I'm one of the only people you let touch your hands?" The ginger asked quietly.

"No," Came Elsa's immediate response as she smiled, lids still tightly shut, "and I'd say only. I don't really let Mama or Papa touch my hands either." The redhead smiled and rolled onto her side, nuzzling her sister's shoulder.

"I know this whole day has been a lot for you," Anna spoke, "but I promise we'll be okay, so long as we're together, right?"

"Right." Elsa hummed, yawning tiredly.

"You can go to sleep, I don't mind." Teal eyes remained fixed on Elsa's face.

"You'll stay here too?" The blonde murmured. With an affirmative nod, Anna snuggled tightly against her sister's side, and pillowed her head on Elsa's shoulder.

"Always."

Downstairs, the girls' parents sat together in the living room, eyes on the flickering television screen.

"Do you think it's our fault?" Idun asked suddenly, her hands folded on her lap. Agdar hummed at first, not quite catching the entire question.

"I'm sorry?"

"Do you think it's our fault," Idun repeated, turning to her husband. The man squared his jaw and kept his eyes trained forward. "First the ice and snow, and now this…"

"It isn't," He replied softly, his voice low, "there is nothing wrong with either of our daughters."

"What if she accidentally exposes herself?" Idun's eyes were wide, fearful, "They'll take our baby away."

"No one will find out," Agdar reassured, finally turning to his wife, extending his hand to press atop her hands, "she's very smart, she can conceal it, and this doesn't change anything."

"How can you be so confident?" Teal eyes welled with unshed tears. "I can't lose either of them."

"And you won't," The man replied softly, stroking his wife's knuckles with his thumb. "We'll keep our girls safe."

"We can't be with them always," Idun countered.

"No, we can't," Agdar agreed, "but Elsa has Anna looking out for her. She knows her sister's secret needs to be kept."

"Is that enough?" The brunette woman murmured.

"I hope so," Agdar answered, silence befalling them.