Kristene &
Kuzco
A Parody of the movie "Kate and Leopold"
By: Megan Clifton aka JessieofTR
Part I "The Choosing of a Bride"
(Author's Note: Ok, I've been watching "Kate and Leopold" alot, so I decided to do a parody of it. ^^ Don't flame me if it's too parodyish however. ^^ I'm trying to make it slightly different then the movie. But if you've never seen "Kate and Leopold," read it anyway! You'll love it! ^^)
The sun rose high over the mountains of Cusco, Peru. The marketplace was bustling with villagers and the palace glittered beneath the sunlight. Not only was it busy outside the palace, but busy on the inside as well. Today was the emperor's twenteith birthday. That also meant that he had to choose a bride that night....
"The emperor will be in to see you all shortly...." A tall man with a long face and black hair nodded to a row of women, all dressed up in white dresses. This man was Emperor Kuzco's new advisor. His name was Kazkrof. Next to him was a very short man who was busy taking notes in his log. Kuzco had dubbed this guy the "Thing that Wouldn't Shut Up." (I use TTWSU for short.)
A while after, the doors flew open, and Emperor Kuzco, wearing his red robes and sun crown on his head, walked in. "Let's just get this over with alright?" He sighed heavilly and walked up to the women, looking each of them over. "Hmmm.....nope nope nope...double nope...no way....no how...aaaaand that's it!" He turned. "Thank you for your time ladies, but I must be going...I have a birthday to attend to."
The TTWSU stared at this, and headed the emperor off before he could leave. "Sire....you must choose a bride by tonight!"
Kuzco stared. "Who says?"
The TTWSU sighed. "It is tradition, sire....you must be married by your twenteith birthday..."
"Yeah, and what if I dun wanna BE married by my twenteith birthday?" Kuzco mocked him.
"I'm sorry, sire...but you must! Tonight there will be a party and you are to have a bride chosen by then to announce...."
Kuzco stared at him. Tonight? By tonight? How the heck could he choose a bride by that evening? He put on a pitiful pouty face and looked at his advisor, Kazkrof. "Can't you dooooooo soooomething!!?" He whined.
Kazkrof sighed. "Your grace...." he bowed respectifully. "I would like to help you in your time of need, but it is true, sire. You must have a bride by tonight or I'm afraid you will be....removed from your high ranking position..."
"Removed from your high ranking position?" Kuzco stared at him, looking confused.
Kazkrof shook his head. "You won't be emperor anymore, sir..."
"WHAT!? THEY CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! THAT'S EVIL-NESS!!!!!!!!!!!" Kuzco bellowed.
"Can we go now?" One of the girls asked, annoyed. But the three just ignored her.
"I'm sorry, sir....it's the only way....your duty as emperor is to..."
"...marry a bride and produce an heir to the throne...." Kuzco finished for his advisor, rolling his eyes. "I've heard that line about a million times now!!!" He sighed. "Alright, alright......leave me alone, then....I'm going to get ready..." He turned from them and marched out, muttering to himself.
As he was walking out, however, he bumped into someone. "WATCH where YOU'RE going!!!" He spat, but then looked at the man. He was strange looking. His hair was brown...you hardly saw anyone in Peru with brown hair. His cloths were much different as well. Perhaps they indicated he was from a far away country. Kuzco stared at him. The man's expression looked shocked. Kuzco figured it was because of him being an emperor. He just smiled. "Yes yes, my good peasant, you must have never met the great and glorious emperor before, now have you?" He grinned.
The man just stared at him. He opened his mouth, but didn't speak.
Kuzco raised an eyebrow at this. Not speaking to the emperor? This was an outrage! He didn't bow either.....how could anyone be so disrespectful around him? He would simply not allow it! "Well...." He scoffed. "If you aren't going to worship me, get out of my WAY!" He pushed him aside and continued walking.
The man stared after him, and when Kuzco looked over his shoulder, he was still standing there, but this time he was making notes in a journal of some sort. The quill he was using was quite different....not a feather at all. Kuzco stared. Now this was rare. This funny looking peasant knew how to write. He must have been from a far away country. He shrugged, and continued walking.
**************************************************
"Kazkrof...." Kuzco said, sounding depressed as he relaxed in his bathtub and Kazkrof laid out his cloths on his bed. "....why am I unhappy? I should be happy.....I should be filled with joy...I mean why not!? I have everything....I'm emperor....I can do ANYTHING I want...then....if I have all of that....why am I so unhappy?"
Kazkrof looked up at him, as he continued folding his white and yellow robes. "Perhaps it has to do with the choosing of a bride? Having forced to marry so fast can put pressures on a person."
"Maybe...." He sighed heavilly. "...maybe all of my emperor-ness is just catching up with me, ya know? I mean, being emperor is great and all.....but something's always missing. No matter how many THINGS I have...something is always missing from the stack....I dunno...I bet I sound stupid, eh?"
"No no, sire..." Kazkrof smiled at him. "Please, continue...."
Kuzco just raised an eyebrow and sighed. "...I mean...being emperor also has it's downs...like me...actually being FORCED to do something. Hence marry some snobby girl whom I don't know or don't love...."
"Perhaps, sire, if it's any conselation to you, it might not be so bad. You may actually find a pretty girl. One who is charming....different....smart and witty...not afraid to speak her mind. A very independent person....but also dependent. A girl who needs you. The girl that you've been looking for all your life." Kazkrof smiled at him.
Kuzco just stared at him, raising an eyebrow. "You're crazy, Kazkrof......nice and all, but crazy...."
Kazkrof just chuckled.
***********************************
That evening, the party was held in the palace ballroom. Millions of people had shown up from all around to find out who Kuzco had chosen for a bride. The thing was, it was evening, and he still hadn't chosen a bride.
He nervously glanced around the room. He didn't want to choose some snobby girl to marry, and he didn't want to lose his position. He could only think of what would happen to him if he lost his position as emperor. He could see himself...on the streets, begging for food. Like some....peasant! How could he ever go down to such a level?
But if he had to choose a bride.....He couldn't bear to think of some girl always bossing him around and telling him what to do. Not to mention having to bear getting married to her....and probably having to kiss her. And then....having to SLEEP with her!? Some snobby, evil freak girl....
"UGH!!!" The thoughts were unbearable. Kuzco put a hand to his head and tried to clear his mind. Alright, alright, calm down. It might not be so bad...
"Sire...." Kuzco heard a deep, familiar voice behind him, and turned to see his faithful advisor, Kazkrof. "Sire..." He spoke. "Are you alright?"
"Fine, Kazkrof...." Kuzco spat. "Yeah, I'm never better...."
Kazkrof just smiled in an understandable sort of way. "I see that you aren't well...."
"Of course not, Kazkrof!" Kuzco sighed and looked up at him. "Look, I'm sorry....just this whole bridal choosing thing has gotten to me....."
"I understand, sire...." He smiled. "If it makes you feel better, I've taken it upon myself to find a girl you could probably share a dance with..."
Kuzco raised an eyebrow at this, and a young girl behind Kazkrof grabbed his attention. She....was anything BUT pretty. She stumbled alittle as she walked to him, and then bowed, but fell to the floor. Kuzco took the oportunity to look up at Kazkrof, who mearly shrugged. The girl got back to her feet and bowed again, and then spoke. "It..it..it...it's an honor to meet you....yo..yo..your..hi-hi-highness..."
Kuzco nodded. "Yeah...pleasure..." He eyed Kazkrof and then whispered to him. "I think you need to work on your taste, Kazkrof.."
"It's just temporary, sir...just go and have fun and dance!" He smiled, as Kuzco rolled his eyes at him, and went to go dance with the girl.
As Kuzco danced with the young girl, however, he kept seeing that brown- headed, funny-clothed peasant. He was very suspicious, as he looked around the room, making notes in his log and taking out some weird looking device and looking through it. Kuzco couldn't help but watch him. He barely paid any attention to his dance partner. He noticed as the character slipped into the throne room, and he decided to follow him. He wasn't going to let any weird, suspicious looking peasant steal any of his stuff.
"Hold on a sec.." He set, letting go of his partner's hands and walking into the throne room.
The funny looking peasant was examining the throne. He watched as he took out the device again and held it up to his eyes, pushing a button on top. It flashed. Was this some sort of weird magic? Kuzco wondered. He approached him. "Um, excuse me....."
The peasant shot around, looking surprised.
Kuzco just stared at him. "Um...what are you doing? That's MY throne..."
The peasant opened his mouth, but didn't speak. Like he did the last time.
Kuzco rolled his eyes. "You're a very insulting person, you know that? I can have you thrown in jail for what you're doing. Now, answer me, you foolish peasant! What the hell are you doing in MY throne room!!!!?" Kuzco shouted, growing angry that this peasant wasn't speaking to him.
The peasant didn't speak again. Instead he started quickly walking towards the door.
Kuzco stared. This was madness! Now this peasant was running from him!!! "Hold on there! STOP!" He started chasing after him. "Come BACK HERE!!!" He rushed out the door, knocking into several people. "Excuse me..." He said, as he accidently pushed some girl aside and he continued chasing after the funny looking peasant.
They both fled out of the palace. The peasant seemed to be heading towards an alley in the marketplace. He was a pretty fast runner compared to Kuzco but that didn't stop him. He followed him in, and watched as the peasant came to a cliff. What the heck is he DOING!? Kuzco thought.
The peasant slipped on a pair of goggles, and looked like he was going to jump into the water below. Before he did, however, Kuzco caught him, but his foot slipped. Fortunally, he caught the edge of the cliff.
Oh, Inti! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna DIE! Kuzco thought panically.
"Let go!" He heard the peasant shout. Geez, his voice was different too. "Let go! It's alright!"
"Are you MAD!?" Kuzco yelled. "We'll be killed!!!"
"We won't....if you hurry and let GO!" He slapped his hand with the free one.
Kuzco couldn't help it. His hand was slipping. He finally let go and the two of them fell to the water below.......
By: Megan Clifton aka JessieofTR
Part I "The Choosing of a Bride"
(Author's Note: Ok, I've been watching "Kate and Leopold" alot, so I decided to do a parody of it. ^^ Don't flame me if it's too parodyish however. ^^ I'm trying to make it slightly different then the movie. But if you've never seen "Kate and Leopold," read it anyway! You'll love it! ^^)
The sun rose high over the mountains of Cusco, Peru. The marketplace was bustling with villagers and the palace glittered beneath the sunlight. Not only was it busy outside the palace, but busy on the inside as well. Today was the emperor's twenteith birthday. That also meant that he had to choose a bride that night....
"The emperor will be in to see you all shortly...." A tall man with a long face and black hair nodded to a row of women, all dressed up in white dresses. This man was Emperor Kuzco's new advisor. His name was Kazkrof. Next to him was a very short man who was busy taking notes in his log. Kuzco had dubbed this guy the "Thing that Wouldn't Shut Up." (I use TTWSU for short.)
A while after, the doors flew open, and Emperor Kuzco, wearing his red robes and sun crown on his head, walked in. "Let's just get this over with alright?" He sighed heavilly and walked up to the women, looking each of them over. "Hmmm.....nope nope nope...double nope...no way....no how...aaaaand that's it!" He turned. "Thank you for your time ladies, but I must be going...I have a birthday to attend to."
The TTWSU stared at this, and headed the emperor off before he could leave. "Sire....you must choose a bride by tonight!"
Kuzco stared. "Who says?"
The TTWSU sighed. "It is tradition, sire....you must be married by your twenteith birthday..."
"Yeah, and what if I dun wanna BE married by my twenteith birthday?" Kuzco mocked him.
"I'm sorry, sire...but you must! Tonight there will be a party and you are to have a bride chosen by then to announce...."
Kuzco stared at him. Tonight? By tonight? How the heck could he choose a bride by that evening? He put on a pitiful pouty face and looked at his advisor, Kazkrof. "Can't you dooooooo soooomething!!?" He whined.
Kazkrof sighed. "Your grace...." he bowed respectifully. "I would like to help you in your time of need, but it is true, sire. You must have a bride by tonight or I'm afraid you will be....removed from your high ranking position..."
"Removed from your high ranking position?" Kuzco stared at him, looking confused.
Kazkrof shook his head. "You won't be emperor anymore, sir..."
"WHAT!? THEY CAN'T DO THAT TO ME! THAT'S EVIL-NESS!!!!!!!!!!!" Kuzco bellowed.
"Can we go now?" One of the girls asked, annoyed. But the three just ignored her.
"I'm sorry, sir....it's the only way....your duty as emperor is to..."
"...marry a bride and produce an heir to the throne...." Kuzco finished for his advisor, rolling his eyes. "I've heard that line about a million times now!!!" He sighed. "Alright, alright......leave me alone, then....I'm going to get ready..." He turned from them and marched out, muttering to himself.
As he was walking out, however, he bumped into someone. "WATCH where YOU'RE going!!!" He spat, but then looked at the man. He was strange looking. His hair was brown...you hardly saw anyone in Peru with brown hair. His cloths were much different as well. Perhaps they indicated he was from a far away country. Kuzco stared at him. The man's expression looked shocked. Kuzco figured it was because of him being an emperor. He just smiled. "Yes yes, my good peasant, you must have never met the great and glorious emperor before, now have you?" He grinned.
The man just stared at him. He opened his mouth, but didn't speak.
Kuzco raised an eyebrow at this. Not speaking to the emperor? This was an outrage! He didn't bow either.....how could anyone be so disrespectful around him? He would simply not allow it! "Well...." He scoffed. "If you aren't going to worship me, get out of my WAY!" He pushed him aside and continued walking.
The man stared after him, and when Kuzco looked over his shoulder, he was still standing there, but this time he was making notes in a journal of some sort. The quill he was using was quite different....not a feather at all. Kuzco stared. Now this was rare. This funny looking peasant knew how to write. He must have been from a far away country. He shrugged, and continued walking.
**************************************************
"Kazkrof...." Kuzco said, sounding depressed as he relaxed in his bathtub and Kazkrof laid out his cloths on his bed. "....why am I unhappy? I should be happy.....I should be filled with joy...I mean why not!? I have everything....I'm emperor....I can do ANYTHING I want...then....if I have all of that....why am I so unhappy?"
Kazkrof looked up at him, as he continued folding his white and yellow robes. "Perhaps it has to do with the choosing of a bride? Having forced to marry so fast can put pressures on a person."
"Maybe...." He sighed heavilly. "...maybe all of my emperor-ness is just catching up with me, ya know? I mean, being emperor is great and all.....but something's always missing. No matter how many THINGS I have...something is always missing from the stack....I dunno...I bet I sound stupid, eh?"
"No no, sire..." Kazkrof smiled at him. "Please, continue...."
Kuzco just raised an eyebrow and sighed. "...I mean...being emperor also has it's downs...like me...actually being FORCED to do something. Hence marry some snobby girl whom I don't know or don't love...."
"Perhaps, sire, if it's any conselation to you, it might not be so bad. You may actually find a pretty girl. One who is charming....different....smart and witty...not afraid to speak her mind. A very independent person....but also dependent. A girl who needs you. The girl that you've been looking for all your life." Kazkrof smiled at him.
Kuzco just stared at him, raising an eyebrow. "You're crazy, Kazkrof......nice and all, but crazy...."
Kazkrof just chuckled.
***********************************
That evening, the party was held in the palace ballroom. Millions of people had shown up from all around to find out who Kuzco had chosen for a bride. The thing was, it was evening, and he still hadn't chosen a bride.
He nervously glanced around the room. He didn't want to choose some snobby girl to marry, and he didn't want to lose his position. He could only think of what would happen to him if he lost his position as emperor. He could see himself...on the streets, begging for food. Like some....peasant! How could he ever go down to such a level?
But if he had to choose a bride.....He couldn't bear to think of some girl always bossing him around and telling him what to do. Not to mention having to bear getting married to her....and probably having to kiss her. And then....having to SLEEP with her!? Some snobby, evil freak girl....
"UGH!!!" The thoughts were unbearable. Kuzco put a hand to his head and tried to clear his mind. Alright, alright, calm down. It might not be so bad...
"Sire...." Kuzco heard a deep, familiar voice behind him, and turned to see his faithful advisor, Kazkrof. "Sire..." He spoke. "Are you alright?"
"Fine, Kazkrof...." Kuzco spat. "Yeah, I'm never better...."
Kazkrof just smiled in an understandable sort of way. "I see that you aren't well...."
"Of course not, Kazkrof!" Kuzco sighed and looked up at him. "Look, I'm sorry....just this whole bridal choosing thing has gotten to me....."
"I understand, sire...." He smiled. "If it makes you feel better, I've taken it upon myself to find a girl you could probably share a dance with..."
Kuzco raised an eyebrow at this, and a young girl behind Kazkrof grabbed his attention. She....was anything BUT pretty. She stumbled alittle as she walked to him, and then bowed, but fell to the floor. Kuzco took the oportunity to look up at Kazkrof, who mearly shrugged. The girl got back to her feet and bowed again, and then spoke. "It..it..it...it's an honor to meet you....yo..yo..your..hi-hi-highness..."
Kuzco nodded. "Yeah...pleasure..." He eyed Kazkrof and then whispered to him. "I think you need to work on your taste, Kazkrof.."
"It's just temporary, sir...just go and have fun and dance!" He smiled, as Kuzco rolled his eyes at him, and went to go dance with the girl.
As Kuzco danced with the young girl, however, he kept seeing that brown- headed, funny-clothed peasant. He was very suspicious, as he looked around the room, making notes in his log and taking out some weird looking device and looking through it. Kuzco couldn't help but watch him. He barely paid any attention to his dance partner. He noticed as the character slipped into the throne room, and he decided to follow him. He wasn't going to let any weird, suspicious looking peasant steal any of his stuff.
"Hold on a sec.." He set, letting go of his partner's hands and walking into the throne room.
The funny looking peasant was examining the throne. He watched as he took out the device again and held it up to his eyes, pushing a button on top. It flashed. Was this some sort of weird magic? Kuzco wondered. He approached him. "Um, excuse me....."
The peasant shot around, looking surprised.
Kuzco just stared at him. "Um...what are you doing? That's MY throne..."
The peasant opened his mouth, but didn't speak. Like he did the last time.
Kuzco rolled his eyes. "You're a very insulting person, you know that? I can have you thrown in jail for what you're doing. Now, answer me, you foolish peasant! What the hell are you doing in MY throne room!!!!?" Kuzco shouted, growing angry that this peasant wasn't speaking to him.
The peasant didn't speak again. Instead he started quickly walking towards the door.
Kuzco stared. This was madness! Now this peasant was running from him!!! "Hold on there! STOP!" He started chasing after him. "Come BACK HERE!!!" He rushed out the door, knocking into several people. "Excuse me..." He said, as he accidently pushed some girl aside and he continued chasing after the funny looking peasant.
They both fled out of the palace. The peasant seemed to be heading towards an alley in the marketplace. He was a pretty fast runner compared to Kuzco but that didn't stop him. He followed him in, and watched as the peasant came to a cliff. What the heck is he DOING!? Kuzco thought.
The peasant slipped on a pair of goggles, and looked like he was going to jump into the water below. Before he did, however, Kuzco caught him, but his foot slipped. Fortunally, he caught the edge of the cliff.
Oh, Inti! I'm gonna die! I'm gonna DIE! Kuzco thought panically.
"Let go!" He heard the peasant shout. Geez, his voice was different too. "Let go! It's alright!"
"Are you MAD!?" Kuzco yelled. "We'll be killed!!!"
"We won't....if you hurry and let GO!" He slapped his hand with the free one.
Kuzco couldn't help it. His hand was slipping. He finally let go and the two of them fell to the water below.......