Just Gonna Stand There And Watch Me Burn

Elaine just got out of the shower when it rang at the door. She sighted as she took a towel, bound it around her body and went to open the door with wet hair.

She was quite tired since she didn´t sleep much since Brad left her. She was mad and angry, disappointed and sad and thats why she let him go this time. But inside it just hurter and she was crying like every day over him.

She met some guys since he was away, kissing and with one of her band she slept. When Brad came back she knew it would be a problem even he tried to ignore the pain it caused him to know her in the arms of someone else.

Out of this situation the last fight was caused and it still hurter her to think about it. She loved Shiloh and she loved him but it seemed something always kept them apart. It wasn´t the first time he left her without a word and yes this time she has been quite hard but what did he expected? She was a bad girl before they met and they´ve been bad as a couple but at least she knew they´ve been the most awesome couple that existed.

Elaine opened the door when Jacob stood in front of her. Jacob, her guitar player, the one she had an affair with since Brad was away. He touched her shoulders and kissed her lips to welcome her but she turned her head so that his lips just met her cheek. "Hey" she whispered as she hugged him slightly.

Thinking about Brad made it impossible to kiss him and she didn´t even like the way he touched her now. "Jake it´s… the wrong time to come here I was about to fix my hair and doing stuff so…" she looked around and shrugged "It would be great if we would just meet later okay?" she said and didn´t stepped beside to let him in.

"Oh Miss Fischer has a "I´m still thinking about my ex day" or what?" he asked a little pissed. Elaine knew he was right and he knew when she was thinking about Brad and he often tried to make her stop about it but she hated his tries. "Damn Jake you and me is just… physical okay? And let me think of who I want as long as I´m not doing while we sleep with each other." she said angry and shook her head. "Come on lets not fight okay?" she said cause she really felt week and not in the mood to. Jacob nodded and kissed her cheek again. "Okay babe then lets meet later. Call me alright?" he asked and she nodded and closed the door behind him.

Elaine leant her back at the door as she slipped down on the ground like this, burying her face between her hands, trying to hold her tears back. She didn´t know what to do to forget the pain of her heart but she knew she was missing him. So she took her phone and sent a message, not too obvious of course because she didn´t wanted him to know about her wishes. She was still mad and that meant she was too proud to ask him to come back. It was stupid cause she often lost what she loved over this but in her opinion he should ask her and not the other way around since he went away.

"Hey Brad. I still have some clothes and one key of yours here. I can sent it or you can come around to get it or tell me to bring it to you. I just wanna make sure I don´t owe you anything anymore and actually I do this. xx Elaine"

While she wrote this she felt it wasn´t was her heart was telling her but what her brain and the feeling of being too proud to go more steps into his direction. After a while she received his answer, the same way, of course, because he was the same. "Alright will come around in a few. xx Brad"

"Asshole." she said and threw her phone on the couch, getting up and into the bathroom. She turned the music on loud and tried to hide that she wished for more than those rare words but she turned this frustration into her dark make- up and rebel clothes. A quite short jeansskirt, boots and a black shirt with a big necklace. It was like if she wanted to show him she wasn´t hiding without him and she wasn´t broken but grown. It was stupid because at the moment she felt more broken than ever but her proud side didn´t allowed to show him.

Elaine walked a little nervous through her house, trying to keep her mind distracted when she played with Duke a little. When it rang she kinda tried to take some deep breathes and walked with a slight smile, which she checked in the mirror, before she opened. "Hey." she said distant as she looked one second up just to look at the wall then.

"Hey…" he said as he looked at her. It was like if she could feel his eyes on her but she knew if she´d look back she could´t act that cold anymore.

"Come in if you want I´ll just bring your stuff quickly." she said and shrugged as she walked inside the house into the livingroom where the bag with his clothes has been. When Elaine walked back she said Duke jumping around Brad and she sighted. "Duke come here. Stop making his pants dirty." she said and rolled her eyes when Brad lifted an eye brow. "I guess I never cared about my pants when it came to play with Duke but okay." he said and shrugged as he leant against the wall. "Just tell me if you want me to leave quickly again." he said acting so cool. Elaine looked up and kinda gulped inside because the way he stood there, running his hands through his styled hair, the way his shirt let her see his muscles and his fragrance filling the room made her dizzy in her mind and she had problems to find the right words.

"I… me… well no Brad it´s okay or I wouldn´t have asked you to come and pick them up." she said and shrugged, looking away quickly because she knew she was obvious around him so she had to keep her distance.

Brad knew about Elaines weakness, thats why he choose this fragrance when he came here, thats why he leaned against this wall like this even the way she tried to fight against her feelings hurter him. He knew she was mad and she had a right to and she was stubborn as an extra. But he hoped he could come here and she would… become weak a little faster. This way it felt like she really doesn´t wanted him to be here. He tried to keep his cool masque but it was hard since he had missed her a lot too. Why they both has been so damn stubborn? None of them wanted to make the first step even for different reasons. And both knew they just wanted each other even if they tried to hide from themselves and the other one.

"Elaine, stop acting like this, you know it´s not what you want." he said self-confident even he didn´t felt that much like it. But it was a try which normally worked.

"Oh what is it what I want huh?" she asked getting angry. She was very impulsive and he knew it and he thought it was sexy about her since it made her even more wild. "Oh come on I don´t need to tell you, you know that and it would be easy for me to turn this side out of you." he went on provocating her when she shook her head. "Shut up okay? I´m not in the mood for any games." she said and walked into the kitchen to get some water.

She hated how she felt her heart beating over his damn provocations which she realized. He knew she loved this asshole side sometimes but she didn´t allowed her to get weak.