This is a one-chapter story about Arwen after Aragorn's death.
I cannot feel. I do not understand. How can I be gone? I go from his last resting place, and all around me people are trying to talk to me, to comfort me. I cannot here a word of what they say. I am alone now, so alone. In silence, I make my way to our chamber; here I can release my emotions. I cast myself down upon the bed, and weep. I weep for myself, for my children and most of all for Aragorn. I know he would not want me to be sad, but I cannot help it. The sun goes down behind the mountains, and darkness creeps into the room, and into my heart. I am exhausted. My tears are spent, and I let the darkness take me. I fall down into it, and it wraps me gently in its folds, holding me lovingly as Aragorn once did. I know no more.
I wake with the dawn, but the sun no longer shows any affection for me. It hurts my eyes to look at and I must turn my back to it now, forever. I wash and dress before going down to breakfast with my children. They look as I feel. Their eyes are hollow, and any words that are spoken fall like ashes on the floor. I hardly touch my food. I cannot eat, not without him. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes, but I hold them back. My children must not see me like this. I must be strong, for them. The day passes slowly. I do nothing, except sit at my window and look out at the city. It is decked out in black, and everyone mourns for the loss we have suffered. It makes me angry. How can they know the pain that I am going through? No one loved him as I did! I try to banish these thoughts. He would not want me to be like this.
The days pass slowly. I remember nothing of them. Each was filled with pain and grief. The pain grows with each passing day. I smile weakly as I remember something my father once said to me,
"Why do you linger here when there is no hope?"
I had replied with,
"There is still hope."
What had I known then? All hope I had, had died and been laid to rest with Aragorn. Thinking of my father, I remembered his prophecy. He had been right all along.
"If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted. If Sauron is defeated, and Aragorn made king and all that you hope for comes true, you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you, no comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death, an image of the splendor of the kings of men, in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt, as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell, bound to your grief under the fading trees, until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent. Arwen, there is nothing for you here, only death."
I had cried that day, as I was now. I had thought that father just didn't want to lose me, that the grief would never come. But I was wrong. I want to get away from this place; I cannot bear to be here any longer. Everything reminds me of him, it is like having a healing wound opened again and again. Another part of me argues that I must stay for our children. I cannot leave them. But surely they are old enough to look after themselves now? I put that argument aside for now, and go down to discuss the future for Gondor with my children. Eldarion our son was to be made King in ten days, and there was much to discuss.
I keep myself busy each day with preparations for the coronation. I help to instruct Eldarion in many matters of ruling a kingdom, and make dresses for my two daughters. My children are the only things that keep me going. Without them, I would not have the strength to continue. My family has gone beyond the white harbor, and I will never be able to see them again. I feel so alone.
It is now just two days before the coronation, and I am sat in my room finishing off the dresses for my daughters. They are two of the best I have ever made. A servant enters my room and announces that I have two guests. I rise and follow her to the sitting room, puzzled as to who it may be. I enter the room and stop. Tears silently find their way down my cheeks and I run to the nearest of the two guests and hug him. He returns my hug, and murmurs words of comfort in my ear. I pull away gently and kiss him on the cheek.
"It is wonderful to see you once again Legolas of Mirkwood!"
I smile at him, and then turn to the other figure. Bending down I give him a hug as well.
"You too make this day a blessing Gimli son of Gloin!"
We spend the afternoon talking and catching up with each other. I have not seen either of the two companions for many long years and I have missed them dreadfully. Both are upset to have not seen Aragorn before he died, and they provide comfort for me in a way that no one else has managed to. The day is soon over, and we retire to our rooms to get what sleep we can. I have been unable to sleep now for many nights and soon I am up again. I go to one of the balconies, and stand there looking out at the world. I used to stand here with Aragorn on summer nights, but now I am alone. Grief comes upon me in a wash of tears and I weep for the end of his life. I hear footsteps behind me, and hurriedly dry my tears. A warm arm is placed around me, giving me comfort. I lean into Legolas and he hugs me tightly. He too loved Aragorn, but in a different way, so he understands the pain I am going through. We stay like this for what seems like an age, and a gray tinge comes to the sky. Together we watch the sun rise in a burst of colours, before he escorts me back to my chambers to ready myself for another day.
Legolas and Gimli stay with me at all times during the day, offering me as much comfort as they are able. I feel more alive than I have since his passing. They are the only things that keep the grief at bay. That night Legolas stays with me on the balcony again, and we stand in silence, looking at the beauty of the world.
The next day was the coronation. Eldarion is now king, and he looks as Aragorn did on that day so many years ago when he accepted the responsibility. In my heart I know that Eldarion will make a kind and wonderful King, just as Aragorn was. The day soon passes, with much celebration, but I can only feel sadness at the fact that Aragorn is not here to share the day with me.
***
Three months have passed since the coronation, and my grief is still here, though not as apparent as it was before. Legolas and Gimli have stayed with me all this time, but now they are readying to depart. They are leaving for the Grey Havens. Gimli has been granted special passage by the elves, and he will be the only dwarf ever to set foot in that land. I am filled once again with sadness as they come to bid me farewell. Gimli bows before me, but I raise him to his feet and hug him warmly. He retreats to give me and Legolas time to say goodbye. We move out onto the balcony, and talk briefly. When all has been said, he kisses me warmly on the hand, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Namarie," he whispers to me, and I hug him before saying the same to him.
They leave me, and I am now alone. I watch as they leave the city, and lift my hand in farewell when Legolas turns back to look up at me from the bottom gate. Tears run down my cheeks. The last of my friends left in Middle Earth from the third age are now going to depart from Middle Earth forever. I fall to my knees and weep once again.
***
It is autumn. I cannot bear to be here any more. Eldarion makes a wonderful King, and I know Gondor will be safe in his hands. There is nothing left to keep me here now. I say goodbye to my family that evening, and at dusk I take my horse from the stables, and ride through the quiet streets of Minas Tirith to the gate. They let me pass without question, and I am soon cantering across the fields of Pellenor. I have nothing with me. Just my horse and my black mourning dress and cloak.
I ride for days, riding only at night and resting my tired horse during the day. I keep to the banks of the river Anduin and ride hard for many days. Finally I come to my destination. Dismounting, I speak soothing words of advice and thanks to my horse, and tell him to head back to Minas Tirith by the safest road. Then turning, I walk under the eaves of the first trees of the wood. I walk there for many days, stopping to rest whenever I am weary. The woods are silent, but are otherwise just how I remember them. I come to the great gate of Lothlorien after many days of journeying. I cross into the heart of Galadriel's kingdom, but am now longer greeted by the sound of elves singing. The woods are quiet. Forgotten. No other elves shall ever come here and the trees are mournful at being left.
I wander alone. Silence pressing upon my ears. I would weep, but all my tears are spent. The silence of winter is upon the land, but it is an unnatural silence not one of resting, but one of forgetfulness. I cannot bear to be in the deserted city any longer, so leave and wander under the fading trees, bound to my grief. Long years pass, and still I am here. I want to leave this Middle Earth, but I cannot. So here I linger, lost and alone...
I come at last to Cerin Amroth, and here I may finally weep, for this was where Aragorn and I proclaimed our undying love for each other so many years ago. Overcome with grief, I cast myself down upon the mound of Amroth among the unfading grass and the yellow Elanor and the pale niphredil. I lie there and weep. I know not how long past as I lay there, but finally the darkness came and wrapped me gently in its folds. I know now the fate of men when they pass, they have a hall that they may go to, like the elves, and here I am happy once more. Aragorn is there, and I can be with him now forever more, no mortality to separate us. I cry for the last time, the tears of an angel.
I cannot feel. I do not understand. How can I be gone? I go from his last resting place, and all around me people are trying to talk to me, to comfort me. I cannot here a word of what they say. I am alone now, so alone. In silence, I make my way to our chamber; here I can release my emotions. I cast myself down upon the bed, and weep. I weep for myself, for my children and most of all for Aragorn. I know he would not want me to be sad, but I cannot help it. The sun goes down behind the mountains, and darkness creeps into the room, and into my heart. I am exhausted. My tears are spent, and I let the darkness take me. I fall down into it, and it wraps me gently in its folds, holding me lovingly as Aragorn once did. I know no more.
I wake with the dawn, but the sun no longer shows any affection for me. It hurts my eyes to look at and I must turn my back to it now, forever. I wash and dress before going down to breakfast with my children. They look as I feel. Their eyes are hollow, and any words that are spoken fall like ashes on the floor. I hardly touch my food. I cannot eat, not without him. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes, but I hold them back. My children must not see me like this. I must be strong, for them. The day passes slowly. I do nothing, except sit at my window and look out at the city. It is decked out in black, and everyone mourns for the loss we have suffered. It makes me angry. How can they know the pain that I am going through? No one loved him as I did! I try to banish these thoughts. He would not want me to be like this.
The days pass slowly. I remember nothing of them. Each was filled with pain and grief. The pain grows with each passing day. I smile weakly as I remember something my father once said to me,
"Why do you linger here when there is no hope?"
I had replied with,
"There is still hope."
What had I known then? All hope I had, had died and been laid to rest with Aragorn. Thinking of my father, I remembered his prophecy. He had been right all along.
"If Aragorn survives this war, you will still be parted. If Sauron is defeated, and Aragorn made king and all that you hope for comes true, you will still have to taste the bitterness of mortality. Whether by the sword or the slow decay of time, Aragorn will die. And there will be no comfort for you, no comfort to ease the pain of his passing. He will come to death, an image of the splendor of the kings of men, in glory undimmed before the breaking of the world. But you, my daughter, you will linger on in darkness and in doubt, as nightfall in winter that comes without a star. Here you will dwell, bound to your grief under the fading trees, until all the world is changed and the long years of your life are utterly spent. Arwen, there is nothing for you here, only death."
I had cried that day, as I was now. I had thought that father just didn't want to lose me, that the grief would never come. But I was wrong. I want to get away from this place; I cannot bear to be here any longer. Everything reminds me of him, it is like having a healing wound opened again and again. Another part of me argues that I must stay for our children. I cannot leave them. But surely they are old enough to look after themselves now? I put that argument aside for now, and go down to discuss the future for Gondor with my children. Eldarion our son was to be made King in ten days, and there was much to discuss.
I keep myself busy each day with preparations for the coronation. I help to instruct Eldarion in many matters of ruling a kingdom, and make dresses for my two daughters. My children are the only things that keep me going. Without them, I would not have the strength to continue. My family has gone beyond the white harbor, and I will never be able to see them again. I feel so alone.
It is now just two days before the coronation, and I am sat in my room finishing off the dresses for my daughters. They are two of the best I have ever made. A servant enters my room and announces that I have two guests. I rise and follow her to the sitting room, puzzled as to who it may be. I enter the room and stop. Tears silently find their way down my cheeks and I run to the nearest of the two guests and hug him. He returns my hug, and murmurs words of comfort in my ear. I pull away gently and kiss him on the cheek.
"It is wonderful to see you once again Legolas of Mirkwood!"
I smile at him, and then turn to the other figure. Bending down I give him a hug as well.
"You too make this day a blessing Gimli son of Gloin!"
We spend the afternoon talking and catching up with each other. I have not seen either of the two companions for many long years and I have missed them dreadfully. Both are upset to have not seen Aragorn before he died, and they provide comfort for me in a way that no one else has managed to. The day is soon over, and we retire to our rooms to get what sleep we can. I have been unable to sleep now for many nights and soon I am up again. I go to one of the balconies, and stand there looking out at the world. I used to stand here with Aragorn on summer nights, but now I am alone. Grief comes upon me in a wash of tears and I weep for the end of his life. I hear footsteps behind me, and hurriedly dry my tears. A warm arm is placed around me, giving me comfort. I lean into Legolas and he hugs me tightly. He too loved Aragorn, but in a different way, so he understands the pain I am going through. We stay like this for what seems like an age, and a gray tinge comes to the sky. Together we watch the sun rise in a burst of colours, before he escorts me back to my chambers to ready myself for another day.
Legolas and Gimli stay with me at all times during the day, offering me as much comfort as they are able. I feel more alive than I have since his passing. They are the only things that keep the grief at bay. That night Legolas stays with me on the balcony again, and we stand in silence, looking at the beauty of the world.
The next day was the coronation. Eldarion is now king, and he looks as Aragorn did on that day so many years ago when he accepted the responsibility. In my heart I know that Eldarion will make a kind and wonderful King, just as Aragorn was. The day soon passes, with much celebration, but I can only feel sadness at the fact that Aragorn is not here to share the day with me.
***
Three months have passed since the coronation, and my grief is still here, though not as apparent as it was before. Legolas and Gimli have stayed with me all this time, but now they are readying to depart. They are leaving for the Grey Havens. Gimli has been granted special passage by the elves, and he will be the only dwarf ever to set foot in that land. I am filled once again with sadness as they come to bid me farewell. Gimli bows before me, but I raise him to his feet and hug him warmly. He retreats to give me and Legolas time to say goodbye. We move out onto the balcony, and talk briefly. When all has been said, he kisses me warmly on the hand, his eyes never leaving mine.
"Namarie," he whispers to me, and I hug him before saying the same to him.
They leave me, and I am now alone. I watch as they leave the city, and lift my hand in farewell when Legolas turns back to look up at me from the bottom gate. Tears run down my cheeks. The last of my friends left in Middle Earth from the third age are now going to depart from Middle Earth forever. I fall to my knees and weep once again.
***
It is autumn. I cannot bear to be here any more. Eldarion makes a wonderful King, and I know Gondor will be safe in his hands. There is nothing left to keep me here now. I say goodbye to my family that evening, and at dusk I take my horse from the stables, and ride through the quiet streets of Minas Tirith to the gate. They let me pass without question, and I am soon cantering across the fields of Pellenor. I have nothing with me. Just my horse and my black mourning dress and cloak.
I ride for days, riding only at night and resting my tired horse during the day. I keep to the banks of the river Anduin and ride hard for many days. Finally I come to my destination. Dismounting, I speak soothing words of advice and thanks to my horse, and tell him to head back to Minas Tirith by the safest road. Then turning, I walk under the eaves of the first trees of the wood. I walk there for many days, stopping to rest whenever I am weary. The woods are silent, but are otherwise just how I remember them. I come to the great gate of Lothlorien after many days of journeying. I cross into the heart of Galadriel's kingdom, but am now longer greeted by the sound of elves singing. The woods are quiet. Forgotten. No other elves shall ever come here and the trees are mournful at being left.
I wander alone. Silence pressing upon my ears. I would weep, but all my tears are spent. The silence of winter is upon the land, but it is an unnatural silence not one of resting, but one of forgetfulness. I cannot bear to be in the deserted city any longer, so leave and wander under the fading trees, bound to my grief. Long years pass, and still I am here. I want to leave this Middle Earth, but I cannot. So here I linger, lost and alone...
I come at last to Cerin Amroth, and here I may finally weep, for this was where Aragorn and I proclaimed our undying love for each other so many years ago. Overcome with grief, I cast myself down upon the mound of Amroth among the unfading grass and the yellow Elanor and the pale niphredil. I lie there and weep. I know not how long past as I lay there, but finally the darkness came and wrapped me gently in its folds. I know now the fate of men when they pass, they have a hall that they may go to, like the elves, and here I am happy once more. Aragorn is there, and I can be with him now forever more, no mortality to separate us. I cry for the last time, the tears of an angel.