Sanae's Bread

This is a sequel to Nagisa's Dark Side. If you have not read Nagisa's Dark Side, read that before this.

It has been a week since I dismembered Sunohara and had Tomoya help me throw him into the dumpster. Three days went by before anyone even noticed he was missing; Tomoya finally got tired of him not answering the door of his dorm room and forced entry to find the room empty. Still, this isn't a problem at all. Sunohara was such a delinquent while he was alive, so everyone just assumes that he ran away. I feel both elated and guilty. I eliminated my threat, but… Sunohara is dead now. Tomoya seems so sad without his friend. I try to talk to him, and he pays attention for a while, but then he zones out. I know he misses his friend. The guilt is getting to me. I hurt the person I love. I have to tell someone. I have to get this off my chest. But… I can't tell just anyone. I have to be careful. The person I tell has to love me enough that they won't want to hand me over to the police. Of course, the only people I know that care that much for me are my parents. I don't think my dad would believe me. "Oh, Nagisa, that's cute. Like you could ever be brutal enough to murder someone? Good joke, sweetie. That's my girl." He would say something like that. So I guess that leaves…

"Mom, I need to talk to you about something," I say quietly as I enter the kitchen. Mom is kneading the dough of her latest creation.

"Of course, honey. What is it?" she asks, taking some meat out of the refrigerator. Her newest bread must be a meat-bun.

"There's this guy at school that I like and well…"

"Is it the Okazaki that came over?" she asks.

"Y-yeah. How did you…?"

"I've seen that look on a face before. In fact, it was my own. I had that very same expression when I first began to develop feelings for your father."

"Really…?"

"Ah yes," Mom sighs happily, pausing in her cooking to stare blissfully into space. "I was quite the sneaky one in getting his attention too. Of course, he was the star of the drama club, so I was not without my rivals. But in the end, I won him over all of the others."

"I had a rival too…" I mutter.

"Oh my," my mother says, her tone changing into something more sympathetic. "I'm sure you'll get the best of her."

"Him," I correct her.

"Huh?" Mom looks confused.

"The rival is – was – a boy. Okazaki doesn't swing that way, so it's fine. But still… he spent more time with that boy instead of me."

"Oh," my mother nods slowly. "But you said 'was', so that means your rival is no longer an issue?"

"That's right," I mutter.

"Good job, Nagisa!" she cheers me on. "Go on, tell me what happened dear."

"I… He's missing. Nobody knows where he is. Everyone thinks he ran away."

"Okazaki did? Or your rival?"

"The rival," I mutter. "Only I know where he is."

"Do you?" my mother asks, beginning to frown.

I nod slowly and gulp. "He's in the garbage dump," I say shakily. "All of his body is there, chopped into pieces and shoved into gym bags. I – I killed him." There. I have finally admitted it.

"Nagisa…" Mom says tonelessly, an expression of shell-shock and denial clouding her face. "Oh, my dear Nagisa…" I expect her to punish me, or berate me, or pick up the phone and call the police on me. But then she says, "You have it too."

"Have what?" I respond.

Then my mother does something I would not expect her to do in a situation such as this. She hugs me. "My poor, sweet, innocent Nagisa. Well… I guess you're not so innocent anymore." Her words lilt with a cadence similar to laughing. "Darling, don't worry," she soothes me. "It isn't your fault. It's simply a family illness."

"Mommy…?" I gasp, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Why is she acting so creepy?

"Shh…" she says soothingly. "It's alright. It seems my family's genes are just a bit twisted."

Now I'm scared. "You mean… our whole family has – ?"

"No, darling. Not the whole family. Just us girls. It seems to be connected to the females only and usually presents itself sometime near puberty. Of course, you were so sweet and innocent that I thought it had surely by-passed you. I suppose I was wrong."

"Mother?" I pull slightly away from her embrace and look at her through widened, terrified eyes. "Are you saying that you have also killed someone?"

"Oh yes, several times," she admits. "In fact, I still do." My heart thuds in my chest when she says this. "Why do you think my bread tastes so bad?"

I'm hyperventilating, my body going stiff as a board. "Mom… you bread is… your bread has…" I stare at the slab of red meat on the counter.

She nods slowly and releases me from the hug. "Human remains," she answers calmly. "Just what else am I supposed to do with the bodies? Disposing of them any other way is too risky. Honestly Nagisa, you're lucky your first victim was a delinquent. If you had killed an honor student who would never be suspected of merely running away, you would be in jail right now."

I clench my fists tightly and hold them over my chest, breathing heavily and backing slowly out of the kitchen. "Mama…" my voice is barely a whisper.

"This couldn't have happened at a better time," she says smiling, opening her arms to me. "I'm nearly out of ingredients. Tonight, we can go collect them together." I take another step back as she once again kneads the dough. Pulling out a knife, she chops the meat into small cubes. "It will be a nice evening of mother-daughter bonding time." She smiles cheerfully.

I run out of the kitchen and throw myself into my bedroom. Sitting against the wall, I hug my knees to my chest and try to breathe normally again. What am I supposed to do? I can't report my mother to the police without confessing my own crimes. And she wants me to help her kill people? My family is some kind of murder syndicate? And the cannibalism… I shudder. I can't cope with this. I simply cannot cope with this.

You can't cope with this, says a voice in the back of my mind, but I can. Embrace me, Nagisa. I am your destiny. I am your fate. You can try to escape me, but you will never be able. I am as much a part of you as your lungs or your feet or your veins. Come Nagisa. Come and embrace your lineage. Come and feel the joy of the blood on your hands - the flavor of victory in your mouth.

"Who are you?" I ask hesitantly.

I am what you've suppressed for the past four years; I am your deepest desires. I am your fate, and I will take you over now.

I feel giddy. My brain feels fuzzy and full of pleasure. I can't hold it in; I begin to laugh.

"Nagisa!" My mother calls from the kitchen. "Please be ready. We'll go to get those ingredients as soon as these buns are done."

"Yes, mother," I whisper hoarsely. "I will help you." I look up from my lap, and I smile.