All right, so I don't know where this came from. I was writing my story Star in Your Sky and a conversation got out of hand, but I like it so... here we go :)

A quick background: Edward is very old and he's a little quirky. He and Bella are travelling together.

"Vampires aren't alive to begin with," Edward said, "We shouldn't even exist."

Caught off-guard, I frowned at him. "What? Of course you're alive."

He gave me a look and then took my hand suddenly, pressing it against his chest. "Do you feel a heartbeat?"

The sudden proximity startled me. "No..." I stuttered.

"Can you disassemble me? Will I die if you do that?"

"I guess you wouldn't." His questions were starting to make me feel very disturbed.

"You took AP biology, didn't you? Can you tell me the six criteria of a living organism?"

I froze. The last time I sat in biology class was eons ago.

"I..." I racked my brains. "I honestly can't remember."

"Come on, Bella." His gaze was piercing and, feeling like a kid under a schoolteacher's stare, I scrambled for my scattered remnants of knowledge.

"Living things reproduce..." I said slowly, "They grow. They use energy..."

"Exactly. Vampires only have four on that list right now. Using energy, being made of cells, responsiveness and adaptation. We're a little like viruses, neither living nor non-living."

"Why are we talking about this?" I asked, feeling the beginnings of a headache.

"Because we were talking about the necessity of killing. Living things kill to sustain themselves. But us? I wonder if we need to."

"What are you saying?"

"I wonder if the thirst for blood is a real need or just an imaginary urge that can be overcome altogether."

"What, have you tried? Are you into Buddhism or something? The whole 'starve yourself' philosophy?" I asked, wondering if he was slowly going off his rocker.

He looked amused. "Buddhism is about letting go of your worldly desires to reach enlightenment, not starving yourself."

"Yes, but in your case you're talking about starving yourself," I said.

"What if the starvation is imaginary? What if we could go on, without blood?"

"I don't know. Who do you think I am? Socrates?" I stared at him.

He laughed. "I'm sorry. Living for too long can make you think of the strangest things."

"Well..." I thought about that. "It is interesting though. Following your train of thought, I wonder how vampires evolved. I mean with those abilities of yours, maybe you guys were failed alien experiments from another planet."

He laughed again. "Seriously, Bella?"

But now that I'd started, I couldn't stop. "But I don't think I'm too far off, actually," I continued. "It makes sense. The rest of space is pretty uninhabitable, compared to Earth. You guys don't need oxygen. You're probably resistant to extreme heat and cold and you're fast and strong, so you can probably escape all the hurricanes or storms in the other planets that would kill humans. Your only weakness..." I paused. "is fire. So I'm guessing you're from a cold planet with a very distant source of heat."

"Whoa, we're getting all science fiction now."

"No, but listen," I said, "I'm trying to answer your question. Blood. What's in it? Serum, protein and iron. Iron. That's present in cold planets. Have you tried chewing metal? Maybe that might work out."

"You're batshit crazy. You're crazier than I am."

"Hey, you started it," I said, aiming a poke at his waist. He dodged before I managed, chuckling.

"But seriously, have you tried? Iron even kind of smells like blood."

"Bella, I will not chew on strange things for your amusement."

I shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'd try though if I ever become a vampire."

"I'll just sit back and wait then," he murmured.

Author's note: This was really fun to write. What do you guys think? :D