A/N: because I am such a sadistic person I wrote a sad story. Prepare yourself for feels and tears...
PS: most of this story is told through flashback (which are in italic) so y'all would understand the present. (and yes, this story is loosely based on Carrie Underwood's song Just A Dream)
Just A Dream
Sock sighed leaning his head onto Jonathan's shoulder while holding his hand, their fingers intertwined. He's trying to enjoy this moment they had but the thoughts bouncing around his head wouldn't let him. Jonathan was being deployed to Afghanistan tomorrow; this was basically their last night. Part of Sock wanted Jonathan to renounce and stay here but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Sock understood why his boyfriend did it, enlist in the military, he was doing it to support his mom and doing what his father before him did too. Sock just wished he didn't have to go.
A brush of fingertips on the brunet's hair pulled him out of his reverie. "Stop that, stop worrying yourself, I'll be fine. Be back before you know it."
Sock looked up at those blue eyes he loved so much. His lower lip quivered and he bit it to make it stop. He leaned forward and kissed Jonathan instead to give himself time to stop the sudden lump that's formed in his throat. What started as a soft, short kiss transformed to a passionate, desperate kiss and Jonathan had to pull back and framed Sock's face with his hands.
"What's wrong Sock?" those same blue eyes clouded in concern. The blond teen with his now short military haircut brushed their lips together to soothe the other teen in his arms. "It's okay Sock. I'll be alright."
A hiccup escaped Sock's lips as his throat constricted and his eyes began to sting. Sock was trying to show a brave face but it was crumbling while his eyes watered and felt the tears roll down his face. "I-I can't." Sock choked out as Jonathan brushed the tears away with his thumbs, "I…I don't want you to go. I'm afraid… I'm afraid you'll—."
"—Sock, baby, it's alright, it's okay." Jonathan stroked his boyfriend's face to calm him. "I'm not going to let anything happen to me. I'm going to come back. To you and Mom. I love you Sock and I'll do everything I can to come back to you."
"Promise?" Sock whispered the air halting between the two.
Jonathan smiles warmly down at him, "Promise." The green eyed teen laughed in relief, tears still threatening to fall and kisses the love of his life again.
Clinging toward each other they made out on the bench swing in the backyard. Fingers brushing each other's hair and caressing skin the air around them heating up. Jonathan pulled back before it became indecent and his mom could walk by and see. Sock let out a moan in protest for the sudden lack of body heat but Jonathan tugged him off the swing and ushered them inside to continue what had started outside back in their room.
The knock on the door was what jarred Sock back into the present. The wooden door opened and a familiar face poked her head in. The stress from her husband's time in the military and then having her own son enlist was etched on her face. Jonathan's mother looked at the young man sitting on the bed giving a quick assessment. Letting a small breath out she entered the room putting a hand on his shoulder.
Glancing up at her blue eyes Sock answered her silent question and stood up. Nodding she left the bedroom and Sock took a glance over the room while he adjusted his black suit and straighten his tie before exiting.
Walking down the stairs Sock made his way toward the passenger's side of the car and got in. Mrs. Combs put the car in reverse and backed out of her driveway making her way toward the church. Resting his head on the window and watching the houses pass by Sock closed his eyes and remembered saying goodbye to Jonathan at the airport.
Saying goodbye was never easy, worse when you knew there was a bigger chance they might not come back at all. Even though Jonathan reassured Sock, and then later his mother, the teen still worried over his boyfriend's safety.
Many people sat around the gate area. Many other families were there with their soldiers who were dressed in their camouflage outfits, like Jonathan, waiting for their flight as well.
Jonathan and Sock sat side by side not holding hands, that damn 'Don't Ask Don't Tell' rule kept them from outwardly showing their affection. Mrs. Combs sat on the other side of Jonathan as she lean her head on his shoulder, they both were. Waiting for his flight number to be called they talked in hushed whispers taking comfort in these last few minutes before they had to say their final goodbyes.
When everyone started boarding, they stayed seated waiting until almost everyone left just wanting a few more extra minutes. Mrs. Combs, in tears, hugged and kissed her son goodbye telling him to take care of himself before giving the two teens some privacy.
Sock hugged Jonathan tightly not wanting to let him go and Jonathan returned the hug just as tightly pressing his face at the base of Sock's neck memorizing his boyfriend's scent. "I'll write letters to you." Sock whispered.
"Please do," Jonathan murmured back brushing his lips to Sock's soft cheek. "And we'll video chat whenever I can, alright?"
"Yes," Sock agreed bringing their lips together. They both kissed, Sock trying to convey what he was feeling while Jonathan tried to reassure him that he'll be back, safe and sound.
"I'll be back before you know it and when this is all over we'll be together, marriage and all." Jonathan kissed him again.
Sock laughed quietly, "Did you just propose to me?"
Jonathan laughed as well at the obscurity of it all. "I guess I did." The blond teen brushed Sock's bangs to the side cupping his face with his palm. "What do you say?"
Green eyes shined in happiness, grabbing the back of the blond's head he pulled them down for another kiss. "Of course I will."
"Okay then," Jonathan sighed as last call for his flight for boarding rang overhead. Kissing Sock again he promised that they'll get hitched and said goodbye to his mother one more time before boarding his flight.
Mrs. Combs and Sock watched him walk away their hearts heavy with sadness as they both prayed for his safety overseas.
The lull of the car brought back Sock's senses as they arrived at the parking lot. Finding a spot they sat in silence for a moment, Mrs. Combs letting a shaky breath out and flexing her fingers on the steering wheel. Relaxing her shoulders she took a quick glance at Sock next to her and nodded her head before opening her door. Sock looked down at his empty hands on his lap squeezing them together before, just like Jonathan's mother, exiting the car and walking up to her, who was waiting for him, and handing him a dozen roses.
They look at each other communicating with their eyes.
'Are you alright?'
'Yes, I'm fine. Are you?'
'Yes. …Let go inside then.'
Her blond curls landed on Sock's shoulders while her hand resting at the crook of his elbow. They make their way up to the gothic looking church looming in front of them. The church's stain glass windows and deep brown brick walls with the ivy vines creeping up the side of the building spoke of how many years this church had stood here, many decades before his own time and Sock knew many more decades after he'll be gone too.
For every tour Jonathan's served, Sock would send letters telling him of what's been happening over here and how he's working part-time and going to college. Jonathan would write some of the stuff happening over there too, nothing about the actual war, but some of the other soldiers in his platoon like: the jokes they played to pass the time. They always wrote how much they missed each other and Jonathan would ask Sock to take care of his mom while he was away.
Jonathan would also write to his mother asking how she's been, assuring her that he was well, and always asking to take care of Sock for him until he got back because he knew his boyfriend—fiancé—would get himself into trouble when he wasn't around to stop him.
It went like this for his first tour in Afghanistan while a few times, when he was able to, he would video chat with his mother and Sock. The second tour went the same as well with a small break when he went home for a few months to spend some time with them. And the last two tours he did back-to-back so he could finish sooner and returned home quicker.
Sock and Jonathan joked around sometimes in their letters trying to cheer the other up and two weeks before his time was up Jonathan managed to video chat with Sock. They talked about what was happening on their side of the world, asking how everyone was before Jonathan announced that in a little over three weeks time he'll be back home.
"Then I better get to planning the biggest homecoming party for you," Sock grinned.
"Please don't," Jonathan groaned, "All I want is to see you and Mom, maybe a few friends and family but that's all."
Sock pouted but he didn't feel all that disappointed, Jonathan was coming back home! "Deal. I can't wait to see you. It's been so long."
"Me too," he sighed, "I've missed you so much. Some of the guys here have been teasing me because of how excited I am about going back home. But I just really want to have you in my arms again so I can't blame them."
"I'm excited too." Sock grinned leaning closer toward the screen and whispering. "I can't wait to get you alone in our bed." The blush that bloomed on Jonathan's face got another laugh out of Sock.
"Sock," Jonathan groaned. "Now I don't want a party at all when I get home. Damn you, Mom's going to be pissed if we take a detour and arrive home a few hours late."
"I can always tell her you'll arrive a few hours later than you actually are?" Sock suggested but Jonathan shook his head laughing lightly at his antics.
"Don't tempt me," he sighed, "But don't worry I'll get home and you two can set up the party, okay?"
"Fine," Sock pouted, "I'll greet you in three weeks with a big ol' kiss that will make your relatives' blush."
Saying goodbye because Jonathan had to go Sock said, "I love you Jonathan."
Though in a hurry he paused and smiled warmly, "And I love you too, Napoleon Sowachowski," before signing off.
Sitting in church for the sermon Sock blinked up at the pastor, his limp hands on his lap holding a dozen roses. The tightening pressure on his chest was making him take a shaking breath in. He gripped the roses tighter not caring for the thorns that pricked his skin. He needed something else to occupy his mind than the rushing feelings swirling in his chest just below the surface.
He turned his head to the side taking a look at Jonathan's mom who for the last few years was like a mother to him too. His parents' didn't exactly disowned Sock for his sexual preference but they weren't accepting either so after he turned eighteen he moved into the Combs' household. These last few years with Jonathan overseas he finished college and grew closer to his soon-to-be mother-in-law.
She was trying to keep it together, holding back her tears and Sock felt his throat constrict for her pain. He reached over to her to grab her hand in comfort and turned his head forward when he saw someone walk up to the podium to speak…
Still getting everything ready for the homecoming party, some guest had already arrive early and Sock was bouncing everywhere trying to get everything perfect. Jonathan said he didn't want either one of them to pick him up at the airport so they anxiously waited for him back home getting the last few things ready when there was a knock at the door. Sock, excited, raced to the door since Mrs. Combs was busy setting up the food.
Grinning, Sock opened the door wide to fling himself to Jonathan's arms when he stopped short because the uniformed man wasn't Jonathan. Confused he asked if he could help him when the soldier handed him an envelope. Looking down at it Sock opened it and unfolded the letter and began to read it.
Dear Mrs. Combs,
The Department of the Army deeply regrets to inform you that your son, private third class, Jonathan Combs, of the U. S. Army was killed in action in the performance of his duty and in the service of his country. The department extends to you its sincerest sympathy in your great lost.
Sincerely...
He couldn't read past that the tears in his eyes making it too blurry to read anymore. The lump in his throat closed up stopping the anguish cry that wanted desperately to escape and he collapsed to the ground. The tears running freely down his face as he clutched the letter in one hand. He vaguely heard over the roar of his ears the uniformed man giving his condolences but he couldn't be sure. Sock felt soft familiar hands cupping his shoulders asking what was wrong and he could only pass the letter to her.
He knew when she figured out what was wrong when she gasped tearfully and felt her trembling hands land back on him as they both distinctly reached out to one another. Jonathan was gone. He was gone forever… echoed between the two of them.
He gripped tighter to Jonathan's mother as they both cried barely registering the other guest there, too busy in their grief to be much use to anyone.
Listening to the eulogies Sock finally broke down crying, the walls he had in place crumbling. He finally looked to the center of the church that he'd been avoiding since he'd entered the church. He saw the sealed coffin, empty because they couldn't get his remains home. The IED took many of the men that were stationed with Jonathan that last day. There wasn't much they could retrieve and that made more tears fall down. Jonathan couldn't come home now; he was forever going to be overseas. The promise he made to come back was broken.
At the cemetery, Sock stayed by Mrs. Combs' side as they buried him as a fallen soldier with other men in uniform as the palm bearers. One uniform man past to Mrs. Combs the only thing they could retrieve, Jonathan's dog tags, burnt and dented.
Holding onto it for a moment she placed it in Sock's hand knowing he was grieving too though the army didn't realized. When they folded the flag up, they passed it to her. Unselfishly she tried to place it in Sock's arms but he shook his head. She should have something as well. He lost his fiancé but she lost her son. Nodding in understanding, Mrs. Combs hugged the last thing of Jonathan's as they heard the trumpets' of the military band.
More tears slid down their faces as the guns began to fire. It felt like each shot was piercing Sock's heart. All he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry. Or go back in time and stop Jonathan from enlisting.
With the last shot they placed their flowers on the casket before it was lowered into the grave.
Clinging onto each other, Sock gripped tight onto Jonathan's dog tags letting it bite onto his skin needing to know this was real even though all he wanted, wishing, hoping, praying that this was all just a dream.
A/N: if you are crying, then I did my job correctly. But the good news is that in less than 3K words I got that reaction out of you. ...Well... it's good news for me. Sorry. But I did warn y'all.