Maybe a one shot, maybe going further. Depends on whether people like it, so if you want more don't forget to review! Thanks :)
Disclaimer: Animorphs belongs to the lovely Ms Applegate. This is purely done for fun!
The private musings of Esplin 9466
Hosts
A lot of Yeerks end up quite attached to their hosts.
I mean yes, they are always an inferior species and there to serve and generally hate our guts and everything. But you get kind of fond of what becomes 'your' legs and 'your' arms etc.
Maybe not if you have a Taxxon host. I think it would be pretty hard to come to love being a Taxxon. But imagine if you're a Hork Bajir! Who wouldn't love being strong and powerful and dangerous? And the better your host is the more fond you get of it. You want to keep it in peak condition. It's comfortable, like a getting back into an old Bug fighter you used to pilot. All the controls are exactly where you remember them.
And it's kind of how you come to view yourself.
So Yeerks with human or even Hork Bajir hosts get, as I say, quite attached to them.
Imagine how I feel.
I have the bestest bestest host in the entire galaxy!
I have an Andalite host!
THE Andalite host.
And yes, he is really whiney and really superior and super annoying but I don't care in the least because I am the only one. It'd be like having a private ship with Jacuzzi and bar and personal masseuse and complaining about the decor on the inside being bad.
WHO CARES?
It's a status symbol! It's not meant to be comfy!
It means that I am Visser Three. Say it with me. VISSER THREE!
Except it means even more than that. Because there have been other Visser Threes, and there is Visser Two and that annoying dapsen Visser One above me. No one else has a host as sparkly as mine. I walk around and everyone stares at me and they're all so completely jealous.
I seriously love it.
And I can morph.
I mean, WOW! I can MORPH! I'm not only an Andalite, I can be whatever I want! Human? Pffff. I can be human. Hork Bajir? I can do that. Taxxon? Really? Well, if I really, really wanted to then it could be arranged. Gedd? What's the point? But it could be done. So what if we find some super new species that's even cooler than Andalites? Give me one minute alone with it and I AM it!
So yeah, I love my host. Not Alloran personally. Like I said, he's really boring and also quite distracting because he starts shouting at me whenever he knows I really need to concentrate.
Like, say we're fighting the Andalite bandits. I'm in there, in whatever shape I fancy (because I can MORPH) and I'm doing the whole evil thing where you go: Prepare to die Andalite scum! Mwahahahahaha! (My 'Mwaha' evil laughter can go on forever because I don't need to draw breath like human villains. Isn't that awesome?) Anyway, I'm totally stealing the show, when old whingey hooves starts up. You don't respect me, you don't appreciate me, you never listen to me, you never do what I want, you're trying to kill my people. Etc etc. It's seriously like being married! I wish the old fart would shut up. It's not like he appreciates me either! I'm trying to rule the entirety of humanity! I could at least get congratulations for having a good vision! Not many people's ambitions are so grand!
At least he can't claim I subject him to mediocrity.
There's always something about me in Yeerk Hello!
Last month I gave them tips on polishing your host's hooves. Which is funny, because no one else has a host with hooves.
MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Anyways, what I was trying to say before I totally distracted myself is that whilst I don't necessarily like Alloran, I am very, VERY attached to having an Andalite host.
So you can probably guess how I reacted when he got ill.
Well actually the first thing I did was laugh at him when he complained of having a headache. Awwwww! Has ooo got de sniffles? He didn't say anything back. I guess that should have tipped me off that he was below par. I mean, however sulky Alloran is feeling, he always has time to call me the son of the scum on the underside of the hoof of the universe.
But this time he just went all quiet.
And his headache was mega distracting! Even after I ground up three ibuprofens with my hooves!
And then we got a temperature.
I was just working happily at my computer when suddenly Alloran says: Feel my forehead.
My forehead, I said crossly. But I did anyway, and my hand came away all sweaty.
AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Iniss 226, my retarded personal assistant, came running in and started dancing in front of me like an utter idiot.
"What is it Visser? Are those mean old Andalite bandits back again?" I am always one second away from slicing off Iniss' head. He is almost as annoying as whingey hooves!
No you fool! I roared. Quick, feel my forehead! Iniss kind of hesitated, but it doesn't do to disobey your boss when he has a tail which is super duper useful at cutting subordinates' heads off, so he skipped up and kind of patted my forehead.
Well??
"It's a bit warm," he said cautiously.
I'm going to die! I wailed. I'm going to diiiiieee! I'm too young! I'm too young to die! NOOO!
"Perhaps it is just stress," the gibbering idiot suggested. I relaxed like half a centimetre.
Stress gives you a temperature?
"Well, I don't know for Andalites, not that you're an Andalite, although you have an Andalite host, so technically we should treat you like an Andalite," he babbled. I put on my 'speaking to the terminally stupid' voice.
Iniss, I am not an Andalite. I am a Yeerk with an Andalite host. Now get out and research Andalite diseases! Now!
He scampered out, and I tried to get back to my work. Well, it was actually a new computer game Visser Four had sent me. You have a dracon beam and you're in a shooting range, up against that dapsen Elfangor. It's so cool! Even though I actually ate him, it was super satisfying to blow his huge head off! There were really good visual effects, too.
Only my headache refused to go away. And it was getting really really hard to concentrate. And my vision was actually beginning to blur. I mean, only after two hours of shooting Elfangor!
Yamphut, whingey hooves said. I swear, he was practically giggling with happiness. I've got Yamphut! I'm going to die! I'll be free!
Shut up, I said crossly. But I was beginning to get scared. ME! Visser Three! I was getting all prickly and frightened! I could see into Alloran's mind, see what Yamphut was, although he was very helpfully reeling off the symptoms of Yamphut to me anyway.
Yamphut is not good.
It is not sniff sniff sick.
It is goodbye host sick! Goodbye shiny Andalite host!
And it was really beginning to look like I was seriously that ill.
You? Alloran blithered. It's me. I'm the one who's sick.
Again, shut up.
I was sick! Or rather, my lovely, lovely host body was. My unique host body.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Iniss came running. And he brought about five Hork Bajir. Perhaps he thought whatever was upsetting me would be fixed by five giant, blade wielding lizards invading my inner sanctum.
Nice try, retard.
After I had killed all the Hork Bajir I explained to Iniss the problem. I think I was quite rational, considering the circumstances.
Iniss my host is dying! I can't live without him! Make it better! Make it stop! Make it go away! AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!
Iniss had to hold my hand for like five minutes.
I was THAT stressed!
In the end Iniss went and got the top Yeerk surgeon, and made me explain to him what Yamphut is and what it does and how to fix it.
You have to do brain surgery to fix it.
Brain surgery!
On MY host!
THE HORROR!
In the end the surgeon suggested I take another host for a couple of days and they would try and fix the problem.
They called it 'maintenance'.
What am I, a dripping pipe? Alloran sniffed. But not very loudly, because he really was feeling quite poorly.
Don't die, I said. He laughed.
Would you miss me, Esplin?
I'd miss my lovely tail, I admitted. He got all huffy at that and after throwing out some insults (the usual - your mother was a dapsen poo etc) refused to talk to me.
I didn't want to leave my lovely Andalite body.
But I also didn't want to get in the way when they did brain surgery on him. I mean, ouch!
So I got out.
They gave me a human host. A woman with long black hair. She was also mega whiney, but I just ignored her. I was too busy getting worried about Alloran.
They strapped him to a table. But they didn't really need to. It was pathetic. He didn't even try to kill himself when I left him. He just kind of collapsed.
I was at his side instantly.
"Everyone, Alloran is your top priority. Drop your positions. Drop the invasion. If he dies, most of you will also be leaving this life, and then anyone who is left standing will be joining me in going home!"
They all looked kind of shocked. Like they were surprised I would call off the entire invasion for the sake of one Andalite. No harm in letting them know how deadly serious I was.
I was at his side every minute of every hour of the day. If he had sneezed I'd have been there with a hanky and a teddy bear. He didn't sneeze. He just got very, very hot and a bit delirious. He shook. He talked to his wife.
Psychologically I guess it was very interesting hearing what he said.
Whatever.
I was literally holding his hand throughout it.
Hey, it's not like I had a spare Andalite on me if this one didn't make it! And I'd worked really, really hard on stocking him up with all those morphs.
I distinctly recall sponging his forehead with a cool towel.
How angelic am I?
"You're such a beautiful host. Yes you are. Yes you are. So lovely. You're not going to die on me are you?" And when he didn't answer. I caved. "Please, please don't die on me. I don't like being human. It's fun for two hours, but two days and it's boring!" It really was too! I couldn't morph. I had to use dracon beams when I wanted to kill people! And I had to wear really annoying, constricting clothes, because when I took them off all the male doctors stared at me.
Alloran cranked open an eye and laughed at me.
Serves you right if I die. Then I would be free and you'll be stranded.
All my sympathy vanished in an instant.
I mean, he had used public thought speak and all the doctors must have heard. He'd practically told them all I was too scared to face the world without him. I grabbed the fluffy lamb I'd brought him and whacked him over the head with it. Several times. And then they told me he needed brain surgery.
I mean, what? There's no way I hit him that hard!
Oh wait, it was because his temperature had reached critical point.
Yeah.
They cut his head open. To get at the Tria gland.
It was seriously gross. I mean, I don't have eyes in my own body, so I'd never seen a brain before. I always thought it would be a nice light green. No. It was kind of grey and throbbing. And the Tria gland was seriously icky. All swollen and purple.
I fed it to one of the Taxxons to see what happened. It was really funny, because the Taxxon kind of vomited it up, and then tried to eat it again.
Hey, that amuses me!
But the important thing was my host was alive! He was alive and recovering!
Soon I'd be wearing my sparkly Andalite shoes again!
I killed the woman I'd been borrowing. She knew a bit too much about me for it to be comfortable. I mean, what if one of my subvissers infested her and we met and he knew about all the prayers I'd been saying to get my lovely host back?
AWKWARD!
I crawled back in.
Oh it was like putting on a favourite coat.
I'd never be mean to my Andalite again. I loved him so much! I loved him!
I see your bungling surgeons made the mistake of leaving me alive, he said as I got in.
Mwahahahahahaha! You thought you'd got away? Nono, whiney hooves, you are mine again! Miney miney miney!
Well maybe I wouldn't be that nice to him.
Old habits die hard.