The wind whipped my hair around my face momentarily blocking my view. The skaters glided and twirled along the ice seemingly with not a care in the world. Discreetly I turned to peek at my daughter. Her eyes were transfixed, in wonder at the magic of the people all wrapped in scarves and gloves dancing across the icy rink. I smiled to myself. Ah, to be young again and be amazed at the things that growing older gradually stole the wonder and magic from.
"Mommy I wanna!" I bit my lip, trying to hide the sadness from my face. As much as I loved watching I'd never actually learned to ice skate myself. At one point I had started to but...no that line of thinking was dangerous territory. I knew better than to go skipping down memory lane. I had a bad habit of stumbling and getting cuts and bruises, or worse.
"Not tonight honey. Let's go back to the room." Reluctantly my little girl took my hand and walked with me onto the busy city streets of New York. Every year I booked a hotel so Annabelle could see the amazement of the city during the holidays.
"Oooh lights mommy." Once again she had the power to brighten my world even when my thoughts went to it's darkest corners.
"Yeah see all the snowflakes." Her eyes sparkled as we passed the twinkling light-up decorations hanging on all the buildings. Despite my best efforts, and my daughter's childish glee, tears formed in the corners of my eyes and slid slowly down my cheek. I knew coming here every year would be hard on me but it just felt only fair Annabelle got all the advantages I could give her considering what she was missing. At this point it was getting late and the thought of cooking was exhausting. Gathering all my strength, I wiped away the tears, pasted a smile across my lips and scooped my daughter into my arms. "Hey, what do you say we get some pizza?" Belle squealed and clapped her little hands.
"Pizza, pizza." Still holding Belle in my arms I slipped into the pizza parlor across from our hotel and studied the menu. Honestly this was pointless since I already knew exactly what I was getting but for some reason I felt the need to take a minute to gather my resolve.
"Can I help you." The cashier took my out of my own thoughts and I stepped forward.
"Yes can I please have a small cheese pie." Without another word he turned and began preparing my order. With a sigh I sank into the first empty table and sat Belle on my lap. Her eyes were growing heavy and it seemed more increasingly likely I'd be eating alone. Not that that was new to me. Pedestrians crossed back and forth outside the window and somehow the repetition seemed to sooth me.
"Cheese pie!" I jerked and stiffly got to my feet, maneuvering Belle so as not to wake her up.
"Thanks." By now I'd lost my appetite but it was too late to just go home so I paid and quietly left. It was now snowing and the wind had picked up significantly. Shielding my daughter from the worst of it I hurried to the street corner, avoiding others rushing past and around me. I now regretted not wearing my winter coat even though it was mild earlier.
"We can worry about it on Monday." I'd only been half listening but that voice stopped my cold. Annoyed tourists swerved to avoid me. I didn't notice any of them. My whole world was focused on that voice and it's owner. Not possible. After everything I did to get away. Before I could think better of it, my head whipped around and scanned the faces everywhere within a fifteen foot radius of me. Finally my eyes locked onto him. Just as I remembered in those three years ago. Almost as if time stopped since then. Was it possible I was just imagining all this? Maybe I hadn't realized how tired I was. Or perhaps all those memories of the past had caused hallucinations. I closed my eyes and shook my head hoping to clear away the images my grief-stricken brain my creating. Nope, still there like an angel from my memories. For just a moment I simply couldn't move. My brain said walk, run, cross the street, do something but I was rooted to the ground. My feet refused to receive the message. The city life around me slowed to snails pace until I didn't even notice it existed. And that's when he chose to look my way at the same moment Annabelle cried, "hungry!"