Why does it have to be so hard?
By:DannyMessersGirl324iLOVEhim
a/n: 3 years ago 2day mii grandmother died of pancreatic cancer and I just wanted to do something for her. I don't own anything except for my grandmother…
CSI:NY
Sha
la la la la You used to call me your
angel I loved the way you felt so strong [CHORUS] You used to call me your dreamer [CHORUS] I know you're in a
better place, yeah I miss you I miss you
Sha la la la la
Said I was sent straight down from heaven
You'd hold me
close in your arms
I
never wanted you to leave
I wanted you to stay here holding
me
I miss you
I miss your smile
And I still
she'd a tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's
different now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you
go
And I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I miss
you
And now I'm living out
my dream
Oh how I wish you could see
Everything that's
happening for me
I'm thinking back on the past
It's true that
time is flying but too fast
But I wish that I could see your face, oh
I
know you're where you need to be
Even though it's not here with
me
I miss your smile
And I still she'd a
tear
Every once in a while
And even though it's different
now
You're still here somehow
My heart won't let you go
And
I need you to know
I miss you, sha la la la la
I
miss your smile
And I still she'd a tear
Every once in a
while
And even though it's different now
You're still here
somehow
My heart won't let you go
And I need you to know
I
miss you, sha la la la la
Whenever I hear this song it brings me back to the day when I found out that my grandmother died of pancreatic cancer. You see I was only about 12 years old when I found out that my grandmother had died. It was right after a recreation basketball game that I had played amazingly in. It was a time in my life that I will never forget. I'm sitting at my kitchen table with my parents on both sides of me. Mom on my right, dad on my left. 'When we left last night to go to Nanny's house last night she wasn't all that good. I'm sorry but she died last night.' My mother told me and I completely broke down crying. She was my last grandmother and then without another movement, she was gone.
I broke down the rest of the day, just crying in my room. I had another basketball game that day, everyone was saying how sorry they were and my dad told me I played like my grandmother was still alive. I didn't even notice. I completely blanked away. I never really understood how someone at the age of 62 could die of something so terrible that damages the person that it's affecting and the family. I guess you could say that's why I became a CSI so I can understand why that happens.
Pancreatic is the number 1 killer cancer. I never like knowing that. In school I would tell my teachers that I refused to learn anything about the pancreas. They never understood why. I guess to tell you the truth neither did I but I just didn't. Right after she died I had to do a cancer research project. The worst possible project that a teacher could've given me. But sooner or later I had to realize that I would have to learn about the cancer that affects the pancreas and the pancreas itself.
December 2nd is a date that will never leave anyone's mind in my family. It will always be there as a reminder. This is why I understand also why he has followed me here. Right now I'm sitting down staring at her grave reading the words over and over again. He sits down behind me and brings me into his chest with his arms securely wrapped around my front. I feel safe again, he holds me just as strong as my grandmother did when I cried in her arms. I loved her and I love him.
"Everything's ok angel, she's in a better place now. She's looking over you, making sure I don't hurt her baby and if I ever did which I won't she'd already be throwing the shoe down at me." And with that said Danny kissed the side of her cheek.
"Let's get back to work." Danny said.
"Just give me a second, alright?" and he walked away.
'I love you Nanny. I hope you know that. Danny Messer will never hurt me. You don't ever have to throw the shoe at him. I'll see you soon Nanny. I have to get back to work.' After she blew one final kiss to the gravestone and towards the sky, Lindsay walked away into the one pair of arms that she can now be comforted by and being strongly held by. She now understands why it has to be so hard. She will never forget that day when her friends had died but she will also never forget the day that her grandmother was taken away from her and her family at the age of 62. She knows why it was so hard. Pancreatic cancer is one of the most deadliest of all cancers.
CSI:NY
A/n-all I have to say is that I miss her very dearly. Everything I said about is true other than the story line of Danny and Lindsay. PLEASE HELP FIGHT PANCREATIC CANCER! Even though it passed, November is the month of helping to prevent and save people from dying of pancreatic cancer so please help other grandmothers or family members from dying from pancreatic cancer. Thank you, please review.
~DannyMessersGirl324iLOVEhim