Hal Emmerich was leaning back in his chair, not having much to do besides counting the crevices in the ceiling or watching the same episode of Naruto on his computer for the fifty-seventh time. He felt the cool breeze run right past his hair as the ribbons attached to the portable fan on his desk kept swiveling and waving left to right and right to left. A small Newton's Cradle was sitting right next to it, with its four magnetic balls dangling from their metallic strings. Emmerich took the ball on the far end of the cradle, held it back for a couple of seconds, and watched as the ball hit the ball next to it, causing a chain reaction hitting the ball on the other side.
The physics of it, (or of anything, really), mesmerized the man, who seemed to see the more scientific, complicated aspect of everything around him. There wasn't much for him to see, however; he knew that quite well, as he watched the Newton's Cradle do its work, going back and forth...back and forth...
All he could hear for the longest time was the clacking of the cradle and the buzzing of the fan next to it. Suddenly, however, a buzz from the intercom that hung above him made him perk up and forget about the nostalgic sounds.
"Yeah?" he stared up at the ceiling, adjusting his glasses.
"Hal Emmerich?" the automated-sounding voice coming from the intercom said his name.
"This is he."
"There's a package for you upfront."
"Uh..." he couldn't remember the last time he got anything in the mail…"Yeah. Okay. I'll pick it up in a minute."
The intercom shut off, and Emmerich reluctantly got up and left his office.
Walking down the hall, he was trying to think of what exactly would be in that package...maybe it was something he ordered online that he just forgot about. Perhaps it was some graphic novel he ordered straight from Japan and it just took forever to send. Or maybe that awesome hat he saw online hat he desperately needed to have. Or maybe...just maybe...it was a present from someone! Yet who would send him, an anime nerd whose IQ was way above average and pushing forty, anything? And what exactly would it be?
He soon came across the package. There wasn't anything remarkable about the package; it was just a plain cardboard box with his name written hastily in black marker on it. It was large, though, as it seemed it could possibly fit his body inside four or five time
s.
Emmerich braced himself, knowing quite well how much of a wimp he was; he was one of those people who would need help unscrewing a bottle cap from a regular bottle of water, let alone carrying a large package all by himself.
Like any self-respecting wimp, however, he was determined he could carry the package all by himself. He looked around to make sure no one was there to watch him potentially break something, bent down, and slowly picked up the box; he already began to grunt as if he was carrying a block of iron the same size.
However...he quickly stopped with the grunting, as he found that the box was already off the marble, not-so-sanitary ground.
"Whoa." he thought to himself. "That's...weird."
He kept believing it was as he soon found himself in his own office without much struggle at all; the trip there and back only took about two minutes or so.
Emmerich placed the package on his desk, slowly walking around it to see what it could possibly be. It was light...so say if it was a book or a glamorous hat...why would it be in a box so large?
He took out a pair of scissors, cutting the ends of the postage tape that kept the box closed. Then, he opened the box and peeked inside. His eyes widened. It wasn't a book or a hat at all...
It was absolutely nothing.
"Stupid kids..." he thought, thinking of the teenagers who lived downtown that pelted eggs at his car every Thursday and was also the reason why he got a call from "Pablo's Sombrero Casa" three times a week; he'd block the juveniles if he knew their numbers. He did, however, know the number of one of the teen's mothers. Maybe she could straighten them out. It was wishful thinking, though, as he knew that if she DID do something about it, (which was to him considered unlikely), he would possibly still have to hear about how his sombrero was ready for pick-up at Joe Mama's house.
He bit his lip, reaching for his flip-phone. He quickly dialed the number, put the phone to his ear, and waited for a reply as he tapped his fingers on his desk.
It wasn't before long until he heard a forty-or-so-year-old woman ask on the other line:
"Hello?"
"Yes, is this Mrs. Sherman?" Emmerich thought of the intercom when he said that; he was in an office for too long.
"Yes...who's speaking?"
"Hi, my name is Hal Emmerich," he said. "And I just received an empty package about a couple of minutes ago. I believe your son has sent it to me."
Emmerich stared at the messy handwriting on the front of the package; the kid even spelled his name wrong, so it HAD to have been him. Who spells "Hal" like "Howl", anyway?
She gasped.
"MY little Jimmy-bear?" Emmerich rolled his eyes. That was why nothing was done about those infinite pranks that were pulled on him by those morons downtown; their mothers were so freaking ignorant. "But he's an ANGEL! He wouldn't hurt a soul!"
"Yeah, well-"
Right when he was about to get on his case on the little pest, a man in commando gear jumped out and exclaimed:
"SURPRISE!"
Emmerich nearly screamed, almost dropping his phone. The next thing he knew, Snake was standing right in front of him...with a large grin on his face, for some reason.
"Uh...hold on, ma'am, I'm gonna have to call you back." Emmerich hung up on the woman and put the phone on his desk.
"W-What the hell, Snake?!" he stuttered, still very shocked of the sudden encounter. "Ever heard of knocking?"
"Knocking?" Snake pondered over the strange vocabulary only for a moment, then quickly got back to why he nearly scared the bejeezus out of his comrade. "Anyway, whadda you think?"
"Think of...what?"
"You know, Otacon!" Snake pointed at the empty box. "The package!"
"Wait...YOU sent that package?"
"Uh-huh!"
"Damn it!" Hal thought with disappointment. "I really wanted to rat out that little twerp..."
He facepalmed.
"And why did you send me an empty box?" he asked Snake, who seemed excited for some reason.
"Is he high?" he wondered.
"What? No!" Snake shook his head and patted the box, assuring it was more than what it was. "This is MORE than just an empty box!"
"Oh really? What is it, then?"
"The greatest gift I as a friend can ever give you."
"Oh God..." Emmerich groaned in his mind. "I really don't wanna deal with this cheesy friendship-is-magic crap today..."
Nonetheless, since he knew quite well that Snake could kill him if he ticked him off in the slightest, he decided to play along.
"What is it, then?" he repeated. "Friendship?"
"No."
"Happiness?"
"Nope."
"Gratitude?"
"Nuh-uh."
"Empathy?"
"Are you even trying anymore?"
"Frankly, I wasn't trying to start with."
"Well, what I have given to you is the most powerful, life-giving thing in the world!"
"...Oxygen?"
"No! I have given you the gift of..." Snake put his arm around Emmerich's shoulder. "IMAGINATION!"
"Yep," Hal figured. "He's high."
I've seen many many MANY pictures of Snake in a box under a rainbow exclaiming "IMAGINATION!" to NOT do this story. And yes, Snake is and will be VERY OOC in this; I figured I could try something comedically different. So...please review and tell me whatcha think! Hope you enjoyed (and will enjoy) it!-BAA Productions