One Shot Harry/Thor (Master of Death!Harry) I got bored, mkay? Crack Fic .I'd love to know what you think of it tho, first Avengers story and first Harry Potter crossover with the Avengers. As usual, I don't own either. Enjoy, Allons-y!

Harry sighed, happy he finally found somewhere to settle down after the many years of travelling. He left Auror training half way through, pissing Ron off and loosing his friendship. But Harry did not want to defeat Dark Wizards for the rest of his life, when he'd done that for half his life already.

His apartment in New York was beautiful, His was the last story on the building and therefore the most expensive, costing around two million dollars. Once, he wanted to start a job, but for now he was quite happy to just wonder about the place, the city 'that never sleeps'.

He found his favourite Café, (which he was in right now and ordered a chocolate milkshake) it was just around the corner and the atmosphere reminded him of Diagon Alley, he had no idea why.

When he wrote to Hermione, he found out all about the Statue of Secrecy and what that entitled. She was always helpful whenever he went to a knew country. But he hated how every time he wrote, she'd say how Ginny was doing and how the whole family was, including Ron. Well, obviously, seen as they were married. But after Harry and Ginny decided they had rushed into things and that Harry saw her more like a sister, they were better off not being together. George was dating a muggle born Frances Adely. He was glad George was trying to move on after the death of Fred.

Neville and Hannah were married and had a baby on the way. Luna was travelling around the world trying to find creatures and writing articles about them on the quibbler. He also heard Draco had married Astoria Greengrass and had a son called Scorpius.

Harry often felt alone, but that couldn't be helped. He knew most people, not including his friends, only wanted to know him for his fame, fortune. Which found it difficult for Harry to date at all.

At this moment in time, though, he found himself staring at a group on the next table over to him. Of course he knew who they were, everyone knew. But one of them he just could not stop staring at. And he overheard most of the conversation.

"But Stark, this doesn't mean we are safe -" Captain America, or Steve said, trying to get his point across to Tony, who was enjoying the momentum of saving the World, yet again.

"And when the next time Aliens come and fight, we'll be ready, won't we?" Steve sighed and put his head in his hands. Bruce then decided to speak for the first time in a while.

"Alright enough of that. Why don't we have a party? Bring plus ones?" He asked the group and they all nodded. Harry had a feeling Tony was already drunk.

"Yes! Let's do this people. Thor, you've been quiet, what's up?" Harry's breath hitched at Thor's name, he wasn't about to admit he had an unhealthy crush on the bloke. Well, not to himself, anyway.

"Just thinking" He said deeply. "Loki went back home" He added quietly. Harry could see the sadness in his eyes. Tony didn't and grinned.

"Yeah and good riddance. You know what you need to do, big fella?" Without waiting for Thor's reply, he said, "You need to get out there - start dating," It took all his might not to choke, but he did splutter on his drink.

Shitting himself, not literally, he hoped no one had spotted him and pretended to be busy on his mobile phone. Not that he ever used it, he just had one contact on there, Hermione. And that was only for emergencies.

"Why would you think I'd need to do that?" Thor's deep voice replied, hinting confusion. It was Steve who answered him.

"Ignore Stark. He's just drunk. Probably doesn't know what he's saying" He replied and Tony chuckled at him.

"Me? Now why would I drink at two in the afternoon?" He asked Steve, who rolled his eyes.

"It's eight in the morning, I rest my case" The group laughed and Harry couldn't help but smile.

After that they all started getting up, paying for the bill.

Harry noticed Thor left his hammer and shouted,

"Thor, you left this!" Picking it up off the table. Luckily they had just got to the door but he wasn't expecting the look of shocked faces and Thor looked like he was about to faint.

"How, what, when?" Bruce managed to speak, spluttering. Harry raised an eyebrow.

"It's just a hammer? Right?" This time Thor spoke.

"Just a Hammer?! You petty humans shouldn't even be able to pick it up! Only I, God of Thunder, should!" He shouted, outraged. Steve seemed lost for words. Tony put his sun glasses on and recovered.

"So does this mean he like, rules Asgard now?" He slurred. The five of them looked at Tony, with their mouths hanging open. Harry was getting more confused by the minute.

"Well, I don't know about you guys but this Hammer is as light as a feather," He said playing catch with it.

"Okay, I'm done" Steve said walking out.

"Seconded" Bruce said following after him. Tony stayed for a minute longer.

"Are you sure he's not ruler -"

"You are going to die a most painful death if you don't get out now, human!" Thor growled out. Harry chuckled quietly. He had no clue what was going on.

"I'd like to take my chances," Tony retorted stubbornly, sitting down next to Harry, while Thor sat on the other side. Apparently Thor decided to ignore Tony's existence.

"So? How can you lift it?" Thor asked as Harry gave the Hammer back to him. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm just Harry. Nothing special about me" He said. Thor narrowed his eyes, he had seemed to calm down slightly.

"Nothing special? You've just -"

"Picked up the Hammer. I get that. I don't get how" Harry replied getting slightly annoyed. He didn't need this. He never got used to the fame and now he's got this under his belt? Life just wasn't fair.

They both didn't speak, thankful the cafe was quiet. No one had really paid attention to them which was good to know. Harry drank half his milkshake before Thor spoke.

Tony was on his laptop, eves dropping the whole time, well aware of Thor's blatant ignorance.

"What's your story?" He asked. Harry blinked from shock. Then he shrugged, when you get an opportunity to speak to Thor, let alone manage to pick up 'his' hammer, it was too good to miss.

"You wouldn't believe me even if I did tell you," He grinned at the look on Thor's face.

"Try me,"

And that was how Harry told Thor his life story in under five minutes, by the end of it, Thor looked pale and he didn't speak, just lost in thought. Tony broke the silence.

"Jesus that's one heck of a life. You could get a story out of that. Maybe even seven and throw a film in there too," He commented making Harry choke.

"Alright Stark, leave. Now." Tony mock saluted and strutted out of the cafe without another word.

"You miss Loki don't you? It doesn't matter to you that he's killed people. He's still your brother, I don't think the others get that," Harry said, with sympathy. Thor's eyes widened, bringing him back to his senses.

"How did you know?" He shrugged in response. They sat together, not speaking, just, he wanted to say, enjoying each others company. A few minutes later, Thor spoke again.

"How would you feel about going to a party?"

OoO

"So big fella, who's your plus one?" Tony asked and Thor rolled his eyes.

"Would you stop calling me that?" He exclaimed, while looking at his hair in the mirror. Ever since his long hair... his had grown but it was still too short for his liking and he was rather uncomfortable about it.

"Stop avoiding the question. Who is she?"

"He" He retorted and cringed at Tony's excited look on his face.

"Yo Bruce! You owe me thirty pounds! Steve, you owe me a hundred!" Steve cursed and Bruce then laughed,

"Language, Steve!"

"Okay, Tony, you really told them about that?" Steve growled out and threw a orange in his direction, Tony ducked and Thor blinked when he saw who caught the orange and smirked.

"Does this belong to someone?" Harry asked with amusement in his voice.

"So you're the mysterious plus one, the one who can pick up Thor's hammer," Tony said in recognition, "What's your name kid?" Tony asked, taking leadership. Thor smirked at Harry's raised eyebrows, he knew at once he didn't like how Tony was speaking to him.

"First of, I'm twenty nine, second, my name is Harry Potter, The Chosen One, the one who defeated the Dark wizard of the century at seventeen and thirdly, you should treat me with respect or else,"

Tony stook a step back, trying not to laugh. He hadn't expected the boy to just admit that there and then.

"What the fuck?" Steve shouted. Why was everyone else so chill about this?

"So you're like Doctor Strange?" Bruce asked. Steve stood there, mouth open with wide eyes. Thor sighed.

"You petty humans. No. He's a Wizard, yes. But not like Strange, he uses it unnaturally. They were born with Magic. Old magic - Witches and Wizards, when we went to Earth... we fought by your side. But then their kind went into hiding..." Thor got lost in thought and Harry tried to answered the rest, but Steve lost all control.

"Y'all just found out MAGIC is real and you just accept it?!" Steve tried to get their attention, he failed miserably. In the end he just gave up. They knew nothing about this bloke but Thor was looking at him like Arthur looked at Merlin and Benner was looking like fucking normal. Tony surprised him the most, why didn't he argue, everyone knew how he felt about Dr Strange! He had so many questions but the most important one was how the hell did this Potter guy lift Thor's hammer? It was meant to be impossible!

"I don't know much. But my best friend Hermione knows the story like the back of her hand. Save that for another time. If this information leaves this room I will have to be forced to take drastic action. Are we clear?" Harry asked the four. They nodded, slightly terrified of Harry. Not that they'd admit it. Thor, on the other hand, was grinning a teathy smile at his friend.

Steve shook his head in disbelief.

"Excellent. When are your guests arriving?" He turned to Steve, Tony and Bruce. They shrugged.

"We didn't invite them. It's going to be a lads party." Tony grinned. Thor raised his eyebrows but didn't say anymore as he passed Harry a drink.

"So, what now?" Harry asked as they sat down by the TV. Tony grinned and replied.

"Let's play truth or dare!"

Harry burst out laughing but Thor looked confused so they quickly explained the rules to him.

"And if you don't want to answer the truth or do the dare you have to down your drink!" Tony added. Bruce rolled his eyes.

"I swear I refuse to help you in the morning," Bruce said, looking disgusted. Steve chuckled (might as well go with the flow, it was going to be a long night).

"He doesn't swing that way. Why don't we get Pepper to help him instead? I'm sure she wouldn't mind, or him" Tony choked as they laughed.

"Mention that again Steve, I'll kill you in your sleep!"

"Hey he didn't deny it! He didn't deny it!" Steve cheered childishly, asking for a fight to happen. Harry rolled his eyes and smiled. His leg was resting on Thor's and there was a tingling sensation but he tried not to think about it.

"Alright Harry, Truth or dare?" Steve asked and Harry didn't need to think twice.

"Truth" It was always safest to pick truth.

"What's your biggest fear?"

"Being alone for the rest of my life," He said honestly with a sip of his drink. The others nodded in understanding.

"Tony, truth or dare?"

"Dare!" He shouted and Harry sighed. Thor then whispered in his ear.

"Dare him to try and lift my hammer and if he can't he has to tell Pepper he has feelings for her," Harry's cheeks turned slightly pink being so close to Thor, but grinned and repeated the dare. Tony glared at them both and went to Thor's hammer, he tried for the tenth time before giving up and getting his phone out. Harry grinned, Tony knew the rule, he could've downed his drink but he didn't, Thor was cupid.

"Alright, done. My turn. Thor! Truth or Dare?"

"Truth!"

"Why have you stayed on Earth. You could've gona back with Loki but you stayed here. Why?"

Thor tensed next to Harry.

"I wanted to see what else Earth had to offer. Besides, I couldn't leave just yet. Not with you guys I need to look after," He grinned and Steve laughed.

"Bruce, Truth or dare?!"

They carried on until it hit way past midnight, Tony by that time had passed out and Steve drove Bruce home so Thor decided to walk Harry back to his apartment.

"Will Earth ever be safe?" Harry asked. Enjoying holding hands with Thor as he replied.

"No, it never has been. But we, The Avengers and others are here to protect everyone. And I'm here to protect the people I love. Including you, Harry Potter."

Harry stared. "Me?"

"Do you want to meet at the Café tomorrow?"

"With the others?" Harry asked, confused.

"No, just us" Thor replied.

"Like, like a date?"

"Exactly"

And that's how Harry Potter had a heart attack and died.

Just kidding.

He nodded back to Thor as a yes. But what he had to do now, was contact Hermione. He had no clue what to wear!

OoO

Later that night...

"'Mione! Answer the phone," Ron grumbled in his sleep, hitting his wife as he spoke. Hermione yawned and checked the time, she choked. Who would phone at five in the morning?!

Getting up, she practically sprinted down the stairs and finally got to their phone.

"Who is it?" She mumbled, still half asleep.

"Mione! I need your help!" She blinked three times.

"At five in the morning?"

"I've got a date!"

Now, she was awake. She squealed.

"Ooh! How exciting! I can't wait to tell the others! Who with Harry?!" She asked, jumping up and down.

"Thor!"

Hermione froze.

"Thor?" She questioned.

"Yes, you know. God of Thunder. That one." Harry replied, cockily.

"How the fuck did that happen! You don't let me set you up with anyone and then BAM! You some how get to date The Thor! What's next? A Vampire Diaries spin off with you, Thor and Loki?!" She shouted, forgetting where she was. They didn't speak for about a second before they both burst out laughing.

A/N and that's that. I know Harry and Thor as a pair is completely ridiculous, but like, it was fun to work with. I might do a part two though, if you want.