Sheldon Swifties XXIX: "Grandmistress Amy…"
Summary: Like my Immortal Beloved bits in my Buffyverse stories, these are fragments and short bits, some longer…Just to fiddle with ideas, possibly forming longer tales later.
Disclaimer: All is Chuck's…
"Check…Mate in two moves…" Amy noted…
"Three games in a row…Amy, you are on fire…" Leonard beamed…
"What?...Oh, that is not possible…" Sheldon, fuming… "Prince Joey was defending that spot…"
"But you forgot that by your own rather curious rule, 'Prince Joey', the feeble-minded but well-meaning cousin of the king has a one-in-five chance of killing himself whenever he moves…And Penny rolled a double six which means the lovable but hapless Prince is defunct…" Amy, calmly…
"You really are great at chess, Amy…" Leonard, sly glance fuming Sheldonward… "Even Sheldonchess…"
"Yes…When I spent my school lunch hour in high school with the janitor we played every day…He was a grandmaster and I learned a great deal from him…Before his wife called me a puta and ended our lunches…"
"Wait I want to change that rule and the piece…Prince Joey has been assassinated and replaced at the white court by the King's evil and scheming brother, Sidney…Who while supporting the kingdom for his own selfish ends, is always ready to use any illicit trick to remove rivals and has the power of both Pope and King, having deceived them into trusting him as their deputy…Naturally plotting to eliminate both after the enemy army is defeated…"
"Not in the course of a game, Sheldon…" Leonard shook his head… "Or as supreme arbiter by your agreement, I will create a new 3-dimentional piece, Bat-Penny…"
"Say what?" Penny stared…
"It's a complement, really…" he insisted…"Bat-Penny has all the power of the Queen, Knight, and Rook plus she can fly over the board and use her heat ray to destroy any piece except the King…And she's unleashed whenever a opposing player tries to change the status and abilities of a piece when losing in mid-play…"
"Oooh…In that case…Lemme spread my wings…" grin…
"I don't like that…Amy, I call for a vote of no confidence in the Supreme Arbiter and that a republic be established forthwith…"
"Oooh, rebellion…You know what that means, Sheldon…" Leonard grinned… "Raj?...
Raj pulled out and pressed his phone… "The Imperial March" plays…
"The Arbiter gets to release his brutal goon squad who take out half my remaining pieces and give a force of equal strength to Amy…" sigh…
"Your rule…" Leonard noted..
"Drat…I never expected to be the rebel leader…"
"Wait…" Amy cut in… "I petition the Supreme Arbiter…" pleading glance to Leonard…
"Grrranted…" Leonard, puzzled… "What's the…Oh…" he sighed, eyeing Sheldon's pleading look to Amy… "Sheldon…"
"It's alright...While Sheldon's sad puppy eyes could melt stone, I actually enjoy a challenge…" Amy noted… "Please, I petition that Sheldon's request to replace lovably feeble Joey with scheming Sidney be granted…"
"Amy…" Leonard shook head… "It's not fair for Sheldon to play on your feelings like this…"
"Under the game terms having won three games, I am free to demand my petition be granted, Sheldon having assumed he'd win the minimum two in a row required…"
Sheldon, arch look…A bit subdued by Penny's grim look…
"Supreme Arbiter?…Don't let Evil triumph here…" Raj, anxiously…
"Please, Rajesh…" Amy put up a hand… "Leonard?..."
"Oh, fine…"
Sheldon, triumphant look…
(Ah,ha, ha…Well, that's what Sidney would do…)
NO!...Raj…
"Scheming Sidney, having disposed of Prince Joey with hired thugs, takes the powers bestowed upon him by his foolishly trusting brother the King and does in your gallant but foolish Pope…" Sheldon, sneering…
"Who, in his deaththroes calls on the power of the Supreme One…As by the rules you wrote, my darling…Supreme Arbiter, avenge your devoted and saintly Pope…"
"With pleasure, your Holiness…" Leonard, beaming… "I call forth 'Bat-Penny'…"
"No, no!...Retreat to your fortress lair, castle, Sydney!...Castle!..." Sheldon, desperately…
"No lair can save you from the wrath of 'Bat-Penny', the foul Sydney meets his deserved fate at the hands of her heat ray…" Amy, solemnly…
"Yay!...In your face…Your melted face, Sydney!..." Penny, happily…
"And…Checkmate..On a defeated but hopefully wiser King…" Amy, contentedly…Patting a downcast Sheldon…
"Yes!...Evil defeated, justice triumphs!..." Raj, cheering…
"Except that it was all a plot…" Sheldon, chuckling evilly… "Poor fools…Eh, my Empress Consort?..." nod to Amy…
"Indeed…" Amy, wicked grin…
"What?..." Leonard stares…Penny, blinking…Raj looking horrified…
Oh, no…Not our saintly Queen Amy…
"Sydney, meriting his surname of 'Scheming', already concluded a pact with me to subvert his brother the King…Naturally while safely with me, he sent a double in his place to command the King's forces and betray the kingdom…Which we will now rule…Jointly…" Amy, contentedly…
"Ah, ha, ha!..." Sheldon, replacing white robed Sydney on board with Sydney in black robe…And crown…
"No, darkness triumphs on the board?..." Raj, shaking head…
"As soon as we begin the executions after the show trials…" Amy nods…
Leonard eyeing Penny…
"Maybe we should rethink that idea of playing them in couples paintball?..."