Kitty Pryde sat alone in her secluded corner of the library expertly pretending to be engrossed with research on her laptop, but silently observing her peers. For the several years she had been at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters this had become the one constant in her life. Bobby, Rogue, Jubilee, and Piotr were on the other side of the room trying, and failing, to keep their conversation to a light whisper. Kitty no longer felt the pull to join them like she used to.
An only child from a suburb in Illinois, Kitty had been uprooted from her family, her friends, and her life when her mutation manifested. Upon her arrival at "Mutant High" she felt isolated and her usual confidence disappeared; it had been easy for her to standout back home, but not here in this school for the gifted. Despite her initial shyness and, she hated to admit, awkwardness, she had been accepted quite quickly into the clique that most of the other students seemed to admire. Although, acceptance wasn't hard once she figured out how to play each group member. If there was one thing Kitty was good at it was being able to strategize.
Jubilee had been the easiest to win over; a few shopping trips and facials and they were suddenly BFF's. For Piotr all she did was show a sliver of interest in his artwork which she truly believed was beautiful anyway. Bobby would befriend a rabid raccoon if given the opportunity, he was one of those rare genuine nice guys. His penchant for practical jokes gave everyone the impression that nothing bothered him, but the long tear-filled conversations they had about his lying to his family and their subsequent betrayal, showed Kitty the sad man Bobby hid from the world so well.
Not surprisingly the hardest people to get to like her and to let her in were Rogue and John. It was obvious to Kitty that even before her mutation Rogue probably wasn't the most socially outgoing teenager in the world. When Bobby introduced them, which with hindsight probably wasn't the smartest way to go about it, Kitty had been impressed by the restraint Rogue showed in not kicking her ass for hanging around her contact starved boyfriend. Their "friendship" had been on shaky ground from the start, but since the passing of Scott, Jean, and the Professor and John's sudden abandonment, they tolerated each other so their group dynamic wouldn't change anymore.
St. John Allerdyce had been the hardest nut to crack; Kitty still silently giggled at his full name for he was anything but a saint. It seemed that John's ultimate goal in life was to make her miserable. If she fell, he was there to laugh at her; when she blushed while labeling the male anatomy in Biology he was there to tease her about her lack of sexual experience, but that was their relationship and Kitty had begrudgingly accepted that. Until he found her one afternoon in the same spot she sat now.
John had condescendingly asked her if she was smart enough to know Calculus, despite the fact that she was younger than him and, of course, a woman. Outraged, Kitty had been prepared to give him a piece of her mind only to be convinced, with promises of a brand new laptop, to tutor him. During their sessions John's bad boy persona began to fade until eventually it disappeared completely. He could be sweet and thoughtful at times, like when he had given her a necklace with a cat charm on it for her sixteenth birthday, and Kitty liked to believe she was the only one who knew the real John. When he hadn't returned from Alkali Lake she had assumed the worst. Looking back, dealing with a death would've been so much easier.
John allowed her to be whatever she could dream up when they were together. His smugness never crossed over through the threshold of their study room in the library. In his presence she could be smart, funny, emotional, or sexy. When they were alone she good just be.
It was the tutoring sessions that made Kitty realize how much she despised being known as "the smart one" amongst her group of friends and the other residents of the mansion. Helping the resident bad boy led people to believe that she was doing John's work for him in exchange to use him as arm candy when outside the mansion walls. She found herself suddenly very popular. She was the brainy girl you went to with homework questions or to get the notes from the class you cut. She always had a good book recommendation on the tip of her tongue and she could recite Shakespearian sonnets on command. But she did not enjoy her new popularity.
Kitty was not the girl you asked to the movies or took to prom. She was not the first person called to join a girl's night out. She was not anything more than a shoulder to cry on when a heart was broken. She was not anything more than a dispenser of advice. She was good for nothing.
For once Kitty wanted to be the mysteriously sexy one like Rogue; the funny one like Bobby; the life of the party like Jubilee; the strong one like Piotr. But that would never happen.
With the murder of her mentors and the abandonment of her secret best friend, she was left with nothing. She had no one to show her imagined personalities to anymore and no one to encourage her to be better than her best fantasy.
So Kitty Pryde sat in her secluded corner every day pretending she was happy with being "the smart one." She faked through pleasantries and smiles. She made sure the fridge was stocked with ice cream so she could guide people through break-ups, her class notes were always neatly printed so that others could copy them easier.
Although she wanted nothing more than to be known for being something other than "the smart one" she feared what that would be.
For being so smart, a day didn't go by when she didn't feel inept.