100% fluff designed to keep us in our bubble despite what the writers throw at us!
This idea popped in to my head after the baseball scene from 7x14, got me thinking of Harvey playing baseball with his son.
It's a perfect Summer's day in New York, the sun is shining, the light breeze is refreshing and the perfect blue from the clear sky is matched only by the perfect green of the trees lining Central Park.
I had decided to take a stroll after an appointment in the city, enjoying the tranquil surroundings of the park. Crossing the bridge, I notice a flock of ducks following their Mother in to the water, the sight is almost bittersweet as it makes me think of my own children, or lack thereof. Shaking the thought from my mind, I lean over the wall of the bridge, glancing over at the grassed area just up ahead, scanning the area quickly.
I notice a man, he is slightly turned away from me and I can't quite see his face clearly, but from his side profile alone I can tell that he's gorgeous. I decide to walk a little closer, watching as he swings the baseball bat behind him, seemingly talking to the little blonde boy beside him, his son if I had to hazard a guess.
As I move closer I can't help but stare, his toned physique still noticeable even covered in jeans and a shirt, rolled up at the sleeves and with the first few buttons casually undone. The sun shines down on him, highlighting his perfectly tanned skin, and I notice a glimmer off his wedding ring. The muscles in his forearm flexing as he grips the bat for another swing and I instantly thank God for baseball, a game I don't know the first thing about.
At a guess, I'd say the boy was four, maybe five, he has light blonde hair and an oddly familiar smile, he would definitely grow up to be quite the handsome young man. I can't quite hear what he says, but whatever it is makes the older man laugh, and that's when I see it, that cheshire cat grin, oh my god.
"Harvey." I breath out involuntarily.
The years since I'd last seen him had been kind to him, he looked …good. Even more handsome than I remembered him to be, but with a lightness about him, beyond just the casual attire, he looked genuinely happy.
Finding a seat under a tree, I'm far enough away to watch and hear them but luckily remain out of their line of vision, I hear the young boy speak.
"Dad, Uncle Marcus said I don't need to put my elbow up that high."
"Don't listen to your Uncle, he was dropped on his head a lot as a kid." Harvey jokes, with his trademark smirk.
The boy laughs; flashing that same perfect smile that he has obviously inherited from his Dad.
A sad smile pulls at my lips at the thought, Dad, he was a Father; a seemingly great Father at that.
I watch as he helps his son adjust his stance and grip on the bat.
"Now come on son, eye on the ball!" He instructs, walking away to pitch the ball in his direction. "You ready?"
His son nods. Harvey pitches the ball towards him, the boy swings but misses.
"That's okay buddy, get that elbow up." Harvey says, fetching the ball and preparing to throw it again.
He pitches the ball again but this time his son smacks it, hard.
"I did it, Dad!" He exclaims excitedly.
"Look at you!" Harvey smiles in awe, "...taking after your old man."
"Daddy!" A gorgeous little girl of around two shouts, as she runs towards him.
"There's my girl." Harvey smiles, easily scooping her up in his arms, tossing her in the air slightly.
It's obvious how much he adores his children.
I should have realized immediately who the children's mother is, from the little girl's long strawberry blonde locks, but as soon as I spot the woman walking up to him, one hand casually draped over her pregnant belly, it still floors me.
Donna.
Donna had always been the thing that stood in the way of Harvey and I, she was always the third person in our relationship. Although, I guess if I'm being really honest, maybe it was me who was the third person in their relationship.
From the first day I met her, I knew she was different. Donna wasn't like anyone I'd ever met before, not only was her beauty intimidating, the way she could read me was too. I saw firsthand in her, the traits that Harvey could never admit to admiring. I'd never seen a patient react to losing an employee like that before; panic attacks, anger, denial. I guess I should have payed closer attention to the red flags, I knew from the beginning that Donna wasn't just a secretary to him, not even close.
Despite this I let myself get caught up in the pseudo fairy-tale. Harvey Specter, dead against infidelity, intelligent, powerful, charming, gorgeous and yes, extremely arrogant, wanted me …or at least he thought he did.
Right up until even the thought of being without her drove him to break my heart.
I know I never should have agreed to cross that line. He was my patient, he was vulnerable, and I knew better. I let him down. I let myself down.
And yet part of me still thinks that Harvey and Donna are the love story that never should have happened, part of me, the other part of me knows that that is a lie and Harvey and I never stood a chance; it's always been her, it's always been them.
"Ahem!" She feigns disappointment, "…and what about me? aren't I your girl too?" she jokes.
"You." He says, pecking her lips quickly, "Are my lady. He is my boy." He nods towards their son, "And they…" He says placing his hand on her bump, "Are our…"
"Surprises?" She offers in a jovial tone.
"Miracles." He corrects.
She swoons at his words, letting him pull her closer for another kiss, a kiss that she instantly melts in to.
"Ugh." Their son rolls his eyes, "Do you always have to kiss?" He complains, clearly used to the scene in front of him.
Donna smiles against Harvey's lips, breaking their kiss only to retort "I'll remind you of that when you're sixteen and kissing all the girls, James Gordon Specter."
"No way!" He argues.
"You will, if you're anything like your Dad." Harvey smirks, earning himself a playful slap from his wife.
"No hitting, Momma" Their daughter chimes in.
"Thank you, baby." Harvey smiles, kissing her on the cheek.
"You're right, I shouldn't hit, honey." Donna admits with a laugh.
"I'll have to think of a punishment for you." Harvey jokes, leaning in to capture her lips again.
"Kissing." Their daughter snickers.
"You are not allowed to even know that word until you're forty!" Harvey says, leaning down to blow a raspberry on her neck as she erupts in to a fit of giggles.
"Do you think my new brother will like baseball, Dad?" James asks.
"We'll have to wait and see." Harvey says, rubbing Donna's belly again.
"Your new sister might?" Donna offers.
"Why don't you throw the ball to Charlotte for a little while, Jim?" Harvey suggests.
"Come on, Charlie, lets play catch." James says as the girl squirms out of her Father's arms, to follow her big brother.
I gather they are having fraternal twins from the conversation, not that the amount of children, or their gender matters.
One thing is obvious though; Harvey adores his family.
It takes Harvey all of two seconds to wrap his arms around her, pressing his lips against her once more.
"If this is your idea of punishment, I am all for it" She jokes.
"Please, we both know punishing you would be withholding this." He teases, motioning to his body.
"One, I already had that, this morning, and two, you're just lucky you have a hormonal wife."
Harvey chuckles, "Donna, you are just as horny normally as you are when you're pregnant."
"Hmmm, I wonder why? …Couldn't possibly be the fourteen years we had to make up for" She taunts.
Harvey tilts his head, offering her a pointed look and that boyish grin.
"Besides, that's not true!" She argues, "Don't you remember when I was pregnant with Jimmy and you found me in the kitchen at 3am eating Triscuits and ice-cream and we ended up going at it on the counter? I believe I much preferred licking the ice-cream off you, over eating it out of the bowl."
"Need I remind you, Mrs Specter, what our first time involved?" He says with a low growl, his mouth finding its way to her neck.
Donna whispers her response in his ear and though I can't hear what she says, I see him respond instantly, crashing his lips against hers as she wraps one hand around his neck while her other moves up and down the one he has wrapped around her waist. This kiss quickly progresses from PG-13 to R, their tongues wrestling for dominance as Donna tightens her grip on him and he presses her against him, no doubt in a vain attempt to relieve some of the building pressure.
Jesus, get a room! Two kids already, two on the way and they still can't keep their bloody hands off each other.
As if reading my thought's, Donna moves her hands to his chest, physically needing to put a barrier between them before they go at it in front of everyone.
"Okay, ease up Casanova, we're in public and there are children present!" She admonishes with a breathy chuckle. "…We can continue this later." She adds when she sees his pout, giving him a quick peck.
"I'll hold you to that, Mrs Specter." He says, moving behind her, wrapping his arms around her swollen stomach, as he kisses her neck gently.
"You better." She says, as her hand seeks his, interlocking their fingers.
"I love watching them play together." He smiles, kissing her cheek gently as they watch their son trying to teach his sister how to throw a certain way.
"Me too." She smiles, "He's so patient with her."
"Takes after his Mom"
"God, Harvey, are we crazy?" She laughs. "we're going to have four!"
"Probably." He chuckles, "But I wouldn't change it for the world."
"Me either." She agrees.
"I just wish Dad were here." He admits.
"I know, so do I. But he'd be so proud of you, Harvey. The man you are, the Father you are, you don't even realize how much you take after him."
He smiles, "I hope so, I want them to know they can come to me for anything, like I always could with him."
"They know and so do I" She says softly.
Harvey smiles, lifting her knuckles to his lips and pressing a soft kiss against them.
"Hey Dad, can we show Mom what you taught me?" James shouts.
"Yeah, bring your sister back over here" Harvey answers, smiling as he watches his son carefully take his younger sister by the hand and lead them back to their parents.
I watch closely at how careful Harvey is as he helps Donna bend down to take a seat on their picnic rug, making sure she's comfortable, so gentle and meticulous, like she's the most precious thing in the world.
"Ok you…" He says picking the girl up, kissing her quickly before passing her over to her Mother "...Get comfortable and watch the Specter men work."
I can't hear what Harvey says as he's bending down to give Donna the gentlest of kisses, but I know the words she says back are "I love you too."
I love you. Another thing that Harvey never told me.
A pang of jealousy hits me as I watch them; Donna kissing the top of their daughter's head as she sits on her lap, resting lazily against her Mother's tummy, watching on with adoration at her Father and brother, as they play baseball up ahead.
"Good hit baby!" Donna shouts out, as James smacks the ball out of sight. "Did you see that?" She asks Charlotte as the little girl nods, smiles and claps for her brother. Harvey looks on with pride at 'his boy' the same way, no doubt, his Father would have looked at him.
As I start to gather my things to leave, I notice Harvey wink at Donna and the beaming smile she gives him in return, and I can't help but smile sadly at the love evident between them.
Turning to begin my walk back, I got to thinking: A blind person can see how in love they are.
So why did I refuse to face that truth for as long as I did?
Because I loved him, even if he didn't love me. I wanted him to choose me, but instead, he chose her.
To me Harvey Specter will always be the one that got away, and until today, I often wondered if he ever thinks about me, maybe even wonders if we made a mistake.
I can now say with certainty that he doesn't.
Seeing them today was, however, exactly what I needed to make myself stop asking what if, to deliver a sense of closure and be able to move on, finally.
I guess its true what they say; fate really does have a way of leading us to right where we need to be.
Please let me know what you think x