A/N: Hey guys! This is remotely longer than I figured, way too long
considering I had to write about half of it with only one hand, my left!
Wow! My right hand/wrist is swollen, so I was forbidden to do anything on
the computer. But as sneaky as I am, I convinced my mother it wouldn't
hurt, if I just used my left hand! Thanks to the one who invented
manipulation!
Well hope you enjoy! Here it goes...
Summary: Minerva wake up one morning, discovering all her clothes is gone! Disaster! Someone oblivious did it; can she find her clothes and the culprit before her classes begin, without meeting a living being! Payback time is sweet! Read and find out! =)
THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
*
It was one of those days. One of those days when you felt like you should stay in bed, or something terrible would happen. That was how Minerva McGonagall felt when she heard her alarm clock ringing one early morning in mid September. Sleeping so deeply as she had, the ringing was ignored for some moments. She didn't feel like getting up at all, which were very uncharacteristic of her. She was usually the first to eat her dinner in the great hall, the first in the staff room; usually she liked getting up early. But not today! It was kind of weird, because she had this feeling of foreboding that something would happen today.
But she was after all Minerva McGonagall and stood up, stretching while yawning. Now all she needed was Sybill Trelawney running down to breakfast telling everyone who would listen that the world was going under. Not that she hated the woman, but how many true foretellings had she made in her whole life! 2! But that wasn't so annoying at all; it was her constant chattering about everyones death and unfortune that nerved Minerva. After doing her bed nicely Minerva waded sleepily out to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, noticing another yawn creeping along her mouth. She put some water in her face, washing away her tiredness. Much better. While brushing her teeth she looked at her slender figure in the mirror. She was still in her nightgown, a very small thing, showing her legs and thighs quite nicely. The neck was extremely low-necked showing her exposed bosom. Good thing she only slept in this small thing. She giggled as she thought of her colleagues' expressions if they saw her in that! She combed her unruly black hair, making it flow down her back instead of sticking in every direction.
Walking to her wardrobe she thought about what to wear today, emerald or black? She decided for emerald, it matched her eyes so lovely. Nothing was bothering her, until she opened her wardrobe.
"For the sake of Merlin's beard!"
Nothing was in there. Nothing at all! All her clothes were gone. She blinked a few times before reacting. She quickly strode forward to her chest, opening the drawers. But again nothing! What! Where were all her clothes! They were there yesterday! After running from her bedroom to her bathroom, and then to her drawing room and kitchen a couple of times, she finally sat back down on her bed starring at nothing, trying to figure this mystery out! All her clothes were gone. She only had the little thing she was wearing and nothing more! Her clothes had been there yesterday! Her clothes couldn't just disappear like that! That was not possible... Hey wait! Maybe someone did it! Maybe someone disappeared her clothes on purpose!
Fred and George Weasley!
Then she remembered they did not go to Hogwarts anymore! But they actually had their own little shop in Diagon Alley. Small and small, maybe the shop weren't that small, in fact it was quite popular. She had visited them, and had found their items quite humorous. She'd always thought they had a sense of humor, well when didn't get on her nerves anyway. But if it weren't them, who could it be? The trio wouldn't have the nerve to do this! Not with Hermione Granger! And Harry could resemble his father sometimes, but this even James wouldn't have done! Though he probably would have with Sirius Black! And Ron had never had the exact same liking for rule breaking as Fred and George! She was sure no Gryffindor had done it! Neither Hufflepuff nor Ravenclaw! Though the Slytherins probably could have! But she just couldn't imagine them disappearing all of her clothes! Why should they? She answered her own question; she was after all professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor, despised Gryffindor herself. That was enough motive for any Slytherins! But they would do something else, something embarrassing! Not this! That only left out the Faculty of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry! But who would do something so childish to her!
Rolanda, Pomona, Poppy and Albus!
The first tree could've done it together as a practical joke! It wasn't like they hadn't done anything similar in the past! And Albus did the weirdest things some times, and this wouldn't be beyond him!
Her thoughts was interrupted by her clock ringing again announcing breakfast had started! She groaned!
"What am I to do?" she wondered aloud even though she was alone in her room.
Her classes would begin in about two hours! How was she to teach with nothing to wear! The thought of teaching teenager kids with only her nightgown sent her into a fit of giggles that soon evolved into tears. This was not funny at all! What was she going to do! She decided to find Albus, she was sure he could help her! But how to find him, without students bumping into her on the corridors! There was no way she would go out in this outfit!
"Think, Minerva, think..."
"...Of course, why did you not come up with that sooner!"
She transformed herself into her Animagus form, striding gracefully forward to her door. Nobody would look twice at a cat! She grinned and opened the door with her paw.
*
Lux Evergreen, a Ravenclaw first year was running the fastest her small legs could handle down a circular corridor on her way to the great hall. She was going to be late for breakfast! She had woken up, finding her friends were already gone. She had hurried with her clothes, donning the buttons on her dress while brushing hair. She felt rather tired, and almost stumbled down staircases and almost bumped into one of her friends, Susan.
"Whoa, whoa, Lux take it easy! We'll make it! There's lots of time till breakfast's finish!"
"Phew! I thought I was gonna be extremely late! It's hard finding your way around this damned castle! If I could, I wouldn't have the trouble of even being late! I guess I'll learn one day!"
"Of course! Sorry for not waiting for you, but I was so hungry, and you're so slow sometimes!"
They both grinned and rounded a corner nearly stumbling over a cat striding the same way as they!
"Hey, Suz, look at that cat! Is it Filch's?"
"No! Madam Norris looks different! Look at it Lu! It's looking at us!"
"Suz! Have you've seen its adoringly green eyes!"
"Uhh how cutie, lets take it with us to breakfast!"
Lux bent down and tried to sweep the cat up in her arms several times before she succeeded. It was not easy; it kept struggling trying to get away, meowing in a high-pitched voice. But the two girls just got more excited. They obviously loved cats! Especially cats with green eyes! Lux and Susan walked toward the great hall, the cat on Lux's back sending a scowl at the two girls!
*
Minerva hated this morning more than ever she really despised this day! She angrily berated herself for the thousandth time for plenty of things. Like ever getting out of her bed, for transforming into a cat causing two over- eager enthusiastic girls to go all sappy over her, for choosing a cat as her animagus form, why not a bloody snake or lion! Nobody liked to coddle with snakes or lions! Well hell, she even scolded herself for being a witch, it made things damn complicated sometimes.
There was nothing she could do about her situation she was stuck! Entrapped! By two Ravenclaws! If she had been as sneaky as Snape she would've scratched them, injured those two pathetic girls, teaching them a lesson. But alas she was Minerva McGonagall, and she didn't have the rumor as a terrifying biting professor, and didn't entertain the thought of having it either. She could just imagine what a headline Rita Skeeter would get out of it! Preposterous was the thought on anyone's mind if you told anyone the fair McGonagall would ever bite or scratch anyone! Preposterous! But the thought seemed pretty considerable for her now. Just a little scratch to startle them and let go of her, just a tiny wee tad of a scratch, no one would notice. She argued forth and back with herself, hating herself for not daring to just reach out and give them a little punch!
Before she even came to a decision she was not in a corridor anymore, but the great hall, the big wooden doors banging close behind her and the two foolish girls. The ceiling showed a dark sky, thunderous clouds predicting the promise of rain very soon, just the way she felt. One of the girls, Lux Evergreen, patted her on her head, cooing at her and then she strode after her friend to the Ravenclaws table. Minerva hunched her cat-shoulders and a voice escaped her mouth sounding remotely like a sigh. Wonderful! Just wonderful. Trapped in the great hall, nothing to eat but to watch every one else eat. Terrific! And that fool girl had not let go of her, no she hold onto her with all her might. Damn Ravenclaws! No chance of ever getting away. Minerva sighed again and lay down stretching, looking weakly up at her place at the staff table. For a moment she thought she saw a strange look in Albus eyes as he looked down at her chair too. Probably nothing, but she couldn't beat the feeling that he was worried. Well understandable, you've never been late before, ever – she chided to herself.
Just for a split moment she was sure she was going to transform back to human form, but the thought of standing nearly naked in front of Hogwarts whole student body and staff gave her second thoughts. Lovely day! Simply lovely! Why didn't she listen to herself sometimes? Why didn't she stay in bed, when her senses told her to? If she was not out of the great hall before long, someone was going to suffer being bit by their transfiguration teacher, sure as night was night and day was day. Very soon. She was about to explode she could feel, her impatience running low. In fact her patience for the next year was dreadfully close to nil.
*
The buzz of chatting students eating their breakfast and conversing was like a constant humming filling the great hall, lifting up towards the ceiling, the teachers' talk meddling in between. Albus Dumbledore looked to his right for the seventeenth time since coming to breakfast. And for the seventeenth time the space was empty, no one occupied the chair. He felt a little lonely, given that he was so used to having her next to him to talk with. He felt a little lonely with a touch of worry in it too. Had Minerva McGonagall ever been late for breakfast! Not that he could remember, and his memory was in perfect health. Maybe he should go to her quarters and look for her! In fact he had hoped that she would have visited him this morning, maybe she had forgot! Maybe she was ill!
Others were aware of the missing deputy too, glancing every now and then at her chair, their eyes gliding to the doors and back to the empty chair again, but they didn't voice their concern or curiosity about her absent. Lifting his goblet with juice to his mouth his eyes drifted around the happy room, none of the Gryffindors seemed to know their head of house wasn't at breakfast, everything seemed as a normal day; at least for the students. Maybe she really was ill – but he dismissed the thought again. If she was sick she would have told him, that he knew for sure. But what could it be then!
Severus sitting next to him was scanning the crowd, though this time not scowling at the Gryffindors for a chance, but the Ravenclaws. Albus wasn't curios at all about the odd behavior of his colleague; he knew it was due to an accident that happened yesterday in the dungeons. Obviously someone had succeeded in defeating Longbottoms bad potion talents. Severus was in a terrible mood, he had been going on and on the whole morning about how dim- witted and brainless Ravenclaws really were.
"That Miss Evergreen is pissing me off more than necessary. I'm telling you, Headmaster, she can ruin the easiest potion in the world by being in a 20-meter radius. She's completely thick-headed and worse than.........MCGONAGALL!" Snape suddenly ruined his low sneering by bellowing 'McGonagall' so loud it echoed back to him carrying the starring of everyone present in the great hall.
Albus chuckled lightly, his eyes twinkling for the first time since entering the great hall. What was wrong with Severus now? Minerva wasn't that bad with potions!
"Surely Minerva isn't that bad at potions, Severus, and I feel I need to inform you of what would happen if you had told that with her present, she would have you..." He started but Severus interrupted him still starring at the Ravenclaws table.
"No, not that. She right here, McGonagall! I've just noticed her, at the Ravenclaws table!" He said his voice almost trembling.
"Severus, she's not sitting at the Ravenclaws table; I can't see her!" Albus replied calmly, looking at the Ravenclaws seeing nothing but students looking at the staff table with mixed expressions, mostly curiosity blended with alarm.
"No, not human form, she's in her animagus form laying on Miss Evergreens lap! Can't you see the markings! It's her for sure!"
Albus took a good look with the rest of the staff following his example and right enough there she was, starring dully up at them, yawning.
"Oh my, it is Min! Dumbledore, what's she doing! Why isn't she up here?" Poppy asked looking anxiously at him, the other teachers' facial expressions mimicking her concern. Albus couldn't really help but grin a little, even though he could understand their concern and worry for Minerva. But he had to credit her for making everybody go out of their good skin by doing this, either on purpose or not. If it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation he would probably have laughed out loud.
"Lets go over and find out, shall we? Maybe she's stuck in her animagus form, that can happen!"
The great hall fell silent, as every teacher stood up and walked towards the Ravenclaws table, the students watching in breathless anticipation for what was happening. They stopped right in front of Lux Evergreen, who nervously took a big breath and stroked the cat absently underneath its chin. Albus broke the silence giving a reassuring smile to Lux Evergreen,
"Miss Evergreen would you be so kindly and give me that cat!"
The cat's eyes opened at once at his voice so close, it eyes very much alive not sleepy at all, looking at them all with a touch of humor in the depths of its eyes. Lux Evergreen looked at Albus a little flabbergasted, probably at being addressed personally by the Headmaster.
"Of-of course, Headmaster, here! But-but may I ask why?"
He reached over, taking Minerva gently from Lux placing her on the floor, stroking her along her spine producing a low purr. He chuckled at that, he couldn't for the sake of his life imagine Minerva McGonagall purring. At least not in public! He plunged his fingers into his deep pocket producing a long wand out of it, and was just about to say the incarnation so that Minerva would come back to human form. But the change in her eyes and behavior haltered him a little; it looked like fear. But how could that be, he quickly dismissed it and waved his wand saying the words. Silence followed, as the cat took human form. As the cat became Minerva McGonagall!
*
- OH NO! This is not happening! This IS NOT happening -
Minerva chanted it over and over in her head as she realized what he was about to do! She didn't get the chance to run away and felt herself transforming into her human form. Drat! Her human form with almost nothing on! She closed her eyes as she became herself, listening for anything, but she heard nothing but a shocked silence. Oh Merlin!
Slowly she opened one of her eyes, squinting out through it, and then opened the other much slower, and Albus Dumbledore came into her view. A very shocked and red-faced Albus Dumbledore! Next to him a Severus Snape, just as shaken as him was standing with his mouth hanging open! With a deep breath she straightened herself and spun around looking at the four tables, at Hogwarts pupils. Even the Slytherins was shocked she noticed! Just as she was about to turn around again facing her colleagues a slow clapping began to arise, getting louder! She could feel a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as the cheering continued. And then someone whistled!
Her face was now redder than a tomato, matching the colours of her former house perfectly. They were actually whistling at her! The exciting thought of pulling out her wand hexing them all into next Tuesday seemed a great satisfaction, alas the watching eyes or more like the roving eyes of her colleagues pulled her out of her fantasies – What a shame! I could teach them all some proper respect for their teachers!
The clapping and whistling continued, she even noticed a few from the staff following the students example. Only a few, the others stood dumbfounded gazing at her, their mouth opening and closing, as if they were just about to comment the situation, but then decided against it. She fiddled with her hands, not sure of what to do, when Severus Snape stuttered with his face completely scarlet:
"Um-Um-Min-nerva! You-you-um-look-Why are you wear-wearing that?"
Minerva was close to rolling on the floor laughing hysterically, if it hadn't been for the audience, she would have. She would never have imagined Snape, Severus Snape, stuttering worse than Quirrell for just some clothes – not just clothes, but the lack of decent clothes, Minerva! It was hilarious. Feeling hundreds of eyes on her waiting impatiently for an answer she began to think she would stutter worse than Quirrell too.
"This! Um... Long story! "
"We have plenty of time, so don't mind us, professor! Please go ahead!" Albus finally found the words again and made a contribution to the conversation.
After giving him a certain look, one that promised a lot of bashing later, she wringed her hands nervously and decided she might as well tell them the story, even though it was the whole school listening. She had a despicable feeling that she would be forced to tell the story anyway, so she could either do it voluntary herself or be bullied into telling.
"Well you see, this morning when I woke up something strange had happened. Myclotheswereallgone!"
A whole lot of "I beg you pardon!" and "What?" were the reactions to Minerva's quickly talking, she sighed. This was not going to be as fun as she thought. Well after all she did not like this day at all. She never had!
"I woke up finding all of my clothes had vanished! Someone must have disappeared all of my clothes!" she said while exhaling noisily.
"What in the name of Circe are you doing here in the great hall in your animagus form then, if I may ask?" Snape blurted out rather rashly.
"I – um – It's a looong story! Rather complicated!"
"I think we would like to hear it anyway, we have both time and brains for it!"
"Okay, okay! Well I thought I would tell Dumbledore about the disappearing of my clothes, therefore I transformed into a cat, hence nobody would see me in my – nightgown! On my way to his – your – office a couple of girls ran into me, and decided to pick me up and carry me into the great hall, against my will, of course. I couldn't really just transform back as I wasn't exactly dressed decently and I couldn't scratch them, to run away! So therefore I'm standing here, wearing my nightgown!"
Every head turned towards Lux and Susanne for a moment before turning their attention back to the transfigurations teacher.
"How did your clothes disappear, professor?" asked a freckled brown-haired boy, first-year Hufflepuff.
"Yeah, Minerva! How did all of your garments just disappear in thin air?" Snape asked. Albus was looking at her, his eyes twinkling, not a small hint that a moment before they'd been full of shock. But there was something else in them now, something strange... Something that looked remotely like guilt. She had seen something in his eyes before, and here it was again! What could it be?
"How should I know", turning around facing everybody she went on in a much more tart voice, "AND WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT, THEY'LL WISH THEIR PARENTS NEVER MEET; WHEN I'M DONE WITH THEM! I'LL SKIN THE CULPRIT ALIVE, BOIL..."
"...Calm down, Minerva! I'm positively sure no one from Hogwarts did it!" Albus interrupted her.
"And how do you know that! DID YOU DO IT, ALBUS!"
"NO! Why should I do such a terrible thing, Minerva!"
"I don't know! YOU TELL ME!"
"ARE YOU INSINUATING I DID THIS TO YOU!"
"ARE YOU FEELING RATHER GUILTY, SINCE YOU THINK I'M INSINUATING ANYTHING!"
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU NOW TALKING ABOUT, OF COURSE I..." Longer he didn't get the chance to yell, as all the other teachers screamed in chorus:
"SHUT UP!"
Minerva spun around angrily, her eyes flashing. Albus looked at her nervously, waiting for her feisty temper to go off, and gave his colleagues a glare.
"WHAT!" she snapped.
"Well do you have to show the students a fight between their headmaster and deputy?" Snape retorted.
"NO, of course we don't! HOW SILLY OF US", ending her outburst, Minerva flipped her wand and a bubble wall entrapped the teachers in invisibility from the students. They couldn't see or hear their teachers anymore, and they all began to chatter noisily about this weird morning.
*
"Harry, I can't bloody believe this! McGonagall just blocked us out from their argument!"
"I know!"
"Oh get a hold on yourself, Ron! Of course she didn't want us to hear them talking! That's common sense, would you like everyone to hear an argument you have with another person! It's personal!"
"Hermione, stop being so bloody annoying! Are you saying you wouldn't wanna hear Dumbledore and McGonagall fighting? Didn't you hear them! It was so comical!"
"Typical! You just don't respect people personally!"
"WHAT! Of course I do, just not when it's about our teachers! They aren't humans anyway!"
"Harry, please tell Ron to tape his mouth, or I'm not sure I'll be able reject the idea of strangling HIM!"
"Harry, would you please tell Hermione, that she's not intimidating me and I..."
"Oh both of you shut up!"
"Hmmf!"
"I wonder who really did vanish McGonagall's clothes!" Ron said after a moment looking at the both of them.
"Yeah!"
"I'm positively sure Dumbledore did it!" Seamus joined the conversation.
"No way! Why should he do such a thing to her!" Hermione said outraged.
"I think Seamus has a point here!" Ron remarked.
"What point!"
"I didn't know McGoangall would look that hot in a nightgown!" They all looked pointedly at Lee Jordan, he just grinned.
"Well first of all, it wasn't a nightgown, just a piece of material twisted around her!" Hermione said with a smirk.
"I thought I would never say this, but for once I agree with you, Hermione!" Ron got a punch in his ribs and they all laughed.
"I wonder what they're doing now, the teachers?"
"What do you think man, an orgy of course, what else!" Lee Jordan's comment made Ron spit pumpkin juice in everybody's faces, while the rest of them blushed deep scarlet.
*
"Why do you always have to make a show out of everything, McGonagall!"
"I don't know, Snape, maybe because it was a show beforehand!"
"Can't we talk about Minerva's clothing!"
"Of course, Pomona! I'm just a little curious, are we talking about the clothes she's wearing right now or the lack of it!" Albus blurted out. The minute that left his mouth, his was doubling over with pain in his side. Minerva had punched him in the ribs!
"CRAZY OLD COOT! HOW DARE YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO BE WITTY!"
"OUUCH! DID YOU HAVE TO PUNCH THAT HARD! I'M AN OLD MAN!"
"UHH ARE YOU GETTING TOO SOFT!"
"I'M NOT GETTING SOFT!"
"I'M NOT GOING TO DISCUSS YOUR LACK OF STRENGTH! WHO VANISHED MY CLOTHES!" she demanded angrily her eyes sending daggers at everyone.
"How should we know, Minerva" Poppy said kindly.
Crossing her arms, Minerva stood glaring at Albus.
"What now!"
"Are you ready to swear under Veritaserum that you did not vanish my clothes, Albus?"
"Thanks for your faith in me, Minerva!"
"You did not answer my question, Albus!"
"I did not vanish your clothes! And to what purpose, if I may ask!"
"How should I know? Perhaps your sick idea of fun, how should I know how your twisted mind works! C'mon, you think this is funny, don't you! I'm NOT blind!"
"I admit, it is rather funny, and may I add how smashing you look in that...nightgown, dear!"
"Don't you dear me! Smashing, you say!"
"Beautiful my dear!" he said with a smile.
*SLAP*
He touched his sore cheek tenderly and looked at her questionably, "What did you do that for!" The others were looking outrageous and confused at them – Had Minerva McGonagall just slapped their Headmaster!
Minerva pouted her mouth giving them a look; she took her wand out again and flipped it. Nothing happened, at least that was what most of them thought. Until she moved forward standing close to Dumbledore looking at his new smart tie, indigo blue with lavender and yellow stars.
Minerva looked up at him, seeing his questions in his eyes, she just smirked. Her hand rose and latched onto his tie. Turning on her heel, she dragged him after her like a dog on a leash. She dragged him through the invisibility wall, into the great hall with the amusingly watching eyes of the students; she dragged him through corridors, until they were in his office.
There she let go of him.
"That'll give them something to talk about, my dear!" Albus commented beaming at her.
"Oh shut up and kiss me! I need it! It has been a terrible morning!"
"I know, dear – I know!"
Their lips and tongues tangled only briefly before she broke the kiss.
"So earnestly, do you have any idea who vanished my clothes?"
He blushed, and wriggled his hands twice before answering,
"Now, Minerva, love, don't get mad at me. I'm sorry, but it wasn't on purpose! "
"YOU DID IT!"
"Well I thought you were coming up to me this morning, you usually do, and I really like your nightgown! And you told me yesterday you would come up, remember? I just looked forward to seeing you in that sexy thing! All good intensions, love!"
Her furious glare suddenly turned into a smile. She pressed herself up against him, kissing him thoroughly. He leaned into the kiss and was just about to lift her up, when she moved away, her eyes gleaming with triumph.
He took a step toward her, but didn't get farther as she flipped her wand, and ropes had trapped him midair.
From behind her she showed him his own wand!
"Why, you sly little snake! Give me my wand!"
"Say please!"
"Please! Minerva, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you! Your clothes are already back in your wardrobe! Please, Love! I love you!"
"Ups, I'm sorry Albie, but look at the clock! I've got a class to catch! Have fun! And I love you too!" She kissed him on the cheek, and left his office before he could say a word.
"Minerva! MINERVA! You cannot leave me here! MINERVA MCGONAGALL COME BACK THIS INSTANCE! ... WIFE... MINERVA!"
He miserably looked down at the thick ropes tying his hands and feet's together. Thick magically ropes! He sighed. How could she! That little devious woman had nicked his wand and tapped him in his own office! He was helpless! He sighed yet again.
"This is not happening!"
*
A/N: Payback time is sweet! Heh heh! Likey or despicey? Let me know!
=) I'm still eating mushrooms!
And no, it has no point in this at all!
Why I then write it!
Who knows!
Pal =)
Remember reviews! Thx!
(May the hair on your feet never grow short! Just a little hobbit saying!)
Oh drat, no more writing for me today! Bah!
=)
Summary: Minerva wake up one morning, discovering all her clothes is gone! Disaster! Someone oblivious did it; can she find her clothes and the culprit before her classes begin, without meeting a living being! Payback time is sweet! Read and find out! =)
THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!
*
It was one of those days. One of those days when you felt like you should stay in bed, or something terrible would happen. That was how Minerva McGonagall felt when she heard her alarm clock ringing one early morning in mid September. Sleeping so deeply as she had, the ringing was ignored for some moments. She didn't feel like getting up at all, which were very uncharacteristic of her. She was usually the first to eat her dinner in the great hall, the first in the staff room; usually she liked getting up early. But not today! It was kind of weird, because she had this feeling of foreboding that something would happen today.
But she was after all Minerva McGonagall and stood up, stretching while yawning. Now all she needed was Sybill Trelawney running down to breakfast telling everyone who would listen that the world was going under. Not that she hated the woman, but how many true foretellings had she made in her whole life! 2! But that wasn't so annoying at all; it was her constant chattering about everyones death and unfortune that nerved Minerva. After doing her bed nicely Minerva waded sleepily out to her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, noticing another yawn creeping along her mouth. She put some water in her face, washing away her tiredness. Much better. While brushing her teeth she looked at her slender figure in the mirror. She was still in her nightgown, a very small thing, showing her legs and thighs quite nicely. The neck was extremely low-necked showing her exposed bosom. Good thing she only slept in this small thing. She giggled as she thought of her colleagues' expressions if they saw her in that! She combed her unruly black hair, making it flow down her back instead of sticking in every direction.
Walking to her wardrobe she thought about what to wear today, emerald or black? She decided for emerald, it matched her eyes so lovely. Nothing was bothering her, until she opened her wardrobe.
"For the sake of Merlin's beard!"
Nothing was in there. Nothing at all! All her clothes were gone. She blinked a few times before reacting. She quickly strode forward to her chest, opening the drawers. But again nothing! What! Where were all her clothes! They were there yesterday! After running from her bedroom to her bathroom, and then to her drawing room and kitchen a couple of times, she finally sat back down on her bed starring at nothing, trying to figure this mystery out! All her clothes were gone. She only had the little thing she was wearing and nothing more! Her clothes had been there yesterday! Her clothes couldn't just disappear like that! That was not possible... Hey wait! Maybe someone did it! Maybe someone disappeared her clothes on purpose!
Fred and George Weasley!
Then she remembered they did not go to Hogwarts anymore! But they actually had their own little shop in Diagon Alley. Small and small, maybe the shop weren't that small, in fact it was quite popular. She had visited them, and had found their items quite humorous. She'd always thought they had a sense of humor, well when didn't get on her nerves anyway. But if it weren't them, who could it be? The trio wouldn't have the nerve to do this! Not with Hermione Granger! And Harry could resemble his father sometimes, but this even James wouldn't have done! Though he probably would have with Sirius Black! And Ron had never had the exact same liking for rule breaking as Fred and George! She was sure no Gryffindor had done it! Neither Hufflepuff nor Ravenclaw! Though the Slytherins probably could have! But she just couldn't imagine them disappearing all of her clothes! Why should they? She answered her own question; she was after all professor McGonagall, Head of Gryffindor, despised Gryffindor herself. That was enough motive for any Slytherins! But they would do something else, something embarrassing! Not this! That only left out the Faculty of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry! But who would do something so childish to her!
Rolanda, Pomona, Poppy and Albus!
The first tree could've done it together as a practical joke! It wasn't like they hadn't done anything similar in the past! And Albus did the weirdest things some times, and this wouldn't be beyond him!
Her thoughts was interrupted by her clock ringing again announcing breakfast had started! She groaned!
"What am I to do?" she wondered aloud even though she was alone in her room.
Her classes would begin in about two hours! How was she to teach with nothing to wear! The thought of teaching teenager kids with only her nightgown sent her into a fit of giggles that soon evolved into tears. This was not funny at all! What was she going to do! She decided to find Albus, she was sure he could help her! But how to find him, without students bumping into her on the corridors! There was no way she would go out in this outfit!
"Think, Minerva, think..."
"...Of course, why did you not come up with that sooner!"
She transformed herself into her Animagus form, striding gracefully forward to her door. Nobody would look twice at a cat! She grinned and opened the door with her paw.
*
Lux Evergreen, a Ravenclaw first year was running the fastest her small legs could handle down a circular corridor on her way to the great hall. She was going to be late for breakfast! She had woken up, finding her friends were already gone. She had hurried with her clothes, donning the buttons on her dress while brushing hair. She felt rather tired, and almost stumbled down staircases and almost bumped into one of her friends, Susan.
"Whoa, whoa, Lux take it easy! We'll make it! There's lots of time till breakfast's finish!"
"Phew! I thought I was gonna be extremely late! It's hard finding your way around this damned castle! If I could, I wouldn't have the trouble of even being late! I guess I'll learn one day!"
"Of course! Sorry for not waiting for you, but I was so hungry, and you're so slow sometimes!"
They both grinned and rounded a corner nearly stumbling over a cat striding the same way as they!
"Hey, Suz, look at that cat! Is it Filch's?"
"No! Madam Norris looks different! Look at it Lu! It's looking at us!"
"Suz! Have you've seen its adoringly green eyes!"
"Uhh how cutie, lets take it with us to breakfast!"
Lux bent down and tried to sweep the cat up in her arms several times before she succeeded. It was not easy; it kept struggling trying to get away, meowing in a high-pitched voice. But the two girls just got more excited. They obviously loved cats! Especially cats with green eyes! Lux and Susan walked toward the great hall, the cat on Lux's back sending a scowl at the two girls!
*
Minerva hated this morning more than ever she really despised this day! She angrily berated herself for the thousandth time for plenty of things. Like ever getting out of her bed, for transforming into a cat causing two over- eager enthusiastic girls to go all sappy over her, for choosing a cat as her animagus form, why not a bloody snake or lion! Nobody liked to coddle with snakes or lions! Well hell, she even scolded herself for being a witch, it made things damn complicated sometimes.
There was nothing she could do about her situation she was stuck! Entrapped! By two Ravenclaws! If she had been as sneaky as Snape she would've scratched them, injured those two pathetic girls, teaching them a lesson. But alas she was Minerva McGonagall, and she didn't have the rumor as a terrifying biting professor, and didn't entertain the thought of having it either. She could just imagine what a headline Rita Skeeter would get out of it! Preposterous was the thought on anyone's mind if you told anyone the fair McGonagall would ever bite or scratch anyone! Preposterous! But the thought seemed pretty considerable for her now. Just a little scratch to startle them and let go of her, just a tiny wee tad of a scratch, no one would notice. She argued forth and back with herself, hating herself for not daring to just reach out and give them a little punch!
Before she even came to a decision she was not in a corridor anymore, but the great hall, the big wooden doors banging close behind her and the two foolish girls. The ceiling showed a dark sky, thunderous clouds predicting the promise of rain very soon, just the way she felt. One of the girls, Lux Evergreen, patted her on her head, cooing at her and then she strode after her friend to the Ravenclaws table. Minerva hunched her cat-shoulders and a voice escaped her mouth sounding remotely like a sigh. Wonderful! Just wonderful. Trapped in the great hall, nothing to eat but to watch every one else eat. Terrific! And that fool girl had not let go of her, no she hold onto her with all her might. Damn Ravenclaws! No chance of ever getting away. Minerva sighed again and lay down stretching, looking weakly up at her place at the staff table. For a moment she thought she saw a strange look in Albus eyes as he looked down at her chair too. Probably nothing, but she couldn't beat the feeling that he was worried. Well understandable, you've never been late before, ever – she chided to herself.
Just for a split moment she was sure she was going to transform back to human form, but the thought of standing nearly naked in front of Hogwarts whole student body and staff gave her second thoughts. Lovely day! Simply lovely! Why didn't she listen to herself sometimes? Why didn't she stay in bed, when her senses told her to? If she was not out of the great hall before long, someone was going to suffer being bit by their transfiguration teacher, sure as night was night and day was day. Very soon. She was about to explode she could feel, her impatience running low. In fact her patience for the next year was dreadfully close to nil.
*
The buzz of chatting students eating their breakfast and conversing was like a constant humming filling the great hall, lifting up towards the ceiling, the teachers' talk meddling in between. Albus Dumbledore looked to his right for the seventeenth time since coming to breakfast. And for the seventeenth time the space was empty, no one occupied the chair. He felt a little lonely, given that he was so used to having her next to him to talk with. He felt a little lonely with a touch of worry in it too. Had Minerva McGonagall ever been late for breakfast! Not that he could remember, and his memory was in perfect health. Maybe he should go to her quarters and look for her! In fact he had hoped that she would have visited him this morning, maybe she had forgot! Maybe she was ill!
Others were aware of the missing deputy too, glancing every now and then at her chair, their eyes gliding to the doors and back to the empty chair again, but they didn't voice their concern or curiosity about her absent. Lifting his goblet with juice to his mouth his eyes drifted around the happy room, none of the Gryffindors seemed to know their head of house wasn't at breakfast, everything seemed as a normal day; at least for the students. Maybe she really was ill – but he dismissed the thought again. If she was sick she would have told him, that he knew for sure. But what could it be then!
Severus sitting next to him was scanning the crowd, though this time not scowling at the Gryffindors for a chance, but the Ravenclaws. Albus wasn't curios at all about the odd behavior of his colleague; he knew it was due to an accident that happened yesterday in the dungeons. Obviously someone had succeeded in defeating Longbottoms bad potion talents. Severus was in a terrible mood, he had been going on and on the whole morning about how dim- witted and brainless Ravenclaws really were.
"That Miss Evergreen is pissing me off more than necessary. I'm telling you, Headmaster, she can ruin the easiest potion in the world by being in a 20-meter radius. She's completely thick-headed and worse than.........MCGONAGALL!" Snape suddenly ruined his low sneering by bellowing 'McGonagall' so loud it echoed back to him carrying the starring of everyone present in the great hall.
Albus chuckled lightly, his eyes twinkling for the first time since entering the great hall. What was wrong with Severus now? Minerva wasn't that bad with potions!
"Surely Minerva isn't that bad at potions, Severus, and I feel I need to inform you of what would happen if you had told that with her present, she would have you..." He started but Severus interrupted him still starring at the Ravenclaws table.
"No, not that. She right here, McGonagall! I've just noticed her, at the Ravenclaws table!" He said his voice almost trembling.
"Severus, she's not sitting at the Ravenclaws table; I can't see her!" Albus replied calmly, looking at the Ravenclaws seeing nothing but students looking at the staff table with mixed expressions, mostly curiosity blended with alarm.
"No, not human form, she's in her animagus form laying on Miss Evergreens lap! Can't you see the markings! It's her for sure!"
Albus took a good look with the rest of the staff following his example and right enough there she was, starring dully up at them, yawning.
"Oh my, it is Min! Dumbledore, what's she doing! Why isn't she up here?" Poppy asked looking anxiously at him, the other teachers' facial expressions mimicking her concern. Albus couldn't really help but grin a little, even though he could understand their concern and worry for Minerva. But he had to credit her for making everybody go out of their good skin by doing this, either on purpose or not. If it hadn't been for the seriousness of the situation he would probably have laughed out loud.
"Lets go over and find out, shall we? Maybe she's stuck in her animagus form, that can happen!"
The great hall fell silent, as every teacher stood up and walked towards the Ravenclaws table, the students watching in breathless anticipation for what was happening. They stopped right in front of Lux Evergreen, who nervously took a big breath and stroked the cat absently underneath its chin. Albus broke the silence giving a reassuring smile to Lux Evergreen,
"Miss Evergreen would you be so kindly and give me that cat!"
The cat's eyes opened at once at his voice so close, it eyes very much alive not sleepy at all, looking at them all with a touch of humor in the depths of its eyes. Lux Evergreen looked at Albus a little flabbergasted, probably at being addressed personally by the Headmaster.
"Of-of course, Headmaster, here! But-but may I ask why?"
He reached over, taking Minerva gently from Lux placing her on the floor, stroking her along her spine producing a low purr. He chuckled at that, he couldn't for the sake of his life imagine Minerva McGonagall purring. At least not in public! He plunged his fingers into his deep pocket producing a long wand out of it, and was just about to say the incarnation so that Minerva would come back to human form. But the change in her eyes and behavior haltered him a little; it looked like fear. But how could that be, he quickly dismissed it and waved his wand saying the words. Silence followed, as the cat took human form. As the cat became Minerva McGonagall!
*
- OH NO! This is not happening! This IS NOT happening -
Minerva chanted it over and over in her head as she realized what he was about to do! She didn't get the chance to run away and felt herself transforming into her human form. Drat! Her human form with almost nothing on! She closed her eyes as she became herself, listening for anything, but she heard nothing but a shocked silence. Oh Merlin!
Slowly she opened one of her eyes, squinting out through it, and then opened the other much slower, and Albus Dumbledore came into her view. A very shocked and red-faced Albus Dumbledore! Next to him a Severus Snape, just as shaken as him was standing with his mouth hanging open! With a deep breath she straightened herself and spun around looking at the four tables, at Hogwarts pupils. Even the Slytherins was shocked she noticed! Just as she was about to turn around again facing her colleagues a slow clapping began to arise, getting louder! She could feel a faint blush appearing on her cheeks as the cheering continued. And then someone whistled!
Her face was now redder than a tomato, matching the colours of her former house perfectly. They were actually whistling at her! The exciting thought of pulling out her wand hexing them all into next Tuesday seemed a great satisfaction, alas the watching eyes or more like the roving eyes of her colleagues pulled her out of her fantasies – What a shame! I could teach them all some proper respect for their teachers!
The clapping and whistling continued, she even noticed a few from the staff following the students example. Only a few, the others stood dumbfounded gazing at her, their mouth opening and closing, as if they were just about to comment the situation, but then decided against it. She fiddled with her hands, not sure of what to do, when Severus Snape stuttered with his face completely scarlet:
"Um-Um-Min-nerva! You-you-um-look-Why are you wear-wearing that?"
Minerva was close to rolling on the floor laughing hysterically, if it hadn't been for the audience, she would have. She would never have imagined Snape, Severus Snape, stuttering worse than Quirrell for just some clothes – not just clothes, but the lack of decent clothes, Minerva! It was hilarious. Feeling hundreds of eyes on her waiting impatiently for an answer she began to think she would stutter worse than Quirrell too.
"This! Um... Long story! "
"We have plenty of time, so don't mind us, professor! Please go ahead!" Albus finally found the words again and made a contribution to the conversation.
After giving him a certain look, one that promised a lot of bashing later, she wringed her hands nervously and decided she might as well tell them the story, even though it was the whole school listening. She had a despicable feeling that she would be forced to tell the story anyway, so she could either do it voluntary herself or be bullied into telling.
"Well you see, this morning when I woke up something strange had happened. Myclotheswereallgone!"
A whole lot of "I beg you pardon!" and "What?" were the reactions to Minerva's quickly talking, she sighed. This was not going to be as fun as she thought. Well after all she did not like this day at all. She never had!
"I woke up finding all of my clothes had vanished! Someone must have disappeared all of my clothes!" she said while exhaling noisily.
"What in the name of Circe are you doing here in the great hall in your animagus form then, if I may ask?" Snape blurted out rather rashly.
"I – um – It's a looong story! Rather complicated!"
"I think we would like to hear it anyway, we have both time and brains for it!"
"Okay, okay! Well I thought I would tell Dumbledore about the disappearing of my clothes, therefore I transformed into a cat, hence nobody would see me in my – nightgown! On my way to his – your – office a couple of girls ran into me, and decided to pick me up and carry me into the great hall, against my will, of course. I couldn't really just transform back as I wasn't exactly dressed decently and I couldn't scratch them, to run away! So therefore I'm standing here, wearing my nightgown!"
Every head turned towards Lux and Susanne for a moment before turning their attention back to the transfigurations teacher.
"How did your clothes disappear, professor?" asked a freckled brown-haired boy, first-year Hufflepuff.
"Yeah, Minerva! How did all of your garments just disappear in thin air?" Snape asked. Albus was looking at her, his eyes twinkling, not a small hint that a moment before they'd been full of shock. But there was something else in them now, something strange... Something that looked remotely like guilt. She had seen something in his eyes before, and here it was again! What could it be?
"How should I know", turning around facing everybody she went on in a much more tart voice, "AND WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID IT, THEY'LL WISH THEIR PARENTS NEVER MEET; WHEN I'M DONE WITH THEM! I'LL SKIN THE CULPRIT ALIVE, BOIL..."
"...Calm down, Minerva! I'm positively sure no one from Hogwarts did it!" Albus interrupted her.
"And how do you know that! DID YOU DO IT, ALBUS!"
"NO! Why should I do such a terrible thing, Minerva!"
"I don't know! YOU TELL ME!"
"ARE YOU INSINUATING I DID THIS TO YOU!"
"ARE YOU FEELING RATHER GUILTY, SINCE YOU THINK I'M INSINUATING ANYTHING!"
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU NOW TALKING ABOUT, OF COURSE I..." Longer he didn't get the chance to yell, as all the other teachers screamed in chorus:
"SHUT UP!"
Minerva spun around angrily, her eyes flashing. Albus looked at her nervously, waiting for her feisty temper to go off, and gave his colleagues a glare.
"WHAT!" she snapped.
"Well do you have to show the students a fight between their headmaster and deputy?" Snape retorted.
"NO, of course we don't! HOW SILLY OF US", ending her outburst, Minerva flipped her wand and a bubble wall entrapped the teachers in invisibility from the students. They couldn't see or hear their teachers anymore, and they all began to chatter noisily about this weird morning.
*
"Harry, I can't bloody believe this! McGonagall just blocked us out from their argument!"
"I know!"
"Oh get a hold on yourself, Ron! Of course she didn't want us to hear them talking! That's common sense, would you like everyone to hear an argument you have with another person! It's personal!"
"Hermione, stop being so bloody annoying! Are you saying you wouldn't wanna hear Dumbledore and McGonagall fighting? Didn't you hear them! It was so comical!"
"Typical! You just don't respect people personally!"
"WHAT! Of course I do, just not when it's about our teachers! They aren't humans anyway!"
"Harry, please tell Ron to tape his mouth, or I'm not sure I'll be able reject the idea of strangling HIM!"
"Harry, would you please tell Hermione, that she's not intimidating me and I..."
"Oh both of you shut up!"
"Hmmf!"
"I wonder who really did vanish McGonagall's clothes!" Ron said after a moment looking at the both of them.
"Yeah!"
"I'm positively sure Dumbledore did it!" Seamus joined the conversation.
"No way! Why should he do such a thing to her!" Hermione said outraged.
"I think Seamus has a point here!" Ron remarked.
"What point!"
"I didn't know McGoangall would look that hot in a nightgown!" They all looked pointedly at Lee Jordan, he just grinned.
"Well first of all, it wasn't a nightgown, just a piece of material twisted around her!" Hermione said with a smirk.
"I thought I would never say this, but for once I agree with you, Hermione!" Ron got a punch in his ribs and they all laughed.
"I wonder what they're doing now, the teachers?"
"What do you think man, an orgy of course, what else!" Lee Jordan's comment made Ron spit pumpkin juice in everybody's faces, while the rest of them blushed deep scarlet.
*
"Why do you always have to make a show out of everything, McGonagall!"
"I don't know, Snape, maybe because it was a show beforehand!"
"Can't we talk about Minerva's clothing!"
"Of course, Pomona! I'm just a little curious, are we talking about the clothes she's wearing right now or the lack of it!" Albus blurted out. The minute that left his mouth, his was doubling over with pain in his side. Minerva had punched him in the ribs!
"CRAZY OLD COOT! HOW DARE YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO BE WITTY!"
"OUUCH! DID YOU HAVE TO PUNCH THAT HARD! I'M AN OLD MAN!"
"UHH ARE YOU GETTING TOO SOFT!"
"I'M NOT GETTING SOFT!"
"I'M NOT GOING TO DISCUSS YOUR LACK OF STRENGTH! WHO VANISHED MY CLOTHES!" she demanded angrily her eyes sending daggers at everyone.
"How should we know, Minerva" Poppy said kindly.
Crossing her arms, Minerva stood glaring at Albus.
"What now!"
"Are you ready to swear under Veritaserum that you did not vanish my clothes, Albus?"
"Thanks for your faith in me, Minerva!"
"You did not answer my question, Albus!"
"I did not vanish your clothes! And to what purpose, if I may ask!"
"How should I know? Perhaps your sick idea of fun, how should I know how your twisted mind works! C'mon, you think this is funny, don't you! I'm NOT blind!"
"I admit, it is rather funny, and may I add how smashing you look in that...nightgown, dear!"
"Don't you dear me! Smashing, you say!"
"Beautiful my dear!" he said with a smile.
*SLAP*
He touched his sore cheek tenderly and looked at her questionably, "What did you do that for!" The others were looking outrageous and confused at them – Had Minerva McGonagall just slapped their Headmaster!
Minerva pouted her mouth giving them a look; she took her wand out again and flipped it. Nothing happened, at least that was what most of them thought. Until she moved forward standing close to Dumbledore looking at his new smart tie, indigo blue with lavender and yellow stars.
Minerva looked up at him, seeing his questions in his eyes, she just smirked. Her hand rose and latched onto his tie. Turning on her heel, she dragged him after her like a dog on a leash. She dragged him through the invisibility wall, into the great hall with the amusingly watching eyes of the students; she dragged him through corridors, until they were in his office.
There she let go of him.
"That'll give them something to talk about, my dear!" Albus commented beaming at her.
"Oh shut up and kiss me! I need it! It has been a terrible morning!"
"I know, dear – I know!"
Their lips and tongues tangled only briefly before she broke the kiss.
"So earnestly, do you have any idea who vanished my clothes?"
He blushed, and wriggled his hands twice before answering,
"Now, Minerva, love, don't get mad at me. I'm sorry, but it wasn't on purpose! "
"YOU DID IT!"
"Well I thought you were coming up to me this morning, you usually do, and I really like your nightgown! And you told me yesterday you would come up, remember? I just looked forward to seeing you in that sexy thing! All good intensions, love!"
Her furious glare suddenly turned into a smile. She pressed herself up against him, kissing him thoroughly. He leaned into the kiss and was just about to lift her up, when she moved away, her eyes gleaming with triumph.
He took a step toward her, but didn't get farther as she flipped her wand, and ropes had trapped him midair.
From behind her she showed him his own wand!
"Why, you sly little snake! Give me my wand!"
"Say please!"
"Please! Minerva, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you! Your clothes are already back in your wardrobe! Please, Love! I love you!"
"Ups, I'm sorry Albie, but look at the clock! I've got a class to catch! Have fun! And I love you too!" She kissed him on the cheek, and left his office before he could say a word.
"Minerva! MINERVA! You cannot leave me here! MINERVA MCGONAGALL COME BACK THIS INSTANCE! ... WIFE... MINERVA!"
He miserably looked down at the thick ropes tying his hands and feet's together. Thick magically ropes! He sighed. How could she! That little devious woman had nicked his wand and tapped him in his own office! He was helpless! He sighed yet again.
"This is not happening!"
*
A/N: Payback time is sweet! Heh heh! Likey or despicey? Let me know!
=) I'm still eating mushrooms!
And no, it has no point in this at all!
Why I then write it!
Who knows!
Pal =)
Remember reviews! Thx!
(May the hair on your feet never grow short! Just a little hobbit saying!)
Oh drat, no more writing for me today! Bah!
=)