Ianto clung to Jack's hand in a way he never would during the day in public. The thought made him feel guilty and regretful, but he didn't have space to spare in his consciousness just then. All Ianto could think was that Jack's hand was colder than his own. That never happened. Even when Jack was dead. But Ianto couldn't remember Jack ever having been 'out' this long – it was more than an hour already. Granted, there was no other sign of 'decay' or anything else, but… Jack was never cold.
What if this was it? Ianto barely let the thought enter his mind. He couldn't. But… eventually, Ianto was certain of it, Jack's number would be up. He'd hit the universe's pre-allocated number of deaths or something would happen to him that nothing could repair. Eventually. Ianto didn't believe in 'forever.'
"Come on, Jack," Ianto whispered desperately, his voice reedy from that awful clawing feeling inside him. "You don't really want to go, do you? Not when there's so much…."
What if Jack did want to go, though? And, worse, what if Jack wanted to go and had a chance – but gave it up to stay with him?
Ianto forced those thoughts down. "Stay, Jack. Please. I can't… I can't do this without -"
Just then, life – painful, glaring, and deafening – slammed full-force back into Jack Harkness, sending him gasping and spasming like he'd been electrocuted.
Ianto clutched Jack to him as Jack's fingers scrabbled and grasped to cling on to Ianto. Ianto inhaled just as deeply as Jack, feeling like he hadn't breathed in more than hour either.
Eventually, Jack began to relax in Ianto's arms. For a moment, Ianto thought he might just curl up and fall asleep. The walkway they were sat on wasn't really the ideal place for a nap, though.
Then Jack turned his head and looked up at Ianto. "Thanks," Jack said simply.
Ianto couldn't say anything right away, just hearing Jack again was a relief. "Jack… did you want to…." Ianto didn't want to ask, he didn't know why he was asking. "Not come back?"
Jack looked up at him in confusion for a moment, wondering if there was something different about this death. It'd all felt the same for Jack, relatively. For a moment, Jack asked himself if maybe he hadn't wanted to come back. Maybe he'd said something while he was unconscious, but of course it wasn't 'unconscious' and he didn't talk while dead like some people did asleep.
Jack looked up at Ianto again and the answer was right there. "No, I wanted to come back."
Ianto held Jack a little tighter. "But, your doctor… you wanted him to -"
"I wanted him to fix me, Ianto," Jack said, sitting up to pull Ianto into his arms. "Not so I could die. So I could live. Really, just the once, like everybody else."
"I know, but, Jack… I can't imagine…." Ianto was started to feel embarrassed, but the relief to have Jack ok again was overwhelming. "I can't imagine losing you for real."
Jack was quite for a long while, just holding Ianto against him, thinking exactly the same thing, knowing that one day he would. Eventually.
As Jack held him, Ianto realized that eventually Jack would be the one holding him, desperately wishing he'd come back. Eventually.