hello guys it's been a while! i took a little hiatus i guess. anyway i bring you this! a while ago i went to the boston tea party thing, and saw sarah palin speak. the lady is so adorable, but so... crazy. and from that came this.
don't take it too seriously.
i don't own anything.
Alfred never liked meetings. He didn't not like his boss, or the people who worked for him, but the thought of sitting perfectly still in a stuffy room with boring politicians didn't exactly have him jumping for joy. That was why, as soon as the meeting was adjourned, Alfred was hopping out of his seat, quickly trying to gather his things and leave.
"Mr. America!" A familiar voice called behind him, and Alfred immediately groaned. He would recognize that Alaskan accent anywhere... He put on a smile, turning around to greet her. "Hi Mrs. Palin... What's up?"
"Oh, please," she grinned at him. "Call me Sarah, Mr. America." Alfred could have sworn he saw her wink at him, but quickly brushed it off. "I was wondering if you could look over some things for my Tea Party? It's going to be one patriotic shindig, I'll tell you that!" Alfred sighed, looking at his watch and nodding.
"Okay, but... I hope it doesn't take very long, England hates it when I'm late to our lunch meetings!"
"It won't. Just... Sit down." She grinned and took him by the shoulders, leading him to a chair and sitting him down in it. Alfred blinked, looking around. Everyone else had left, it was only Sarah Palin and Alfred F. Jones in the little conference room.
"Uhm, Mrs. Palin..."
"Ssh," Sarah leaned forward, pressing a finger to his lips. "Sarah, my fellow American." Frowning, Alfred tried to sit up. He felt uncomfortable, and now he just wanted to leave, call Arthur, and go home. However, Sarah kept him pinned with the force of an Alaskan grizzly bear, using one hand to undo her hair, letting it fall around her shoulders.
"You know, Mr. America," she breathed over his ear, and Alfred blushed. "I can see Russia from my house... But I really want to see you..." Sarah whispered. "Naked."
"W-Woah, what's that supposed to mean...!"
"You can eat my burger... You can have it your way." She winked at him, that over exaggerated wink that only Sarah could pull off. But now, Alfred saw it in a whole different way. He squirmed against her grasp, as she undid the first few buttons on the front of her blazer. Alfred desperately tried to reach for his cell phone, to call Arthur, or Matthew, or anyone that could come interrupt the situation.
"I... I thought you were seeing Joe the Plumber!" He breathed, frowning at her.
"I was." She grinned. "I saw Joe the Plumber's toolkit. I made Katie Couric the flustered one... But... It was only then that I realized that my true love was you, America..." She leaned forward to kiss him, and Alfred saw his opportunity. He leaned forward, diving under her arm and rolling away from her to the door.
"I have to go!" He laughed nervously. "Y-You know how Iggy gets when I keep him waiting...!" He opened the door, quickly bolting out of the room and down the hall, a heavy blush still evident on his cheeks.
And when he showed up to the restaurant looking flustered and muttering something about mavericks, Arthur didn't question it. He simply patted the boy on the back, ordered him a drink, and explained the concept of patriotism to him.