The Death Song

Disclaimer: I don'town Percy Jackson and the Olympians, nor do I have any prejudice against those whose name is John Rutter. I only dislike the composer who goes by that name. Even better, I don't know the man himself, so I cannot judge his character, so I cannot dislike him. Therefore, it is easier to say that I hate his 65-page "Requiem".

AN: This is based on a true story. John Rutter exists, or he's dead, no one really clarified his state for me. I actually had to sing a sixty-five page long song by John Rutter, and it was death in the form of musical notes. One, the first sopranos had to die to sing the high notes, and two; a requiem is a song about dead people. So yes, some of the events that occur just might have happened to me.

"Ugh, Mr. D's really out of sorts this month," groaned Percy, glancing at Annabeth.

"No kidding," Annabeth agreed. "The thing is, I couldn't have possibly imagined the torture he just put us through. I never thought he would be so cruel."

Percy turned towards her and raised an eyebrow. "Uh… Annabeth, this is Mr. D we're talking about here. Of course he'd be sadistic enough to devise what we just went through."

"Unh, I think I killed my vocal chords."

"Me, too. I wish that evil composer had never been born. I ask you, what could be more torturous than singing that cursed Death Song?"

"Put the blame where it should go, Percy. Hate Mr. D for tossing us into music classes for the rest of the summer."

"Hmm… maybe we shouldn't have soaked his underwear in meat and sicced the dogs on him."

"We? Excuse me, I don't believe I was involved in that incident."

"Hmm… maybe he wants to kill us. He did threaten to turn me into a bottlenose dolphin one time…"

"Percy!"

"What? It's perfectly plausible."

"Maybe you shouldn't have accidentally shot him in the foot during Archery."

"It really was an accident this time, honest!"

"Uh-huh."

"Honest."

"Okay, I believe you. Just like I believe you paid the Hermes cabin to hide the banned junk you had in your cabin during inspection."

"Shh! Do you want a harpy to come swooping down and eat me?"

"No. Now come on, spill. What did you do to Mr. D to tick him off and throw me to the wolves with you?"

"Heh-heh… um… I might have mentioned you were involved in the meat-soaking episode."

"PERCY!!!"

"Hey, I would've been lonely, stuck in music classes all summer without you."

"Aww, that's touching, really. Unfortunately, it doesn't make me any less angry with you!"

"Uh-oh!" Percy turned around and started running like the whole Titan host was after him. Annabeth was hot on his heels.

Luckily, after a few yards, Percy spotted Chiron, and ducked behind him to prevent Annabeth from seeing him.

"Chiron," Percy asked, "Would you mind saving me from Annabeth? She's intent on killing me."

Chiron glanced smilingly down at the boy, and replied, "Surely you are exaggerating, Percy."

Just then, he heard Annabeth yelling, "PERCY, YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

Percy gulped.

Chiron inquired, "What did you do?"

"I might have gotten her sucked into torturous music classes along with me."

"Did you shoot Dionysus in the foot again?"

"It was an accident this time!"

"What did you do?"

"I soaked his underwear in meat and might have arranged for a few hungry dogs to smell it…"

Chiron sighed, and shook his head. "Really, Percy. You need to stop pulling pranks. Now tell me, how did you get Annabeth sucked into this?"

"I might have mentioned she knew about it and she didn't do anything to stop me. What's that called in legal terms? Something like an accessory?"

"No wonder she's angry."

"Seriously, you have to protect me. I don't want my best friend to kill me."

"I'm afraid I cannot help you, Percy. You did do something wrong, and therefore, you must pay the price for your rash, and, to be honest, rather foolish actions." With those words, Chiron turned and walked away, leaving Percy at Annabeth's mercy.

Annabeth stalked up to Percy. Percy looked petrified. When she stopped, he knelt down in front of her and started begging for mercy.

"Annabeth, you don't want to kill me, do you? Look at this face. Do you really want to hurt the one who has this face?" He looked up imploringly at Annabeth, his face resembling that of a little boy who has been caught doing wrong and is now appealing to his mother to escape punishment.

Annabeth felt herself softening. Percy looked so vulnerable and, well, cute, at that moment that she couldn't find it in her heart to give him the thrashing he deserved. Instead, she hauled him to his feet, smacked him upside the head, and said, "All right, Seaweed Brain. You're safe this time. I guess if I had to get stuck in music classes, I'd rather be stuck with you."

Percy grinned and said sweetly, "Thank you for not killing me, Annabeth."

Annabeth rolled her eyes, and muttered, "How can I, when you give me that look?"

"Eh?"

"Come on Seaweed Brain, we better get to Archery. And try not to shoot Mr. D in the foot. I don't want to spend all summer singing that death song!"

"Okay…" Percy now sounded like a child who had had his cookies taken away from him for a month.

"Percy…" warned Annabeth.

"All right. I won't."

The weeks rolled by, and John Rutter's "Requiem" became ever more torturous. Some days, Percy's and Annabeth's vocal chords were so worn out, they could barely speak. It hurt to swallow. However, about a month later, Annabeth, who had been put in the first soprano section, had to hit a note that was so high, and hold it for so long that she fainted. Then again, it was a really hot day, so maybe it was the heat and not the lack of oxygen…

Percy fared no better. Even though he was a bass (please don't ask if I'm referring to a type of fish), the note were still a little high, and he was beginning to wonder if Luke would be kind enough to sic another scorpion on him and put him out of his misery.

Finally, the day came when both Percy and Annabeth had to perform the "Death Song". The guys had to wear—it hurt to say it—tuxes. And the girls had to wear—oh, ye gods in Olympus—heels. High heels. When Percy looked at himself in the mirror, he turned to his half brother Tyson and asked, "Who's the penguin?"

Tyson looked to be at a loss for words. Finally, he answered, "You're wearing a tux, brother. The Penguin Effect is upon you."

In spite of himself, Percy burst out laughing. "No kidding!" he laughed. Then he turned to Tyson and asked, "Tyson, what would I do without you to make a bad situation seem funny?"

Tyson shrugged, and answered, "You wouldn't laugh as often."

Percy grinned at his brother, and walked out the door, bracing himself for the torture that was ahead.

Annabeth was equally unhappy. The high heels she wore were killing her feet, and she was ready to start cursing from the pain. She wished she'd broken them in before the performance. Well, too late for regrets now. There was no point in thinking about what she should have or could have done. With a sigh, she turned and left her cabin, looking like she was going to her doom.

Strangely enough, the performance went very well. They got a standing ovation, no one fainted or puked, and no one fell and broke their neck from wearing the death traps we call heels. When it was over, Percy and Annabeth were thrown into a state of stunned relief. Their punishment was over and they had survived.

"Thank the gods," they gasped, and sank into a catatonic state which no one could rouse them from until they were fully recovered from the trauma of what they had gone through. Subsequently, both Athena and Poseidon were ticked off with Dionysus for torturing their kids, and Zeus sent him off to a grueling job working in a coal mine.

The End

Penguin Effect- my term for what men look like when they wear tuxedos.