I'm Worthless

Pacifica sat down on the stone steps leading up to the mansion. Her mansion. Her parent's mansion. She frowned, knowing full well she was going to get into an extreme amount of trouble. She had opened the gates and let the common wealth into her home to please the spirit of a long deceased lumberjack. It still sounds crazy, even after the experience.

The loud chatter of conversation filled the background. She was debating on if she should just leave, walk away from the mansion, and never come back.

"What are you doing out here?" came a voice.

Pacifica looked up to find someone she didn't expect to be here. Someone who she thought didn't want anything to do with her "Stanford Pines?" she asked.

Stan tilted his head to the empty space beside her "Care if I take a seat?" he asked, his hands tucked in his pockets.

Pacifica blinked a few times, scooting over to make room for the older man "No, no. Go ahead," she said, swallowing a lump in her throat.

Stan took a seat beside her. He was wearing his usual Mr. Mystery outfit, minus the fez. Pacifica shifted her gaze to the side, feeling a wave of awkwardness wash over her. Why was he here? Not that it's a bad thing, as long as he doesn't steal anything, but why? With her? Why is he sitting here like they've been best friends for years? Why is he sitting next to her like this is normal?

"So, you opened the gates?" he asked, glancing down at her. Pacifica nodded slowly "Y-yes… I did…" she mumbled, softly, voice nearly catching in her throat. Why was she so nervous? It's not like this is the first time they've talked.

"But it is," a voice spoke up "It is the first time you've talked. Like this. Like friends." The voice sounded distinctly like her mothers. Another voice spoke up "What are you thinking, talking to someone of his kind? You're a Northwest!" Her father's voice…

If Stan noticed Pacifica's discomfort he didn't say anything "I saw you with Dipper before you came out here," he said "Looked like you've changed a lot."

Pacifica shrugged "I-I guess so… I mean…." she trailed off, not knowing what else to say. She tucked her knees close to her chest, as if it was some way of keeping her safe "My parents are going to yell at me and shut everyone out again," she muttered, which surprised both her and Stan. She was usually so tightlipped about her opinion and her parents. Stan chuckled "Yeah, probably. Speakin' of, I'm surprised they haven't tried to find you yet."

"They're hiding in the safe room, most likely. To afraid to come out and rub elbows with common wealth."

Stan smiled "They have a safe room for that?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pacifica shrugged "I think it's just a general safe room. But, maybe you're right," she said, relaxing a little. She liked this. She liked talking to Stan. Pacifica was surprised at how nice he sounded. She wanted to talk to him more. Maybe she could go to the Mystery Shack sometimes and just talk. She could meet all of Dippers friends, make amends with his sister. It'd be… Nice…

Stan crossed his arms, resting them on his legs "You know kid, I'll bet you they don't hate you."

Pacifica was surprised at the words. She knew who he was talking about, but she didn't want to believe it, which led her to ask "Who doesn't hate me?"

Stan locked eyes with her. Pacifica saw the warmth and tenderness in his eyes. Nothing like her father's cold ones. Though sometimes, she liked to think that he didn't mean to look so cold. Stan gave her a soft smile "I think you already know the answer to that," he said. Before Pacifica could reply there was a faint sound of footsteps behind them as someone walked down the stairs. Pacifica swallowed thickly, not wanting to turn around and see who it was. She knew it was her father. She knew he would ring that bell. She knew he would snap at her about sitting beside this con man.

"Stanford Pines? What on earth are you doing here?"

Stan did his best not to wince. He had grown used to being called Stanford, but sometimes, sometimes it still stung. Sometimes he wanted to correct them; say it's StanLEY, not StanFORD. But he always fought the urges away.

"Preston Northwest," Stan muttered, shifting his gaze to look up at the man who was standing beside him, staring down at him "I assumed that this was an opened party. Anyone was allowed to come. So, I thought I would stop by and pay my grandniece and grandnephew a visit, see how they were doin'," he said. Preston glared at him, Stan returning it.

Pacifica stared at the two, looking from Stan to Preston, then back to Stan. She couldn't stop her mouth form speaking "Do you two… Know each other?" She quickly covered her mouth, wishing she had just kept it shut. What has gotten into her tonight?

Stan seemed surprised that Pacifica was able to speak, considering that she, as soon as her father showed up, looked nervous and shaky "Yeah," he replied. Preston shifted his gaze, swallowing "Not well, but we do know each other," he said. Stan rolled his eyes "You sure? I distinctly remember getting into a fight with you at one point in my life," he said. Preston grimaced at the memory "Can't seem to let the past go, can you?" he asked, slowly, edging his way down, sitting beside Stan.

Pacifica raised an eyebrow, confusion taking hold of her face. Stan noticed this and smiled "You know, I should probably go see how Dipper and Mabel are doing," he said, getting up and dusting himself off.

Preston fought back the urge to say "But I just got here." As much as he hates to admit it, he likes Stan. He's never once tried to befriend him outside of their small chatter on business, due to the fact that he owns Northwest soil, but sometimes he wants to talk to him. Probably because he treats Preston like another common wealth. Treats him like he's just a poor man who doesn't have the ability to ruin his life. It makes Preston feel a tightness in his chest. This man has the audacity to just… To just… Treat him like some commoner. It was a new feeling that Preston… Found he liked. He liked being treated as if he wasn't powerful. As if he was just a normal human. God help him, he even showed Stan some tenderness in his eyes at one point.

Stan glanced down at Preston, the two locking eyes and having a silent conversation.

Pacifica stared at them in wonder. She had never seen her father look so nervous. His eyes didn't look cold, but tender, showing nervousness, even if his face looked stiff and unemotional.

The silent conversation broke as Stan nodded, shooting Pacifica one last smile, and turning to walk up the Northwest mansion steps.

Preston looked at his daughter, the tenderness gone, but the nervousness definitely evident in his eyes.

Pacifica swallowed. She managed to bite back the urge to yell. To scream for Stan to come back. She didn't want to be alone with her father.

Preston raised a hand, causing Pacifica to flinch. Preston had never hit her before, but there's always a first time for everything. Preston rested his hand on her shoulder "Pacifica…" he began, feeling nervous claw at the back of his mind "I… I'm sorry…"

Pacifica blinked "What…?" she couldn't help the question from escaping her mouth. She stared up at her father, his eyes taking on a much softer look.

"I'm sorry… For everything. For being a terrible parent. For treating you like you were some animal. For never being there when you needed me. For turning you into an image of me when I was your age. For turning into my father. For…" Preston bit his bottom lip, chewing on it. He wasn't sure how to continue. He was never good with heart to heart situations, especially ones involving his daughter, but Stan insisted that he should try. Try and reach out to her. To apologize and fix things with her.

"After all…" Stan's voice spoke up in the back of Preston's mind "You're the only person who's standing in the way of changing your personality." Preston swallowed, trying to keep his hands form shaking "You don't have to be your father, Preston."

Pacifica swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat "You… You're apologizing? For…?" Pacifica chocked out. She didn't want to cry; she didn't want to let people see this weakness.

A thought tugged at the back of her mind "This is nothing but a dream. A poor, sad, unrealistic, dream. Preston Northwest, your father, would never say these things. He would never apologize. There would never be any sign of softness or tenderness in his cold, glazed over eyes. Wake up Pacifica! Wake up before you get hurt!" a voice in her mind hissed.

Pacifica stared down at her lap, hands folded "I'm worthless…"

The words were practically inaudible, but Preston heard them. He heard them and felt a pit form in his stomach. He had become just like his father. He had made his daughter feel worthless. He had made his daughter feel like a mistake. Preston couldn't handle this wave of guilt and sadness pushing down on him, dragging him deeper and deeper into an endless darkness. He felt tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. How could he just let this happen? How could he just let his daughter feel this way? How…?

Pacifica felt herself being wrapped into a tight embrace. It was warm and inviting. She was being hugged by her father. She was being hugged by Preston. She hadn't noticed it before, but both of them were shaking. Tears trailed down both of their faces as they just sat there, the cool night breeze brushing against their exposed skin. Pacifica slowly began to hug back, tightly gripping onto the back of her father's suit. She buried her face in his shoulder, trying to stop crying.

"You aren't worthless… You are the most amazing daughter I could ever ask for… And I thank you for standing up to me," Preston choked out, doing his best to fight off the tears pouring from his eyes "I love you, Pacifica."

Pacifica let out a choked breath "I love you too, dad."

Stan smiled as he watched the scene before him. His arms were tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the wall. He sighed "Looks like I was good for somethin' after all…" he muttered, feeling a wave of joy wash over him.