Draco: Here's the story. Due to some personal difficulties, I was late to the Wii U party. Very late. Literally, I got a Wii U, and the next day a Nintendo newsletter showed up in my inbox about the Switch. However, I am absolutely satisfied with everything about the Wii U, and I am not so sure that I'm gonna pick up a Switch with any haste (though I'm gonna try not to be this late again). My current game reportoire includes Pokkén Tournament (which I was sorely tempted to write a pseudo-literation of, despite the advancing doom of Sun & Moon), The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD (Goddess, memorizing those Snowpeak jumps on the Wii version did me no favours in getting this one), and The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD (it was my first time playing Wind Waker, I made a lot of stupid mistakes because I kept forgetting that magic was a thing). And Mario Kart, because I couldn't find a retailer that didn't have that bundle. Came with the DLC, too.

Incidentally, I am on a(nother) Zelda kick, which is why K+C Season II is in stasis. Consequently, Hyrule Warriors is in my interest (both of them, though the original moreso than Legends), and I have been running into so many spoilers that I pretty much gave up on the grounds that Zelda Wiki had it all covered in non-canon banners (and that every game I have been spoilered about has nonetheless managed to have some impact if I haven't watched a YouTube playthrough). The discovery that most shocks me in reading this information?

Tetra has a pistol.

Now, developmentally speaking, this is astonishingly unnecessary, and I sincerely hope with every fibre in my being that this does not foreshadow any future developments for the Zelda series. Firearms have no business in the Legend of Zelda, and the only thing stopping me from putting on my mask, breaking into the most YouTube-worthy rant, and putting it on YouTube myself is the fact that this is - by one degree of separation - not the Legend of Zelda.

But thematically speaking, this is horrifyingly appropriate and I want to write a fanfic about it.

Now, I have played Wind Waker and Spirit Tracks, but not Phantom Hourglass. Consequently, we're going to put this after Wind Waker but before Phantom Hourglass, and I am going to do everything in my power to keep this from going totally off the timeline like the last time I wrote a Zelda fanfic (you would not believe the idiocy that transpired on that one). However, I am going to use the term "Salvage Arm" to refer to the Grappling Hook hauling up treasure in the deeps. Also, bombs as cannonballs is both visually awesome and functionally improbable. We're going to take the Twilight Princess approach to cannons that work with bombs.

Also, disclaimer: as my frequent readers know from my profile page (and may have inferred from my previously-written firefights), I don't know guns very well. I have no intact memory of firing or even holding a gun that didn't shoot a foam dart. I don't even play paintball. I am writing this entirely out of my ass. If you're a gun nut, I strongly recommend against reading this because my portrayals of gunplay may be horrendously inaccurate.

The Legend of Zelda and all related properties © Nintendo.

Log 1: The Captain's Cunning

"A hit!"

It had been a month since the last remnants of Hyrule had been washed away by the gods of the Triforce. Ever since, pirate captain Tetra and her crew had been sailing the oceans, letting the wind guide them to whatever unfamiliar lands awaited. And the wind did never impede them when they had a set destination - for the Hero of Winds had chosen to accompany them, and with the Wind Waker in hand, he could turn the gales to whatever their needs demanded.

Many a day ended like this since their voyage began; the crew would gather on the lowest level of the ship and spar with one another to three blows, to decide who was left with which tasks for the next day. Everyone would draw straws, and the first two would duel; then, the next one would fight the victor. If the last victor was a different guy than whoever the first one defeated had lost to, they would be permitted another attempt, and so on. If one man took victory against everyone else, then the others would continue without him. A score would be kept of who lost to who, and whenever the loop closed, they would tally victories.

Perhaps expectedly, Link made a point of never being in the first match. The waker of the winds was the best swordsman on the ship, and left-handed to boot. On a good day - a really good day - he would straight-up take the pen and mark himself the loser against everyone, volunteering himself for whatever tasks nobody wanted to do. Otherwise, he would let everyone else fight their rounds, give them some time to rest up (and tire himself out a little while they did) and then take on whoever was in the best shape for a spar.

Today had not been the best of days - taking a boat-rocking broadside with a really big chest dangling from your Salvage Arm will do that. Link had fought his rounds against Gonzo, Senza, Nudge, Mako, and Zuko, losing only to Gonzo (and some of the others suspected that was only because Gonzo had won against everyone else tonight, and Link didn't want to make things last longer with a tiebreaker); now he landed a sharp blow on Niko. They used makeshift wooden swords during these matches to minimize the chance of injury, but a thrust with a long piece of wood is still gonna sting a little, and as Niko recoiled from the blow Link allowed him a brief pause to regain his stance.

Niko went for a wild flail, but Link sidestepped the hit and slapped him on the leg, prompting Nudge to call out again, "A hit!" Niko hopped back on one leg - and with the other, moved his sword into a round strike that connected with the shoulder of Link's sword arm, causing him to yelp and hop back. "A hit!" Niko smirked and charged forward, leaping into the air in an imitation of Link's jump attack, but Link only rolled aside, leaving Niko's sword to slam into the lower deck; retaliating, Link quickly struck him with a light blow to the back.

And a loud, explosive crack sounded the moment his weapon connected, throwing everyone to their feet.

Link yelped, dropping his sword and stepping back, fearful he had hit a lot harder than he had meant to - but Niko only turned around, surprised. On seeing Link's expression, he quickly assured his (former) swabbie, "That wasn't me! You didn't break me!"

Zuko raised his gaze. "It came... from the deck."

Gonzo started. "Miss Tetra!"

Link quickly turned on his heel, grabbing his Hero's Sword and Mirror Shield (they had learned the first day that a sword sheathed on your person doesn't do much to stop a blow, but a shield hooked on your back does) and scrambling up the ladder. The whole crew was right behind him as he charged up the stairs - they were nearly out on the deck when another crack sounded, and Link slammed into the door shield-first to throw it open and guard himself in the process.

Tetra was standing at the stern. There was a large, thick target set up before her, with several holes in it - and they could see the stars on the other side. In the captain's left hand was a small, cylindrical figure affixed to what looked like a crossbow handle; an opening on one end was smoking, and in her right hand was a handful of powder from a sliced-open bomb that was sitting on the deck. Next to that was a barrel of small metal balls that were usually used to check inclines on land when something needed blowing up, to make sure the bombs wouldn't be rolling into the crew. At the stampeding footsteps from behind her, Tetra turned around to see the entire crew standing there - Link was at the front with shield and sword in accord, and everyone else had their hands on their weapons.

"...What?"

Link's gaze went from side to side - there were no ships visible on the seas, nor any islands close enough to be threatening. Everyone else had their gaze on the item in the captain's hands, and after a moment Mako spoke up. "Miss... what is that?"

Tetra lowered her gaze to her item. "This?" she asked, raising it before her. "It's a little cannon I've been working on."

"A cannon?" Senza gave the item a judgmental look. "Miss, that doesn't look like it would be much use against a ship."

"It's... never mind," Tetra insisted. "Look, what are you guys out here for?"

"Was that just your cannon going off?!" Gonzo demanded. "We heard something we've never heard before! We thought you were in danger!"

At that, Tetra lowered her gaze. "Sorry..."

Niko sighed. "Hey, don't worry about it! Just good to know the captain's alright, alright?" He turned around and started back below decks, the rest of the crew following him. "Let's call it a night! How many rounds did I lose?"

"All of them," Nudge informed him. "Link did hit you that third time before we came out, right?"

"Yeah, that's why he was panicking," Mako confirmed. "Thought he'd broken..."

+x+x+x+

Tetra was up early the next morning; the sun had yet to rise, and without any hurry for their next destination, she elected to let the crew sleep in until it did. Making her way out to the deck, she found Link at the aft end with a broom and dustpan held together in one hand - and an expression on his face that implied he had been sneezing.

"Link!" The captain's call prompted him to raise his gaze, seeing Tetra standing there surprised. "What are you doing so early?"

The swordsman beckoned to the barrel of metal balls. Her sliced-open bomb from yesterday was sitting atop it, and Tetra realized that she had left that on the deck when she had called it a night; it must have been rolling about on the deck and spilling powder everywhere. "Oh, goddesses," Tetra gasped, "I can't believe I forgot about that. Thanks."

Link only raised his empty hand reassuringly with a smile. Tetra stepped towards the barrel, grabbing the bomb from it; it felt a lot emptier, but a bit of shaking revealed that there was still a bit of powder left in it. Absently, she took a handful of power and tossed it off the deck of the ship - whereupon it simply started to drift down into the sea.

"Nothing for wind," she sighed, setting the bomb back down. "Gonna have to conduct if we wanna get anywhere in the morning."

After a moment's thought, she became aware of Link staring at her with a very deep-thought look on his face. After a moment's contemplation, she reached into her pocket. "Let me guess," she prompted, drawing out her hand-held cannon. "You've got some questions about this?"

Link gave a quiet chuckle and a nod.

Tetra turned round, holding the weapon before her. "I've been working on this for a good while," she admitted. "I figured, the cannons are useful enough, but they're mounted to the ship. A bow's useful enough, but I want something with a little more... oomph to it, you know what I mean?"

To her surprise, Link shook his head slowly.

"How do I put this...?" Tetra leaned her head back, her gaze going to the stars. "I want something that can scare people who try to mess with us. Frighten them so they don't fight us. Less bloodshed, less wounds. A cannon shot is frightening, but everyone with a barrel and a bomb bag knows how tricky it is to aim at something that's far enough inland. And a bow doesn't make noise worth anything, so it doesn't work for intimidation unless they see you nocking an arrow."

Link nodded understandingly; then he held out his hand. That wordless request prompted Tetra to take her hand-cannon by the barrel and offer it to Link, albeit with a warning. "Careful how you're holding that." He understood well enough, not even closing his fingers on the grip but instead lying it flat on two hands.

"What I did was, I took a cannon barrel and sorta just... made it tiny," Tetra explained as Link was looking over it. "Problem with that is, firing the King's cannon gets him rocking; if I tried it with something that small, it'd fly out of my hands. So I worked it a little like a crossbow." At that comment, Link briefly gripped the handle, releasing the barrel for a moment only to lie it flat on his hands again. "And of course, bombs don't exactly come that small - nor is it a good idea to make one."

The wind waker beckoned to the sliced-open bomb with his head, a questioning expression on his face.

"Pretty much." Tetra reached forward and tapped a small protrusion on the back of the barrel, away from the handle. "I put a couple flints in to make a spark. One attached here..." Then she tapped the trigger and added, "and one here. Pour in some blast powder, slide in a cannonball, and kaboom."

Link handed the weapon back to her with a raised eyebrow, silently asking for a demonstration. Tetra accepted it and stepped away from the railing, prompting Link to come up next to her as she turned to the target still sitting on the stern. With the swordsman's gaze on her, she closed one hand on the cannon's grip and beckoned to the upper protrusion with the other.

"This bit here shifts the flint," she explained. "When it's raised like this, the flint's out of the way so pulling the trigger won't spark. That way I don't risk firing when I'm loading it up. If I lower it like so..." She moved the protrusion down until it stopped moving, then explained, "it's set to fire."

A nod from Link; then he shot the target a look and turned back to her.

Tetra only shook her head. "No," she insisted, re-lifting the flint. "You guys heard that below decks when you were swordfighting. I don't want to wake everyone up." Then, before Link could reply; "And don't give me that sad Octorok face, either. I can show you sometime when it's light out."

Link opened his mouth indignantly.

"Hey, you know you were going to!"

Link then proceeded to close his mouth sheepishly and turn away.

Draco: Ugh. FFN hates me. I have to jump hoops to save my Docs.

I have seen exactly ONE (serious) Zelda fanfic that featured a silent Link (albeit later shown to be by choice, but still). I was very impressed, and thought I'd give it a try for myself.