Author's Note: This was written as a fill for a prompt of the glee awkward meme on Live Journal (Found Here, towards the bottom of the page: http:/glee-awk-meme . livejournal . c o m/628 . html), originally requested by aalikane.

Aalikane: "tl;dr: Kurt sleepwalks into Blaine's bed while he's staying at the Hudmels. Burt flips."

I noticed no one had filled it, so I hope I did justice! This is my first time doing a glee fill. Hooray! Please enjoy.

Also, long fic is long. That is all.

Silverware and Sleepwalking

A few years ago, Burt Hummel was able to say that the sound of an entire drawer of spoons being spilled onto the kitchen floor at one o'clock in the morning was something he'd become accustomed to. In addition to that, he would find entire boxes of Lucky Charms poured into the sink, the television on the Spanish news channel, and Kurt's favorite feather boa wrapped around the fallen lamp in the living room.

The first time he had found his ten year old son sitting in the kitchen at that ungodly hour of the morning, stirring an empty metal pot with a tube of lipstick and looking like something out of a horror flick, he wasn't quite sure what to think.

"Kurt! What the hell are you doing?" When the boy didn't even flinch, he quickly spun him around and shook him. Kurt mumbled and seemed to come to.

"Mmm… Dad?" he asked sleepily. "What are you doing?"

"I asked you first, kid." He picked him up and set him on his feet, both of them feeling confused and slightly worried.

The doctor diagnosed Kurt with a case of sleepwalking, and pinpointed its cause to the stress and general lack of sleep he had been dealing with since the loss of his mother and the torment that had already begun at school. Burt took special precautions from then on, realizing the danger of the situation was slight as long as he put a lock on the refrigerator for the night in case Kurt managed to slip out of his room without his dad noticing. Eventually, the nightly unconscious rituals just stopped, and they forgot about it entirely.

In high school, Kurt went through a sizable amount of stress each day. However, he had friends who he could talk with and he had built up a wall around him that would only break every once in awhile when he was alone. With Blaine coming into his life, he never felt alone and the stress nearly disappeared. Kurt was finally happy with his life and his relationship with Blaine was excellent. So much so that when he begged Burt to let his boyfriend sleepover some weekends, insisting he'd stay on the couch and that there would be no funny business what-so-ever, Burt couldn't say no. He knew Blaine made his son happy, so he agreed.

"Thanks again for letting me stay over, Mr. Hummel," Blaine said with a grin as he held Kurt warmly on the couch of the Hudson-Hummel house. Kurt was curled up against his boyfriend watching some old black and white romance Burt didn't immediately recognize as he passed through the living room on his way to get something to drink. He smiled back at Blaine.

"No problem, kid. But uh, it's getting late. So when the movie's done-,"

Kurt cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, dad! Shh! This is the best part!"

Blaine smiled apologetically at Burt and nodded, adding quietly,

"Sure thing," before turning around and focusing his attention back on the movie.

Burt walked into the kitchen where Carole was sitting and reading some papers, probably from work, and munching on a snack. Burt gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Those boys are too cute," she said, her mouth half full of bagel and her head gently nodding towards the door to the living room.

Burt chuckled and poured some iced tea into a glass.

"I guess so. I'm hoping Finn won't ask to have Rachel over, though. I don't think I could take a whole night of that."

Carole laughed in agreement. The pair decided to head up to bed, but when Burt opened the door, he quickly shut it and jumped back slightly.

"What's wrong?" Carole asked. Burt was visibly redder in the face.

"They're… making out," he huffed. Burt began to push open the door again to break them up, but Carole grabbed his shoulder and smiled.

"Give them a minute. I'm sure you would have liked some alone time on the couch with your girlfriend as a teenager," she reasoned.

"This isn't about me, it's about my son."

After impatiently waiting a few minutes, Burt coughed loudly and entered the room.

"Alright, boys. It's time to hit the sack." He noticed Kurt's ears, cheeks, and lips were pinker than usual and cleared his throat quietly, shifting his attention to Blaine.

"Now, there are very strict rules here. Blaine, you are not to sleep anywhere else but the couch tonight. And there will be no taking trips to Kurt's room. And Kurt," he looked at his son sternly. "I don't want to hear any 'I went downstairs to get a glass of water' or 'I got hungry for a midnight snack'. You are upstairs bound for the night. Got it?"

Kurt sighed and gave his father a nod.

"Yes dad. I promise I'll stay upstairs and try to control my late night cravings."

Burt's eyes widened slightly, as did Blaine's, before Kurt quickly added with a squeak,

"For snacks! In the kitchen." He blushed. Carole tried to control her giggles and Burt cleared his throat again awkwardly.

"Alright. Come on, kid."

Kurt gave Blaine a quick goodnight kiss and, after making sure he was comfortable enough, followed Burt and Carole up the stairs.

The porcelain-skinned boy went about his nightly facial and pulled off the layers he was wearing (a robe, a pair of designer Ralph Lauren pyjamas, and a white tank top) until he was left in a pair of light blue boxers. He lay down and closed his eyes, thinking about Blaine and hoping to have dreams about him throughout the night.

Unfortunately, Kurt's dreams consisted of terrifying images of being abused by a three-headed football uniform-wearing beast that breathed slushies like a dragon breathes fire. To top it off, he arrived at school wearing last year's fashions (a situation worse to Kurt than arriving naked), was forced to eat in a public subway restroom, and was blackmailed into a marriage with Rachel and Artie at the same time.

But the dreams improved slightly when he found himself wrapped around Blaine, kissing him and holding him and loving him. Blaine was talking to him loudly in the dream, but he couldn't figure out what he was saying. He asked him, but the more he spoke, the more Kurt thought he sounded like his dad.

Kurt's dream seemed to shift when he opened his eyes to see the back of Blaine's head, slightly messy from sleeping, just in front of him and the rest of his body being spooned by Kurt. Coming to his senses, Kurt realized he wasn't dreaming at all; he was actually spooning Blaine on the fold out couch where he'd left his boyfriend last night. He blushed deeply, and looked up to see why Blaine had sounded so close and Burt-like.

There was his dad, standing by the couch, looking fuming angry and screaming.

"I thought I could trust you!"

"Wh-what?" Kurt sat up slightly, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He quickly realized the situation he was in and shook Blaine awake angrily.

"Dad, I seriously didn't do this! I don't even remember waking up! I was dreaming about…" he trailed off, deciding to keep that to himself as Blaine stirred slowly.

"You think I am going to listen to that, Kurt? Look, I get that you want to be…intimate with your boyfriend but you and I had a deal! This is completely inappropriate!"

"Huh?" Blaine yawned tiredly and rolled over, wrapping his arms around Kurt. Kurt froze, feeling something hard brush his thigh. He gave a surprised little 'eep!' and looked at Burt, spluttering,

"Ah- Dad- seriously! This isn't what it looks like!"

He hurriedly hissed into Blaine's ear.

"Blaine, it's time to wake up!"

When the shorter boy continued to sleep with that goofy grin plastered to his face, Kurt growled.

"There's a sale on hair gel!"

Blaine woke up right away, sitting up and whipping his head around.

"What! Sale?" He blinked, looking at Kurt, then to Burt, back to Kurt, down to his lap, and then back to Burt. Burt was literally as red as a tomato.

"Uh… G-good morning, Mr. Hummel," he smiled shakily. "What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Burt repeated in a deep, hushed tone. "I'll tell you what's going on!" He hollered. "You broke the rules! You and Kurt had a rendezvous in the middle of the night and didn't even bother to pretend like it didn't happen! You could have at least had the decency to go back to your separate beds before sunrise!"

Blaine shrunk into the blanket, looking like a puppy dog that had just peed on the carpet and was now being brutally attacked without any knowledge of what he'd done wrong. Kurt jumped up.

"Dad! Believe me! Blaine must've snuck into my room and picked me up in the middle of the night because I seriously don't remember ever leaving!"

"Don't blame this on me! I didn't even wake up once in the night!" He threw himself onto the floor, begging on his knees.

"Mr. Hummel, please don't kill me!"

"Oh I am going to do much worse than that!"

Carole, yawning, walked into the room.

"What is going on?"

"That boy," he said, pointing to Blaine, "and my son- who I trusted- slept together last night!"

"No we didn't!" they chimed in together.

"Well, at least, I really hope we didn't," Kurt said, a look of horror appearing on his face.

"I kind of like to remember when that happens…" Blaine added. After receiving a glare from Burt, he quickly fixed his statement.

"I mean, I would like to remember it if it ever happened. And I would be very safe and gentle and loving. Because Kurt matters. A lot."

Burt's look only softened slightly before he looked back to Carole for her reaction.

"Boys, you knew the rules were very clear. Why would you break them?"

Kurt took a deep breath.

"Seriously, I am going to say it again. I do not have any recollection of leaving my room at any point and I definitely do not remember deciding to spoon Blaine!"

Blaine's eyes lit up.

"You were spooning me?"

The awkward tension stayed silent for a moment. Blaine cleared his throat.

"I am just going to grab my things and leave before Burt brings out his shotgun…"

Carole sighed, walking into the kitchen and asking aloud,

"Why is the cereal poured all over the table? And the spoons drawer is on the floor…"

Suddenly, something clicked in Burt's head and he placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine jumped.

"I'm going! I'm going!"

"No, wait." He sighed. "Boys, go pick up the spoons and cereal. Looks like I'll have to put a lock on the refrigerator again."

Blaine looked confused.

"I'm still lost."

"Kurt was having the three-headed bully monster dream again."

And from then on, Burt may have made it a habit to check on Kurt whenever Blaine stayed over. Just in case.