Disclaimer: The usual. I do not own the show or the characters. And I am writing for entertainment purposes only.
Im not great at summaries. This takes place after SMILE. Things have to be said. Healing begins.
Finding Us
by LorMes or LAM
" Its Too Late. Did I actually say that to him.? Im glad I had my back to him. I dont think I would have wanted him to see my face. Im sorry I said that. And thats easy to say now. Bobbys gone and left the squadroom. I didnt even get a chance to explain. But I dont think I can go back and change it. Not now anyway. Held never understand. Heck, I dont think I do. Maybe I meant it differently. Maybe I meant to say Its too late, in such a way that I wanted him to see that I love being his partner and dont want to make the move up the political ladder. Oh, I dont know how this could be any worse. Im actually glad that I didnt turn around to see his face. I think it would have been screaming to me to explain myself. I wouldnt blame him. Whats happened to us ? I know better. What Bobbys been through over the last few months. His mother, his brother and that son-of-a-bitch Brady. Bobby had so much to deal with and then Brady just stepped in to get him to question his paternity. Then Kevin and now this. I just dont know anymore. Why cant we just get back to where we were. I mean two years ago Garret nearly split the two of us apart and we managed to get through that. But now, it seems to me that weve hit a rut in the road. Too much crap going on that we are being buried so badly before we even get a chance to get out of it. Ive got to try and find a way to explain this to Bobby. Ive got to find a way...Right now, I just dont know.
Back across town, Bobby Goren sat on the floor of his apartment. His knees hiked up to his chest, his arms placed on his knees. His head slightly hung low. It seemed to him that lately, no matter what was going on, the dark cloud that he was under was just following him around like a shadow. Everything that could go wrong...has. His partnership with Alex ...now disintergrating...because of him...is at the forefront.
How the hell did it go so wrong? he thought. There are no words for a situation like this. Hes at wits end.
The only thing left for him to do now...the only sensible thing...was to ask for another partner. He didnt want to, but he didnt want to hold her back. While there on the floor, his cell phone rings. He lifts his head briefly and glances towards it. He knows its Alex. He just didnt have the strength to get up and answer it. Shell have to wait until tomorrow at work. He just sits there on the floor, not crying, just thinking.
Back over to Alex. She too was thinking how she would get to Bobby to explain things. She walked out to her Honda and got in. She threw her jacket in the back seat and started to put her keys in. Then she drew back and took hold of them. Her head hung low as she sat there in her car playing with the keys. She was angry. Not with Bobby, with herself for not being more specific with him. Shes the one that knows him the best and yet in one moment, Everything about who they were had changed. She sat there for a while thinking, Then she decided what she would do. She flipped open her cell phone and called him. No answer. Tears started to well up realizing that he wouldnt answer it. Now her thoughts started to spin. In an instant, she knew what she had to do. She put the keys in the ignition and turned over the engine. Bobby was going to hear her side of this one way or another.
As she approached his apartment, she noticed his car but also noticed that there was only a soft blue glow coming from the living room.That meant he was watching TV or sitting up drinking... She went up to his door and knocked.
" Go away Alex. " he spoke softly.
She knocked again. " Im not leaving Bobby. Ill stay out here all night if I have to. And you know me. I dont say things I dont mean."
" Please Alex. Ive had enough...Okay. Ill see you tomorrow. " he said quietly
" Bobby, Im sorry, I m not leaving. I cant. We have to talk. " she said.
No answer. Maybe he got up and was coming to the door.
" Bobby. Please let me in. You have to let me explain. " she pleaded.
She heard footsteps leading to the front door. The chain lock was released and the door opened.
Standing before her was her partner, Bobby Goren. Dressed in his New York MCS sweat pants and a dark blue T-shirt.
" Explain what ? I already know how you feel. I cant blame you really. I swear Im getting worse. So please leave Alex. Everything will be taken care of by the morning. " he said
" What the hell is that supposed to mean Bobby ? " she asked.
He stood there quiet.
" Ill ask you again partner. What the hell does that mean? "
He walked further on into his apartment and she followed him. She took her coat and hat and boots off and followed him into his living room.
" Come on Alex you know damn well what that means. " he said angrily.
" No I dont. Enlighten me Bobby. And please dont sugar coat it. I want it straight. "
He found himself pacing and finally went right over to her and said
" Its Too Late !!! Okay ? Your comment after they took Leslie away. Its Too Late!!! Thats what this is all about. Im taking a couple of days to think and if I have to, Im going to write out my request for a new partner. "
There, he had said it. She couldnt get mad because she said she didnt want him to sugar coat it.
" Okay Alex, why are you standing there looking as if someone just stole your puppy? " he asked.
She stood there and took in what he had just said to her. If she needed any confirmation about whether or not Bobby had mis-interpreted what she said, well this was it.
" Bobby ? " she said looking at him.
As he turned towards her and looked at her he saw something different. Looking intently at her he saw a tearline coming down her face. He wanted to go to her but he couldnt.
" What Alex...What ? " he asked.
Alex moved over to his big sofa and sat down heavily . She now was sitting with her elbows on her thighs and her face in her hands.
" Well..." he said.
She looked up at him and she could hardly speak. But her eyes spoke volumes to him. He moved over to the sofa and sat down gently at the other end.
" What is it Alex ? " he asked with a calmer tone in his voice.
" Bobby...I am Sooooo Sorry. " she said with big tears in her eyes. " I didnt mean what I said...at least in the way you thought I did. "
What could he do, but sit and listen. He knew his partner and she just didnt cry in front of anyone.
She sat there for a minute before continuing. " Bobby ? Weve been partners for 7 years now, what I meant when I said it was too late, was that I had my chance. "
Bobby didnt want to meet her eyes.
" Please look at me ? " she asked.
He lifted his head and did his best to maintain eye contect.
He stood up. He was letting his hurt get the better of him. " I cant do this Alex. I cant !" he said.
" What ? Face the truth? Because thats what this is Bobby. The truth. I had my chance. Hear me out please. " she said loudly.
He threw his hands up. " Okay. Ill hear you out. Then youll leave ? "he asked
" Okay..." she said " If thats what you want...Ill go. "
She asked him to sit back down and when he did she started to tell her story.
" Bobby, 7 years ago, When they paired you with me, everyone told me that it wouldnt last. They told me that you were crazy...for lack of a better word. But I was determined to try to make it work. You know, about four months in, thats when I wrote the request for a new partner. I was convinced, that just like the others said, you and I werent going to work. So I dropped the letter on Deakins desk. Well, he called me in later that day to ask me to re-consider. I asked him why...and he told me that your career was on the line. He explained about all the partners that you had been through...and that basically...our partnership was your last chance. I asked him, how long ? He asked me to give it another six months. I told him I was only doing it because I wanted to try and make it work for your sake Bobby ...not mine.
It was rocky, those first three months, remember? "
Bobby nodded.
" But something happened. " she said.
" What was that ? " he asked.
She took a deep breath...and finally said " Maggie...Maggie Coulter. "
Bobby was confused. " Why Maggie ? " he asked.
She looked at him. " Bobby, up until that case, I still was not convinced that we could work together. Then here comes this 15 year old girl that endured countless hours of torture at the hands of that sadistic bastard Simon. She totally shut down. She exhibited all of the signs of Stockholm Syndrome. Her parents went out and spent countless amounts of money on the best psychiatrists...but nothing worked. Nothing until we went up there and talked to her. I stepped back after I told her all of the cliche lines after you moved forward and told me that she didnt want to hear all of that. So I backed off. It was my chance to really see you work. I thought Oh No, hes going to do or say something and then well never get her to open up. Turns out I was wrong. I was the one that was helping to keep her shut down. If you hadnt stepped in and worked your psychology like you did, she would never had come to terms with what was done to her. When she reached out to you and hugged you telling you that he had hurt her so bad finally crying and letting go, I couldnt beleive what I saw. You, Bobby Goren, the man that everyone was saying was crazy, reclusive, unpredictable and whatever else they said, They didnt see you and how you dealt with that girl. You came down to her level and spoke to her on her terms. You identified with her.
And the fact that 7 years later , you still keep in touch with her is above and beyond what is required of us.
But Maggie, shes all the better for it, because of you. And when I watched you, I thought, This is what the job is all about. I made up my mind right then and there that I didnt want any part of the brass. Its all a big political kiss ass game ...and I cant be like that. Are you hearing me ? "
He sat back and was left speechless.
" Bobby ? Please know that at one time I questioned your ability and your techniques, and yes at one time there were ambitions to be captain...but I am happy right here...right now...being partnered with you...and I have no plans of leaving. Im so sorry for hurting you. I need to know that you understand now. " she said.
Then she sat back on the sofa and just looked at him.
He looked at her. Brown eyes meeting brown eyes. Silently speaking volumes to each other. He looked over to her and reached out to her. she took his hand, which seemed to fit like a glove around hers.
Alex spoke..." You know, with everything that has been going on lately, we havent had time to just,you know, be like we were. I want that back Bobby. What about you ? " she asked.
He wanted it too. Then he nodded.
" I do. But like you said with everything that has happened, Can we ever be the same ? I dont think so. Maybe we can start to re-build things in leiu of these last few years? I think we can. Alex? Can I ask you something ? "
" Sure Bobby. What is it? " she asked.
" Well, When you were kidnapped by Jo Gage...This might sound silly..."
" Not in the least...please ask away. "
" Well, When you were kidnapped...what was going through your mind...I mean besides getting out of there alive... ? "
" You. " she said. " I was afraid of never being able to see you. I was terrified of leaving you. You dont function well without me you know...I didnt want you to be alone. "
" You know thats why I sat with you when ever I could at the hospital. I wanted you to know that I was there and that I cared. I didnt want you to be alone. " he said.
" If I asked you to come over to me and sit close to me would you? " he asked
" She moved over towards him on the sofa and sat with her back to his chest. It was comforting. Not just for her, but for him too. A while later, He moved a bit and asked her to get up.
" Bobby ? What is it ? " she asked
" Come on, Lets get the heck out of here. Were not on call, and its the weekend. We dont have to be back to work until Monday. Lets take a ride. "
" Are you out of your..." she said.
" Nevermind that, Lets just go for a ride. I know the perfect place. " he said
" Are you sure...where are we going ? " she asked.
" Im not telling you. Just lets go. "
" Bobby ? Its 2 am, Where are you taking me at this ungodly hour? "
" Its a surprise. Okay ? Now get your stuff and lets go. "
He drove them down to a parking garage not far from his place.
" What the heck is this place ? " she asked.
" Ive got something to show you. " he said.
Going down into the garage , he started walking towards this Harley Davidson Chopper. It was as sweet a ride as you could get. Blues and purples. And it was made with the MCS logo on it and everything.
" Oh man Bobby ! " she cried.
" Is this thing yours? " she asked.
" Well, I dont think its yours right ? " he said.
Oh Bobby , this is sweet. When did you get it. ? "
Lewis and I bought it a few years back and weve been restoring it. What do ya think ? Wanna go for a ride ? " he asked.
" You dont have to ask me twice. Wheres the helmet ? " she asked.
He gave her a helmet and while he got on and started it, she got on the back.
" Where we goin? " she asked.
" Youll see. " he said.
About four hours later, the two found themselves in the resort town of Lake George New York, nestled just inside the Adirondack park. Just as they were riding into town, Bobby turned up Beach Rd. and headed straight for the beach. Just as they were getting off the bike, He and Alex were treated to a spectacular sunrise. Then he took a blanket out and the two of them strolled down onto the beach.
He set the blanket down and right there on the beach in Lake George New York, he and his Partner Alex Eames enjoyed the sunrise and the cool autumn air along with the brilliant colors of the peak of the fall season which reflected off of the still waters of Lake George as crystal clear as a mirror. And even though the leaves were falling all around them, the seeds of their partnership were beginning to spring back to life.
The End