Ah, Brooklyn.
Ya got the Amazing Wallcrawler fighting the baddies over in Queens, so it's only fair for the Turtle Titan to find his own turf. And since all of the big league superheroes have got Manhattan as safe as superhumanly possible, and Staten Island hasn't seen a crime since the Stone Age, and even Superman won't go near the Bronx, it looks like this is the best place for me to get crackin'. Of course, I hung up my cape and cowl long ago, since the Silver Sentry's got most of New York covered. But I still prowl around, ready to save the first pizza in distress I come across. For I am Michelangelo: The Terrifying Turtle Titan.
…or something like that.
Running across the rooftops of Graham Avenue, I keep my eyes peeled for any signs of trouble, real or imaginary. This is one of the most crowded shopping avenues in the borough, so a purse snatching happens just about every twenty minutes. Any evildoer stupid enough to show his face tonight is gonna get his. Woe will befall he who dares to attempt to lick the system, because the system bites back after an attempted lick. Ew, bad imagery.
I suddenly bolt to a stop. Whoa. Babe Central, three o'clock. Wearing a short skirt and a button-up blouse under an open leather jacket, it's obvious she just came out of work. Can't help but gawk at her a bit. Long blonde curly hair, big green eyes. She looks like one of them girls from the sci-fi movies who always end up getting captured by the gross-looking monster and being rescued by the Fabio character.
She looks to her right and I can make out a small smile. Peering a bit over the ledge, I can see that she's smiling at some homeless guy sitting on a corner. Going into her pocket, she reaches in and pulls out some change, shoving in the excess dough that threatens to pour out. I can't help but smile when I see her giving the homeless dude her money, starting a conversation with him. Heh. And they say that there aren't any good people in New York anymore.
I'm about to go along on my merry way, when I notice some shifty-looking kid looking at the same girl my Chick Radar picked up on. She's saying goodbye to the homeless guy and is walking straight towards Mr. Suspicious. He makes like he's passing by, then bumps into her. Uh-oh. I know this old trick.
He apologizes, and she does too. Man, why they always gotta go for the nice ones that don't deserve it? If you're gonna rip someone off, rip off someone who's secretly a super villain or something.
She's about to walk away, and puts a hand in her pocket. She stops. Bingo, I think. She ain't just a dumb victim. Realizing that she's just been robbed, she turns around to see the guy running for an alley. "Hey!" I crack my knuckles, ready to follow after the creep and rescue the fair maiden, but she surprises me by darting off after him too. Whoa, didn't think chicks could run in shoes like that.
Deciding to cut them both off, I make like a bandit to the more-or-less deserted alley at the end of Johnson Avenue, where the guy was headed. Ain't nothing there but factories, so I can bring up my mad ninja butt-kicking skills without worrying about scaring off my charge. Of course, hearing her voice bounce off the walls as she chases after the thief, I don't think it'll be easy to scare off someone with a mouth like that. Sheesh.
I get to the end of Johnson and look down at the sidewalk. I see the guy pumping his legs as fast as he can, even though he had to know that he was racing to a dead end. The girl's right behind him, and she finally jumps and tackles him from behind. I flinch and whisper, "Ouch." With all the broken bottles and stuff on the pavement around here, I could bet that that hurt big time.
"What you think," the girl asks while struggling with the guy under her, "I'm just gonna stand there and yell 'help' and wait for Batman to come save me? What, you think I don't have the guts to take you? Gimme that cash, you twerp!" The kid was totally freaked out, so he threw the dollar bills out in front of him. The chick got up, pulling him with her. "Look at you! You're probably not even old enough to be out of high school." She slapped him away, telling him, "Go back home to your momma, kid, and focus on passing algebra instead of robbing random passerby in the streets!" He scrambled away from her and she kicked him in the caboose, helping him get there.
It took a lot to keep me from applauding her. Hot and effective. All she needed was a shell and she'd be my super sleuth soul mate. As she goes to pick up her fallen cash, I notice our dastardly criminal making his way into one of the factories. Oh man, not cool. You never wanna see bad guys run into abandoned factories.
The girl finishes counting her money and turns around to retrace her steps, only to stop when she sees nearly a dozen really mean-looking dudes coming out of one of the buildings. "Heard you're beatin' on my little brother," says one of bigger dudes. "That ain't very nice at all."
I'm about to jump down to the rescue when I see the chick smirk and put her money back in her pocket. "Looks to me like you fellas are aiming to do something not-nice yourselves. Great. Your brother was a pushover." Ack! What the-? If she keeps running off at the mouth, then this was gonna turn into a brawl.
BigMean'NUgly growled at her and went after her. Uh-uh, not cool. He found that out soon enough when he got a kick in the face. And with heels like those… ouch. The girl was like a bullet. Using trash cans, fire escapes, old tires, and whatever else she could get her hands on, she made mince meat out of those suckers in a style that'd impress Jackie Chan. I could almost hear the cool fighting music in the background, and started bebopping to it. Awesome, man.
One of the guys starts coming up behind her while she's busy facing off some dude with a dangerous-looking chain. Looks like this is my cue to enter into the game. I jump to the fire escape directly above the guy and stick to the shadows. Grab a 'chuck and slam it down, meaning to get the guy in the head and lay him down flat.
No dice.
The girl's faster than she looks, and turns around and elbows the guy in the throat. My weapon's already gained momentum, though, and before I could even think about stopping it, it hits her in the back of the head. Oh man, I think as I see her sprawl to the ground. Nice one, Mikey. Way to send the ladies heads over heels.
I thought she was out for the count, but her leg darted up and hit one of the guys in the gut as he tried to lunge at her. She got up to her feet and looked at the three remaining goons. "Whichever one 'a you punks did that, you're goin' down!" With a yell that sounded like the noise the chicks in my video games make when they're going to town on someone, she ran for two of them and got them down with a split kick. Man, it's a human, female version of Raph. The thought almost got a scream out of me, but I remembered that she'll kill me if she even suspects me of being the one that beaned her.
She finally puts the rest of them out of commission and looks around, ready for more. I realize she's breathing hard and that there's blood running down the back of her neck. Putting a hand to the back of her head and feeling the blood, she flinches and staggers a bit. Man, this is even worse than the time I short-circuited Donnie's hydrospace thingamabob.
From out of the shadows runs the kid that started this whole mess. He's charging at her with a plank of wood, and she just manages to catch sight of him before he hits her hard in the stomach with it. I gasp as she's sent flying into a closed dumpster behind her. She tries to get up, but she was wavering enough as it was and just drops.
The kid comes up to her, ready to hit her again. I can hear a string of curses coming from him, and they stop when he feels a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he drops the plank when he gets an eyeful of the amazingness that is Michelangelo. "Ah, ah, ah," I scold him. "I don't think that's the kind of vocabulary you learn in school, young man. 'Course, if ya went to school to begin with, I don't think you'd be sitting there with that black eye."
"B-black eye?"
"Man, there I go again, talkin' before I act." With that, I jab him just hard enough to fulfill my promise, sending him reeling backwards. Watching him run off, I look back down at my new lady friend.
She scraped her knee when she took the fall, and it looks like she hit her head against the dumpster and passed out. Stooping down to her, I go through her pockets and see if there's any kind of ID on her so I can leave her home. Otherwise, it looks like I'll be bringing home yet another pet and asking Master Splinter if I can keep her. I find a card and take it out, and almost drop it when I get a good look at it.
It's got a Foot symbol.
Ack! I let out a squeal and jump away from the girl. A Foot? This girl's a Foot? That explains the major butt-kicking action, but… but… no way! She gave some homeless dude money! And she told the little punk to stay in school! How can anyone nice be in the Foot! Calm down, dude. The Foot aren't likely to walk around with membership cards or anything. Let's see what else this says.
I flip the card over and see her photo. The Foot emblem is at the top, along with some scrawling Japanese words. The name on it reads Delilah Banks. Underneath, it says, "American Assistant to Miss Saki."
…Saki? As in, Oroku Saki? As in, the Shredder? …Miss? As in, Karai? As in, Shredder Junior? You telling me I just rescued one of Karai's underlings from getting her face smashed in? I look down at the unconscious girl again. Aw, but it was such a pretty face….
Okay, Mikey, there are a couple of things you can do. You can just leave the whole mess behind you and forget you even saw her. You can tie her up and blindfold her, and take her back to the lair to Leo and the others and start some Bogart-esque interrogating. Or you can just sit here and wait around for her to wake up so you can try and solve this thing yourself.
'Course, it was obvious which one I'd pick, but it looks like Fate wanted to make sure I'd stick with it. She started stirring a bit, so I looked around for something to restrain her in case she decided to go kung-fu on my butt. I see a broken game console that someone threw away and take the controllers out, tying her arms and legs with the wires. I finish tying the last knot just as she opens her eyes and starts struggling.
"Wha… what…? Who…?"
"Easy there, little lady," I tell her, ducking behind her so she wouldn't see me. Don't know what kind of nasty lies about us turtle boys that Karai's been feeding to her gophers, so I figure it's best to keep out of sight for now. "I ain't gonna hurt you. Just thought I'd ask you some questions."
She tries to peer at me over her shoulder, but I give her my shell. "W… who are you?" She doesn't sound the least bit scared, so I gotta respect her for that. I can only wonder what kinda stuff she's been put through with the Foot that would make this seem like a walk in the park.
"I'm someone who doesn't exactly have fond memories of the Foot," I tell her. "So imagine my surprise when I look for ID on you and find out who you work for." She stops her squirming when I mention the ID. "What do you know about the Foot?"
"I was gonna ask you the same question," I tell her. "Far as I know, they're bad news, all the way. Wrecked my home, keep trying to kill me and my family, and are the evilest evil that ever eviled. Now, what do you know?" She stays quiet for a long time. Finally, she whispers, "That's not my ID you found."
"Huh?" As she repeated herself, I look down at the card in my hand. Dude, that was totally her. I mean, she looks a bit younger in the picture and her hair was cut differently, but other than that…. "Delilah is my sister," she tells me. I can hear the sadness in her voice. "She went on a study abroad trip to Japan two years ago. She never came back."
"Right," I say doubtfully. "And Mayor Bloomberg's my twin." She got quiet again, and I figure that my sarcasm was out of line. I mean, what if she's telling the truth? It's a long time before she speaks again.
"I thought she was dead. That something terrible happened to her. I went to Japan myself and searched around, and rumors came back to me about some dealings with the yakuza. It didn't take me long to figure out that this 'yakuza' was really the Foot Clan. I tried to get answers, but their power is so big in Japan that they got me deported. I kept contact with one of my sister's friends from the study abroad program, and a few months ago, I get that card in the mail. He didn't tell me how he got it, but he sent along a note that told me that this 'Miss Saki' was going to New York City to work on rebuilding the Foot's American operation, and that Delilah was one of the assistants coming with her. He thought that maybe I could use the ID to get into places I shouldn't, since Dee and I look so much like one another. I moved here from Delaware as soon as I could, but the security at the Foot base is too tight for me to want to risk going at it full force. So I've been keeping an ear out for minor jobs from them and the Purple Dragons and any other big criminal organizations in the city, keeping the ID on me to justify my presence and hoping that someone involved would mistake me for Dee so I can get some information out of them. I just came back from some gig at Central Park. That's why I've got the ID. We're fighting on the same side, mister."
I'm just crouching there, taking this all in. I mean, it pans out. The more I look at the picture, the more I realize that the girl in the leather jacket does look a lot older, and the girl on the ID looks about college-aged. Wanting to be sure, I stand and walk around her, looking down at her face. She looks up at me, blinks, then widens her eyes, trying to back away. "You're a… a…."
"Yeah, I'm a turtle," I tell her, deciding that anyone who worked for Karai would've definitely heard of us by now and wouldn't look so scared. "Eek! Ack! I've heard it all before." I kneel in front of her again, watching her sit up and edging away. "Relax. If I freak you out, then you don't know half of the weird stuff goin' down with the Foot and Karai."
"K-Karai?" I nod at her, telling her, "Yeah. 'Miss Saki.' The lady your sister works for. She's a majorly whacked-out ninja chick. Look, I know you must be worried about your sister and everything, but messin' with the Foot is definitely no job for you. I mean, my brothers and I have been training our whole lives, and they still mop the floor with us almost every time we face off." I reach over and start untying her arms. "Come on. Tell me where you're staying and I'll call my bros up to meet us. We've got a tech geek and a strategy geek and a shoot-'em-up geek. If you want to pull your sister out of Karai's clutches, then we're the ones who can help out."
As I free her legs, the girl asks, "What? Why? No… you… why would you… help me? Why not just let me go and let me fight my own battles?" I give her a serious look as I give her my best superhero voice. "In the battle against evil, there are no personal battles." Going back to Mikey Mode, I add, "And like I said, the Foot are the evilest evil that ever eviled. Can't risk a pretty girl like you getting mowed down by scum like that."
I help her up, and she just keeps looking at me oddly. In the dim light, I notice that she looks much younger up close than she did from the rooftops. Oh man… my turtle senses are tingling. And that's not the only thing tingling, Green Lantern. My stomach starts stinging as I fall away from her. Man, I just got played.
Getting kicked in the gut by a high-heel wearing, lying Foot ninja is definitely not something I ever look forward to. "That 'scum' provided me with a family when mine turned its back on me," she says, sounding just as cold as she did when cursing out the punk who stole her cash. "What they may lack in goodness, they make up in strength and honor."
"Pshaw, honor?" I jump to my feet, trying not to keel over after the nauseous feeling of being punted in the belly by the Karai Klone. "Look lady… Delilah—if that's your real name. I might not be an expert on honor, but I know that it ain't lying through your teeth about some sob story of fighting for your family just so you can save your shell. If the Foot had anything to offer you, then you wouldn't have to feed me some fibs about how you're against them."
"You'd do what you can to save yourself if you had been in my position, reptile." Ooh boy, did I pick the wrong distressed damsel to mess with. I take out both of my nunchucks as she reaches into one of her pockets. "If the Foot's so great, then why was the story of them corrupting your sister so believable? How can someone who hunts down young thugs who try to rip her off of a few bucks actually be working for an entire organization that pulls that kinda stuff on a huge scale every day?"
It looks like my words hit her hard for a second. Man, they should. I just don't get it. What's the allure? An easy way out? How can it be easier to skirt justice at every turn than to just abide by a few simple laws that should make everyone happy? I really don't get humans sometimes.
…or is it that they just kinda… fall into it? Splinter always says, "Though we can choose which steps to take, we cannot help the path that Fate has chosen for us." How much of a choice did she actually have in joining the Foot… and how much is she trying to break away?
"Delilah… was it really a lie?" She looks back up at me, tensing up. "What you told me… was some of it really-?" I didn't get the chance to finish. She whipped her hand out of her pocket and threw something on the floor, causing a blinding flash. Stupid ninja tricks. You'd think I'd recognize them, being a ninja and all.
By the time I can see again, I'm alone in the alley. She up and went Splitsville. Bummer. Glancing on the floor, I see that I had dropped her ID card when she kicked me. Picking it up, I look at it thoughtfully. Delilah Banks. American Assistant to Miss Saki. Not a Foot Ninja, but an assistant… for now. Who knows if that's just a cover-up title? Who knows if me or the guys haven't fought her once before, and we couldn't tell because of all of the gear she was wearing?
It's just… weird. The Foot aren't supposed to be people. They aren't supposed to have faces. They ain't supposed to give money to the poor or tell kids to stay in school. They're supposed to be the bad guys. Why couldn't it be as simple as it is in the comics and cartoons?
With a sigh, I head back to the rooftops to go home… Delilah's ID still in my hand.