Why?
(A KakaXKure Story)
'Why?' Kurenai thought as she stared across the room at her secret lover. Kakashi seemed to be having a grand time entertaining the crowd of Shinobis with his little act-pretending to be a simple goof who was always late to everything. She knew why he was usually late, of course, though no one else ever would. Nor would they know that she usually had a clone in her place at the meetings he was late to. That was their little secret.
Kakashi caught Kurenai's eye and she smiled at him. He smiled back and mouthed. 'Soon.' She smiled more. Yes. Soon. Soon he would disengage his clinging fans and they would sneak out of this dull party. Soon he would be all hers again. Soon she would have him naked in her arms. She nodded to him and turned to make her way toward the nearest door. She was already way past the point of being ready for him. She wanted him now. Not soon. Now. She would wait, of course, for this was the way things had to be for their relationship to remain a secret and her shirking duties to meet him to be hidden from the entire village.
She paused as she felt a hand on her arm and turned, suddenly terrified that Kakashi had decided he couldn't wait. 'Was he going to blow everything right there?' she wondered. It wasn't him. Not Kakashi. She hid her horrorfied look quickly and leaned down just a little to help Hinata with her problem. Her dress had caught on something. Kurenai tried to untangle it quickly so she could get outside and so she could be there waiting when Kakashi came for her, but she only made it worse. She tried to calm herself before looking at it more carefully. She was able to undo it this time and she gave Hinata a return smile as the shy Kunoichi beamed at her. "Arigatou." Hinata murmured. Kurenai smiled and made for the door again as Hinata looked around. 'She wouldn't be dancing tonight.' Kurenai figured as she walked toward the door, trying to appear unhurried. 'She would probably faint if someone asked her.' That was her last thought before she was through the door and out into the night.
The cool, autumn air made her shiver and she squeezed her thighs slightly together to control her need. For it was a need now. She needed Kakashi to sweep her off her feet straight into the bed. She looked for Kakashi through a window, unable to keep still as she waited for him. She couldn't wait much longer.
Kakashi sighed a little, glancing around. Kurenai was already gone, waiting for him. Not good. He looked to Shizune, who had come to collect him. Apparently, Tsunade was calling. He couldn't ignore a summons from the Hokage. He grumbled under his breath in frustration. He had expected to be with Kurenai by now. He hoped she would understand. He needed her to understand. She was the most important person in his life and he desperately needed her by his side, even if she wouldn't let him reveal their relationship. He sighed again. He wanted to reveal it, but if he did there would be no more relationship and that wouldn't help at all. He wanted to marry Kurenai. He wanted to have her every morning by his side and every night under him, writhing and moaning as he gave her everything she needed. His cock twitched and he tried to get his mind off of the mental images htat line of thought brought out.
Shizune stopped outside the Godaime's office and knocked, announcing Kakashi. Tsunade looked up from her work. She looked tired, haggard even. Kakashi supposed that had something to do with her age and the fact that she absolutely despised paperwork. "You needed me?" he asked, hoping she didn't. She nodded quickly. "Yes. An emergency mission just came in. I want to put you on it."
Kakashi grimaced, 'Oh no.' he thought. 'This is even worse than I had imagined it would be.' What would he tell Kurenai? Would he have time to tell her anything at all before he left? He asked how long the mission would be, and how long he had until he left and received the mission information. He read over it quickly and blanched "Three days!?" he burst out before he could stop himself. He would only have a brief half hour to gather what he needed. Time enough to give Kurenai only a hasty explanation, but not to help either of them with the problem they both had right then.
Tsunade looked up at him. "Is that a problem, Kakashi?" she asked coldly. Kakashi shook his head weakly. "No, Hokage-Sama." he whispered. "It just surprised me that an emergency call should take a minimum of three days to complete." 'Oh, How was he to explain to Kurenai?' he wondered. Tsunade nodded and dismissed him, telling him to pack what he needed for the assignment. He left, still staring at the evil little piece of paper that had ruined his evening plans, and very possibly his entire relationship with Kurenai.
Kurenai looked up as Kakashi ran over and she smiled, moving to wrap her arms around him. She was fully prepared to drag him to bed by this time. The look on his face and the clothes he wore stopped her short. "Why are you in your uniform, Kakashi?" she questioned softly. Kakashi grimaced more now and handed her the paper. "I have an emergency mission, Kurenai. I'm sorry. I have to leave in five minutes and I won't be back for at least three days." His voice grew quieter and quieter as he spoke. Kurenai's face showed her emotions all too well right now. He hugged her to him tightly apologizing again. "I love you, Kurenai." he murmured in her ear. 'Why did it feel like he was saying good-bye for good?' she wondered to herself as she hugged him back, just as fiercely. All too soon he said "I have to go." and pulled away from her, hating himself every second for the torment he saw on her face. The confusion and pain tore at him, wounded him at his very core.
She didn't get a chance to say good-bye as he suddenly turned and ran off, disappearing into the darkness where his client waited. Her lips moved in silence for a moment before she whispered. "Good-bye, Kakashi. I love you too." as a tear ran down her cheek. Sometime during their emotional good-bye she had lost the urgent wetness between her legs. She wrapped her arms around herself and knelt on the ground where she had been waiting. She had merely thought he was having a harder time than he had thought getting rid of his hangers-on. She hadn't even imagined something like this could happen and on the anniversary of their getting together too. She closed her eyes as more tears stung her cheeks. "Why?" she asked to no one. Because that was who was there. No one. No one to answer. No one to love her. No one to tell her that she was the most wonderful woman in the world. She had dealt with that before. So why was it so painful right now? She didn't know, but she knew that the answers were not going to come tonight. Not in the cold air where he had left her with this scary feeling that he was never coming back.
She got herself together enough to get up and stagger home, finally and dropped into bed, still in her clothes. She didn't have the energy to remove them at the time. She sobbed into her pillow, and wondered how she could have been so stupid. They were ninja. Either one of them could be gone at any time. The village would always come before themselves or each other. She eventually cried herself to sleep, promising herself to make the best out of the time Kakashi was gone. It would be hard, but she'd gone through worse...Right?
The next three days passed slowly for both of them. Kakashi spent most of his time 'patrolling' and he did patrol, but his mind wasn't really on it. He was thinking of Kurenai and the look on her face when he'd left. Kurenai distanced herself from everyone around her and picked at her dress. She would often try to start a conversation in a peppy, cheerful tone but it was so obviously forced that they never went anywhere and she sunk back into her state of being halfway there.
Hinata had noticed and spent a lot of time around Kurenai trying to cheer her up. Kurenai would smile and speak with her some but she never seemed to be there. Not really, anyway. Her mind was always somewhere else. Hinata sighed and sat quietly with Kurenai. At least she could provide company for the older kunoichi.
Kakashi finished up his assignment in the minimum: three days and headed for Konoha at top speed. He didn't stop at night or for bad weather and made it back before dark. He gave his report to Tsunade quickly, clenching his hands in frustration as she held him there asking questions. When he freed himself from her he immediately went to Kurenai.Hinata was still there with her and she blinked when Kakashi swept Kurenai into his arms. Kurenai hugged him fiercely, not even seeming to notice that Hinata was watching. "Gomen, Kurenai." Kakashi murmured, holding her close. It would be a while before either of them were ready to let go. "Please, let's stop keeping this a secret. I need you. I love you. I want you to marry me. I can't stand to watch you be in pain."
Kurenai nodded against Kakashi's chest agreeing with him. Her eyes snapped open when she heard him propose and she blushed seeing the ring he held in front of her face. Hinata was hyperventilating and looked like she was about to faint. Kurenai looked up at Kakashi and kissed him gently. "Yes." she whispered. "I will marry you."