~ Walls ~

"I want to live, I want to give, I want to find another way to live. Another shout, another cry, and the walls come tumbling down ... "

Castle pushed open the bedroom door. "Voila," he said with forced lightness. "Your home away from home for a while."

Beckett made a sound low in her throat. She wasn't in the mood for Castle's jokes. She was angry. And hurt. Frustrated too, with a rather large measure of fear thrown into the mix. Her emotions were a bubbling cauldron threatening to erupt - not a good place to be when dealing with Richard Castle. She had to be at the top of her game to keep up with him and right now she couldn't stand another defeat, especially one at his hands.

"I'll just leave you alone then," he said softly, reading her mood and thankfully knowing now wasn't the time. "If you need anything, holler. Anything at all. If we don't have it, I'll get it."

She turned around suddenly as she realized he was leaving. "Castle."

"What?" He was all attention.

"Thanks." She swallowed. "Thanks for giving me a place to stay."

"No thanks necessary. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have lost your home. I owe you."

Her lips twitched but couldn't quite find a smile. "Well, I just wanted to let you know I appreciate it. I know I sound kind of grumpy and ungrateful - "

"And you have every right." He took two steps closer. "If you want to talk ... "

"No," she said quickly, backing up a fraction. "I just need some time alone, and I want you, however well-intentioned, to stay away from me."

"Why?" He looked like a lost puppy and it tugged at her already torn and bleeding heart.

"You know very well why," she said, struggling to keep her voice from breaking. "I have trouble enough keeping you at arm's length when I'm at my best. I can't deal with this right now. I've got enough to ... I'm already ... I don't want to end up doing something I'll regret."

"Are you so sure you'd regret it?" he asked softly.

She nearly caved. He was so serious, not cocky or teasing like usual when he baited her.

Her voice wavered. "I would if we did now."

He nodded and began to back out of the room. "Fair enough. I'll leave you be, but I'm here if you need anything."

She nodded, following him as he exited the room and shutting the door behind him. Forehead resting against the door, the tears came.

Shades of the previous day, he was in the kitchen making breakfast when she woke. She visited the bathroom first, splashing water on her tear-stained face and tying her hair up in an effort to put the mask back on before facing him.

"Good morning," he said jovially as she sat down at the island. "Coffee?" He pushed a mug, already steaming, towards her.

Beckett cupped it, feeling its warmth and inhaling deeply of the comforting scent.

"Pancakes or bacon? I've made both."

"Whatever is fine. I'm not picky."

As always, he picked up on what she wasn't saying. He laid aside the spatula and leaned down onto his elbows, face to face with her. "Are you okay?"

She looked directly into his eyes - earnest, hopeful, trusting - and swallowed hard. One day she was going to drop her defences and let him in. Fighting him was getting harder and harder and she could feel how, as time went by, he gained the advantage over her. One day the walls were going to come crumbling down.

But not today.

"I'm fine."

~ fin ~