Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.

Dedication: This story is dedicated to Moc a good friend and someone who helped me realize.

Realization

My name is Yamato and writing has never really come easily for me. I've been able to write songs easily but never stories until now. I guess I've just needed the right inspiration, good or bad. Now I've found it.

Day by day I sit in a classroom and I am teased … I'm teased until I almost burst. I'm teased by Friends, by family and by people who don't even know me but I take it. Everywhere I go I feel like everyone hates me even people who didn't know me or have never spoken to me.

Keeping it inside really did have a bad effect on me; I became depressed and began hating myself simply because of what other people said. Then came the bad thoughts of suicide and self-mutilation. My first burst for help was to my friend Sora, when I said I hated it and I wanted it to stop. She talked to me about it and told me not to do anything stupid, then told me of her own situation. The next day I found out she really had been worried about me and I felt like someone actually cared. My dark thoughts faded for awhile and then of course reappeared. I started cutting myself not drawing blood just making marks that would fade. For help I showed the cut to Kari who took my scissors away from me but soon gave them back.

My next quest for help was to Mimi over the phone that told me that people did notice when I wasn't there and that I was the only person my friend Sora could truly talk to and to think of her next time. I felt better, for the moment.

What pushed me was the fight with my best friend, Taichi. This was our worst fight by far. What started the fight was stupid we fought about how I had supposedly changed and how Taichi seemed to think he was so nice and sweat and it got all out of control. We started saying things that we didn't even mean and it really got to me. My first attempt was with scissors but they did nothing I then went to the kitchen and finished the job with a small knife.

The cut was only tiny but I still freaked and ran for a cloth. The whole time my parents sat in the lounge room, not having a clue about my silent, desperate cries. I sat for awhile and the bleeding didn't stop, a false feeling of satisfaction came over me as I sat watching the blood. My wrist was numb but all feeling of emotion seemed to be gone. I felt like an empty shell. Doing it again crossed my mind, making it worse. I was about to draw the blade again, but Taichi came. He saw my wound and tended to it.

"Why did you do it," he asked a look of worry on his face.

"I..I just couldn't take it anymore.. everything that's being said and whats going on is getting to me," I replied trying to hold back tears, " I hate it how everyone seems to have a problem with me for no reason and with out even knowing me."

"Oh… Yama," he signed, "I don't have a problem with you and nether do your friends who truly love you, so don't do anything stupid again."

Later on I felt better and it was strange, because I couldn't believe I had to do this to realize what a fool I had been. Taichi tried to make me promise not to do it again but I couldn't. I realized that I was stupid and I came to one conclusion.

"The blood came and went and I still stood there. I held the knife in my hand. I just can't believe a dick like you made me do it. All of this, just because you had a problem with me."