This is my First Harry Potter Fic so be gentle all!
I am not British and the only slang I know is from what I've heard on my numerous British telly binges (lets be real, British TV is typically better than American) So I'M DOING MY BEST LET ME LIVE.
No one truly loves constructive criticism, but I recognize that it's helpful and in the pursuit of improving my writing, which is always my ultimate goal! So feel free to (BE KIND) point out any flaws or offer advice!
There are a lot of OC's in the story but none of which are super imperative and act more as background characters.
Disclaimer: I am unfortunately not quite the genius of JK Rowling and don't own shit.
ENJOY!
Falling in love is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage, it takes faith. Because no one ever talks about how painful love can be, both physically and psychologically. It's an aching, like the aches from an illness or the tremors of a fever. It's as if the earth decided to crack into halves and suck everything good down the middle. It's like drowning in air and burning in heavenly fire. Love is what humanity has spent eternity trying to put into words, but unfortunately for those poor poet bastards, love is indescribable. Figurative language will never accurately encapsulate the feeling because love makes no god damn sense.
The only thing known about love is that it's a strange human condition that people will do anything and everything to have it. It is a chance encounter with happiness and the belief that love will make life infinitely better. People desire it, they crave it. Except the thing no one talks about is that no matter what, in the end a heart will always be broken. By words or through death, a heart will be broken.
So is it all worth it?
She sure as hell didn't know.
Hermione Granger wasn't sure if she'd ever be in love. Not the romantic kind anyways. People speculated that she and Ron belonged together and for a while, she was caught up in that idea too. How could she not when their relationship was pushed on them by their peers? And admittedly, by themselves.
Ron and Hermione dated for an obnoxiously brief period of time, but it wasn't right. She knew in heart that what they shared wasn't love, at least not the right kind. Don't misunderstand, She adored Ron, but not in the way one should love a partner. It felt wrong. So they did what was for the best and decided to remain friends.
Suffice it to say Hermione was a little upset when they came to the decision. Not because she and Ron didn't work but because love was blossoming all around her, and she was alone.
Love was a lingering side effect from the war and tragedy that ended nearly a year ago. After people went through such devastation as they had, they started to crave hope and happiness again. They valued others in a way they didn't before. War made them realize that they needed to hold on to the things that are good.
So apparently that meant everyone was falling in love, except for her; she hated the bitter taste of jealously.
Jealousy was a feeling she hadn't felt in years. Why would she be jealous? She was confident, intelligent, and she liked who she was. She didn't mind at all if others didn't find her beautiful, she never cared much for looks. Brains over beauty was a much more reasonable trait to have. She wouldn't have been able to help defeat Voldemort with perfectly combed hair and a charming smile. But, she knew she wasn't ugly either. Her face had changed, albeit only slightly, but it had sharpened with time and she no longer looked like a little girl, but a woman.
And she had grown to like her hair despite its often unruliness, sod those who thought of it as a birds nest.
Hermione was smart, brave, compassionate, and dedicated. She had a handful of amazing friends and was famous. She had no reason to be jealous. But that made her ever more frustrated with her jealousy, why did she feel so alone? Everyone had someone special to lean on after the war, they had someone to help the scars heal. She had to deal with her post war struggles on her own. Alone.
For example, Harry and Ginny were at the forefront of love and since Hermione spent most of her time with her two friends, she was constantly surrounded by their awful, but actually wonderful, relationship. Hermione was truly happy for them but it made her wonder if she would ever feel for someone the way they felt for each other. What they had was more than passion, it was fierce dedication and unconditional support. They gave each other reasons to push on after all the terribleness. They fought their inner struggles together.
All Hermione could do was sit in her envious glass box as the world around her became more accepting of love, and who they chose to love.
After all, wasn't it love that defeated Voldemort?
She contemplated her bright future of dying alone as she marched through the stone halls of Hogwarts. Although the war was over and the reign of terror officially ended, not one person came out the other side unaffected. It had taken a long time to grieve and rebuild, including Hogwarts. It was almost a year after the final battle and what was destroyed had been renovated and the school reopened. Hermione's year had been invited to return to school to finish their education at Hogwarts considering the extreme circumstances last May. They would be the first eighth year class.
But despite Hogwarts being rebuilt, many of the students were still very broken, all fighting different kinds of battles. Hermione was curious to learn who came back and who didn't.
The golden trio sauntered into the Great Hall and instinctively walked towards the back end of the Gryffindor table. There were only a few people who arrived before them and they were welcomed by a small, broken applause and a few cheers from the few students. Harry glumly smiled and nodded a thank you in their direction. Ron smirked like mad and Hermione only blushed. She wasn't accustomed to this sort of fame yet. She was used to Hermione Granger, Harry Potter's brainy best friend, not Hermione Granger war heroine.
They sat down together in silence, Harry and Hermione on one side and Ron on the other. They watched as the rest of the eighth years filtered in, she made mental notes of who came back to Hogwarts and knew Harry and Ron were doing the same. Eventually, Harry sighed and glanced passively along the Great Hall.
"It's weird really, to be back." he murmured and leaned his elbows on the table.
Hermione couldn't deny that. After everything, it was hard to be here and act like nothing happened. People died here, people she knew and loved. She cleared her throat and shoved the dour thoughts to the side.
"Well, despite the slight changes from the construction, it's still Hogwarts." Hermione reminded him and pathetically shrugged.
"Is it?" Harry's voice was hazy and monotone. "It feels like the atmosphere of the battle never left."
"I admit it's a bit eerie." Ron, too, put his elbows on the table and shoved his chin in the palm of his hand.
"That's not from Hogwarts though." Hermione shook her head somberly and glanced at all her fellow classmates, "that's the students."
Harry and Ron nodded in silent agreement. Harry's eyes were far away beneath his glasses and Hermione felt her heart clench. Was he having second thoughts? Hermione had pleaded and persuaded Harry to come back to Hogwarts this year. He wasn't going to come back because he had received a job offer as an Auror after the defeat of Voldemort. Hermione felt he should at least finish school before charging full speed ahead. Surely there was more they could all learn! Just because Harry defeated one dark lord didn't mean he was a wizard god.
A group of male students, two fifth year Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw, hollered and broke the Trio's somber thoughts. They cheered when they passed Harry and the two Hufflepuffs patted him roughly on the back.
"Well done mate! Defeating you know who and all!"
"Yeah, Brilliant!"
Harry smiled politely and waved a hand. Thankfully the group didn't stay to chat and walked on. Hermione was a little envious as the boys laughed at each other, remembering how excited and happy she had been to be at Hogwarts with Harry and Ron not so long ago. A cold fluttering sank into her stomach. It was silly but she was nervous about being back, almost like it was her first time at Hogwarts again.
"Looks like the rest of the students arrived." Hermione said blandly to fill in for the silence. Now, students from second through seventh years were strolling in and the Hall was buzzing louder with voices.
"Appears so." Harry sighed and leaned towards his friends. "I'm going to get this fanfare all year, aren't I? It's humbling and all but I just want to forget about everything and move on. I've already had my whole life on display and I'd like to be normal for once."
Hermione exchanged a small glance with Ron. She tilted her head towards Harry, signalling to Ron to say something. He only understood after a few very obvious head tilts.
"Your own fault mate. Next war, let Longbottom be the chosen one." Ron teased but Harry didn't react, at all. So Ron just hunched his shoulders once more, unperturbed by his failure to get a smile out of Harry.
Hermione frowned at her companion's sour demeanor and fought hard not to raise her eyes to the ceiling. She knew life had been hard for both of them. Ron dealing with the loss of Fred and Harry...well, it's pretty self explanatory. But it was kind of a disappointment. She was genuinely looking forwards to coming back to school. Perhaps she wanted something familiar, she wanted what Harry said; to feel normal again. Maybe she was foolish for giving into the nostalgia, maybe it was too much to ask of her friends.
Still, they could do better than a pity party.
She knew things couldn't go back to how things were. Even without the war, life happens.
Looking at her best friends she realized that they were so different than the two boys she stormed in on in the train car all those years ago. Harry's glasses were no longer too big for him as it rested on the bridge of his nose and his face had sharpened into fine features, no longer the boyish curve of a teenager. His eyes were still the same green, but they held onto all the years of struggle and adventure. His black hair was cut shorter than it used to be, making him seem older and more put together. No more wild hair.
Ron too was different. His red hair was still long but no longer reaching the base of his neck and his freckled cheeks were sunken. His jaw was defined and matched his pointy chin. He was so tall and still rather lanky, but he filled out into more of a man than he used to. Her friends were no longer boys, somehow when she wasn't looking, they grew up.
Yes, it was foolish indeed to pretend nothing had changed. Hermione cleared her throat, thinking of how to turn the subject into something more cheerful. She nodded her head at Ron.
"Know what you're going to scarf down first this year Ron?" Food is a good upbeat topic, right?
Ron squinted at her as if she were crazy, "Tarts of course! Come on 'Mione, you know I always have tarts first." His eyebrows wrinkled in disbelief, you'd think she just said something ridiculous like the sky turned green.
"Actually," A friendly, familiar voice interrupted as Ginny plopped down next to her brother and across from Harry. "You didn't eat tarts your sixth year, you had pudding."
Harry instantly snapped out of his pensiveness and gazed at Ginny. The two smiled at each other sweetly and the darkness in Harry's eyes eased. Ron turned towards his little sister.
"Oh and remember that do you? And do you keep track of all my eating habits? Something to tell off to Mum?" Ron sneered. Ginny only grinned at him, a grin only for a sibling.
"No but it's hard to forget when you ranted and raved about that pudding for the next bloody four months! I don't think I'll ever forget that in your sixth year at Hogwarts, you had the best pudding of your entire life, never to be matched!" She rolled her eyes, "I swear, on my finals it's the only thing I could remember learning that year."
Ron tried to glare but it was halfhearted since he was fighting the urge to laugh. He spun back to Harry and Hermione. "Well it was very good." He muttered.
Hermione smiled, grateful that Ginny was here. She always did a better job at brightening the mood than her, Ginny was endlessly funny and striking conversationalist. Besides, Ginny was the only reason Hermione persuaded Harry to come back to Hogwarts. At least now they could graduate together. Hermione still wished Harry was back because he wanted finish school and learn as much as he could before being an Auror, but she would take what she could get.
There was a sudden disgruntled gasp from Ron who was gawking over Harry's shoulder. The three followed Ron's stare.
"What the fuck? What the actual shitting fuck? I can't believe McGonagall is letting that sick fuck back into the school! Do we really have to still sit in class with that bloody lunatic?" Ron exclaimed in astonishment. Hermione immediately locked eyes on the tall, slender platinum man. The infamous Slytherin prince himself strolled through the Great Hall with his pointed nose still stuck in the air.
Draco Malfoy.
Hermione felt her nose scrunch and Harry grimaced with equal distaste.
"Is this really happening? Or am I hallucinating?" Ron rubbed his eyes as if to clear them.
Malfoy sat down at the corner end of the Slytherin table by himself, almost directly across from were they sat. Hermione watched Harry's face as he contemplated him. Oddly, Hermione couldn't find any hate in Harry's eyes like she used to.
Harry hummed and tilted his head to the side, "Well, I guess he did turn on Voldemort in the end, as did his Mother."
"That doesn't make up for everything he did. One change of heart doesn't erase his past, he was still a death eater." Ron argued. Harry turned back around, putting his back to the Slytherin.
Hermione raised her eyebrows, although she agreed with him, she was surprised he said that instead of something like 'he's a sodding bastard that should get tossed on his arse in Azkaban.' Or something roughly along those lines.
"Since when did you get all moral and wise?" She teased Ron.
He slide a glance at her and smiled sheepishly, "It's a side affect from my ravenous hunger." Their eyes connected for only a moment before he turned away, a small blush against his cheeks. It was still a bit awkward between them but Hermione knew they only needed time.
Ron's smile vanished as he returned to glaring at Malfoy. "But seriously, why is here? Malfoy is as slimy as he's ever been and I say bullshit if anyone says he's changed. His father had always been a filthy liar and he's no different. If you ask me, they only switched sides just to protect their own asses."
"There are many others who would agree with you Ron. The Malfoys' don't strike me to be on a losing team." Harry admitted.
"Exactly."
"He's always been a wanker that's true, but I trust McGonagall." Ginny said confidently. "She wouldn't have let him come back if she thought he was a danger to the students. She isn't one to take risks."
She made a good point. But then that begs the question, was Malfoy a danger?
He lied to protect them during the war. None of them knew why he did it but he did and the Malfoys' did turn on Voldemort in the end. But Ron was right, that doesn't mean everything that he's ever done over the years is justified. All the names, the bullying, the snobbery. The fact that he let death eaters into the school and the fact that he contributed to Dumbledore's death.
Not to mention all the things he did that she wasn't aware of, but if he was a death eater there were endless possible wrongdoings. Also, Hermione couldn't help but recall that he was there that night and did nothing.
She swallowed hard as her memory flashed to Bellatrix on top of her, torturing her. That evil bitch carved that vile word into her skin. She reached her hand to the scar and pulled her sleeve down further. It hurt her to look at it. It still visibly claimed the word Mudblood down her forearm and she unfortunately didn't think it would ever go away. Not fully.
"Remember that we trusted Dumbledore too. We thought he could protect us all." Harry pointed out, not needing to add the, 'and look what happened' implication.
That was very true, Dumbledore's death came at a shock to them. They thought he'd always be there to keep them safe.
"Dumbledore always wanted to see the good in people. Besides he always had other plans and agendas coming to fruition. McGonagall? She see's it and tells it how it is. Any sign of trouble and I'm sure she will handle it swiftly." Ginny reminded him.
She was right too, Dumbledore had his secrets and played risky strategic games. McGonagall was different.
Hermione turned her head around to Draco again. He was now joined and seated between Blaise Zabini and shockingly, Theodore Nott. Evidently, some of those whose parents were death eaters weren't coming back and she didn't blame them. Their parents were no doubt in Azkaban, hiding, or dead. It's even possible McGonagall wouldn't let them come back due to their allegiance in the war and the danger they represented to the other students.
Theodore Nott's presence was interesting considering his Father was a well known death eater and a malicious one at that.
"Then what does McGonagall see in him, if not trouble?" Hermione asked as she scrutinized him. Malfoy was gazing down at his hands, seemingly bored of the happenings around him.
"A self centered, spoiled, good for nothing and absolute prick if I had to guess." Ron spat bitterly.
Hermione's eyes flickered down the Slytherin table and she noticed something unusual. None of them laughed or smiled. A heavy sadness closed around her heart, especially for the young ones. They were only children, they didn't deserve to feel this way.
"Look at Slytherin House, they're hardly speaking to each other." She commented sadly. Her friends looked along the table.
"Well I don't blame them. I'd feel uncomfortable too if my house had recently been associated with the darkest wizard of our time." Ginny admitted bluntly.
"Or if my parent had been locked up in Azkaban." Ron rolled his eyes.
"Not every Slytherin was a death eater Ron." Hermione reminded him quietly. It was hard not to jump to those conclusions, especially when the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry had existed long before her time.
"Just about bloody all." He huffed.
Once more, her eyes were dragged back to Malfoy but this time, he was already staring at her. His alarmingly cold, grey eyes narrowed as Zabini spoke to him. His jaw visibly clenched and his brows furrowed when they made eye contact. He didn't look away, almost as if he was challenging her to do so first. If he was, she lost gladly. She quickly whirled around to her friends, feeling uncomfortable that he caught her looking.
"Oh look! It's Neville and Luna!" Ginny grinned and waved at the pair walking towards them. All of their faces lit up as they exchanged pleasantries with their friends.
"Sorry we took so long, Luna made us take an alternative route." Neville smiled bashfully as they plopped next to Ron. Luna joined them despite the blue tie around her neck. She appeared lost in thought but Hermione knew she was still aware of her surroundings.
"The corridors are full of negative energies." Luna explained easily as she sat with her back stick-straight and her hands folded in her lap.
"Well at least it wasn't the Nargles." Ron threw a grin at Harry.
"Perhaps they're on vacation." Harry grinned back.
Luna glanced at them seriously. "Oh but I wouldn't have been upset if that were the case! The Nargles have been rather sweet and helpful as of late."
Ginny chuckled and sighed, "I can't keep up with these Nargle mood swings. One minute they're the worst and the next they're sweet." They all chuckled except for Luna, who softly smiled at her friend's amusement. She was an odd duck but a good one.
"Look at us! All together again! It is really nice to see you lot." Neville beamed. "I feel like it's been ages since we've been in one place."
"Indeed." Luna nodded, "Last time we were all together was at the battle of Hogwarts." All their smiles waned as a cold silence bit them. Hermione knew Luna meant no ill intent, but she could have kicked her. Things were just starting to lighten up.
"Indeed." Harry said. Hermione glanced at Ginny in panic but she was already clearing her throat to change the subject.
"Speaking of Hogwarts, does anyone know who the new dark arts professor is?"
"What a masterful segue." Harry muttered and Ginny threw him a warning look. Harry smiled devilishly, unafraid of her warning.
They glumly shook their heads. "Haven't really thought about all the new professors stepping in." Neville shrugged.
"I do." Luna said. "Actually, he's a friend of my Fathers. Artemis Cornwood. He's a very talented wizard but I dare say he's kind of odd. He's a very nice man but he seems so very aloof." Luna toyed with the ends of her wispy blonde hair.
Harry raised his eyebrows. "You find him aloof?" He asked, doing his best not to smirk.
"Very aloof. He seems so lost inside his head that I can never get him to focus on a conversation." She leaned in a bit and lowered her voice, "he's a kind of strange in that way, but I like him very much."
They all blinked at Luna, trying not to giggle at the irony.
"Funny that you should notice such interesting qualities of this man." Harry said, not bothering to hide a smile now.
Luna tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brows, "why is that funny?"
Before anyone could respond, the hall doors tore open and in flocked the wave of first years. The group was fairly small. Parents most likely didn't trust that Hogwarts was safe as of yet, especially since the final battle took place at this very school.
Hermione grinned at their little, amazed faces as they ogled at the Great Hall. The floating candles and the star speckled ceiling, the massive tables overflowing with students in black robes and colored ties. The giant windows behind the professors table looked out onto the darkened, magnificent land around Hogwarts. Their innocence was inspiring and igniting a new energy in the Hall. It was as if none of them had been affected by the war, at least not directly. Their young faces were full of hope and excitement and Hermione felt instant pride for her friends, and for herself.
The world was still intact and the future generations would be alright. All because of their efforts, this is what they fought for. The first years whispered to each other and she could hear their excitement as they pointed and passed harry.
"Look! That's Harry Potter!"
"Isn't he the guy who defeated you know who?"
"Mum said he's brilliant!"
"I can't wait to tell my brother that I go to school with Harry Potter!"
"That's Hermione Granger next to him! I hear she's the smartest witch in the world."
Hermione bit her lip and glanced at harry, who was also smiling gleefully. She knew he was thinking the same thing, the world for them is how it should be. Wonderful, new, and full of hope.
They were so cute!
The young students piled up at the front of the Great Hall like a drunken amoeba. They stood before the four long house tables and waited awkwardly for Headmistress McGonagall. By the time she finally stood up and scanned across the first years with her usual, stoic expression most of the first years were fidgeting. In McGonagall's hand was a stool and the sorting hat. She laid the sorting hat down on the stool and everyone waited and watched in silence. Hermione smiled, excited and a little saddened to hear the Sorting Hat's song for the last time.
The Hat abruptly jumped to life and twitched. The brim opened up into a large mouth and it started to sing it's song. Hermione closed her eyes and hummed along quietly. Once the Hat finished it's song and the roar of applause stilled, McGonagall stepped forwards holding a large scroll.
"When I call your name, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted..."
Then the sorting commenced. The first three students were sorted into Hufflepuff, then there were two Ravenclaws, a Gryffindor and another Ravenclaw.
"Nancy Arlington."
A petite, black haired and freckled little girl walked up to the stool. She was shaking and slowly lowered herself onto the seat. She gripped the sides of the stool until her knuckles turned white. She seemed as if she was going to puke. McGonagall placed the hat on her head and she flinched at it's touch.
The hat took its time with this girl. It mumbled a few words that Hermione couldn't hear. She remembered how long the hat took to sort Harry too. It happened occasionally when a person could fit into multiple houses and there was choice to be made. Harry even mentioned to Hermione that the hat actually gave him the choice and Harry asked not to be placed in Slytherin.
Hermione never felt that she had a choice. It told her Gryffindor and she never thought differently despite that many thought she would have thrived in Ravenclaw.
Finally, with a booming voice the Hat called out triumphantly, "SLYTHERIN."
An abnormal awkward silence ascended across the room. An icy stillness froze the students to their seats and everyone held their breaths. Even Hermione stilled and looked around the Hall wildly. Typically, the house hollered and cheered when a new first year was sorted and the other three houses politely clapped. Typically, there was excitement.
But it was deathly silent, because Nancy Arlington was the first to be sorted into Slytherin.
Nancy hesitantly peered over at the Slytherin table and swallowed hard. She stood up shakily and looked at the ground as she marched over to the table and plopped down. She stared down at her shoes and her arms folded into her chest.
"She looks like she's going to barf." Neville whispered sadly.
"I would too if I had to sit with snakes." Ron mumbled. Ginny threw her brother an angry look, no doubt feeling sympathy for the little girl. After a terrible minute of silence, someone started to clap and the rest of the room followed awkwardly.
Poor thing.
Thankfully, the rest of the ceremony went by without anymore hiccups. Although there was no excitement from the Slytherins' and those sorted into it looked as if they would rather be swallowed by a dragon. Hermione thought in dreadful fear that one blonde boy was about to cry in front of the entire school. After all the students were sorted, McGonagall cleared her throat and a hush quivered across the Great Hall.
"Before we feast this evening, I would like to share a few words." She paused and smoothed her non-wrinkled, green robes. "I know that because of the events of last year, it may be strange for some of you to be back at Hogwarts. I know the war has unleashed a lot of demons that can't fade quite so easily as the physical wounds have done. Therefore, I would like to offer to any that should need it, someone to talk to. There will be a new staff counselor set up in the hospital wing. She has worked at St Mungos for many years until she accepted to be apart of our staff this year. If we could all welcome Miss Lavinia Starch."
Lavinia Starch stood up and waved a hand. She was a surprisingly young woman, only a few years older than Hermione. Her brown hair was pulled back in a neat bun and not a single hair dared to stand out of place. Everything about her appeared sharp and clean. Except she had a lovely, warm smile. Students clapped politely until she sat back down.
McGonagall continued, "And while we are on the subject of introductions, we can welcome the new array of professors..." She went on to introduce the four new professors.
"...and finally, the defense against the dark arts teacher, Professor Artemis Cornwood." The man sitting at the end of the table half stood up, awkwardly half hunched over the table and raised a bashful hand to wave. He was a middle aged man, tall and thin like a stickbug. He had dark crazy hair that stood out in odd directions and had darkened circle spectacles.
Hermione smiled at Luna who was waving back to Professor Cornwood.
McGonagall waited until the applause died down once more. Another silence shimmered across the hall as her hat tipped backwards and she looked up at the ceiling. There was a long pause and she folded her hands in front of her.
When she looked back to the students there was a determined gleam in her eyes.
"Hogwarts may never be the same as it once was, but change is inevitable and is often necessary. It is time that we all continue on with our lives and march onwards. Voldemort is dead." An uncomfortable tension filled the room with his name. Hermione noticed many students visibly flinch. "We mustn't let him control our lives even from death. We must make this a new world, a new Hogwarts. One full with a bright future."
Hermione smiled at her encouraging words and turned around to look at Harry, who was smiling too.
McGonagall rose her hands up in a welcoming gesture. "So without further ado, I welcome you all to a new and prosperous school year."
All the students clapped and roared happily, both from the rousing speech and the promise of a feast. Suddenly, a large amount of wonderful food materialized on beautiful silver platters. It's been seven years but it she was always awed by the piles of food appearing from air. It helped too that the food was very delicious! Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ron reaching for the tarts and laughed.
It's nice to know that not everything has to change.
"She screamed so loudly that my fucking neighbors came pounding at my door. All different neighbors mind you, even from below my apartment. I told them all to fuck off so I could get my fuck on."
Draco wrapped his fingers around his goblet and stared at the lavishing drink, "Your impropriety has no limits, does it?" His lips nearly curled into a smirk, laughing at the ridiculousness of the man next to him. Nott had a tendency to be bold and blunt, but Draco knew it was all for show. Nott wanted a reaction, he wanted to get on people's nerves.
"It's all apart of my charm." Nott grinned proudly and winked.
Draco had hardly eaten, presumably from his nerves. He hated it and would never admit it aloud, but he was nervous to be back at Hogwarts. He knew what people were going to say to him and about him, he knew what they would think and how much they would hate him. He told himself he didn't care and maybe he didn't, but he was nervous nonetheless. Thank Merlin that he had a few allies still around him, even if that ally was a twat such as Nott.
"Nope, don't believe a single word of it." Zabini scoffed and took a bite of meat pie. Zabini was leaning one elbow on the table casually and stretched his legs out beneath them. He had tugged on his tie so it hung loosely around his neck and he wasn't even wearing his black robes. Zabini was particular about his appearance and apparently this was a 'look'. At least he seemed comfortable. In fact, he was about the only Slytherin who did seem comfortable at the house table.
Draco wasn't surprised, not much bothered Blaise, ever.
"It happened alright." Nott assured with another cheeky grin. "Was so good I made the chit cry."
"Are you sure she was crying because it was the best fuck of her life? Or was it because she realized she was in bed with you and the mediocrely endowed?" Draco took a sip of his drink calmly. Nott glanced sideways at him.
"Aw, jealous Malfoy? I bet you haven't had a nice shag in ages since you've been locked up at Mummy's." Nott smirked. "Is that why you've been such a moody bastard?"
"Your memory must be going, he's always been a moody bastard." Blaise muttered and took another bite of pie.
"You could say it's apart of my charm." Draco mocked. Then he leaned back and contemplated Nott's observation and had to admit that he had spent most of his time at the Manor over the year. He shrugged, "but I suppose it's true, I've had a lot business to attend to."
"What sort of Business, if you don't mind indulging my curiosity." Blaise asked innocently enough. Zabini was looking down at his food as he balanced his fork on his fingertips.
Draco narrowed his eyes. Zabini was good at digging his large nose into other people's business. Partly because he liked hearing the drama he wasn't involved in, but Draco often wondered how innocent it really was. It seemed more like he was stocking up on ammunition should Draco ever turn on him. It's likely Zabini had trust issues, but then again Draco couldn't blame him. Trusting was a scarce virtue nowadays.
"I do mind actually." Malfoy refused steadily. Zabini met his eyes for a moment. His dark brown eyes didn't betray his thoughts and Draco couldn't read his face.
"Ha, it's to do with his Father then." Nott concluded and glanced at Zabini. Blaise lifted one eyebrow, surprised Nott had the guts to bring up the elder Malfoy. Draco felt his blood turn to ice. Anger and shame fired through him but he managed to show no visible reaction.
He knew Nott was just goading him, but that was dangerous territory when it came to his Father.
"Do shut up Theo. If we get on the subjects of fathers, I'll have to ask about your dickhead dad and we all know how much you like to talk about him" Draco snapped coldly.
Theo's eyes flashed with quick anger. Like Draco, Theo had mixed feelings about his father, mostly anger and disdain. Nott opened his mouth to respond but must of thought better of it and snapped it shut. He said nothing and turned towards what was left of his meal. They sat in silence for a while after, not uncomfortably, just with nothing to say.
Theo was right in that he had been locked up at the Manor for too long. There had a lot of business dealing with Draco's Father. Lucius had received an Azkaban sentence and would remain there for a long time. To be honest, Lucius Malfoy was lucky not to have received life, or even the death sentence. There were death eaters who did less and got such punishments. But politics were always a Malfoy's game, and a game they could easily win.
However, the trial and affairs after the trial ended up at Draco's feet to deal with. He and his Mother had been royally poked and prodded by the ministry and even had a trace put on them both after having the Manor mauled over for the connections to Voldemort.
Draco couldn't manage to feel a single ounce of sympathy for his dear old Dad. His idiot Father got them in this mess, seemed appropriate that he was the one to suffer for it. So with Lucius in Azkaban and until he was released, the Malfoy estate and money was Draco's to manage. His mother agreed he was old enough and it was to be his one day anyways. But he realized now, he didn't really want it.
Maybe it was the change of heart or maybe because his name had been dragged through mud, but he hated the Manor. Why stay at a place with so many cruel memories?
"Zabini you need to get your own place as soon as possible." Nott finally broke the silence between them. "Move out of your Mum's and be a damn adult already."
"It is tempting." He admitted. "I guess I would have already done so by now if it weren't for the war." Zabini pushed a hand through his black, neatly styled hair.
"The independence is great." Nott said honestly, then he smirked mischievously. "And by independence, I mean the ladies you can finally take home and let loose with are great. Don't need to hold on to virginity forever mate."
Zabini slowly glanced at Nott, an amused smile gracing his lips. "What makes you think I'm a virgin?" He asked.
Nott raised his eyebrows and he sat up straighter. "Cause you've never mentioned it before." He leaned in, now fully intrigued by the conversation. "What are you on about that you aren't a virgin?"
Draco remained indifferent and toyed with the empty goblet in his hand.
"Isn't it the mark of a gentlemen to be discreet?"
"Sod being a gentlemen, spill it Zabini."
Zabini thought about it, smiling to himself. He eventually shrugged, "I guess I'm not one to shag and brag."
"Why not? Spoilsport." He glanced at Draco,"Malfoy, agree with me here."
Draco only stared at his goblet. "No."
"Oh come off it, I've heard you boasting on and on before too. Bragging is part of the fun." Nott exclaimed and shook his head at his friends as if he were disappointed. He leaned in closer and pointed at them, "For example, this bird I was with the other night. She had the nicest pair of ti—"
"Er, excuse me? Mr. Malfoy?" A small voice interrupted Theo. The three Slytherins turned around to a short, blonde girl. She was a young Hufflepuff with a strange scar down the side of her face. Draco could tell she was nervous and a little frightened. It was amazing how quickly he recognized fear nowadays.
The little girl's cheeks were burning red, most likely from overhearing their conversation. Malfoy fought back the desire to smile at her embarrassment. Nott really did had that effect on people.
The feast went on happily. The somber conversation had faded and it felt like how it used to be, how it should have been. They all laughed and talked about the summer and the future.
As the feast died down and the first years were shown to their dormitories, the rest of the students either followed or stayed to chat in the Great Hall. Ron, Harry, and Ginny were in a debate over Quidditch while Neville and Luna were quietly in their own conversation. Hermione watched the latter speak in hushed voices with each other. She wondered if they held a torch since apparently they spent a lot of time together over the past year and have become very close. Hermione thought they'd be a strange couple, but with Luna she guessed it was always strange. In the best way possible of course.
"Hermione."
Hermione snapped away from her pensive thoughts and turned towards Harry.
"Are you alright?" He asked, his eyebrows crooked in concern. "You've been quiet."
"I'm fine." She smiled sweetly at him and brushed the hair out of her face."Just thinking about how odd it'll be to be in class tomorrow."
Harry nodded and sighed, "It is strange, isn't it? It feels like classes, professors, and Hogwarts was eons ago. I'm not really prepared to be a student again."
"Honestly Harry I don't know if I am either."
"You? No way. That's like saying the sun isn't prepared to rise in the morning." He chuckled and pushed his glasses up his nose.
Hermione chuckled too. "Very amusing but I'm serious." She looked up towards the professors table, all of which had retired to their own rooms. "All I know is that I used to love this. Learning and busying myself in books and papers. But it feels like that me was so, so long ago. What if I'm not that girl anymore? I had to lose so much of myself in the war, what if I don't remember how to be me? What if I lost that version of me?"
Harry contemplated her softly, a sloppy half-frown twisted his lips. "None of that person is gone Hermione. Perhaps suppressed but not gone. Yes, we are different then we used to be but in the end you're still you. Just like I'm still me and I'm going to loathe all those books and papers."
She laughed and he smiled triumphantly. Then he said, "I don't think we truly lost any of ourselves. Maybe we're less innocent than we once were and maybe the feelings of war still linger within us. But I'm happy you talked me into coming back."
"Really? I thought I'd be having to twist your arm every step of the way."
"I think I need to be here." Harry admitted. "We never got much of a normal childhood and I think it could be nice to have a year that's at the very least, somewhat normal. In the sense that I'm just a student who has classes and friends and I play Quidditch and kiss my girlfriend. I think it will help me move on, root me back to thinking about who I want to be without Voldemort no longer breathing down my neck and at the back of my mind. I can finally be free of all that and have a year that's just, me. Without him."
Hermione tilted her head and gently wrapped her fingers around his hand comfortingly. "Anyone ever tell you how wise you've become Harry?"
He squeezed her hand once before pulling away and grinning. "Become? Are you saying I wasn't wise before?"
"Dear heavens no!" Hermione laughed and teased, "your wisdom needed time to ferment like a good wine."
As Harry laughed, Hermione felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see a small, Hufflepuff third year standing before her. She had blonde hair in lovely pigtail braids and her school uniform was pristine and nicely put together. The yellow tie tucked neatly under a blazer and there were no wrinkles in her robe. She also had a strange scar running down the side of her face.
Hermione noticed everyone else at the table stopped talking and paid attention to the girl, who seemed a bit nervous to talk to her.
"Excuse me Miss Granger, but professor McGonagall would like to see you in the Headmistress office.
"Right now?"
She nodded shyly. Hermione looked at her friends questionably and they were as dumbfounded as she.
"Well then." Hermione said and stood up, "Better not keep her waiting."
"I guess we'll see you later then yeah?" Harry asked.
"I'll see you tonight so you can fill me in the latest McGonagall gossip." Ginny winked.
"Of course." Hermione smiled and waved goodbye to the group. She heard their conversations resuming as she left and it made her want to turn back around and stay with them.
She walked out of the massive doors and made her way towards the Headmistress office. It was odd thinking of it as her office now instead of Dumbledore's.
As Hermione passed other students, she realized that they were watching her. She would smile at them and they would bashfully smile back. After a while, it was becoming a bit uncomfortable. Everyone knew who she was. She was used to attention but not quite like this. The younger students looked at her like she was surreal, like she was a great powerful hero.
When she reached the office, she was surprised to find it extremely familiar. It was eerily like how Dumbledore had it, with only a few exceptions. Maybe it was McGongall's way to pay homage to the old headmaster, or maybe she just missed an old friend.
Speaking of, Dumbledore's portrait hung on a nearby wall. "Good Evening Miss Granger." He said.
Hermione grinned and waved at the portrait. "Good evening Professor."
McGongall was sitting at the desk and calmly writing on a piece of parchment. Her hat was next to her on the desk and her brown, graying hair was pulled into a tight bun. She must have known Hermione was there but she didn't take immediate reaction to her. She continued to write.
"Professor? You asked to see me?" Hermione took a few steps forwards. McGongall stopped writing and looked up at her, she slowly put down her quill.
"I did Miss Granger. There is something we must discuss." She explained and gestured to the chair in front of the desk. She took off her glasses and folded her hands together as she waited patiently. Hermione hesitantly sat down at the edge of the chair, not sure what this was about.
"First off I must apologize." McGongall began. "For what I am about to ask of you is very late in coming and so informal. We would have asked months ago but considering the circumstances I decided it would be best to speak to you in person and explain first."
"What is it professor?"
McGonagall paused. "Miss Granger, Hermione, I would be honored if you accepted the responsibility of being Head Girl."
What? Hermione opened her mouth in shock, her eyebrows raising high on her forehead as the words rattled around her brain. Head girl? A smile slowly emerged on her lips.
"Oh. Well yes, yes I would be extremely honored Professor!" She exclaimed. Her shoulders relaxed and she tilted her chin up in pride. McGonagall smiled with a brilliant twinkle in her eye.
"Excellent. I was afraid you would hesitate considering the past events of last May." She said.
"Actually, the additional responsibilities will serve as a nice distraction. I find staying busy is a good remedy for moving on."
"Indeed." McGonagall's cheery attitude faded and her eyes became serious. She glanced down at her desk before back to Hermione."But last May is not the only reason I wished to speak with you before you accepted this position. I would also like to talk to you about Head Boy before you fully agree."
Hermione furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head. "What do you mean." She felt her spine stiffen and she dug her fingers into her skirt. She had a strange feeling about this.
"Well, I'll just be right out with it. I was hoping Head Boy would be Draco Malfoy." McGonagall said very nonchalantly, as if she were commented about the weather. Hermione said nothing for a moment and instead held an extremely unflattering face. Her mouth hung open looking for words and her eyebrows furrowed practically below the bridge of her nose.
"What?!" Hermione finally choked out. She fidgeted on the edge of her seat and made awful gawking noises. Did she just say Malfoy? As in the Draco Malfoy!? "But Malfoy...he, well he..."
"I am aware of what he did and didn't do. I am also aware of his reasoning for doing and not doing what he did."
Hermione blinked.
"But with his wrongdoings aside, he is an excellent choice for Head Boy. He has always been top of the class besides you and he had been a perfect before so I know he can handle the responsibility. Despite his other shortcomings, he is quite a bright and dedicated student.
"But he's a bully!" She burst out childishly, "and he breaks rules!"
McGongall seemed non pulsed at her reaction, obviously expecting this. "Aside from his sixth year, I would wager you have broken more rules than he."
That's probably not...well maybe it's a little true. Hermione snapped her mouth closed and unconsciously folded her arms against her chest. She felt panic in her stomach as she understood what this all meant. She would have to work closely with him! Her childhood bully!
"Professor, forgive me but this is...bold. Malfoy isn't very popular these days despite my own personal feelings towards him. Think of how the other students will react. Having to listen to him? Bossing them around? They'd be outraged."
"Which is exactly why I would like him to be head boy." She explained coolly. Hermione's lips thinned, not understanding. This was like rewarding bad behavior. He did all these terrible things and he still gets to move ahead in the world? That wasn't fair! She worked hard her whole life to be Head Girl and Draco sodding Malfoy gets the position thrown at him.
"I want the school to see him in such a position because he is both a Slytherin and a former death eater. Look around you Miss Granger. Look at the Slytherins. You saw it yourself at the sorting ceremony. There is so much hatred among the students, more than ever." She paused and looked down at the desk. "Are you aware of what happened last year? The students were forced to torture other students and terrible things happened here. The houses are divided by anger and loathing. And I will not ask those students to forget what they've been through, but I can not run a successful, engaging school if the students hate each other."
Hermione unconsciously tilted her head higher in the air. She said nothing.
"I am hoping that Malfoy will add a little balance, give the Slytherin students something to be proud of, to feel less ostracized. I am hoping that the students will see that Hogwarts is ready to move past the war. And perhaps Mr. Malfoy deserves a chance to change our minds about him, to prove himself." McGongall glanced at the portrait of the old headmaster ."Dumbledore believed that everyone deserved redemption."
Hermione swallowed hard. "I see your good intentions Professor but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea, I mean Head Boy?"
"I am not so sure myself." She admitted. "But it is something I am willing to try. Mr. Malfoy wouldn't be having that many more responsibilities than a perfect and with you as Head Girl, I am quite comfortable that you will keep an eye on him should he cause trouble. Besides, if he has alternative motives, it'll be easier for us to notice them when he's in the spotlight, as to speak."
She made a good point. It may be best to watch him closely. Still, Draco Malfoy? She frowned and folded her hands in her lap. "I don't know if I'm the person for that job. He and I have an unfavorable history."
"I'm counting on that Miss Granger." Her eyes softened and she tilted her head down. "I only ask this of you because I know you are one of the few witches capable of doing this. He's intelligent, proud, and conflicted. I think you're one of the few that can match him, that can handle him."
Handle him? She makes it sound as if Hermione was watching an untrained dog. He was so much more awful than that, at least dogs didn't have the cognition to insult her every chance it got. Hermione didn't think that Malfoy was still a follower of Voldemort, nor was he planning another heinous act against the school, but she still hated him. He had always been so cruel, especially to her. They used to be only names thrown at her, but once he became a death eater she realized he must have really believed the crap about blood and muggles.
"Do you really think he's changed Professor?" Her voice barely above a whisper as she closed her eyes. McGongall sighed and rubbed her tired eyes.
"Maybe, maybe not. But I do know that he accepted the invitation to come back, and he is first and foremost a survivalist Miss Granger. He is back at Hogwarts because I allowed it solely on second chance and he knows it. I do not believe he will do anything to ruin that chance" she fattened her parchment paper against her desk. "So I would like him to prove it, prove that he deserves this faith I have given him." She gazed at Hermione proudly, "And in a small possibility he does ruin that faith, you will be there."
The more Hermione thought about it, the more it made sense in a strange way, but could she do it? Could she handle working together with Malfoy and be civil and not want to punch him in the throat every three seconds?
"It Doesn't mean you have to like him, just endure his company." She reminded."I trust you Hermione."
Hermione felt warmed and empowered by her trust. McGongall genuinely meant it. "I...I guess I could do it."
"Excellent." She smiled. "You both will be in charge of the perfects and their duties as well representing the entire student body. You are welcome to plan events, of course consulting with me first. Plus there are a few areas of the castle that I ask the Head Boy and Girl patrol instead of the perfects."
Hermione nodded solemnly, still trying to wrap her head around the idea of working with Malfoy.
"Oh and you both will be moved to special dormitories reserved for the Head Boy and Head Girl. It is in closer proximity with all four houses as well as my office."
Hermione's heart sank a little. She wouldn't be in the Gryffindor tower? That was her home for so long she couldn't image not living there, her last year too. Still, she couldn't let something so silly as that ruin the chance she's always dreamed of. To be fair, Malfoy has already ruined that dream so might as well just roll with the punches.
McGonagall noticed her reprieve and sighed."Hermione, I wouldn't have even considered this if it weren't you as Head Girl. I am confident in you and your abilities" she explained. "Besides, he might not even accept the position of Head Boy."
Hermione not so secretly hoped that he wouldn't.
He stared at the older woman with a blank expression, what did she just say? He sat back in his chair with his hands resting flat on both his legs. He feigned disinterest, a habit he's picked up around his time with the death eaters. Emotions were dangerous to show.
"I'm sorry Professor, did I hear you correctly? Did you say head boy?" He asked coolly.
McGonagall nodded her head, "Yes Mr. Malfoy, that is what I said. You are second in your class, have been since your first year, and you're a talented wizard. Besides, I'm aware of how well you did with your perfect duties. Therefore there is no need to worry about your ability to lead and do your duty."
"You are also aware of my past." Draco reminded her dryly. He had to admit, this came as a huge shock. He didn't think he was in McGongall's good graces. Hell he didn't think he was in anyone's good graces anymore. Despite his families last minute change in allegiance, the Malfoy name was still under heavy animosity, especially with his Father locked away in Azkaban.
Draco didn't think he'd ever be back to Hogwarts but miraculously he was.
He wanted to finish his schooling and to put on an appearance so to speak. In all honesty, he did it for his Mother rather than himself. It was more important to her that some part of their reputation was salvaged and it may look better to the world since Draco was accepted back at Hogwarts. Although, Draco knew it was bullshit to pretend there was nothing for the Malofy's to be ashamed of. He knew damned well there was.
His time at Hogwarts before was vastly different than now. People used to stare at him for such different reasons. They saw a handsome, well-bred, charming and wealthy boy. Now all they saw was an ex-death eater, a Voldemort lover, and it was so plainly written on his arm. It was the wrong attention and he wanted to disappear into the floor, he wanted them all to fuck off.
Head Boy?
"I am painfully aware of it Mr. Malfoy," Draco almost winced at her sharp tone, "that is why you will be perfect for this position."
Draco's lips thinned into a frown, "I don't exactly understand."
McGonagall sighed,"Consider it strategy. There is heavy tension between the students. There has always been competition from the houses and Slytherins have always had a somewhat negative...stigma, but because of the war it's become worse. I fear it may even get violent if we do not quell the tension."
Violent? She was deathly serious too, she always was.
"With you, a well known figure from the war as Head Boy, I hope it shows that Hogwarts does not discriminate or judge for others past mistakes. I hope that the students will see this and follow suit. Or at least learn that that is expected of them. I also wish to mend the reputation of Slytherins." She paused and glanced over her spectacles. "I believe that it is time this world rids itself of stereotypes and hatred, don't you agree?"
She was testing him, the sly bird. He raised one eyebrow. "Did you admit to using both my name and my reputation for your own agenda?" He asked, curious rather than offended, using him was very Slytherin move of her, yet it was bold to be so upfront and tell him.
Nope, still such a Gryffindor.
"It is not using your name if you agree to it yourself. It appeared to me that you wanted a second chance so this is how I will offer one to you."
"Well this isn't exactly what I had in mind. I figured it would be for the best if I were to lay low."
She looked him hard in the eye, challenging him. "And yet, isn't that what everyone expects you to do? To roll over and be ashamed? Hiding makes you more guilty, it makes them right."
He frowned and felt her words with a kick in his stomach. His jaw tightened realizing she was correct, it was pathetic to hide like a mouse in a hole. But maybe he deserved the shame and guilt after everything he did.
Yes, he definitely deserved it. But he was too proud to accept that.
"I am not suggesting that this will be easy, in fact I am certain it will be very difficult. But it is an opportunity to prove yourself to the world." McGonagall explained.
"I don't need to prove myself." Draco said quickly. He didn't mean to snap but he couldn't help it.
"Don't you?" She asked, her back was straight like a solider's and her hands were folded so tightly her knuckles were almost white. It occurred to Draco that this was a woman on a mission.
Draco bit down on his words and let the silence fill the room. It used to matter to him what people thought, because truthfully most people minded him. He was popular. In large part he was popular because some people were afraid of him and his name, but he enjoyed that popularity. The respect when he walked in a room was empowering. He loved it.
Now, he had to no longer care what people thought of him because what they thought would most likely be right.
He's made so many mistakes, so many foolish decisions. He knew it was too late for him to prove himself. The world, he's learned, makes up its mind quickly and it was decided that he was not a good person.
"If you accept to being Head Boy and succeed at it, it could show the other students that Slytherins are not the evil everyone believes." She peered over her spectacles, "nor is Draco Malfoy the man everyone thinks he is."
Draco wondered If McGonagall had gained the ability to read minds. "And what If I were that man? That their assumptions were true?"
She contemplated him carefully."Then you would have been in a jail cell in Azkaban instead of attending Hogwarts."
His eyes darkened and he looked down at his arm. Underneath his sleeve was the remaining dark mark. It had faded slightly since the death of Voldemort, but it was still there and very visible. Azkaban, there are some who said he should be locked away with his Father and he wouldn't blame them. They didn't even know of all the things he had done.
"Considering the circumstances, I shall give you time to think about the offer." McGongall declared.
Draco snapped his head up."No need, I will accept."
"Oh?"
He shrugged and crossed his legs, folding his hands together in his lap."Why not? I guess it'll be amusing to push the perfects around."
"Indeed." She said blandly, recognizing he was teasing, mostly. "If you are sure then—"
"I am." Draco affirmed.
"Excellent." She nodded. "You will be in charge of overseeing the perfects and their duties as well representing the entire student body. There are a few areas of the castle that I ask the Head Boy and Girl to patrol instead of the perfects because it can be dangerous. Additionally, you will be getting your own separate dormitory and not be living the Slytherin dungeons."
He nodded his head once in understanding. Right Head girl, he had forgotten about her. He wondered who it could be. There were only a handful of students that Draco could fathom being asked from his year. He hoped it was no one that made him want to tear out his hair, but he knew that was very unlikely. He had a feeling it was sure to be an annoying bitch.
"Speaking of Head Girl, may I ask who it is?"
McGonagall didn't flinch as she stared him coldly in the eye.
"Hermione Granger."
Tis all for the moment. First chapters always hard cause things aren't kicking into gear yet.
Leave a review and let me know what you think! Thanks all 3