This is a little...big side project I've been working on in parallel with my other story. It takes on a main event, and has many endings. Some good, some bad, some really bad. Expect Age Difference, BDSM, Torture, and possibly even Guro in some of them, ( I'll label them as bad endings). Until then, enjoy the first one
If one knew Senju Tsunade, they would gasp at the sight that would behold them if they entered the doors of the Hokage's office. In the Godaime's hand was not a sake cup or even a stamp going at a hundred miles an hour. It was reports, being carefully scrutinized by the Senju princess, and she didn't like what she saw.
This particular report was of the shinobi birthrate, babies born between shinobi parents. In the last two years there had been four...FOUR! She also had reports on the dynamics of the shinobi academy. In the last 4 years, the percentage of shinobi parentage candidates had gone down from 33% to 16% with civilian candidates filling the vacant spots. Honestly how the hell were they supposed to bolster their numbers with such a dismal growth? More importantly, what the hell was causing it?
She had been cranking her brain over it for the past couple hours and knew she needed a break. Looking at the clock on the wall, she knew Shizune was with her VIP patient right now going through rehabilitation. She decided to walk to the hospital and check up on him. Setting down the reports, she locked up the office and headed out of the tower.
Tsunade walked among the bustle of the village. The crowds buying various items from the vendors, the kids running past playing ninja, the group of kunoichis gabbing at a local restaurant
"He's such a pig!" she heard from the group. She stopped to listen.
"He's tried asking me out 5 times in the last two weeks, knowing full well that I don't have the time for a relationship. What's worse is the only reason he asked me out is because he got tired of being knocked out every time Minami rejected him."
"Seriously! That's as bad as Subaru. I thought he'd never stop pining for me, and then he goes and starts dating a civilian."
"Really? What a loser"
She listened for a good 5 minutes as the group rambled on like schoolgirls, yet they were all in their twenties. The look in Tsunade's eyes was that of contemplation and a grim understanding. The Kunoichi of this village were making theirselves unattainable with overinflated egos, absurd expectations, and as much as she hated to admit it, too much feminism. Worse yet, it seemed to accelerate three years ago according to the reports...when she took office.
With a somber look on her face she continued on. Every so often she'd see a kunoichi slug a male counterpart for saying something perverted, or staring at the wrong parts at the wrong time. Little by little her mood went south, until she ran across something that tipped the scale.
"For the last time, No! I'm not going on a date with you!" she heard a kunoichi shout near a fence line. Tsunade looked over to see an angry kunoichi and a downtrodden shinobi.
"Honestly, is that all you men think about? Most likely trying to get me to sleep with you!" the irate female ranted on.
"Why not?", the kunoichi heard from behind her.
"What the...Hokage-sama!" she shouted when she saw the leader of the village behind her.
"Why not? In the end, that's all dating and marriage are, are mating rituals. So why not go on a date?", Tsunade pressed on.
" Wha...Because it's perverted", the Kunoichi answered like it was the dumbest question ever.
"Perverted...having sex is perverted. Sex is human nature! There's nothing perverted about dating or sex or anything to do with it!", she cried out.
" W-what? But you yourself shun every advance from a man and look where you got Hokage-sama!", the kunoichi defended.
Started when I came into office. The words played through her head.
" I got a horrible position with too much paperwork, no husband, no kids, and no time to correct the biggest mistake of my life! Do not emulate me!", she yelled out while shaking the poor girl.
"B..but he's n..not mmmy type Hokage-sama", the literally shaken kunoichi blurted between shakes.
Everything stopped.
"...type...He's not your. ...type. What exactly is your TYPE?", the less than completely lucid Hokage asked in a less than normal tone.
"Umm...sensitive...emotional...sophisticated...talkative?", she asked unsurely.
Tsunade looked at her wideeyed, a twitch in her right eye. " You...you just defined a woman".
"R..really?", the girl stuttered out. She dropped to the ground suddenly as the Hokage let go and started to stumble away, mumbling about how her female ninja were all turning into chaste lesbians.
"Wh...what was that all about?", the Kunoichi asked, confused as to what happened. Before she could wonder about it further she felt herself being hoisted up and slung over her male counterparts shoulder.
"What do you think you're doing?", she demanded.
" Taking you on a date", he answered simply. She started struggling.
" I said no!", she yelled.
" You also said you want to be an old chaste lesbian with no children, and like hell am I letting that happen!" he retorted back.
" Hmpf!", she pouted. She did not say that.
Tsunade walked glumly the rest of the way to the hospital, her own words reverberating through her head. No Husband. No Kids. No time. She had a lover long ago, and when he died, instead of trying to find another after a suitable period of grief, she had wasted that time grieving for a man that was dead and gone. Even when he was alive, she had always been too busy worrying about her career and other people to have children.
"No, I'm not going to let this generation make the same mistake I did. They've made themselves unattainable, I have to crush that idea to dust", the wizened woman thought in her head, a determined look on her face. But how? These thoughts plagued her as she walked into the rehabilitation ward.
She looked up to see twenty blondes moving around clumsily. It would have been hilarious was it not for the reason they were.
" Shizune, how is this helping Naruto?", she asked the girl helping the original move around.
Shizune looked up along with Naruto. " If he can practice the Rasenshuriken with them, why not help with motor skills", she reasoned quite convincingly.
"Why didn't I think of that?", Tsunade whined her shoulders sagging. She looked to Naruto after a while.
"How are you doing gaki?", she asked the teen in a caring voice.
" It's a pain, but I'm getting better at moving around, especially thanks to Nee-chan. Plus, I haven't seen a certain pink haired bitch in days so things are really looking up", he said seriously.
That certain pink haired bitch was the reason he had to relearn how to walk and move around. After another failed attempt at getting the Uchiha, Sakura took her anger out on Naruto. If the punch didn't do it, the boulder his head cracked on from the impact, or the fact she left him like that until someone found him and took him to the hospital did. She would love to thank whoever did save him, but the nurses couldn't remember who it was.
When Tsunade found out what had happened, she was pissed to say the least. Sakura was stripped of her apprenticeship and position at the hospital, and was lucky she got out of that office with her life. She didn't see it that way and went to the hospital to make her displeasure known to Naruto.
That was when the first sign that Naruto's personality had somewhat...changed... from the injury.
*flashbackuru*
Naruto woke up slowly, his vision blurry and disoriented. All he could see was white. As his vision started to clear, he could see symmetrical lines in the white. White tiles. He put two and two together and figured he was in the hospital, staring up at the white tiled ceiling.
He turned his head to see cards on the table next to the bed along with a vase full of flowers. They...couldn't be for him could they? How long was he out? The last thing he remembered was Sakura screaming at him about not getting Sasuke again and then punching him. He felt anger rise up in him. After all he had sacrificed to try and bring him back...THIS.
It was then that he heard the door fly open, "NARUTO! I lost my position because of YOU! I never figured you could be so low as to use your relationship with the Hokage to get your way!", the pink banshee screamed while marching toward him.
Any attempt she was going to make to harm him stalled when a kunai sliced deeply into her cheek. She stared at his outstretched hand and blood red eyes.
"GET OUT", he venomously growled out. She stood there dumbfounded until an IV stand found purchase in his throwing arm, " I SAID GET OUT YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!", he roared as he, or it, threw the IV stand with such force that it bent around her chakra enhanced guard. "Fine you DEMON!", she roared as bedpans and gurney guards followed her out.
He was about to throw the vase of flowers in rage, but controlled himself and put it down just before the Kyuubi's chakra receded and his movements became fumbles.
Another person entered and he tensed up, thinking it might be Sakura again. He turned as best he could to see another girl.
" Wow Naruto, you sure went all out didn't you? I'm surprised you didn't throw the vase at her", Ino said, amazed at the anger she felt even outside the room.
Naruto shook his head," Why waste such beautiful things by throwing them at such an ugly person. Thanks for the flowers by the way", he said in a tired voice.
" Don't mention it, really. It's not a good time when I have to send a get well assortment...who gave you this?", she asked, pulling the kunai that had been buried in the wall to the tether ring. "More importantly, how did you manage to aim well enough to slash her cheek when it has this big bow on it?", she asked incredulously while marveling at the craftsmanship of the weapon.
Naruto gave a bitter smile, " Don't tell anyone, but I wasn't aiming for her cheek", he stated ominously.
Ino put her hands on her hips, " And you were talking about wasting such good things on ugly people".
Naruto shrugged, " It could be washed off".
"I wasn't talking about the kunai. Would she really have been worth a murder charge?", she asked in a disapproving voice.
" Considering prior events, I'm sure it could have been turned into a self defense charge", he said like he thought it through already.
" Dark, Naruto. Very dark. I think, that's the first time I've ever heard you talk like that", she stated looking at him with concern. He decided to get off the subject.
" Well some say that your sins shine bright in the presence of an angel", he said with a smirk.
That completely floored Ino. Did Naruto, the clueless wonder just flirt with her...and convincingly to the point of her blushing?
She pointed at him, " Okay, who the hell are you and what did you do to Naruto?", she asked accusingly. He seemed to take it in stride.
"I'll tell you that when I figure it out and you should be asking the pink floorboard the last one", he said with an amused smile, " Until then could you tell me why my arms and legs aren't working like they should?".
Ino, regaining her thoughts, looked down at his chart. " Well...there was brain trauma caused, so it's possible it could have impaired your motor skills...it could also account for your...change in personality. Hmmm, what's your favorite food?".
"Ramen".
"Your favorite color?".
"Orange...for now".
" What do you want to be?".
" Hokage...possibly". He stated unsurely.
Ino looked baffled. Naruto was there, just one that seemed to be with doubt...or...thought? Reflection? She couldn't wrap her head around it. "Umm...I'll go tell the Hokage your awake", she stated unsurely.
" Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. How am I supposed to do that? Ino! Catheter me!", he stated with determination.
"Wh-wh..B-baka! I'm not putting a catheter in you! Use the bedpan!", she yelled with a furious blush as she stormed out the door.
"But I threw it out there!", he yelled just before his bedpan was thrown back at him, hitting him in the chest.
" Oww! I'm not into that whole pain is pleasure thing!...At least I think I'm not! Do it again but this time speak ill of me too!"
"Hentai!", he heard her yell from down the hall. He smiled as he laid down. This new way of life could be fun
*flashbakuru end*
When Tsunade heard the story from a simmering Ino, she couldn't help but snort. As much as she was worried about long term effects, the jolt to the head seemed to do him more good than bad. Or more bad than good, depending on what side of the gender spectrum you were on she supposed.
For Ino, it was the later as Tsunade made her put a catheter in him. The grumbling from her apprentice was amusing, as was the blush on her face afterwards that would put the Hyuuga heiress to shame.
" Good Naruto! I think by the end of the day, you should have most of your motor functions down" Shizune cheered at a slowly walking Naruto.
" Oh boy! Then, I'll learn the afflebet, and how to ride my bike, and how to count to a hundred million bajillion, and then, and then, how to tie my shoes!", he said humorously, causing the two women to laugh.
Once the joke passed Tsunade pondered on her previous predicament. Looking at the blonde in front of her, she decided to get a different perspective. Yes, hell had frozen over. She was going to ask advice from Naruto. But from what she's seen of the boy's altered personality, it might provide a sharper view than the idea would have bore before.
" Shizune, I'd like to speak with Naruto for a little bit. You can clock off and notify the next shift to reorganize the rehab center.", the blonde Hokage stated.
She got out of cleaning the place? Joy! " Hai Tsunade-sama!", she cheered as she bolted out the door, Naruto was caught up in the dust as he fell backwards into a chair Tsunade had pushed forward in preemption.
"One second Tsunade-chan", he said as he popped his clones. After regaining their memories, he got up with as much grace as a newly minted chunin. Not bad, but not what he was at.
"Honestly gaki, what the hell happened to the old nicknames? And why couldn't the new ones be any more respectable?", she groaned. It was one of the things that she had noticed after the injury. While she wasn't fond of Baa-chan, she couldn't say Tsunade-chan was any more comfortable but for different reasons.
" Respect is for the old Tsunade-chan"
" I'm 40 yea *slap*", she slapped her hand over her mouth and pierced him with a glare.
" Older than me?" he finished for her, " I don't believe that for one second".
" And why's that?", she asked frustratingly.
" Seeing is believing, Tsunade-chan"
" You'll never see it"
" Then I'll never believe it" he quipped. " And until you start acting your age young lady, you get stuck with Tsunade-chan", he said with his hands on his hips, mocking a stern parent.
She just shook her head, " Anyways!", she exclaimed, clearing the conversation. " I wanted your advice on something".
Naruto's eyebrows shot up faster than a window blind. " You...want my advice?", he asked incredulously, pointing at himself in the process. Tsunade nodded.
" It must be something very important to need a second opinion". She nodded a little eagerly.
" Something that could even hold the very future of the village in its hand". She nodded even more eagerly.
" I will help you to the best of my ability and together we will find a solution to this problem!", he declared, causing her to nod furiously.
" So what are we waiting for? Let's crack this nut wide open fifty ryou please". She gave a determined nod and reach for her wallet before pausing.
A second later the younger blond's cheek was being stretched out by the older one. " Nice try gaki!", she said with a smug smile.
" Hwas worf a shogh", he mumbled out. Batting the hand away from his cheek he regained himself, " Alright, it will be free this time, just cause it's for the lovely woman that keeps this village from blowing itself up".
She shook off the comment, " Alright. Say there's a woman that, if together with a certain man, would make the most powerful shinobi the village has ever seen. But the woman isn't even interested in getting to know the man or any men for that matter. What would you do?", she finished her example.
His expression took on one of deep concentration, staring past her as he thought of it. Then his eyes closed as he sighed, and looked back at her, " Force her", he stated with conviction.
" ...Force her...THAT'S your solution?", she asked angrily.
" Basically yes. To be more in depth, make them get married, and let the man take care of either mentally or physically convincing her with your backing of course". He elaborated.
Tsunade looked at him as her brows furrowed, " That sounds very close to rape", she retorted tensely.
" Well, you have to take into consideration that you're talking about pairing up ninja, which are alot more adaptable than civilians. It's not an enemy nin capturing and violently raping a kunoichi, where pain, death, and torture are the likely outcomes. It's more like a forced marriage and consummation, where the only outcome could be either love, kids and old age, or hating eachother's guts for the rest of their lives. Grr. I wish I had an example" he tried to explain.
Naruto perked up as the raven haired nurse that Shizune switched with walked into the room mumbling about cleaning up after her lazy superior. Before she knew it, her shoulders were being held fast.
"Nurse-chan, the Hokage has declared that we are now married.", he stated, looking seriously. Her expression was priceless, like someone had just told her, her house was on fire.
She looked pleadingly at the Hokage, but, playing along, she nodded in confirmation. " B-b-but I d-don't even know y-you!", she squeaked out.
Naruto nodded, " Indeed. But you will in a few days. For now though, it is our honeymoon, and we must consummate our marriage", he said seriously, gently pushing her up against the wall. Now she was a scared and nervous wreck. " I-but-I-I-but-no-I"
" Don't worry nurse-chan, once we get to my apartment, I'll do all the work. The first thing I'll do after I lay you on the bed, is bind your hands above your head with a silk scarf, making you feel helpless", he described as he pulled her arms above her slender wrists with one hand. "N-nn-no", she squeaked out in fear.
" Oh yes, and then once I've taken in your beautiful form I will!...", she tensed up, looking ready to scream. Her eyes shot open as a small, gentle kiss was laid on her lips, a look of..surprise?.. was on her face.
"Kiss you, and seeing the look of surprise in your face, I go in for another", he softly spoke before another gentle kiss was given.
"I...but I uh" she was cut off as another kiss enveloped her lips, this one lasting much longer that the last two. What used to be just fear was now mixed with what looked like nervousness.
" And after I have conquered your lips, I'll start conquering the rest of your beautiful body, starting with your neck", he said in a husky tone right into her ear.
"My...my neck *hahh*", she gasped in shallowly as he started kissing down the length of her neck, her nerves firing warning signals causing her to squirm. Then he started on the other side, slowly and lightly kissing his way down.
" This...this is too soon", she mumbled out. Naruto looked at her with a gentle ruthlessness and connected his lips with hers once again. Her eyes shot open in surprise when a tongue entered her mouth and started teasing hers. Her eyes glazed as she started to reciprocate.
She was too caught up in the kiss to realize, one by one, the buttons on the front of her uniform were being unbuttoned.
Naruto pulled away from the kiss, leaving her looking at him with a glazed expression.
Tsunade sat with a gawk and a blush. Where the hell did he learn how to do this? If he learned this from Jiraiya, what the hell had she been missing for so many decades? More importantly, it gave her the initial layout of what might be, the most controversial and village shaking plan of her term. Shaking her head back to reality, she spoke up.
"Thank you Naruto! You've made your point.", she exclaimed, interrupting him. He stopped kissing her bare shoulders. "Ah, alright. Thank you very much for helping me Nurse-chan.", he said giving a gentle smile.
"E-eh? So...were not married?", she asked with a confused look. Naruto grinned.
" You sound a little disappointed Nurse-chan. Do you want to be?".
She jumped at the thought, " Eh No, not so suddenly! Eh? Aaah!", she cried out as she felt the breeze on her chest when she waved her arms. She quickly put her uniform back on.
Tsunade walked right past them while talking to herself conspiratorially. They both watched as she left.
"What was that all about?", Naruto asked nobody in particular.
" I don't know...ah! You stole my first kiss!", she pointed at him with an angry pout.
Naruto just smiled, " You'll make someone a very happy husband, and I am lucky enough I got to steal your first kiss before him", he teased.
She crossed her arms, still pouting, " Baka".