Takes place after "Jessie's Girl"
Writing at The Core while not dating Jesse at the same time proved to be more challenging than Ellie had expected. He was particularly harsh after she embarrassed him and The Core itself during her interview with Caitlin Ryan; therefore, he only gave her futile assignments that degraded her talent. She knew that it was his way of maintaining some sort of authority over her, and though annoying, she figured it would only last until his ego recovered. In the meantime, she was getting damn sick of writing last page horoscopes and updating the calendar of events. Finally, a break came and she was given the opportunity to cover a local gallery's opening night, featuring a university alum. She wasn't familiar with the artist, but she was thrilled about doing something interactive and creative again.
Arriving back at the house, Ellie dumped off her books in her room and immediately jumped into the shower to get ready for her interview. When she came downstairs in her robe to brew some coffee, she grabbed herself something quick to eat while she reapplied her make up. As she walked towards the kitchen, she found Paige reorganizing her little alcove full of designer clothing. She had become incessant about organizing and steaming the clothes, making sure that they were perfect and protected at all times. While Ellie respected Paige's dedication to her new job, she also knew Paige was obsessing over her work just so she wouldn't obsess over missing Alex and questioning whether she'd made the right choice to break up with her.
She needs to get out, Ellie thought, walking past Paige and heading to the refrigerator. "You have plans tonight?" Ellie asked, assuming that she probably didn't. Paige was so immersed in whatever she was doing that she didn't even hear her. "Paige," she addressed her louder.
"Hmm?" She asked, looking up and startled to see that someone else was in the room with her. She straightened her hair between her fingertips, wondering how long Ellie had been standing there trying to get her attention.
"Do you have plans tonight?" She asked again.
"Oh, um. No, not really," she answered. "I have a big day at work tomorrow so I'll probably go to bed early. You?"
"I have to interview an artist at this gallery opening, but I'll be around later if you want to watch a movie or something." Thinking for a minute, Ellie continued, "Unless you want to go with me. I have an extra invitation and it won't last all night. I mean…I don't know if that's your thing, but–"
"Sure, hon," Paige answered somewhat enthusiastically. "I wouldn't mind doing something different. When do you have to leave?"
"In about an hour," Ellie cringed, knowing Paige was notorious for taking an ungodly amount of time to get ready to go anywhere.
"Whoa," she replied, immediately stopping her hands from fidgeting with the dresses in the closet and turning around to face Ellie. "That is not nearly enough time, but I'll see what I can do," she said hurrying up the stairs to get ready as fast as possible. She didn't know who would be at the opening, or what she should wear to such a thing, but she at least knew she couldn't show up in anything casual.
An hour and twenty minutes later, Ellie was finally out the door with Paige in tow. Ellie wore snug, dark jeans and a black, princess-seamed jacket over a grey knit top. She felt confident in how she looked, but Paige had definitely gone all out in comparison. Typical, she thought to herself, though admiring her friend's sexy black cocktail dress with an asymmetrical hem. The dress fit her like a glove, showing off her assets, and of course Paige had the perfect clutch purse to top it all off.
As they walked to the gallery, Paige realized that maybe this girls' night would be good for her. She hadn't really hung out with Ellie or any girl friend of hers since Alex left and she was starting to really miss that kind of close, female companionship. Ellie was not her girlfriend or anything close to it, but she could at least pretend that it was almost as good as the real thing. However, at the same time, thinking about the subject at all made her ache for Alex's company.
Noticing Paige was being unusually quiet, Ellie attempted to strike up some semblance of conversation with her so the evening wouldn't be so uncomfortable without Marco or someone else to keep things going. "You look really nice, Paige."
"Thanks, hon. So do you. I really like that jacket on you," she said, returning the compliment.
"Yeah…I think you got it for me," Ellie said with a sideways glance and raised brow.
"I know," she nodded.
Ellie smirked out a laugh and shook her head at Paige. "So, uh, I've been really busy, but I've been meaning to ask how you've been doing lately. Since Alex, I mean," she said hesitantly. It was always touch and go with Paige. She was either going to be a total sweetheart or unnecessarily callous.
"Hon, I love you, but let's not talk about that, okay?" She replied with as much courtesy that she could muster; given the fact that sore topic was already on her mind. "In fact, let's not talk about any of our exes tonight. I just want to be out with you and doing something fun and different. I want tonight to be devoid of all…" her thoughts drifted to find the right word. "Drama."
"I can agree to that," Ellie replied with a smile.
"Instead, why don't you tell me about this artist we're going to see," Paige offered, lightening her tone and trying to think of anything other than Alex.
"I don't know that much about him, actually. I didn't have enough time to do any research. I know he works a lot with sculpting fabrics…or something like that. I'm really not sure," she shrugged.
"Sounds like you're really prepared for this interview. With a response like that, I have to admit that I'm a little nervous for you," Paige snickered.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Ellie snickered.
"No problem," she said flashing Ellie a playful, crooked grin. Noticing the crowd outside, Paige got excited to see what a gallery opening entailed. She could get used to trailing Ellie to these little exclusive events, though she knew better than to expect that from her. "Thanks for inviting me to come with you."
"You're welcome. Oh, that reminds me," she said reaching into her notebook and pulling out two paper-clipped invitations. "Here," she said handing one to Paige as they approached the bustling entrance, which Paige plucked from between Ellie's fingertips to give to the girl at the door.
Upon entrance, both took in how nicely the gallery was set up. Despite the crowd, space was abundant and art was displayed everywhere they looked: on the walls, in the center of the floors, and hanging from the ceilings. Loud music pulsed through the rooms, which Paige had not expected. She thought it would be some modest event where snobby people drank wine and whispered about the art as if they were at a golf match. Instead, it was more like a party, which was definitely something she could get into.
Ellie's heart sank a little when she saw how talented the featured artist was, wishing she'd done more research before showing up for her interview. Sculpted fabrics didn't sound all that fascinating to her at first, but the extravagance that went into creating such pieces turned out to be quite impressive. Paige seemed especially taken by it, which wasn't all that shocking since it was essentially a perfect blend of fashion and avant garde sculpture art.
After browsing together for a few minutes, Ellie located the artist and excused herself from Paige for her interview. She quickly introduced herself and was able to steal his attention for a few minutes to get some questions asked and answered for her article. It was a painless interview and she spoke with him about his particular collection as well as his ties to the university. Meanwhile, Paige wandered around the gallery and chatted with various guests while waiting patiently for Ellie's return.
After finishing up the interview, Ellie was ready to enjoy the rest of her evening with Paige. She was satisfied with the information she'd gathered and was anxious to deliver a perfect article to Jesse on Monday morning. Proud of herself, Ellie located the refreshments table and picked up two glasses of sparkling wine for herself and Paige. In looking around for the vivacious blonde, Ellie almost thought her interview had run too long and Paige had gone home out of boredom. But then she spotted her. She was sitting on a black couch, talking and laughing with another male guest who seemed completely taken by her. Not that Ellie could blame him. Even when Paige was in her pajamas and pre-caffeinated, she was beautiful. But when Paige took her hour and twenty minutes minimum to get ready for any kind of event, she was stunning and tonight was no exception.
Ellie used to hate Paige's perfection, but having gotten to know her better, she'd become somewhat entranced by her quirky and addictive personality. As it turned out, Paige wasn't at all who Ellie thought she was in high school…or maybe they'd both just changed so much since then. As she approached the couch, the man left with his friend.
"How many numbers have you given out since I left?" Ellie asked with a laugh.
"Only his, but I gave him a fake number."
"Why? He looked cute," Ellie commented, sitting beside her.
"I'm not interested in dating anyone right now," Paige answered.
"I don't think I am either," Ellie admitted while admiring her friend's unique beauty as she leaned over to untwist a strap on her high-heeled shoe that was digging into her ankle. When Paige sat up, Ellie handed her the glass of wine.
"Oh, thanks hon," she said, brushing her hair out of her face and taking a sip of the crisp drink. "People of art and fashion really know how to make their guests feel appreciated," she added with a smile. "So, how did your interview go?"
"Despite your doubts, it went really well," Ellie replied. "I think I'll be able to impress Jesse enough to get out of writing stupid horoscopes anyway."
"That's good. So, are you free now?" She asked.
"Yeah, why? Do you want to leave?" Ellie asked, taking another sip of the bubbly wine.
"No, no. I just want to show you my favorite piece," she said grabbing Ellie's hand and dragging her off the couch. "I think it's beautiful, but I want to know what you think of it," she continued.
Paige kept hold of Ellie's hand as she led her back towards one of the corners of the gallery, but then stopped in her tracks when she saw Jesse back by the particular creation she'd wanted to show her. He wasn't alone and the last thing Paige wanted was for Ellie to see him with another girl already. Spinning around on her toes, Paige faced Ellie, tense and nervous as she fumbled to find an excuse for their sudden change of plans. "You know, it's kind of crowded back there. Maybe we can just come back another time for me to show you."
"Why? You seemed pretty excited about it," Ellie said letting go of Paige's hand and trying to get around her.
"I know, but now's not really a good–" Paige protested, grabbing Ellie's hand again to stop her, but Ellie snapped her hand away when she saw what Paige had seen all along: Jesse with another journalist from The Core. She was all over him too, which made Ellie sick to her stomach.
Jesse turned around and smiled at Ellie as if he were surprised to see her, then walked over to her and Paige, holding his new girl at the waist. "Hey, Frosh. How did the interview go?" He asked.
"I asked you to call me Ellie," she jabbed, glaring at the girl she knew from the school newspaper. She was appalled that Jesse had moved on so quickly and that of all people, he was dating another journalist. She started to wonder if he was the welcoming committee to the Core or something and that girls couldn't pass Go without doing him first. She'd only had a sip of wine, but she suddenly felt the compulsion to vomit.
"Yeah, yeah, okay. Ellie," he apologized. "Hey, Paige."
"Hi," she said curtly, taking a step closer to Ellie.
Ellie detected the immediate change in Paige's tone when addressing Jesse. It felt good to have the callous Paige on her side for once. "What are you even doing here, Jesse?" Ellie asked. "I mean, you knew I was going to be here. Did you really feel the need to come here with her and rub this crap in my face?" She argued.
"I have a name," the girl replied in her own defense, clinging to Jesse possessively.
"Yeah, I know who you are," she said in her typical deadpan tone. She'd thought that they were friends, but that was apparently not true anymore, and maybe never was.
"Hon, maybe we should just go," Paige whispered to Ellie while trying to drag her away from what was going to turn into an even uglier situation if Ellie had her way. The girl was combustible and Paige knew the better option was to leave before Jesse poured on the gasoline. Fortunately, Ellie agreed with her and started walking away. Before Paige followed her, she turned around quickly to address Jesse's new girl. "He's a swine, by the way," she said tightening her lips to a bitter snarl and shaking her head. "Not worth it," she added at a whisper and a scrunch of her nose before turning around to catch up with Ellie.
"Ellie, are you okay?" She asked, touching her shoulder gently when she'd finally caught up to her out on the sidewalk.
"Don't touch me, Paige," she snipped while aggressively shrugging away from her and walking home alone.
Paige threw up her hands defensively and stood still on the sidewalk for a minute, filling her cheeks with a suspended breath before puffing it out all at once. She thought about what to do next. All she'd wanted was a drama-free night out with Ellie. That had obviously been blown out of the water, thanks to Jesse's appearance, and now Ellie was angry with her. What the hell had she done? Was it wrong of her to try and protect her and come to her defense? She certainly would have wanted Ellie to do the same for her. No matter what she did lately, it seemed that she was always going to be wrong.
Ellie was light-years ahead of her on the sidewalk and never once turned around as she stormed her way back home. Paige desperately wanted to take off her agonizing heels so she could catch up with her and try to comfort her again, but she knew the sidewalks were filthy and there was no way in hell Paige Michalchuk was going to walk home barefoot and alone.
Eventually Paige made it inside the house. She removed her shoes and headed up the stairs to go to bed early, as was her original plan. But when she walked by Ellie's room, Ellie spoke up from her dark bedroom.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," she said.
For a minute, Paige thought about saying something crass in return, but changed her mind, knowing now was not the time to make Ellie feel any worse about the evening's events. "It's okay," she answered quietly from the doorway.
"I just can't believe he moved on so fast!" Ellie screamed, throwing a framed picture of her and Jesse across the room, shattering against the wall.
"Whoa," Paige reacted, her eyes wide and tense from Ellie's violent outburst. Cautiously, she stepped into the room and sat down next to Ellie on the bed, hoping that she wasn't so explosive at the moment that she'd take her anger out on Paige…again.
"And he's dating the new girl at the Core, Paige. He obviously just uses that place as his own private dating pool. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to feel about that?! I was just another stupid girl and probably meant nothing to him!" Ellie yelled again.
"You're not just another girl, Ellie. He's a jerk," she said, knowing first hand. "Now we both know."
"I feel like such an idiot for ever caring about him," she said, letting her forehead fall into her hand.
"Stop, Ellie. You're not stupid or an idiot," Paige said, running her hand through Ellie's hair to get her attention. "Because that would mean that I'm an idiot and I'm not an idiot," she said with a smirk. "Most of the time."
"I sorry, Paige," she said, embarrassed by her outburst. "I really wanted to just have a good time tonight, but…" Ellie thought for a minute.
"I know, hon," she said reaching her open arms out for Ellie to accept, which she did.
Ellie fell onto Paige's shoulder and held her close. "God, I am so angry. At him. At myself. But the worst of it is…I still miss him," she confessed while holding onto Paige tightly, resisting an onslaught of emotions. "What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing's wrong with you, sweetie," she replied, taking a deep breath when she noticed the wavering in Ellie's voice. Where the fuck is Marco? This was not her forte. Especially since she felt the same way about Alex and she'd been trying really hard to move on from her without anyone else's assistance or knowledge of how badly she was hurting from the break up. Paige hadn't even started speaking when she felt her own floodgates start to crack as Ellie trembled against her.
Ellie didn't say anything, but Paige could feel her tears drip down from her cheeks to her chest. They blazed a warm path down her skin, slipping between her breasts and then melting into the black fabric of her dress. Paige bit her bottom lip, restraining her own tears from falling as she talked Ellie through her quiet sobs. She held onto her tighter and smoothed her hands through her auburn hair, wishing all the while that the girl in her arms was Alex and not Ellie.
As they sat together, Paige heard a shuffle outside Ellie's room. She looked over her shoulder and saw Marco in the doorway.
"Is she okay?" He mouthed to Paige while pointing to Ellie.
Paige nodded, but silently replied, "Jesse" back to him.
He nodded with an understanding cringe before reaching for the doorknob and waving a goodnight to her so they could be alone. So much for support, Paige thought.
Ellie sat up when she heard the door close. "Who was that?"
"Just Marco," she answered while smoothing down the collar of Ellie's jacket. "I think he has company."
"Oh," she answered, rubbing the streaks of blurred mascara off of her pale cheeks. "I'm sorry about all this, Paige. I know you have to work tomorrow. You're probably–"
"Really, Ellie. It's okay," she interrupted, looking back at her sympathetically.
Ellie twirled a finger through the ends of one of Paige's curls, now damp from her own tears, thinking about what she was going through and wondering if Paige felt the same way about Alex. Paige never talked about her even though everyone knew that Alex had meant the world to Paige not so long ago. "I know you didn't want to talk about it, but do you miss Alex?" She asked, looking up and easily reading Paige's not-so-hidden thoughts.
She was quiet for a minute, looking everywhere but at Ellie until she nodded her reply. "Yeah," she said quietly while trying to stay in control. "I miss her a lot. But we're so different…we both knew it was over," she shrugged.
"That doesn't mean it hurts any less," Ellie thought aloud.
"I know," she said, sniffling back her tears.
Paige needed to leave, even though she knew Ellie wanted and maybe even needed her to stay. In truth, that was part of the reason why she wanted to go. She was uncomfortable talking about Alex, but Ellie was sitting so close to her and she was being especially affectionate. She knew it was out of loneliness and Paige felt the same way, but it was the same affection she'd missed coming from Alex and it was getting harder for her to not indulge in it.
She finally looked over to Ellie to see why she was being so quiet, but had to look away quickly. The look in her eyes was tender, but she was clearly waiting for something from Paige. It made her restless because she was pretty sure that she had the same look in her eyes.
"We should get some sleep, hon," she said finally, petting Ellie's leg and standing up to leave.
As she stood, however, Ellie took hold of her arm, dragging her fingers down the soft, pale skin until she held her hand. Drawing Paige back to her, Ellie stood from the bed, reached her other hand around Paige's neck, and bravely pulled her into a kiss. She'd half-expected Paige to pull away, but she didn't. The kiss was chaste, but it encompassed every superficial need they both missed from those that they truly wanted.
Fearing that Ellie would wake up the next morning regretting this, however innocent it was, Paige gently pulled away. Ellie pressed her tear-streaked face onto Paige's cheek and knotted her hands into her long, golden curls. "Stay," she sighed.
Paige stepped back and cocked her head to the side, baffled by Ellie's behavior. "Um, are you feeling all right, hon?"
Ellie sat down on the bed, pulling Paige to stand at the end in front of her. "No…that's the point," she answered, opening her legs for Paige to stand between them, above her. "Do you like being alone, Paige?" Ellie asked as she pressed her lips to the blonde's stomach while reaching her hands around her perfectly curved waist. "Because I don't," she said, looking up to the hopeless, hazel eyes that were looking down at her.
Paige's self-righteous conscience rapidly disintegrated from Ellie's touch and vulnerable, truthful pleas. She tentatively laced her fingers into her fiery locks and leaned over to kiss her again. At first, the kiss was as innocent as before. But then Ellie's hands wandered up the sides of Paige's dress while she curled her legs around her, pulling her close until the only place Paige could go was down…and then Paige lost it. Tears escaped her eyes as she opened her mouth and kissed Ellie with more fervor than she thought she even possessed. She kissed her how she'd wished she'd dared to kiss Alex when she'd had the chance. And as Ellie drowned in the passion of her friend's kiss, moaning from the unexpected surge that flowed through her, Paige drowned herself in self-inflicted guilt, regret, and unending loneliness.
Pushing Ellie down onto the bed and lifting her dress so she could straddle atop her, Paige carefully unbuttoned Ellie's black jacket to remove it. Ellie eagerly wiggled out of it and tossed it to the floor before tearing off her grey knit top and dropping it to wherever her jacket had fallen. She grabbed the sides of Paige's face and kissed her again and again; her lips, her neck, her cheeks, any exposed skin she could find while Paige touched her bare shoulders, stomach, and the simple edging of her bra. Paige brushed her fingers over Ellie's covered breast and she visibly shuddered when pleasure-filled moans escaped from Ellie's lips.
Paige rested her weight on top of her and felt the waif's delicate arms wrap around her as Ellie slipped one of her legs between hers, pushing her dress above her hips. Ellie lifted her thigh against Paige's very center and held onto her curvy hips until Paige moaned from the contact. She instinctively rolled her hips against Ellie's thigh while looking down at the girl through her fallen strands of gold. Ellie was once her enemy in school and maybe she still was in some ways, but they both knew that this wasn't about them. And yet, the way Ellie shamelessly pulsed her hips against Paige and explored every curve with her hands and mouth made Paige so hot for her that she didn't know how to process or explain it.
Ellie found the side zipper of Paige's dress and slowly pulled it down until all of the teeth were separated, exposing her perfect skin. She carefully lifted the ends of the dress over Paige's head and then threw it to the floor. Paige gasped when Ellie tossed her garment to the floor as if it were nothing but worthless fabric, but when she felt the redhead's hands running up her bare back, pulling her down on top of her again and into a deep, desperate kiss, she quickly forgot all about the dress.
Their hands traveled over every inch of each other, trying to find something familiar, something missing from what they had both reluctantly let go of, but it wasn't there. Nothing about this was familiar. But now it was too late to stop as their original plea for informal comfort had been replaced with a need for instant, selfish gratification.
Ellie arched her back when Paige dropped her lips to taste her neck, breasts, and stomach. She held Paige against her, hungry for the heat that was simmering between her legs until she could resist no longer. Ellie looked up into her eyes and pushed her hand between Paige's thighs. As she slipped her fingers into her, Ellie lurched forward from the bed to bite and suck at her bottom lip while pushing Paige backwards onto the bed until she was on top of her.
Her blonde curls cascaded over the edge of the bed and she could feel Ellie's other hand tangling her fingers into each one of them at the base of her neck. "Oh God, Ellie," Paige groaned, curling her hips against her small fingers inside of her and pinning her chin to her chest, her mouth open and panting. Ellie kissed her neck as she forced her fingers deeper within Paige and then added the pressure of her rolling hipbone against her.
As Paige's body quaked beneath her, Paige clutched Ellie's back and sunk her manicured nails into her skin when she climaxed. Ellie whimpered from the familiar pain being released and felt an immediate rush of adrenaline flow through her like a rollercoaster that had flown off of its tracks. Ellie had resisted cutting herself for a long time, but she still longed for the painful, emotional release that came with it. She needed Paige to hurt her. She begged Paige not to stop and winced when she did as asked, clawing unsympathetically at her back. Ellie's body undulated against Paige until she eventually collapsed on top of her, her back on fire and her throat dry and crackling from her relentless cries.
Relaxing her hands, Paige held Ellie warily as they each fought to catch their breath. Paige looked down to Ellie, who was looking away from her, and then focused her attention on the ceiling, feeling the weight of their mistake plummet like a torpedo on top of them.
"Fuck," Ellie whispered, covering her eyes with her hand and keeping her face away from Paige, but still nonetheless laying on top of her.
My sentiments exactly, Paige thought to herself, still staring at the ceiling and unable to speak. She couldn't figure out how the fuck she'd let this happen and she was beyond paranoid that Marco had heard them.
Ellie slowly sat up and dangled her legs over the end of the bed, still avoiding Paige. "No one can know about this."
"Oh, trust me, hon. Consider these lips sealed," she said sitting up and facing the opposite direction on the bed. Catching a glance of Ellie's back, Paige sighed when she saw the undeniable evidence of their mistake. "I highly doubt that our secret is safe," she said.
"What do you mean?" Ellie asked, turning around.
"You weren't exactly quiet, sweetie, and we have roommates," she clued the girl in.
"I wasn't that bad," she defended herself, standing up to take off her jeans so she could get into bed, go to sleep, and forget that this whole thing ever happened.
"You're kidding, right?" Paige laughed. "I'm not going to make it down the hall without hearing it from Marco, thanks to you."
"Well, you can sleep here I guess," she offered.
"It's all right; I'll go," Paige replied, standing up from the bed to collect her clothing and leave.
"Paige, just stay. It's late, and really…what the fuck else is going to happen?" She said with a chuckle as she got back into bed.
She had a point and Paige was really too tired and embarrassed to risk being accosted in the hall by their other roommate. She sighed aloud, considering her options. "You really don't mind?"
Ellie smiled and waved Paige over to her from the bed. Paige removed her bra and threw it onto the ever-growing pile of women's clothes on Ellie's floor before crawling under the blankets with Ellie. "Do you want a shirt or something?" Ellie asked.
"What would be the point?" Paige laughed sarcastically. "Unless you're uncomfortable, I mean. Are you?"
Ellie smiled reassuringly and kissed Paige's forehead. "No," she answered, reaching her hands around her back to remove her own bra. Rolling over to her side, Ellie took a deep breath and settled onto her pillow, closing her eyes for a minute before reopening them and staring off into space. She couldn't comprehend what had happened, but she was also too tired to talk about it with Paige coherently. The bed shifted as Paige rolled over to face the other way and go to sleep.
"Paige?" Ellie spoke quietly without moving. Paige murmured an inarticulate response. "I don't want you to think that I didn't enjoy or…that I regret…um…it's just that –"
"I know, Ellie," Paige interrupted her, turning to face her. She brushed Ellie's hair away from her neck and kissed her below the ear. She draped her arm over her waist and felt Ellie lace her fingers between her own, pulling her close. "We'll talk to Marco in the morning so he knows to keep quiet and everything will be fine," she whispered. "I promise." She didn't believe her own words, but she felt the need to protect Ellie's reputation more than her own at the moment.
Ellie had to believe that everything would be fine, like Paige said it would be, but she knew that no matter how well they tried to cover up what happened, someone would find out sooner or later and she would have to deal with it. Her mind flooded with unreasonable thoughts and questions and she tried to figure out what it all meant, but in the end, exhaustion overcame her. She whispered a goodnight to Paige, but could tell with how slow and peaceful the girl was breathing against her neck that she was already asleep. Ellie closed her eyes and relaxed into Paige's warm embrace, feeling her desire for meaningful contact melt away. For the first time in a long while, Ellie felt safe and secure.
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