AN: Hello everone! This is my first ff and it was based on a prompt sent on castlefanficprompts: "Season 8 AU. Castle and Beckett are separated (not yet divorced) when he sends her flowers and a note saying 'Always gonna be you'". I don't know if this was what you were expecting, but I hope you enjoy.
PS: English is not my mother language, so I'm sorry if it has some mistakes.
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It was in nights like this that she missed him the most.
Kate sat alone in her old apartment's living room, with a bottle of Scotch in her hands, watching some stupid show wishing he was at her side so they could make jokes about the characters together. The apartment that once felt so small, now felt like Castle's Hamptons beach house. Oh, Castle.
Her cousin used to be there at night to keep her company, trying to distract her from the sorrows of her break up, but this week Sofia went to Italy to some kind of conference and now she doesn't have any other distraction than to drink herself to sleep.
The same old questions ran through her mind over and over again. Why did you have to leave him? Is finding this Loksat person really more important than your relationship? Why do you always end up pushing him away? Why you have to be so stupid? It was like she was back to the summer after the shooting. Except that now, more than ever, she had the exact idea of what she was missing out and that was killing her.
He, for months, tried so hard to please her, everyday showing up at the precinct with some kind of surprise for her, working twice as hard in a case he somehow manage in just to find that one clue that would crack the whole thing. He tried; he tried so hard day after day, until he just didn't anymore. And she couldn't blame him; she would've given up on her too.
It's been a month since she saw him for the last time and everything hurts.
She spend her days trying to convince herself that maybe it was for the best, maybe he will find someone less broken, someone who won't push him away and break his heart every single year. Someone who wouldn't risk his life by simply being with him. But even with all the effort, she can't bring herself into believing in those words.
The pain is almost unbearable, so she gets up from the couch and grab one of his books. She doesn't bother to walk back to the couch and just sits right there on the floor.
Her fingers danced over the lines that formed his name. She wanted to laugh at the irony of the situation. Years ago his words provided comfort reminding her of her mom, bringing, with that, a feeling of home. Now, they also brought the same feeling, with the difference being he was –is– her home.
She hasn't realized she was crying until a single tear fell right into her wedding ring. What if he really gave up, what do I do then? There's a knock on the door, but she ignores it. She doesn't want to move, she may have lost the most important person of her life and she didn't have anyone to blame but herself.
The knock continues and she lets out a whine before finally moving towards the door without bothering to dry her eyes. "Delivery to, uh, Mrs. Castle." A shot of pain run through her body at the mention of her married name. "It's me, thanks." She signs the paper and the man hands her a bouquet of lilies and she instantly thinks of him. Shaking these thoughts out of her mind, she thanks the delivery boy again and closes the door behind her.
She put the flowers at the counter on the kitchen, knowing that it must be a card somewhere within the flowers. Voilà. A small card in it with a familiar handwriting has her heart skipping a beat and with shaking hands she brings the paper closer to her eyes.
"It's always going to be you."
Her whole body is shaking. He hasn't given up. He still loves her, still wants her. A sudden feeling of happiness invades her and for the first time in a very long time, she forgets about consequences, forgets about this insane obsession driving her mad and she is certain of what to do.
She puts the lilies in a vase, examining them for a brief moment. They are the Purple Calla type and she knows that he knows they mean passion, which for some reason makes her cheeks go a darker shade of pink.
Without postponing any longer she leaves the house before her common sense has the change of stepping in.
Kate arrives at his building in a record time, but the moment she steps into the elevator reality comes flooding back at her. She shouldn't do this, she should be protecting him by keeping her distance, but he is her partner and she didn't realize how much she needed him until all of this happened.
She forces her feet to move, one after another. Her chest burn with anticipation. She knocks on his door and in a matter of seconds he emerges behind it.
He looks surprise, his eyes wide, but she can help notice the smile that linger on his lips. "Beckett, what do you want?" A small smile form on her lips with the memory of the last time he said those words to her in the very same doorstep but this time she doesn't answer, she just launch herself into his arms, her lips attacking his.
It feels so good, everything seems exactly where they were meant to be. But before she could deepen the kiss, Castle pulled away.
She looked up at him confused and slighly hurt, she couldn't possibly have misinterpreted the note. Just as she was about to ask him what was wrong, he said; "You forgot your line."
It took her sometime to figure it out what he was talking about, but then it hit her that she wasn't the only one making parallels in her mind tonight and a tentative smile formed on her lips. "You, Castle. I just want you. Can you now, please, throw me against the door?"
And he did exactly like she remembered. Only better.