Carth Onasi woke to the sound of muted laughter and for a long moment he couldn't decide if it was real or remnants of his quickly fading dream. He was in his bed in his Brentaal quarters, and it seemed wrong to be here. It was wrong for him to be alone, but he hadn't been alone when he'd fallen asleep, or had he been? He sat up, picking up the pillow on the other side of the bed and burying his face in it. He was awake and he could definitely smell the scent of Sarah's hair. It was real. And that made the voices, the soft laughter, real. The marks on his flesh made the laughter real. The stiff catch in his stride when he slid from the bed and moved to the door made the laughter real.
He dressed and opened to the door to a scene of domestic chaos, exactly as it should be. His quarters were for a single man...his rank had given him a nice apartment, but it had definitely not been meant for him, his fiancee, his son, and his soon to be adopted daughter. Four adults or damned near adults were crammed into this tiny space, and he absorbed the tableau laid out before him. The two teenagers were seated at the tiny table, heads close together as they both stared at the same screen. And watching maternally over them was the most reviled being in the galaxy, thankfully assumed by most to be safely dead. Sarah, her hair up in a messy knot at the back of her head, dressed in loose clothes, was leaning against the wall with her caf mug in her hand. She looked so damned ordinary. She could walk down any street in the Republic and not gain a second look, she looked just the same as any woman in everyday clothes, any wife, any mother, any worker, any citizen. Even her eyes were returning to their normal color, they'd been yellow as recently as her stay on Coruscant, but he recognized their current muddy brown as the shade between that yellow and her usual gray.
"Morning, babe." He greeted and she smiled at him in response. "You got that?" He waved a hand at the kids and they both stared at him. Depending on whatever it was they were studying, he would either be quite adept or completely hopeless. But he was uncertain how much of an education that Jedi normally got in the first place, and how much that Sarah could recall of what she had gotten. Mission had never had an education. Dustil's had been interrupted by the destruction of his homeworld and his capture. And Carth's had been simply middle of the road, so much of it was self taught, or Navy cram courses focused on piloting, navigation and command. He was an ordinary man from an out of the way world that had specialized in agriculture.
"I think so." Sarah shrugged, "And even if I don't...it's time for these two to go to someone who should." There was the slightest edge of a command in that, something that Dustil picked up on immediately. It was odd to see him comply so quickly, tucking his last slice of toast in his teeth, gathering up his backpack and jacket and heading for the door. But Sarah was not his mother, not even truly his step mother...she was his master. They had a relationship that Carth would never understand and knew better than to try. He understood Mission's response much more, the wrinkled nose, the edge of rebellion rising in her eyes, but she had no chance to work that once Sarah had turned away from her...and Carth only shook his head and shrugged when Mission unleashed the pitiable stare on him. "School." He growled when she kept trying. He wasn't that much of a pushover. She rolled her eyes at him, added a gusty sigh for emphasis, but gathered up her belongings and followed Dustil out of the apartment.
"Poor, poor Mission." Sarah chuckled after the door closed behind her. "Never really gave much thought to what would happen afterward."
"Did any of us? Really?" He sat at the chair that Dustil had just vacated, watching the expressions flow across her face. No, they'd had hopes and dreams, shadowy goals to keep them going through the worst of times. He'd proposed to her, told her he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but even then it had seemed nebulous. It wasn't much of a reach to make that commitment when he honestly had felt that the rest of his life wasn't going to be long at all. But now, that doubt lifted.
She smiled, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "No, my dear. We didn't. That was hidden from me just as much as it was hidden from you. Makes it all the sweeter."
Yes, it did. They'd come so far, achieved so much, all without any real expectation of getting through it all intact. Or mostly intact, he wasn't the only one who looked like he'd been a chew toy for a rancor, Sarah had come out the other side looking worse than he did. He hadn't pressed for details and she hadn't offered, but he had eyes. Something terrible had happened to her in the very short time she'd been away from him on the Star Forge, something had left that latticework of burned scars across her back. He could only take comfort in the fact that she'd given as good as she'd gotten...nothing remained of the Star Forge and whatever she'd run into on it. Bastila had looked dubious, shaken her head slowly when he'd asked if those marks on Sarah had been inflicted by a lightsaber...by Malak directly. And there simply hadn't been enough time for Carth's worst nightmares, no matter what his imagination tried to kick up. She had only been out of their sight for half an hour or so. Whatever had happened had happened quickly and been over, and he knew she'd confronted and killed Malak during that half hour...
"You're thinking." Her voice was darkened with disapproval and he simply shrugged. Yes, she had been Darth Revan. Yes, she still breathed so much of what had made her that, but he was not afraid of her. He knew he probably should be, but he wasn't, and refused to try to be.
"I do that sometimes. But only sometimes."
"Hmm." She was not impressed with his attempt at levity. "Spit it out."
"We came off of the Star Forge intact...mostly. I was wondering about your back. Wondering if Malak...?"
She sighed, collecting the abandoned dishes from the table and stacking them. "I ran headlong into the Forge's ability to manufacture its own security droids in a hurry. It took me a few minutes to sideline that ability. So no, it wasn't as...impressive...as fending off the Dark Lord of the Sith with lightsabers, but still quite effective. That son of a bitch just did not want to face me head on...even after I was broken. I suppose I should be flattered."
That had happened before she'd even found Malak. She'd been chewed up and losing blood going into the fight, and she'd still won. Broken, her memory devastated, injured, and she'd still dragged Malak down. "You are something else again."
"And don't you forget that."
"Like I could." He was blessed to have her. She'd brought him to life again, given him a purpose, hope, his son and a family again. "I want to marry you, Sarah." It had been said before, of course, but like so much of that...everything had been couched in the realization that it was probably not going to happen. The chances that both of them would survive had been slim and they'd understood it. Now it became real, or it fell apart.
"Understood." That was not the answer he was expecting and he he watched her carefully. That was not a yes...not a no...simply a statement that she heard him.
"Sarah?"
"The Temple on Coruscant requests my presence now that I am, as they put it, recovered enough. I only wish I knew...what they knew. I smell a trial, but I can't hide from them. My actions on Rakata Prime...with Malak...were not designed to keep me hidden. I will go to answer for my..." Her voice faded off and his heart became leaden in his chest. Crimes? Indiscretions? Sins? He was all too aware of them all, all too aware of how someone on the outside could judge her. He'd been there, he'd done that himself. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen this coming; he was hopeful, not stupidly naive.
"I will..." What? Go with her? He knew he wasn't, and even if he did, he'd be worse than useless. He needed to stay here on Brentaal. He needed to hold the course and take care of the children. He needed to remain the steadfast, reliable soldier that he'd always been. He was pretty much guaranteed the Cross of Glory, pretty much guaranteed Admiral. And those were things that could help pull Sarah...Revan...out of deep, deep shit. He needed to be a supporter. Throwing it away to chase her sounded lovely, but he knew better. He'd never been the sort of man to throw his weight around because of rank or awards before, but he'd do it for her any day. "Stay here." Well, it did at least get a laugh out of her, she burst into a deep belly chuckle. It was, as always, a glorious sound.
He stood, wrapping his arms around her. All he wanted to do was make her happy and keep her safe. That should be easy. It wasn't. The things standing in his way were just so big, but they'd already made it through the impossible, now they were just dealing with the improbable. And anyway, she was Revan, a force unto herself. Even though he knew he should be upset, get upset, he just couldn't manage. And it was always like that when she was close. He'd follow her to hell, he'd already done it. Now he just had to follow her back from the brink.
"I love you. And I'll be there, wherever you need me." She knew that, of course, but it still soothed him to say it to her aloud.
"We'll get through this, Carth. Trust me."
Of course he trusted her. He trusted her like he'd never trusted another living person in his life. He trusted her with everything he held dear, and he was going to keep trusting her. "When are you going?" He knew the answer already. Sarah did not hesitate, if there was a battle to be joined, she'd join it. Waiting did none of them any good, the Temple was not going to forget about this. All that would do was put off the inevitable and Sarah was terrible at that. She proved the point when she looked away from him, trying to cushion the answer, and he nodded. "I'll go with you to the spaceport, then." It was hard to realize what he was saying, the idea of letting go of her now was terrible. He'd brought her home. That should be the end of this, but it wasn't.