How Does It Feel

By: KaKaVegeGurl

Authors Note:

Okay, so I know I cut this one short before, but Ima revise it.

Welcome to the new and redeemed 'How Does It Feel'!!

As I said in the past version... If yer not in the mood for a tear jerker, then turn away now, you have been warned. This fic is practically angst 101.

Also I want to make it clear now, in the past version of this fanfic it seemed that Vegeta and Bulma were sort of... Together. Well not in this one, no sir-ee. This will take place in the three year period before the Android Saga. Goku is home, he knows about Trunks, and he knows about the Androids.

But Trunks will NOT be born, nor will Vegeta and Bulma EVER get together. If you are hoping fer that... Go find another fanfic. XD This IS a Yaoi.

Alright Ima jump right into it now, have a nice steaming cup of yaoi and enjoy!

KaKaVegeGurl

Side Notes:

'...' Thoughts

"..." Talking

Chapter 1 - Kakarrot?

'It's such a great feeling. To subtract yourself from those with feelings. A great feeling to not ever be involved with anyone; to not have emotions. To not feel pain or remorse. To not hurt. Or cry, when the pain seemed to much. It is great. Some would call it torture, a torture not to have someone to turn to. Torture to not have someone to talk to. To tell you that everything is okay, and that you're loved.'

'But I don't see it as such.'

'Some would think it would be lonely. Of course it was lonely, but to not have emotions like I... Who could even care? I can't feel lonely because that's just it.'

'I can't feel.'

'A warrior never feels. He doesn't feel lonely, or sad, angry... Not even hurt. And I'm that warrior. I'm not breakable, I'm not human. I don't fall in love, or make love. Or show love in any form. I am a stone wall.'

'So alone as usual, alone inside with the aching feeling of cold and emptiness that even the sun could not heat.'

'But this was merely as I expected. I knew it would be like this, of course. Only a blind person could not see that it would end this way. I was alone before he came along, and now I will always be alone. I'm a warrior.'

'And a warrior is always alone.'

"I think Vegeta should go out with you this weekend, maybe get away from Capsule Corp. You two can train some or something."

Goku sat down after he had poured himself a healthy cup of tea, "What makes you say that? Isn't he doing good here? He hasn't been giving you any trouble, has he?"

Bulma smiled sweetly, "No, it's nothing like that. He just seems a bit... Quiet."

"You mean more then usual right?"

"Well yes. Of course he's always been quiet before but now he's just..." Bulma sat down as well, "I don't know. I think he needs someone to talk to, and you're a Saiyan so..."

Goku frowned at her and looked out the window at the Gravity Room, "Has he ever told you anything?"

"What makes you think Vegeta would tell me something?" The blue haired woman asked investigatively, "What kind of secrets are you talking about?"

"Well," Goku looked down, "Has he ever told you anything he wouldn't tell anyone else?"

Bulma raised a brow at him before speaking, "You mean... His feelings? Something like that? Well he's told me a few things over the past couple months, but I'm pretty sure that you'd be the first he would have told them to."

"Has he ever told you anything about his past? Or what he's been through?"

"No... Not really. Vegeta doesn't ever seem to like talking about Frieza," Bulma looked down finally, "Believe me, I've tried. But he just leaves the room when I bring up something even relatively close."

This news only made Goku frown more, "Sure, he can come over to my place for a while. I could use a good sparring partner."

Bulma stared at him sternly and stood up, "Now don't you just leave it at that. What is this about Goku? Is he in some sort of trouble? Because if he's gonna go loco and blow up my house then I don't want him around."

"No, no," Goku smiled stupidly, throwing his hand to the back of his head in his usual Son way, "I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure Vegeta's fine. I just want to learn more about him."

'After storing away the past so far in the back of my mind, I've come to one conclusion. I will not tell a soul. As far as I should be concerned it never happened. It's the fear that it did happen that's been destroying me since day one.'

'To keep hidden away a secret as deep as mine would destroy me, like it has been doing all along. Consuming me over time and eventually... It'll rot in my mind.'

'But I suppose that is a fate much better then admittance.'

'To admit it would be weak and overwhelming. And that is not something I want to fold into. Not something I want my name to be even relatively similar to.'

'A warrior is alone and strong. And emotionless. A past such as mine being known to anyone could be very hazardous.'

'No one can be trusted with such information. Not even Kakarrot, possibly especially him most of all. It would become humiliating to ever face him again afterwards. A weakness I can not admit to.'

'He is the enemy. He can not be trusted at all.'

'Even if he is Saiyan and he's the only other one left of our kind besides for myself. He does not need to know.'

'No one needs to know.'

Vegeta surveyed the room with a glare, "This suppose the be inviting, Kakarrot?"

"Oh give it time, you're only really staying over for a couple of nights. It won't kill you." Goku smiled widely as he made the bed, "Look, is there something wrong?"

The small Prince frowned and walked to the window of the empty room, "Is there ever anything wrong? It's none of your concern, clown."

Goku looked at him and frowned darkly, "If that's how you want it, Vegeta."

Vegeta turned and glared at him, "So when are we going to train? I'm getting tired of standing around. My muscles are relaxing."

"Now if you want."

The Prince smiled in return, taking a deep breath and letting his arms fall from their current crossed position over his chest, "Alright then. And I trust you know how to cook? The food on this planet is discomforting."

"Well, yeah I can cook," Goku stared at him for a moment in shock, "Gosh Vegeta, I completely forgot that you're not use to our kinds of food."

Vegeta rolled his eyes in response, "So, we're going to fight then?"

"No, we're going to spar. We're not going to hurt ourselves or even try to kill one another." Goku smiled to him.

"Right, spar."

Ending Notes:

Revamped and all, sorry fer the shortness, it was just a sort of push. You may notice there is a scene missing, it'll be in the next Chapter! XD

Hope you can wait fer it, review?

KaKaVegeGurl