Good day, I am Mr. TheEnlightener.
Today, I would like to talk about cartoon x-overs and what I think about them.
For those of you who are new to cartoon x-overs, let me fill you in:
They are, quite simply, A BIG FUCKING WASTE OF TIME TO WRITE AND TO READ.
I mean, it's really hard to emphasize how bad these things are. There is no talent, no creativity, and no effort in a single cartoon x-over fanfic on this site!
Don't believe me? Here, I'll enlighten you (hence my alias)…
First of all, there's the concept of the cartoon x-over in its very nature. It's just someone's pitiful attempt to write entertainment by ripping off animated films or shows. They try to pass it off as original by putting characters from different franchises in the place of the story's actual characters.
It is rather remarkable how they can get away with such a thing, even on fanfiction. I mean, it's just plagiarism! Pure, wholesome plagiarism! The authors even take the dialogue from the movie/show/other thing they are satirizing and copy it word-for-word into their stories. There is very little attempt to add more to the story.
There are two things that virtually all cartoon x-over authors have in common: a lack of detail, and a lack of a grammatically-correct syntax. I know that they expect whoever reads their stories to have seen the material it was based off of beforehand, but they are all incredibly general in terms of the detail. Half the time, someone could be wondering "What the fuck am I reading?" just because of the lack of detail. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE AT ALL!
And the grammar… God, don't even get me started on that. A lot of these people have horrendous grammar. I mean, there are a plethora of mistakes in every cartoon x-over fanfic I have ever come by. It just shows you how little effort the writers actually put into them.
I mean, I found this fanfic that spoofed the series of "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends." Do you know how long it took me to find the first grammatical error? About four seconds. There was an error in the SECOND FUCKING SENTENCE!
It's like the writers don't even give a shit if they're work is understandable or presentable. And that really pisses me off. It's like they're insulting the intelligence of the readers. Aside from that, the first rule in the community etiquette is to have proper spelling and grammar. To fail to fulfill this duty is inexcusable. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Then again, based off of some of the reviews left on cartoon x-over fanfics that other cartoon x-over writers have left, I am just astounded. They actually make it seem as if they have no idea what is going to happen. Um, HELLO?
Why would they pretend they have no idea what is going to happen when they are reading a complete rip-off of something they are expected to have seen beforehand? Don't tell me it's because they want the author to think they're actually amused, that is just implausible. I think it's because they're either morons, or they are easily impressed. VERY easily impressed.
In my mind, the intelligence of a cartoon x-over writer is open to debate. I do acknowledge that some of them may have potential, but they're wasting it in an odyssey of stupidity.
There are more problems within the fanfics themselves. The contents of a cartoon x-over fanfic piss me off even more than the authors do!
For one thing, all the characters are bland and dull, with little to no character development whatsoever. The authors have a habit of extracting almost all character development in place of a futile effort to look entertaining.
They also have a tendency to take the plotline of whatever they're caricaturing and turn it into an ambiguous amalgamation of stupidity. The plot is practically nonsensical in most cases. Some of the time, you actually have to pause and think "How does this relate to the original plot?"
But I think the major problem most cartoon x-over fanfics have is the genres they are typically given by the authors. These genres are Humor and Parody.
Umm, they could not be any more wrong in that regard. In a fanfic labeled Humor or Parody, you're expected to find some comical content. You will not find this in a cartoon x-over fanfic.
Not only do cartoon x-over authors fail to make up any jokes of their own, but they have the almost unique ability to make every original joke unfunny. I'm fucking serious; every single line is written in the same boring, monotonous tone of consistent drivel.
Hell, by comparison, the movie Schindler's List had more humorous material than all the cartoon x-over fanfics on this site combined. Yeah, I said it! Schindler's List – arguably the saddest, most tragic, most depressing film ever made, yet still considered to be one of the greatest movies ever made as well as one of my all-time favorites – is funnier than all cartoon x-over fanfics!
Actually, Schindler's List did have one funny joke that did not involve anti-Semitism about two hours into the film. If you've seen that movie you probably know what I'm talking about.
As I was saying, humor and parody go as well with the genre for cartoon x-overs about as well as Ed Wood goes with directing movies. If there is any genre a cartoon x-over author should assign to one of their fanfics, it should be Tragedy. I mean, they always involve taking an animated work and turning it into nothing. Less than nothing. That is tragedy in its very nature.
Another person once tried to do a cartoon x-overs fanfic with CATS the musical. Umm, WTF? CATS is not an animated film; it's a movie/stage musical with professional theatre performers pretending to be anthropomorphic cats. It's my favorite musical ever, and I took a look at that fanfic. It still suffered the exact same problems I mentioned before. However, the author stopped writing that one after just the second chapter; so, at least their cruelty towards CATS was brief.
One time, I even came across this guy attempted to spoof the Nostalgia Critic. That is perhaps the single dumbest thing a cartoon x-over writer can ever do (which is saying a lot). I mean, how exactly does that work? How does this site let that person get away with that? Didn't they read the fucking Rules and Guidelines?
For one thing, it is a direct violation of this website's protocol to directly involve non-fictional characters in a story. For another thing, well… it's just fucking stupid! The Nostalgia Critic's reviews are original, and he actually is creative. But the person that was impersonating him on this site was just MOCKING him. That's what I call crossing the line: satirizing a person who already satirizes other works.
So, please, if you are interested in writing cartoon x-over fanfics, spend some time to think about what you are doing. Every single writer of this shit I've encountered has had the same problems: barely any detail, no constructive creativity, and hardly any interesting material whatsoever.
If you are interested in cartoon x-overs, I implore you to prove me wrong. Just TRY to act like you give a shit. Just TRY to actually put some effort into your work.
Have a nice day.